I was going to respond to the comments my previous post in the comment section, then went a tad overboard. Besides, it's easier to read here and I look like I'm updating. :P

Two everyone who commented on the previous post: Thank you all for the kind words. *hugs* How ironic that the people I actually say made my time on the web worth it commented. I'm just so frustrated with nothing working. It's more about everything that I like is not what any NCTers like. Someone suggests I start an NCT Flickr group, then it dies. I suggest other things that interest me, but no one takes a second look. I'm out of ideas at this point. It's also my disilusion with meeting people. Between the jerks who sign on with one thing in mind: Insults... to the person who vows to be a friend to the end and is no where to be seen.

Thaum1el: You're not a lousy poster. I'd rather have someone post when they see something that interests them than ten thousand LOLs. You also start new threads, which I have always been grateful for. You're one of the sweetest guys I know.

Dynamitt: Sweet sweet Dyna. Heart of gold. I don't mind if Imeem is not for you. It's not like I am basing my friendship on people who sign up, I just wanted people to like the same things as I do. If people don't then it's not their fault... but I am lost at who to share what I like with, you know?

Jules: Cow. I kid. I kid. I know you're busy. Hell, I helped to get a lot of that 'busy' over to you. Now two friends are together and two members are AWOL. Hehe. Seriously though... You're always there for me and understand what I'm saying.

Dustin: (Everyone, this is Dustin. A great guy I met at IMEEM.) I can't imagine you not having lifelong friends banging at the door. You're such a good guy who knows just what to say. I'm not sure of what I will be doing on the web in the future, but I won't go completely off of it. I'd miss my friends too much. Especially the ones who commented here. They've always been wonderful.

Al: You know, you're the only person who took the Moderator title and didn't leave. I was beginning to think that it was a curse. You're also a wonderful and honest guy who I look forward to seeing in person. *hides pity pot* I know... I shouldn't be so down about it. But this isn't just a tantrum. I've been feeling this way more and more. Hell, I made NCT to be cheered up when I felt all was lost. That's why it hurts so bad. It shouldn't be the place that lets me down... or makes me feel like doing a chore by updating it. But the echoes get me to me. I simply don't know where to go with NCT anymore. Part of it is knowing I don't have any more time to devote to it than I already give. Like I told Dustin on his Imeem blog: Dreams hurt when they're something that is always just out of reach. That's when I start to question if it's worth dreaming.

Wow. That was a fast three day weekend. We didn't do much, but it was nice just the same. I've been a tad on edge lately with a lot of personal things swirling around but it's at least starting to look a lot brighter. If I can only get over my writers block everything will be peachy keen. I never dreampt I'd get to a point where the words failed me. It's against my gender or something like that.. Yet here I am, trying to think of new and clever things to say for my rant tomorrow. I keep telling myself the words will come. What if they don't?