Come on, folks, it's not that hard to do. Every day I have to go through a four way stop to get to and from the parking lot at work. Across, and over... it's that simple. Not. Anyone who's ever visited Southern California knows that there is some sort of mental block on how to use a four way stop. It's to the point of being comical (or infuriating if you're Jake). Add pedestrians who don't understand (or care about) how it works and you've got a daily annoyance on your hands. Me? I look to see who pulled up first and walk the other way. Anyone else either walks or stands there, flagging everyone by. Yeah... the latter of the two will NEVER get home.

Last night it was everyone leave on time day. Instead of the usual group walking they chose to just randomly walk on both sides. This made it so no one could drive. Enter the honking drivers. By the time I got across to the parking lot it looked as if there was going to be some sort of brawl. Helpful hint to the pedestrians: You'd lose.

I love working with snarky idiots. REALLY I do. This one department created a form for me to send to all my clinics so that when the department receives it they know it's from me. There's a part listed for contact name and number so that I can call the clinic if there is an issue. There's this one chick I'll nickname Bitchcow who seems to get a bug up her ass every once in a while and ask for things to be filled out on the forum that don't need to be. Today we ONCE AGAIN went over the 'why don't you fill out the contact information so I call you instead of them' discussion. So ONCE AGAIN I have to remind Bitchcow that the information is for ME and that she should know to call me when she sees the form. You know.. because she was one of the people who helped to create it for me. She starts in about how she needs to know it's from me again and I stop. After a few moments of silence:

Me: "Ummm... Bitchcow? If you didn't know it was from me then HOW did you know to call me to tell me you wanted me to enter it?"
Bitchcow: *silence*
Me: "Yeah... there ya go. It DOES work. Did you need anything else?"
Bitchcow: No.
Me: "Alrighty then. It's ALWAYS a pleasure to speak with you. Talk to you soon!" *click*

Honest to G-d I'm going to find where her office is and smack the stupid out of her. It'll take a while... but it will be worth it.

The saga continues. Yesterday I called the stupid pharmacy at 3pm to make sure they had my meds ready. At first the girl gives me a firm "No" and starts to end the call. I yelled "WAIT" and told her my doctor's office confirmed that they had called it in. She sounds annoyed and puts me on hold to check. A few minutes later she comes back to tell me it's there. At least she sounded a tad more pleasant when she told me. It's funny how being caught in a lie does that.. That night we drive to the store and Jake runs in to get the meds. Fifteen minutes later they tell him it won't be ready until tomorrow because they don't have the right dosage. WTF!?! After pitching a fit (to Jake on his cell) he left. We get home to a message from the pharmacy saying there was a problem and the meds wouldn't be ready. This was at TWO pm. Ironically it was also the same chick that answered the phone when I called an hour later. I am so sick of this place. The other pharmacy is a little farther but I think I'm going to try them out. Anything is better than this place. The drug dealer on the street corner would give me better service.

I swear... often. Part of the reason is the stupid people I come in contact with. It truly amazes me. I just got a phone call from a woman who's mentality is that of a pea.

Me: Hello?
Duh: Oh hi. Is HH there?
Me: No, I'm sorry you've reached a private office.
Duh: Oh, she's not there.
Me: No.... This is a new number, perhaps she moved.
Duh: So she's not there? Do you remember me giving the (goes on about something I have no clue about)
Me: Maam? HELLO!? I am NOT HH. You reached the wrong number.
Duh: Do you know her?
Me: ... No. When people get numbers it's very random. I don't know who had this number.
Duh: But she just gave me the number. Is this (says different number)?
Me: No, you just misdialed.
Duh: Oh, okay!

Stupid cow. The chances that I would know the previous owner of this phone are about as slim as the chances that she has enough common sense to tie her shoes without having to redo it. Twice.

We have a line dedicate to Physicians. It clearly states to push this option if you are a physician or calling from a physician's office. So every day I get inundated with stupid people who can't seem to grasp the fact that they are NOT physicians and then can't seem to comprehend the very simple question I ask when I realize these 'less than stellar' individuals are NOT from the professional field. Usually within a word or two. Take the phone call I just received:

Me: Are you a physician or calling from a physician's office?
Idiot: Uhhhhh....
Me: Are you a physician or calling from a physician's office?
Idiot: Uhhhh... I wa..
Me: Are you a physician or calling from a physician's office?
Idiot: I just..
Me: Maam... ARE YOU A PHYSICIAN?
Idiot: No
Me: Do you WORK for a physician?
Idiot: I uhh....
Me: Do you work in a physician's office?
Idiot: No. I...
Me: Let me get you to the patient line. This line is for PHYSICIANS ONLY

I swear to G-d... I don't know how these people managed to live this far in life. Anyway... Yeah, stupidity. It annoys me.

This morning was... fun. I pull up to the first stop sign, do my stop and a woman tries to glide through on my right and go in front of me. I'll have none of that! I turn in front and she's stuck behind me. Whatever. I get to the light, turn right and go on my merry way. I decide to change lanes and see a car flying down the street in said lane. I turn into it anyway (plenty of room for them to slow the fuck down) and it ends up being the same twit. Whatever. I am at the street before turning onto the freeway, which is the usual clusterfuck, and she decides to cut someone off in the next lane and honk at me as she drives by... and then stops. In traffic. Guess what happens next. You betcha. My lane pulls forward and we're side by side. So of course I roll my window down, wave my arm at her and scream, "You wanna say something, bitch!?! You wanna say something.... BITCH!?!" Yeah, one of my finer AND CLASSIER moments I'm sure. She stares forward like a fucking pez dispenser and only slightly waves her hand (not quite a flip off, which is lame) as she drives off. Considering she drives three blocks from my house I'm sure we'll see each other again. Stupid cow. Who gets into bitch fights with random neighbors? Again... stupid cow. If you'll excuse me I have to drag my knuckles up to the keyboard and act civilized again.

I cannot believe the stupid, ornery and stubborn people that call our service. A man called trying to make an appointment to see his doctor. Never mind that it was an annual visit so you'd think he'd have the number by now. His authorization lists our number (which is a 800 number) so guess which one he goes for. I ask the usual questions when speaking to a new patient and he gets annoyed. REALLY annoyed. I ask the next round of current patient questions and he rudely informs me he's just trying to make an appointment. FINE. I inform him that he simply needs to call... wait for it... HIS DOCTOR'S OFFICE and he gets snappy.

Rude ole bastard: "YOUR number is on the authorization.
Me: Unfortunately It is incorrect. You need to call your doctor's office.
Rude ole bastard: Well why can't you make my appointment?
Me: We don't make appointments.
Rude ole bastard: Your message doesn't say that.
Me: ... No, it doesn't. It DOES say what we do do.
Rude ole bastard: How will people know if you don't list it.
Me: Here's a great rule of thumb. If you hear a message and it DOESN'T say what you're trying to do...
Rude ole bastard: Yeah?
Me: Assume they DON'T do it.

TFGIFF