I woke up on time only to mess around and be late out the door. After the usual flurry of getting ready and waiting for Jake I managed to zip past few the slow spots (all two miles of it) and make it to work just in time. From there it was all put on hold. Police cruisers blocked the street and I had to walk around them. After getting upstairs Mr Nosy asked, "Did you see the body?" We looked out the window and across the street lay the body of a woman, covered by yellow tarp. Around her and on the parking garage above police walked around, surveying the area. Crime Scene tape flapped gently around the body and people walked a little slower to see if they could catch a glimpse of the deceased. I looked to the stairwell across from us and there were people standing there, coffee mugs in hand. One last show from a person who didn't want to go on. She parked her car, made some steps from boxes she found and lept to her death. Such a sad ending, regardless of the circumstances.

Times are tough. The holidays always make it tougher. I remember sitting at home all alone and crying on too many occasions. My choice, but it was still a hard one. Being on the edge of the abyss is so easy. One step. One leap. One movement. One last pain and it all goes away. No more fear. No more anger. No more loneliness. No more pain. It's the easy way out and yet so many take it. I wonder if this person reached out to anyone, or had anyone to reach out to. Sometimes it's the littlest things that mean so much. A smile. A hello. Asking how someone is and then actually listening when they say it's not okay. I remember being in so much pain and reaching out. Someone said, "Don't worry, it will get better." It was as if they were saying "I didn't want to know how you felt, I just wanted to be polite while walking past you." Fair weather friends are worse than enemies at times. At least your enemy wants to know your condition.

When you walk outside today remember that there are people hurting. Sometimes a simple smile and acknowledgment is what will get them through one more day. This woman probably died because there wasn't a connection strong enough to keep her going. Sadly there is a connection now.

Everyone has been so stressed out because of elections. Then there's the after election stress. Those who voted for Obama are elated VS those who voted for someone else who... aren't. Then there's the people on both far ends of the spectrum that fuck it up for the rest of us. No, Obama is not the first or second coming. He's not the anti-christ either. He's a politician who worked his way up and after ten years made his case to the American people that he could do better. Considering Bush has the LOWEST approval rating since the rating system was created (thank you CNN) it's not that hard. In the end we should be working to get this nation back on it's feet and not sniping each other about what was done. Seriously, this shit is getting old and we as a nation can't handle much more stress. Let the healing begin.

One of the Sims2 sites I go to had a thread that brought tears to my eyes. The site is centered around Gay Simmers and everyone is really nice. The thread in question was a guy talking about how he was trying to find a way to tell his Italian Catholic mother that he was gay and how his family reacted to them finding out. From there other members shared their stories. To live a life where you are made to feel different is just so beyond me. But to not even be able to share your life with your family just aches. Imagine knowing that being honest about who you are could destroy the love that you were brought up by. One man spoke of how he heard his father crying and it still tears at him. It doesn't matter how successful these men will be. They will always be looked at as being *gay*. The gay son. The gay politician. It's one step away from pink triangles being sewn to their clothing. For some the triangles are already there... sewn in by family and friends. When you judge others you are judging yourself... just remember that.

Unforgiven and I were talking about a troll who posted about their town getting back to Christian values and shops closing on Sundays. He went on to offer the businesses that were open up for review by their council to see who would stay open. As a coupe de grah he said their also shouldn't be any drinking on Sunday, G-d's day of rest. To say the least, I wasn't amused. What about the non Christians who live in their town? Should they be made to stay home and act like Christians too? He also stated that they shouldn't drink on Sundays either. Riiight. Armchair bible thumpers are the worst. they preach to the Heavens about what's right and wrong without knowing the actual answers.

I have lived this way my whole life. Part of me feels guilty for not following my religion more. Frankly, I can't afford to take off during Jewish holidays and my job doesn't work on Christian ones. I don't protest (to them) and respect their holidays. I don't bitch about decorations unless they expect me to put them up. All in all I think I'm pretty fair about the whole 'not my religion but you have fun' stance. It only gets me riled when some moron decides to preach about how we should be following Christian ways, blah blah blah... as a society. Some people see it as a harmless albeit insensitive gesture. To me, it's an insult. Not only to myself, but to my friends who are also non Christians. Be they Jewish, Muslim, Atheist or other... they deserve the respect of not having to volley insensitive comments about living their life. I'm not asking for much. I don't want the society to be sooo PC that you can't say 'Boo' without offending a Satanist. I just want a little common sense used when asking for changes that affect society as whole, and not just your local Church goers.

