After FINALLY getting my DSL back up and running we were off to vacation. Figures... Let me do a re-cap:

The 4th of July was spent on the phone with Verizon Online Support. That's right, I spent my day off fucking around with my computer. After a few hours we finally located the problem: My boyfriend is a dork. Instead of hooking up the modem to the router he just hooked it up to my computer, then hooked the router to an empty cord. After realizing the blunder it was pretty easy to reset the router and get both computers back online. Then came the speed test. It was not as fast as they claimed it would be so I waited for a half hour to get a call back about that. I was told that I actually COULD get the 3mb speed and they were going to work on it. Meanwhile I'm trying to find the pricing difference to see if I really wanted it. I get the call back that my speed is now at the maximum. I was just so relieved that I didn't bother asking about the billing.

We spent the rest of the holiday relaxing at home and nixed the holiday crowd. Holidays suck balls when they are right in the middle of the week. Your day off is the night before and you can't enjoy the holiday because you know work is the next day. Add to the fact that we only had one computer online and this holiday was less than festive. The only good part is I took Friday off to go to San Diego so I came back for one day and was off again.

Part 2 tomorrow: San Diego here we come!

On Friday I got a call from the Verizon Complaint Center at the Corporate office. A nice lady talked to me about my ordeal and tried to get the ball rolling. First, the Modem was STILL not sent because they were using my PO Box to send it. It was down to the wire and I finally decided to buy the fucking thing myself and she agreed to credit my account. One little detail: I had to find a store that sold the type they suggested. After calling around I found a Verizon store who agreed to sell me the modem after reminding me it usually comes with a deal. Gee... thanks. I took off early and bought the damn thing ($60) which they billed. After setting it up we were back online. Of course that's not the end of it. Now I have to send back the other Modem that should arrive this week and wait until tonight or tomorrow to see what speed I can even get with my lines. Two more days and I *hope* it will be the last I will have to talk with Verizon for a long while.

I have no internet connection. *cries* Here's my saga...

Last week I called my DSL/Cell phone/telephone company about my bill. $200 a month was just too much with everything going on, especially when $70 of it was to my telephone line, which I never use. After talking to a guy who told me I should be getting some Triple Freedom discount for using all their products I mentioned that my DSL plan was still on the 768kb download speed and I hated how I couldn't get a faster speed. "Of course you can!" said the cheerful employee. "You can get 3mb on a newer relay." Heart be still... And since I was on the OLD DSL setup I was only able to get the Double Freedom discount (whatever) but they could switch me over and all would be better. Of course, there would be a three to five day downtime of internet access... *choke* From that point on it has been a complete nightmare. Here's the timeline of errors for posterity:

6/15/07:

* I spoke with a nice guy who said I would be able to get a Triple bundle discount if I upgraded my DSL from the Relay Frame (old kind) to the ATM Frame (newer kind). I said sign me up! And he transfered me to the DSL section. Only downside: 3 to 5 days without connection

* I end up in the Philippines. Another nice guy listens to what I want and says he will put in the order. They will send me a new modem (for free) since mine is ancient and I will get a call the next day about my order. He says no downtime is involved.

* I get home and a nice gal from tech support says she checked the line and doesn't see the problem I reported. I explain the situation and she says to call tech support and make sure the order is still on.

* I call Tech support and a nice guy says all is well and to expect a call tomorrow. Yippee!

* No call happens.

06/19/07:

* I call the DSL department and talk to a so so guy who tries talking me out of getting the upgrade. At least a week of down time, closing account and opening new one, blah blah... If you're happy with the speed stick with it. Oh, and no order was placed.

* I say fuck that but ask to be transfered to tech support anyway. I end up in India. Some nice woman with a shitty connection reads from a script and puts me on hold for 3 minutes/4 minutes/eight minutes for each question asked. I finally ask to speak to the person she's asking the questions to. She hurries me off the line, saying the order has been placed and that someone will call me to answer all my questions. I try to explain that I don't want ANYTHING done until I find out what the realistic downtime will be and she tells me someone else will tell me. She hangs up.

06/20/07:

* A nice guy who's local calls me to ask what the line problem is and I bite my tongue. I tell him the WHOLE story and he says I won't have any downtime, but I also won't have a faster service without ordering it. The only plus is that I can have the option to get a faster service on the new system. After explaining the way it works he tells me he has to call me back in about ten minutes because he is having some problems with ordering the new modem. I cheerfully say 'no problem!'

* Ten minutes later the guy calls back to say he can't order it. I can either order it through Verizon or on my own. Afterwards I can be changed. I was NOT amused. I politely (while gritting my teeth) say I think that it should be on them since EVERYONE has said I could get the modem and he asks for a day to work on it. After offering to call customer service and complain he talks me into waiting til tomorrow.

Again... I am NOT amused.

06/21/07:

* IT guy calls back to say that he will be able to send the new modem to me for free... but he doesn't know when. Aparently there's some problem with their system, blah blah blah... and he'll call me back once it's ordered.

