j00wish[dot]com

A Pat on the Back and Slap Upside the Head

Today was a roller coaster of emotions. It started off with me send the daily hospital census and crossing my fingers. Yesterday I didn't get any feedback, which I took as a good sign. Today I heard the email chime and grimaced. BBB's name was in bold. It was a reply to my email. After taking a few deep breathes I opened it up. Not only was there praise galore (this is a terrific report!), but he CC'd the other BBs outside of my area and asked me to add them to the list to receive the report. After making some sort of bizarre "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" sound I took a breathe and yelled "Woo Hoo!" Thank goodness I was alone. Then the other emails came in and the calls started. Apparently I'm a hit. This is a good thing and bad, but mostly good. *grins* Say my name, baby... say my name!

Later on in the day I managed to fuck up that positive aura. My boss was standing behind me (she came by to congratulate me on the report) and asked about some rules. I said I'd shoot off an email to my doc and instead of making a NEW email I just hit reply to the last one I sent. It just *happened* to be one saying "Anyway, I am still nervous about the position… even though My Boss says not to be. I have been pulling my hair out about nothing being ready. The bottom line is that it’s a waiting game for the doctors to get their ass in gear". Yeah, so anyway... I shit bricks. We talked briefly as I typed it out, not wanting to be so obvious but knowing she saw the whole thing, and then she left and I panicked. A few hours (and gazillion phone calls to friends) later I called her to explain the context of the email and it was all good. Did I mention I have the most awesome boss in the whole wide world?

Pick a Number...

Rocking the Jew nose
Originally uploaded by j00wish

Oh yes, work has been fun. I'm still trying to get the hang of everything, which is half the battle. Then there's the battle of the BBs. Every day I need to email a report showing the census of all three hospitals. No problem... except they want it broken down for JUST their department. That's all fin and dandy, except neither of the two UCLA hospitals or the private one list patients that way. So what's a girl to do, you say? Count beds individually. 330 for one, 200 for the other. The third just gives me a general guestimate, which I have no control over. The wrench in the works is that I still don't know all the doctors names. It's hard for me to give an accurate count other than looking up each doctor I don't recognize. Cue the time issue. So it takes me about an hour to do this. Fine. Whatever. They want numbers, I'll give them numbers. Except they keep changing exactly WHAT they want. And they don't even agree with what each one wants individually. So yeah, I'm just sitting tight until my boss gets out of her meeting so I can once again try to narrow down what the hell I should be doing. Once my job kicks into high gear this shit is going to mean diddly squat. Unfortunately it's they've pushed back the start time for me to step in until sometime in mid-August. *twittles thumbs*

It's a Monday...

Monday was a treat. And by treat I mean pain in the ass. It started off with me waiting for the elevator. And waiting. And waiting. Of the four elevators, only two go to the top floor. Guess where I'm located. You betcha! I went to the security desk to see if anyone else had complained and I was the first. Lovely. Meanwhile everyone else kept telling me that the elevators worked. One was sitting on 6 and the other wasn't even showing up. Working my ass... Finally the engineer department opened their eyes and noticed an issue. Twenty minutes later I asked where the stairwell was located. My boss said I could walk a flight if the elevators were too slow. After no one could tell me I said fuck it and ventured out on my own. I figured someone would be able to point me in the right direction. I walked the flight of stares and reached for the knob. Locked. Oh yes, it was turning out to be a lovely day. I went BACK down to the first floor and weighed my options. Unfortunately 'going home' wasn't one of them. I waited for the security guard who was on a call to get back and open the door in the stairwell. By this time three other doctors had gathered around, all waiting to hoof it to the top floor. We walked up, he opened the first door and we ventured onto the roof. And by roof I mean there was only a tiny ledge on the side between us and oblivion. I tried my best not to scream like a little girl. Once safely back inside I opened my office door only to hear the elevator door ring. Sonofabitch...