JakeD is still getting over walking pneumonia and I am (hopefully) getting over this fucking cold soon. We ventured out to the Toyota dealership this weekend for an oil change and hung out while it was being done. We joked around with one of the workers there (who was black). He was really nice and tried pushing the mechanics who were working on our car to finish faster. An older man arrived to pick up his car wearing a UCLA teeshirt. Even though the sleeves weren't that long he tried rolling them over to give some sort of half assed muscle shirt look. Plus, it showed his tats. The Toyota worker greeted the man and mentioned his UCLA shirt. The guy responded with, "Yeah! You probably went to the University of South Central, right?" The only sounds were jaws dropping on the ground. I told JakeD to cover his UCLA jersey that he was wearing as I stared at the man in utter disbelief. The Toyota guy politely said no and the guy's car arrived. POS beat up blue car. Fitting...

The ignorance of people never ceases to amaze me. They scream to the heavens about racial profiling in the police force, yet our society is one of it's biggest offenders. I'd be lying if I said I never did it. But the difference is acknowledging it and realizing that it's wrong.

Another group of kids are in the news for brutally murdering a homeless man. What does this say about our society? Another kid arms himself and shoots up a mall full of people. What does this say about our rules. I am not a parent. But someone had these kids. There has to be SOME connection between the violence and their upbringing. Some blame music, some blame the movies. Others point their fingers at video games. Those groups point to the parents who in return point to the teachers. All I see is a circle of blame around some pretty violent people being let loose on society. Where do we stop with the blame and start trying to find the problem? Most of the issue is about money. No matter where the finger is pointed, someone's going to lose some cash. As society buries the innocents we need to start making a plan of action. Where would YOU start?

But I'm about to do a 'feminist' type post. I am always leery of doing them because too many people with that mindset bring in the men hating attitude that I loathe. Anyway...

I have no background on this picture of Bush attempting to give German Chancellor Angela Merkel an impromtu massage, but the picture speaks for itself. It looks like she politely stretched to get him to stop, a move I have done many times before. It's disrespectful. It's inappropriate. It's just the kind of thing I'd expect him to do. Women are still barely breaking the glass ceiling to get into politics. It's a tough route and you have to be twice the politician your male counterpart is. Bush deciding to be touchy feely in the middle of a political summit is one step away from asking her to get his coffee. When I worked in the Operating Room I had quite a few frisky doctors try giving me a backrub. I consider that a personal space and should know you pretty damn well before your fingers start rubbing my back. I've had a few try sliding their hands down my top, too. Obviously that wasn't Bush's intention... so don't even go there. Think of it this way... someone is touching you without your permission. Guys will way it's 'just a rub'. Women may understand a little more. Men OR women shouldn't think it's okay to just reach out and place their hands on people. Is this a big deal? No. But it got a rant out of me, so be happy...

CNN: Women's obesity rate levels but men, kids getting fatter.ccording to the government's most accurate recent check of the nation's girth, U.S. men and children are increasingly tipping the scales. But the obesity rate among women -- who at 33 percent are heavier as a group -- held steady.

The study didn't examine why men and children are getting fatter and women aren't. But some experts think the leveling off in women could signal a turning point in the nation's obesity epidemic.

Americans are fat. We're fat. Who do you know someone who DOESN'T mention needing to lose a few pounds? When our normal food intake is twice what most people in other countries eat you know we have a problem. I remember going to Sweden and ordering a steak. I couldn't believe the difference. I asked what was wrong with it and my friend laughed, saying, "We don't inject crap into our cows. You are simply eating the beef as it is supposed to be." How embarrassing. By the time I was ready to go home I was craving an American burger. CRAVING. That's not a good thing. When you can drive by a fast food place and know exactly what their burger tastes like it's time to re-examine your eating habits. A nurse at work commented how our 'American fast food restaurants' abroad gave other countries the health problems we suffer. Not something I'm proud of. We're also lazy. For the most part we have decent weather and yet choose to drive everywhere. In Europe they ride bikes, walk or even do a half walk/half ride the public transit.

What concerns me most about this article is the children. They're weighing in heavier each year. That means a lifetime of health problems and issues. The parents set the tone. I don't give a shit how much little Johnny whines about wanting a Happy Meal. You are the parent. Instead of belittling the child, take them to a park. Drag them to an Amusement park. Get them walking. If you see your kid starting to get pudgy it's time to examine what you feed them and how much exercise they do. I'm not talking dieting or cutting out the ice cream man. I'm talking about a conscious effort to do the right thing. Get off of your fat ass and work it, girl! Or guy. Whatever.

