So I was driving to work behind some POS Nissan Sentra who couldn't seem to gain enough speed to go faster than 58 mph... in the fast lane. I coped pretty damn well under the circumstances. After muttering to myself I started imagining myself in a very large Monster truck, simply stepping on the gas and smooshing his slow-assed car to bits. All that was left was a tiny square bouncing off of the freeway while his screaming face peers out (Okay, so the truck is also a trash compactor). Then I took a deep breath and simply imagined a giant boxing glove popping out from my car and gently hurling the car forward. My random daydreaming went on for a while, until the idiot decided to slam on their brakes when traffic approached. And by 'approached' I mean about half a mile away. We're not even talking stopped traffic either. A few brake lights, followed by steadily moving traffic. After yelling out a few "WTF!"s I imagined the hand of G-d simply coming down and flicking him off the face of the Earth. Because He'd totally do that. I am one of the Chosen People after all. *looks up and smiles meekly* Let's just hope He has a good sense of humor.

This morning was... fun. I pull up to the first stop sign, do my stop and a woman tries to glide through on my right and go in front of me. I'll have none of that! I turn in front and she's stuck behind me. Whatever. I get to the light, turn right and go on my merry way. I decide to change lanes and see a car flying down the street in said lane. I turn into it anyway (plenty of room for them to slow the fuck down) and it ends up being the same twit. Whatever. I am at the street before turning onto the freeway, which is the usual clusterfuck, and she decides to cut someone off in the next lane and honk at me as she drives by... and then stops. In traffic. Guess what happens next. You betcha. My lane pulls forward and we're side by side. So of course I roll my window down, wave my arm at her and scream, "You wanna say something, bitch!?! You wanna say something.... BITCH!?!" Yeah, one of my finer AND CLASSIER moments I'm sure. She stares forward like a fucking pez dispenser and only slightly waves her hand (not quite a flip off, which is lame) as she drives off. Considering she drives three blocks from my house I'm sure we'll see each other again. Stupid cow. Who gets into bitch fights with random neighbors? Again... stupid cow. If you'll excuse me I have to drag my knuckles up to the keyboard and act civilized again.

People are so fucking stupid. Seriously. When the sun is coming up it's time to flip down the visor. How hard is that? Every morning I make the turn on the 405 South by Hughes Parkway and it comes to a halt. Not because of traffic either... but because every moron driving can't seem to get the grasp of pulling the visor down so they can see when the sun light limits the view. We make the next curve and traffic flies once again. This morning was particularly bad and traffic came to a stop. A pretty sudden one at that. I had to hit my breaks pretty hard, but not enough to panic. That's until I heard the screeching. I looked into the rearview mirror to see some bimbo with a terrified look on her face barreling down on me in her Nissan Sentra. I quickly looked to my left and thanked G-d there wasn't anyone in the carpool lane. I swerved just in time to see her come to a complete stop... beside me. Muther fucker. I was so busy swallowing my heart I couldn't even cuss her out. I was still shaking when I got to work. So yeah... I seriously am counting my blessings today.

We decided to go to Black Angus last night so I could get my chicken fix. It was delicious. While trying to enter the freeway I had to merge with another lane. This bitch decided she wasn't going to let me in, so I rolled down my window, started making a scene and then cut in. She was so pissed that she rode on the shoulder to get two cars ahead of me. Yeah, that's mature. After 20 minutes I finally got my revenge by driving by her. She was stuck behind some slow ass truck, grinding her teeth. Karma: You gotta love it!

Or so I thought... I started to crave this delicious chicken. They were buffalo chicken strips from heaven. It took me an hour to remember where the hell I had them. It's been a while since I had an actual craving, so I was determined to go to Black Angus and chomp on some chicken. Then... it rained. Most people might shrug and see no big deal. Those people don't live in Los Angeles. You spit on the road and cause a five car pile up. People just can't drive in the rain. It took us an hour to drive 2.5 miles. The traffic was insane. The only solace that I had was that I was almost home and they were stuck for at least another hour. Yeah, I'm evil like that.