Later on I made my way to one of the bathrooms and noticed someone didn't flush. I grumbled while trying to flush for them. Nothing. I tried again... Nothing. I made my way to the sink to wash my cup and turned on the water. Nothing. Oh yes, this was just awesome. Once back in my office I called the engineer department.

"Didn't you get the email?"

What email?

"The one that said all water was shut off on your side of the building for an emergency."

No... no I didn't.

Apparently I wasn't added to the list for the new hospital. Oh joy, oh rapture. So now I had to pee and try and figure out where to call so I could be added to the email list. Luckily the outage only lasted an hour or so. Now the people not calling me back for the statistics I need... and then giving me wrong ones so that I look bad for the BBs... THAT is a whole other story. *sigh* I know it will get better... I just want that to be now.

There's One in Every Office

Creepy IT Chick has been replaced with Creepy Librarian. Dude... She's a little bity woman, but her looks alone make my skin crawl. She stood in my office doorway, surveying the area in a slightly unnerving way. Her shoulders were hunched over and her arms hung at her sides as if they didn't work. They hardly swayed even when she moved from side to side. Her facial features were just... odd. Thick arched brows that seemed to be dyed brown with a mouth a little too large to fit her tiny frame. Her teeth were yellow and even larger than her mouth, which made her frozen smile even more unsettling. After my initial shock of looking up to see her I said hello. She turned her body, arms still at her side and asked what was going to be in this room. I forced a smile and said, "Me!" while waiting for her to go away. Instead she nearly slapped her hand to her chest and said, "I'm the Librarian down the hall" as she tried to look in the boxes. I waited. I wanted her to go away. After a moment she asked my name again and then asked one of my family members was Russian. I smiled widely (probably looking freaked out) and told her that I was named after the song by the BeeGees. She said, "Your parents must be interesting. Do you have any siblings? What are their names?" I lied and said I didn't. Chit chat was the last thing I wanted to have with this woman. Usually I can talk to anyone... but she reminded me a little too much of some sort of creepy person who is ignored in the beginning of the horror film only to be the psychopathic killer in the end with a closing scene where she laughs manically while holding up the severed head of a cheerleader that's dripping blood onto her naked body. and she ends up having a penis. Yeah, I watch waaaay too many horror flicks.

Red Team Go! Red Team... oh Wait...

Apparently I'm a tad over zealous. My boss says that a second desk will be needed in case someone else moves into my office at some point and I get another desk. THEN she tells me she was just talking about 'at some point and time'. Meanwhile, the desk they gave me that was sitting in the storage unit is ridiculously big and unnecessary. So now the plan is to wait a week or so and ask for them to remove it. Go me... I'm still in "GO GO GO" mode and everyone else is in standby. Unfortunately my job is supposed to kick into high gear on the 30th and we have dick in place. Everyone says not to worry. Everyone says there's a plan B. Plan B doesn't involve me which means I'll be waiting for mid July until we can switch to Plan A. I want to push but know that it's not good when your boss is the one opting for Plan B. Unfortunately the BBs are not going to be happy. It all boils down to paperwork and that is not acceptable on their level. Personally it isn't on mine either... but I digress.

What I HAVE accomplished impressed the hell out of my boss. This is a good thing. She likes that I am quick and resourceful. She likes that I am friendly and have already managed to get to know the people we depend on. My friend met with her yesterday and she said I was doing a fantastic job. Yay! She aint seen nothing yet.

Paging Dr. Ross

Oh that's awesome. I just learned that my new phone number is an old back line for the emergency room. And how did I learn this? Besides the more than 20 messages on my voice mail, that is. I've been getting sporadic calls from various departments all day. HAH! Usually they'd say a quick 'Oops! Sorry, wrong number' and hang up. Finally I stopped someone long enough to tell me. Oh well... it's one way to get to know the people that work here. The other way is by me asking for stupid things. Like an engineer to come all the way up to the 9th floor just to tell me there's a knob underneath the keyboard tray to move up upward... and that's the most it will go. I swear I didn't see that damn thing. Oh well, it sucks that they can't move the tray any higher. I'll make sure I get one that works properly when they install my new desk. *looks at boxes in corner* The operative word here is 'when'.