"In the course of my life I have very often been a prophet, and have usually been ridiculed for it. During the time of my struggle for power it was in the first instance only the Jewish race that received my prophecies with laughter when I said that I would one day take over the leadership of the State, and with it that of the whole nation, and that I would then among other things settle the Jewish problem. Their laughter was uproarious, but I think that for some time now they have been laughing on the other side of their face. Today I will once more be a prophet: if the international Jewish financiers in and outside Europe should succeed in plunging the nations once more into a world war, then the result will not be the Bolshevizing of the earth, and thus the victory of Jewry, but the annihilation of the Jewish race in Europe!"

Adolf Hitler - January 30, 1939

I grew up learning about the Holocaust. The pictures of the horrors that happened will haunt me forever. While Jews were the primary target there were many others who suffered the same fate. My father said that I am shown these horrors so that we remember and it does not happen again (to anyone). Sadly enough it has happened over and over. I wonder if we will ever learn from the mistakes of hatred unchecked.

You don't have to be Jewish to learn from this lesson... just human. Take a moment and look at the Holocaust Timeline. Take care when calling someone 'the enemy' until you understand the reasons behind it.

Shalom

I managed to go 3 days without being called into Jury Duty. Last night I forgot to call and woke up at 2am in a panick. Sure enough... They called my group number in. Now I have to go in and sit all day to see if they call me on a trial. Guilty!!!!!

It's amazing how time heals wounds. The first anniversary of 9/11 was horrible. I cried the whole day. This year, I feel a great sadness and so far no tears. It's the memories and the effects that crush me. I am a different person because of it. In some ways, a better one. The American bubble was burst and the world flowed in. We are not indestructible. The saddest part is the people who refuse to accept the world around us are the ones causing the greatest damage. I never realized the hatred for Americans that has been brewing for so long until 911. The hardest part is view how others view you... and see similarities. I have tried to change some of my ways, but it's been a hard road to walk down. All around me are people blinded by the word 'patriot' and refuse to evolve globally.

I think my boyfriend pretty much summed up my feelings for the day:

I can't believe that they're having that bullshit "America Supports You Freedom Walk". If there's any worse way to make a mockery of a tragic event, I haven't seen it. It's like having a barbecue to commemorate the Holocaust - you just don't even fucking do it.

Remember with love. Remember with respect.

Shalom

What I find ironic is how many churchgoers hot foot it over to the nearest deli after service. Could it be that they're filled with spirituality and are seeking their religious roots? Or does sitting through a long sermon make you crave a good pastrami sandwich? I only ask because the wait at Juniors Deli was so dang long on Sunday that I tought we were going to see Christ arrive. Or revisit depending upon your religion. Whatever. I never got my Pastrami sandwich. I'm not saying that delicatessens are Jews only. It's just that so many gentiles go on about Sunday being their day of rest, close the shop, bla bla bla... Then they get hungry. Oh no, they're closed? Where will we eat? What comes next is, "I'm sorry. The wait will be 45 minutes. Would you like to sit.. Er.. Stand in our waiting area until we call you?" You want the stores closed because some Pope felt Saturday 'just wasn't working' and changed it to Sunday? Fine. Eat at home. Rest already! It's not like G-d came down and said, "Really? No good? Let me get my calendar out... Huh? Oops, you're right. I need the 'revised one' for you. Tuesday? No? Hmmmm. Sunday'll work. It's only a day after. They can schlep around for another day. Done!"

Everyday I see some good in my life. Good deeds, kind words, common courtesy. And every time I see this phenomena, the same thing happens... Absolutely fucking nothing. A man opens the door and the woman walks in. Does she say thank you? G-d forbid. Honey, Women's lib is a bunch of crap. Another good idea gone astray by Fembots from hell. Equal rights? I'm all for em. But what the hell does a man opening a door for a woman have to do with equal rights? I've held the door open for both genders. It's respect. Did I save them from some unholy task of opening the door themselves? Would they be stranded outside if I hadn't? No. What's in it for me? Nothing. That's right boys and girls, I actually did something for nothing. Or... did the smile on their face give me something back? I'm talking about Karma. I believe in that force more than I believe in the boogieman. When you do something bad.. Sometimes it slaps you right back. But sometimes, sometimes it waits. While other people may see it as a sign of luck, I know better. Because karma accumulates. When that sucker finally comes around, it'll bitch-slap you into oblivion. I don't want to be anywhere near when that force explodes. I've seen it happen too many times. Just think happy thoughts and don't let the assholes get to you.