* IT guy calls to let me know that the modem is on the way! Then he asks if the PO Box is okay for them to send it to... I say, "It depends. How are you sending it? UPS won't deliver to a PO Box." "I'll have to call you back." *screams*

* ...*siiiiigh* I get home and there is NO internet connection. I call the tech department and get some guy in India who tells me he has to look through the script even though I tell him the answer won't be on there. Then he puts me on hold to ask someone. Eight minutes later he tells me he's still asking and I ask to speak to a supervisor. TWELVE minutes later the only jerky guy I've ever spoken to at Verizon answers. He's stand offish and simply says, 'Yep, they changed it over. Yes, there is a note saying to wait until the 27th. I guess they just ignored it. You'll just have to wait until Tuesday for the modem. You can call billing tomorrow about temporary dial up, but they're closed now'. When I tell him that's unacceptable because we start online classes THIS WEEK he says, 'Tell the teacher Verizon says we're sorry'. Rather than explode I opted to say, 'Oh, this phone call needs to end NOW.' He started to read off the Verizon script then stopped and simply told me to have a nice night. I had my fill. I sat and cried for a good thirty minutes before calling friends for advice.

06/22/2007:

* I call Verizon and push the the first tier of tech support to the dial up section. After giving me all the info he starts to walk me through the set up. That's when I learn I don't have a fucking Ethernet connection. ARGH!!!!! Now I have to buy one and then call back. I also was transfered to the Complaint department where a nice lady listened to my saga and said someone from corporate would be calling me back within four hours (after they open). We'll see...

* I spoke with a woman from the Complaint Department, who was really nice, and I *may* be on my way to being online again. Here's the catch: I have to go out and buy a modem (and they'll reimburse me) or wait until Monday for it to be sent via Next Day Delivery. Apparently the one that was ordered before went into a hold bin because they were trying to send it via UPS to my PO Box. The woman was VERY empathetic and said she would help me until it was finished. She said they would also address the unprofessional comment that the supervisor said. Of course there's always a catch... Best Buy didn't have the Modem they suggested and the Verizon store said that while they have it they can't check to see if they can bill me until I get there. Yeah, fun times... So now I have to leave work 1/2 hour earlier to drive to the store, get the DSL and then call the woman back. After that I have to try and install it before 4:30pm so I can go and pick up JakeD for our movie night.

I had better be able to notice a difference after all this. Fuckers...

Verizon is gonna love me. I did my first call to the help desk for my new phone. An hour and a half later we figured out the problem and configured my email. I also made a new friend. :D

How well do you trust the help desk people? I gave this guy usernames and passwords to three email addresses without even blinking. While we were trying to configure my phone for email I realized the one I was giving him had all the adult photos and videos my friends send to me. After some quick thinking I made a new account just for my phone. How lame is that? For the most part I am usually near a computer at some point during the day. I can't imagine needing another email JUST for road trips. Then again, I can't really explain why I NEEDED to get this phone. *sigh* I need to just stop shopping.

Okay, so I just made out like a bandit. My phone battery is dying (again) and Jake is looking into getting a new phone. The smart thing to do is to both get one, right? Okay, work with me on this. I started looking into PDA/Smart phones for Jake. After looking around I started wanting one. Jake was looking into the Treo 700P or 700W so I started to grill him. What do you need that for? When will you need to do a chart on your phone? The most he could come up with was grocery lists and memos. After trying to talk him out of spending a large amount of money on a phone he didn't need I ended up calling to get one. Yeah, stupid me. I went through the whole deal until we got to the online discount. Apparently you can only use that if you're eligible for a new phone, which I wouldn't be until June 2007. I was looking at the prices for new business. When I went through my profile it showed the full price. $600! No fucking way was I paying that. I thanked the girl for her time and hung up, but not before her suggestion that I go into a store. For some reason she thought they might have some magic wand to make that discount happen. Either that or she was counting on me getting a not so bright employee who wouldn't check protocol. After sulking for a minute or five I grabbed the phone and called up our local Verizon store. I started to stumble through my saga and the guy asked for my info. After a couple of seconds he told me I WAS eligible for the deal and to come on down. I threatening to stalk him if he was wrong, hung up the phone and we were off. Twenty minutes later I was buying a brand new phone that I had no idea as to how to use and really didn't need. Four hours later I have yet to play with it. I have to pry it from my boyfriend's cold, dead hands first.

I finally got new ringtones! I'm still trying to decide which ones I want, but the hard part is over. A special thanks to Howard Forums for posting the work around for Verizon's block on uploading anything you don't pay for. And now... work. Blah.

I got my new phone today!!! What was going to be a *simple* upgrade turned out to be a major purchase. I bought the new LG VX8100 from Verizon yesterday and it arrived today. W00t! I was so excited that I went to Verizon to pick up the extras. I figured I'd buy another charger for the car and be out of there. Riiiiight. $150 later I walked out with the charger and new bluetooth headset. The phone kicks ass, but the bluetooth isn't that great. I'm thinking about taking it back. *sigh* Impulse shopping always seems to bite me in the ass.