These Heels WereNT Made for Walking

I walked seven blocks to the other hospital I will be working with and seven blocks back... and my feet are fucking killing me. Two inch heels should NOT be that hard to walk around in. Now that I'm in 'business attire' low heeled shoes just don't look right with my outfits. Changing into sneakers isn't an option when you are walking from one place of business to another. What am I going to do... change shoes in the waiting area before a big meeting? Riiiight.

The plus side is... I'm finally starting to walk more. I put on a couple of comfort pounds over the last two months and need to get those off pronto. Since Jake is also on a diet for his weight lifting forum contest it's the best time to jump in and support each other. We've both been lagging in that area and need to really bounce back. Now that Jake is on summer vacation from school it's the best time. Ironically enough I don't get home much earlier. We'll see now that I don't have to walk the extra four blocks to get to my car it might make a difference. If not... Meh. I'm still not stuck on the 405 or Sepulveda Blvd. From Hell to heck, that's how I see it.

Right to the Top

The good news is my new parking structure is literally across the street from the hospital instead of four blocks, like my old parking in Westwood. The bad news is that it's so fucking small I have roof parking at 7:45am. My other choice is to stack park (fat chance) so yeah... it's a trade off. So far the office is coming together nicely. I was told we could get a handy man out to install the desk instead of waiting for Office Max to get it right, so I'm happy about that too. Also, my computer arrived (YAY!) and I should have it by Thursday. It looks like I'll be up and running by the end of this week. *hops around* With all the goofs and delays you'd think I would be more upset... but everyone here has been so nice and so supportive that I can't help but feel like it's going to be alright. In short: this is going to be an awesome job.

Things I Love About My New Office

My Temporary Spot
Originally uploaded by j00wish

Uhhhhh... EVERYTHING! I don't care that there's a smudge on the wall or that the windows are dirty (how often do they clean nine stories up). I don't even care that the temporary chair is set for munchkin height because the temporary desk is so low Billy Barty would sit here with no problems. It's roomy and more importantly... I don't have the two BBs of my department breathing down my neck. Right now it's all mine (eventually I'll have someone else working with me) and I've got a window view of Santa Monica that can't be beat. Plus... the house staff is right next door and they are uber nice. Everyone here is. Oh yeah... and they're not here that often so the whole floor is relatively quiet (they have a conference room but keep the doors closed). I can always close my door and eat in peace or listen to music without disturbing anyone. I'm just amazed at how different this hospital is from the main one. The atmosphere is calmer, the doctors are more laid back... and everyone is just more pleasant in general.

They've ordered me a beeper so I am going to be attached at the hip. Even that is cool beans. I am just enjoying the hell out of myself. Being away from the BB's office is a HUGE relief. Soon I'll be able to set up my desk and then when my computer comes I should be able to do more online. I just don't want to risk it with the temporary one. If all else fails I'll get the laptop and just do my own thing. I'll have my own printer, copier and mini refrigerator. Plus they're ordering a water cooler for me. I just want to pinch myself. I know once I go into high gear I'll be panicking (unless they actually give me instructions on what to do... ha ha). But it will still be something new and exciting and a totally different atmosphere. Plus... I LOVE MY NEW BOSS! She took Friday off to go surfing. How cool is that? Pretty fucking cool, that's what.

Oh Yeah....

