My dear friend is moving on. Moving past the bullshit, past the ickiness. Past... the DRAMA. Meanwhile I seem to be stuck in some sort of muck that is drowning me. What's worse is that I can't talk to my friend about it. Nor do I want to. He's managed to be in a happier place, filled with new prospects and a better handle on life and himself. He's learned what he needed to and managed to get out relatively unscathed.

Then there's me. StumbleUpon has always been a fun place for me. I've met some wonderful people there and had fun looking through all the different sites. That's how it should be. Along the way I've dodged the silliness that seemed to engulf peoples' lives, destroying what could really be a fun experience. Then again, these same people seemed to revel in it. If there was nastiness to be had, they'd dive right in... then holler like a child when they got bit. Or when someone took the bait. I couldn't help but wonder why someone would dive into what was destined to be a really messy experience. Yet here I am... staring at the bait.

I'm not a bad person, but I'm not perfect in any way. Nor do I EVER claim to be. But when I see someone making false accusations about me it makes my blood boil. That ex-friend who decided to out me? Well he's been making the usual 'poor, pitiful me' posts about being ousted from the place. Meanwhile he was the one that chose to leave. No one was evil to him. Granted, I didn't sugar coat my responses with 'but I wuv u'. That certainly doesn't mean I was nasty to the guy. Oh, and by 'leave' I mean post 'I'm leaving for a while, boo hoo' and then show up the next day.

The main reason I am at this point is that there are people I genuinely like at StumbleUpon. People who I enjoy chatting with. They also are friends with the ex-friend. One of which posted about wishing ill will on those people who 'chased him away'. That really bugged me. More than it should I guess. She doesn't know the whole story. That's the bait. If I jump in to defend my semi anonymous side of things it could get nasty. Most likely he'll say all sorts of lies (if he all ready hasn't) and I'll either be forced to be a part of the StumbleUpon drama that I have come to loathe or leave the place. One thing's for sure. If I do leave it's for good. None of this 'I'm leaving!' Then check for messages every half hour to see who begs for me to stay. *rolls eyes* Hopefully it won't come to that. Any advice, support, words of encouragement is greatly appreciated til this blows over. I need to talk about this with SOMEONE. :p

What started out as a relaxing weekend ended up filled with drama. That friend who decided to post about my weight loss flipped his lid when my other friend (his ex-boyfriend) told him it upset me. While it bothered me I wasn't going to mention it. I know the drama would outweigh the request to remove it. And oh how the drama flowed. I was PM'd at least twelve times, each one saying a different variation of the same thing. I tried my best to nip it in the bud, which worked against me. Apparently he was dead set on having the last word, even if it was irrational and wrong. In the end I woke up to one final PM, and the message that he blocked me. This is third grade stuff here... but I am semi relieved. No more messages, no more accusations, no more 'you talk to him and not me' bullshit. I lost a friend... but gained control of my PM box again.

To the friend who blocked me: Thank you for all your kindness. You've helped me through some tough times. You've been kind to me and I harbor no ill will towards you. Good luck on your life and I hope you find the happiness you need.

/ end friendship

Okay, I am dealing with something on a whole new level of weird. It started out with a comment on my StumbleUpon site.

She's /b/-free. [that's good] Open-minded, and the mentioning of the word, Karma [very good/ ser gute] One of the few people I've encountered tonight who hasn't bashed me for being a ^v^ [good Tao]!!

After asking a few friends what the hell "/b/ free" meant I went to the stumblers' page. They seemed nice enough so I PM'd them to ask what it was. Here is their response:

/b/ isn't such a clearly defined online following, that basically hates anyone who is considered weird. Naturally, furries fall under that category. Since I've taken quite a /b/-ting from these nasty little buggers, I was relieved to find someone who appeared to have no affiliation with /b/. [take my advice; /b/-free is the way to be!^v^

Oooookay. After blinking a few times I was at a loss. I've never spoken to a Furry before. It's not that I have anything against them... I didn't even understand what the hell it was until Unfy sent me that link. I quickly responded:

Oh! I think people should just respect each other's choices and find a common ground. For instance... we both like animals! *smiles* I'm off to bed. Have a good evening!

With that I had hoped to forever close the chapter on my Furry close encounter. Then I get an email about a video I posted on YouTube.

It's a cool video where some rap artists dance and rap while wearing animal costumes. I thought it was cute and I liked the song. Then came the comment:

I have never actually seen Furry Rap before, but now I have. I wonder if the furries have any other music that they can share with us?

*shudders* Furry music? I don't mean to sound insensitive... but WHAT THE FUCK!?! I'm going to go scrub my brain out and pray for non furry dreams. The only thing furry I want to deal with right now is my cats. Oh, and Jake

The one thing that annoys me about StumbleUpon is that there are some people who just love shoving their opinions down your throat. It doesn't happen often, so I usually ignore them. Tonight was different. I had a shitty day at work, a bitch of a drive home and just wanted to relax for a few hours before having to deal with more shit tomorrow. So when I clicked onto my inbox I was looking forward to some friendly hellos from my friends and perhaps a review or two. *cough* What I got was a clearly confused person who either !: Didn't catch on to the username J00wish as being religious or B: Knew I was and was trying to convert me. Either one didn't sit right and I decided to let loose with my PMS on him.