I loathe when people know that I'm waiting for something and neglect to tell me the status until its an afterthought. I am waiting for the furniture guys to call so I can set up a time to be at my office. I have a feeling it's going to be one of those 7-12/1-5 deals. Whatever. I'll be at my new office and out from the microscope of my two BBs. I've been tying not to drive the assistant crazy (and failing miserably) about all my orders. Up until now all I've gotten was 'don't worry' whenever I asked. Then the shit started falling apart and he had to scramble. the computer? Yeah, that baby's not being shipped until June 30th. That means it won't get here until after July 5th and then won't be ready by the IT people before July 15th. So of course I've been asking whenever I could about all my things. The latest was stopping him in the hall about my furniture. "Oh yeah... the chair is on back order". WTF!?! I was sooo unhappy. I wanted to scream, but all I could do is breathe deeply and smile when he said his usual 'don't worry'. Fuck that shit. I was born to worry. I'm an Italian Irish Jew. Worrying and guilt is in my blood. it's what I do best. Plus, if I don't get out from this office and kick this job into gear it's going to be a tougher sale once we go into high gear and they need me... like yesterday.

Oh sure...

So I got my first email from my old boss. Apparently she wanted to know if I remembered when I last ran a report that had April as the most recent dates generated. Seriously. After having a chuckle I sent her back a thinly veiled sarcastic remark telling her that she should probably go by the dates on the program and explaining to her how the program works. I also added that I was 'sorry for the late response, but I was on vacation'. You know, because I'm an asshole. Her email made some vague remark about us supposedly running the report weekly, which is utter bullshit. We haven't ran that report weekly since the move to LAX... seven years ago. I didn't have the energy nor the interest in getting into some bitch fest over something I could give a shit about so I ignored that part. Considering she's going to be on vacation for the most of June I probably won't be hearing much from her. I'm hoping she deals with the fact that she ignored me for a month and now has no information regarding what I did and how I did it. I feel sorry for all my friends who are going to suffer the wraith once she gets back, but not enough to lift a finger and do two jobs. I just hope they can deal with it long enough to get the hell out.

Meanwhile back at the ranch... word is that I may be going to my new office on Thursday. More later...

When Push Comes to Shove

On Friday I walked into a volley of questions that ultimately got the ball rolling in my favor. At first it seemed as if the shit had hit the pan and I was smack dab in the middle of said pan. I am sitting in an office with two doctors. One who I call the Big Boss (BB) and the other who, up until Friday, was simply a nice guy who shared the area. On Friday the other doctor (BB2) walked in and started firing off questions about what I was doing to get my job started and why it hasn't started yet. Telling him I was waiting for the computer, furniture, etc... just didn't sound good enough. Then he hit me with a huge round of information that basically said my job had totally changed and the third hospital I was dealing with was fucking with their end of the deal. I wanted to cry. Even his assistant commented on his tone. He ended it saying we were all going to have a meeting at noon. It was over in a minute, but not before I left the office reeling and wondering about how this job was going to be. I called my boss and told her the whole scenario, talking a mile a minute. I was frustrated and not happy with being put on the line without any information to give. I've been so patient about the situation up until now. But it's coming down to the wire and I don't want to fail because someone didn't do their job. She was still very confident, saying this was just what we needed to show them that one: it wasn't going to be as easy as they had thought and two: we needed some big guns to push people into gear. We talked about how the job structure was not in place and that I couldn't even discuss my job at this point. "What am I supposed to do... vaguely promise doctors that I'll take care of everything without telling them how?" She agreed and again stressed that this was what we needed to get the rules into place. She also explained how my position came to be and who is over me. FINALLY. BOTH doctors had created my position, so I was basically sitting between the two BBs. Then there's the Medium Boss (MB) who they asked to get someone to do the job. She approached my boss to create the details and do the hiring. Afterwards she decided my boss would continue to be my immediate boss (thank goodness). Have I confused you yet?

I went back to my temporary home and my boss called the MB. The MB called BB2's assistant and asked if my boss should be included in the meeting. He said no and I wanted to scream. Instead I shot off a ton of emails to get any and all information about the status of everything... and started making reports to show where we were. A few minutes later my MB's assistant called and asked if I could meet with her for a moment. I went over there expecting the worst. Instead she basically excused me from the noon meeting, saying there was no need for me to be there, and said if there was information that I needed to know than she'd call a meeting with me and my boss. No fucking problem!

A half hour before the meeting my boss called me to her office. I was over there within a heart beat. Anything to get me away from the front line. We met and talked for a while, then she told me to go to lunch and we'd meet afterwards. She was having a meeting with the MB about what was discussed and would talk to me. After lunch we met again and my job had changed. Instead of admitting for three hospital sites I'm going to admit to one. She said not to worry, that I was going to be busy from the get go. Oh great. Hopefully the 'get go' will happen AFTER I get my fucking computer and furniture. Then she sent me on an errand and told me to take the rest of the day off.

The job is still awesome. The people are still awesome. I know that once everything is in place I'll be fine. Even the BB2 is nice. He was hit with some major news and didn't have the information in place to back up where we were. No problem. Now everyone's pushing for the computer, furniture, etc... so I can start my position. Something they *should* have done in the first place. The wheels are turning... Weeeee!!!!

Lowest Priority, Baby!

Oh yes, feel the burn. Feel the... excuse. I want shit done. I want to be in my office, with everything installed and doing my job. But right now everything is on the low priority list because the Hospital is moving to the new building. Everyone is pulling their hair out, trying to get ready. The 'To Do' list is a mile long for each person and everyone has a sort of 'this is insane' look on their face. I just want my fucking computer so I can move. I don't care if I sit on the floor at this point. Everyone says the same thing. 'The move is pushing everything back'. So then I get pissy. 'You mean Dell is moving?' I don't see how an outside vendor has anything to do with our move. All they have to do is deliver the damn thing. Then I have to wait for the IT people to configure it and load the software. THAT'S when I'm screwed. The longer it takes for them to deliver the computer, the closer it is to the move. The closer it is to the move, the lower on the priority list configuring my computer is going to be. Considering we can't do shit until the computer is here, they're not even going to order my furniture until then. So that means that once again I'll be on a priority list of shit things to do. The worst part? The BB moves to the new hospital in a week. So this means I have a week to push everyone to get my shit done... or have to deal with finding another space to sit and look busy. You know... like write my rants for the next day while having an intense look on my face. Grrrrr.... <--intense face noise

Vroooom, Baby!

I'm back at work and raring to go. I had five (count em... FIVE) days of fun filled rest and relaxation. Jake was wonderful and took over the main site as far as rants are concerned and I just fucked off as far as chatting and anything else was concerned. Go me! Things are starting to come together as far as my office is concerned which is fabulous. My new computer, fax, printer and everything else is on it's way. The only thing left is for me to have it installed so I can get my ass out of here and not be in everyone's way. The BB has been very kind, but I know seeing me here all day isn't great. He wants things to get going... the only trouble is they need to be ironed out. My cell phone was delivered last week, which is a big step. I still need to get my phone line in so my cards can be made. Plus, they still need to set down the main rules. I can't even say exactly how I go about admitting a patient, which is a HUGE deal. They want me to jump into my job, but the job isn't even ironed out. Oy. My boss told me not to even worry about it, but it's hard not to. I am so used to the security of knowing exactly what I need to do that this is pretty unnerving. Don't get me wrong, everything is running smoothly... just not where I'd want it to be before I can take a deep breath and start my job comfortably. I *should* be in my new office in about a week. Woo hoo! Once that happens I think it will be much better.

I got to have lunch with an old friend yesterday. It was so good to see "E". Most of it was spent reminiscing about who's still around and the usual office gossip. From the looks of things I got out of my job in the Operating Room just in time. We also updated each other on our current personal lives and basically shot the shit for an hour. "E" and I used to hang out a lot and went to dinner all the time. I miss talking to him, so it was a nice surprise. Ironically he hasn't changed a bit. It's good to be back... *grins*

Closer....