So yeah... leave me alone.

This has been an interesting experience to say the least. I am going on my last week before returning to work and normally scheduled postings. This week I devoted to trying to upgrade NoChickTrix... although I have yet to finalize the test board. I went from 34 hacks to thirty... and have only found 16 that were updated. I loathe having to get rid of some, especially the shoutbox. *sigh* Oh well. The cool thing about the newest VB version is that its easier to install hacks. Plus there are plenty of extras to go through. I dread getting rid of my current front page hack, but I'm tired of waiting for them to update it. Two years is a long time to wait. Yeppers, I waited... Silly me.

I've been so wrapped up in posting on my StumbleUpon site that that I haven't had time to do the things I've been wanting to do on my other sites. That and chatting my little ass off with my friends. <333 HAH! I just looked at my email. I signed up for a site called 25peeps.com to show people my blog a while back and they just said I made it on the site for now. I'll only be on the top as long as people click it... which is interesting. So of course I did this right before surgery so my site would suck ass in the way of posts. *smiles* Oh well... It was an idea.

I have met two new people from SU that have made my day. REALLY made my day. FunkyCaucasian is a fiery woman whose looks are only outdone by her personality. I spent the day chatting with her via PMs and I can tell you... she's incredible. I also met Phoenix3Arisen. A sexy guy with brains and a great sense of humor. SU is finally making up for all the slooooooow time by delivering friends!

In other news... I bitched out our mailguy today. It's a good thing we use the PO Box. He called to be buzzed in and I slooowly put on clothes and went outside. I was hoping for some sort of gift to lift my spirits. Instead I see him head back out the door. I called to him and asked what he had. He said, "Oh, it wasn't for you. I just needed to be let in." WTF!?! Then he asked if I was okay (I looked pretty shitty). I told him I had just had surgery (to lay in on the guilt) and next time try buzzing the door that the package is for. I thought about adding "idiot" at the end then thought better. Yay for grumpiness!

What is up with everything being down on the web today? I woke up feeling like crap and tried SU. Down. I clicked on my Motherload game. Down. I went to lay down for a while and just got up. I tried them again. and got nothing. It's now 2:30 PM and they're BOTH still down. *grumbles* I don't feel well enough to do anything else. Well... except for complain.

At least I feel that way. is a blast to use and I've met some really nice people there. I've also had some annoying people hit on me, which I pretty much ignored. It's the people who aren't quite blatant about it are the ones that are hard to deal with. I have one guy who keeps sending me messages to be my friend. We're talking multiple times a day. I said hello once before looking at his profile. "I'm interested in making friends of different cultures/religion so that I'll know more about the different cultures/religions. I'm more interested in girls/women." Of course you are, big guy. He hasn't even used SU to rate any sites, and he's added 86 people to his "Friends" list and they're all women. Well, except Joepa. But his avatar is a pair of tits so I don't think the guy knows it yet. I don't want to be mean, which is why I haven't responded yet. I've had a few others who contacted me who list their relationship status as "Open Marriage". WTF!?! I don't even touch those messages with a ten foot pole. Why take vows if you're still going to fool around? It's like you're still dating, but with all the tax breaks.

I must be getting old. I was Stumbling and came across a profile that really irked me. It wasn't that she was posting photos of porn. It was that she was posting BAD porn. Genitalia with pimples or badly shaven, odd faced moments of ecstasy and really plain looking people. It was like she just posted the first picture she could find just to say "Look! I like porn! Tee hee! Aren't I sexy?" Her personal photo was of her kneeling with some random guy's cock in her mouth. Lovely. But it was the 'About Me' section that almost locked my eyes in my sockets from the rolling. "I love to suck cock and random cocks are best. Thank GOD for StumbleUpon! I can never get enough!! Anyone want to cum in my mouth? PLEASE??" Can you say 'Attention whore'? Oy... If it's attention she wanted she got it. Any horny guy with Internet access responded with comments about wanting to cum in her mouth yada yada yada ... Bad porn + pornographic picture = desperation. If that's the impression you were going for, you got it. More power to ya, toots.

I feel... old. After a lovely day at work that started off with sitting down at my desk and hearing:

BOSS: It's all wrong!
ME: ... What?
BOSS: The letters. The info is wrong! Wrong!
ME: Wha.. ? Do you mind waiting until I'm on the clock to yell at me? I've got 5 minutes

Five minutes later:

BOSS: The info is wrong.
ME: FINE. Give it back and I'll redo it.

After I fixed the error on the DRAFT that I left for her to see it was better. I finally got home and click on my Stumble Upon account to view a message that was sent.

Unnamed Stumbler: 4:07pm you are one hot mom!

WTF!?! Okay, he's 18 yrs old so the age difference is one thing... but a mom? Suddenly my biological clock went into overdrive and I felt really old. And down. And... NOT where I should be. I'm 38 so I guess he's matching the age with normal people who are married with children. This should not be bugging me like it is... but I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and just.. GAH!