This morning I went to see my new office. Awesomeness! First things first. The drive was about ten minutes. That was with me driving around the block once to find the damn parking attendant. yay for obscure areas. my NB called me a half hour later (when she was supposed to be there) and said she was on her way. No problem. I was just happy to be able to see the place. When she arrived we hustled up to the ninth floor and waited for the security guy to show up. He arrived and simply opened the door. So yeah, we looked kind of stupid. What ever. The office is big! Also, at least two windows worth of an ocean view. The desks were scratched up and the one desk didn't match, but I could give a shit. I have my own office. W00t! We talked about cell phone VS beeper and I said whatever she wanted was fine. If it ends up being a hassle (or I end up using my phone more) then I'll revisit the issue. Right now I'm just happy to have my own fucking office. It'll be about a week before everything is set up. So yeah, a week more of sitting around and twiddling my thumbs. Today I go computer access (go me!) so I am happy.

Speaking of computer access... the tech set up my computer with Outlook this morning. Imagine my embarrassment to see emails from Fredrick's of Hollywood popping up. Yeah, all class. Thankfully the IT person didn't say anything. Of course my 'Oh great... spam' comment was so fake it could have been a pair of tits.

First Hurdle Ahoy!

After sitting around and twiddling my thumbs for two and a half hours my NB introduced me to more of the staff. We went over what I needed in the office, etc... and things like "How many ports do you need" were thrown at me. How the hell should I know is what I wanted to say. Instead I smiled and said, "Huh?" Yeppers, I'm quick on my feet. I'll bet they were real impressed with me. The regular cell phone VS Blackberry is still up in the air. Personally I could care less. I have a Treo and the smaller the phone the better. It's not like I'm living outside of my office. With an ocean view I might spend the night (just kidding Jake)!

Afterwards I contacted a woman in admissions to set up a meeting. I wanted to do a sort of meet and greet introduction. That way I could learn more about her functions and hopefully share what I do. Mind you, this is still with a hazy understanding of what the hell my job is. My BB described this woman as "Sweet, soft spoken and shy". Riiiight. I don't know what kind of drugs she was on when they spoke, but they obviously wore off by the time I entered the room. Instead, I was greeted by a high strung, defensive woman who basically all but said my job was a waste of time. After twenty minutes of brow beating and belittling I had had enough. I simply agreed that she needed to really talk to BB about my job since he had a clear vision of what it should be and explained more of what my function was. She went from "Your job is useless" to "Hey! That means we can dump a bunch of crap on you. Cool!" After nipping THAT little misconception in the bud she rushed me out so she could meet with another big boss (who she named dropped several times) at a meeting across the street. I didn't even mention that I had worked with that boss for years. I stayed behind and learned about the system they use (very cool). Five minutes later the other big boss walks in hopping mad. Apparently she fucked up and didn't read the room number they were meeting in. It was across the hall. He even said "Again?" when told she went across the street. Smooth.

I went back to my temporary spot (no phone or computer access) and chatted with BB's assistant. She's a complete doll and told me the scoop of some of the people. Yay for office gossip! I also called my NB and told her what happened with the meeting. She said she figured as much and it was more of a fact finding mission than anything. Too bad the woman was so nervous that I'd derail her job to give me many facts. Later on BB came out and said that he was going to meet with the Admin woman and explain my function. I said, "I met with her and she had some concerns" and left it at that. I'll let them duke it out and do whatever is decided.

Being back at UCLA is like coming home to the Mother Ship. I really missed the hustle and bustle of the place. So far I've seen eight people from the past (including the other big boss) and I feel like I'm finally home. So far everyone has had a laid back "It'll get worked out eventually" attitude. I think I'm so used to my OB's gloom and doom approach that I haven't been about to appreciate this new pace. I went from "Now Now NOW!" to "Eh. It'll work out. Just hang in there and have some more coffee." I could totally get used to this.

Second day finished. Accomplishments: This blog. Go me!