I recently learned that someone I thought of as a friend was talking behind my back. Yeah, I know... junior high school shit. Still it hit me hard and I've been trying to deal with it. I really liked this person too. We post on the same forums (Sims related) so it's been hard for me to even enjoy the place.

Bullshit background: I like to thank people for their creations on the forums. I can't seem to create anything worth uploading and admire the hell out of those who try and succeed. I want to be supportive. I want to encourage new people to keep trying. Team player and all that... Most of the time they are objects I download for personal use. But there are quite a few that I thank without the download. It's not even a matter of quality. If I see something that I personally wouldn't use but think is absolutely adorable I want them to know. Why waste bandwidth to let someone know they did a good job? I never liked the 'It's not something I would use' comment. I don't see the need. The important part is that someone is sharing something they did and wants feedback. I'm more than happy to oblige. The mean person PMd a friend saying they basically didn't like me because of this. They felt it was pity posting or something like that. They also slammed my friend's work saying her friends only posted to be kind, and not because they liked her work. She posted about the conversation (minus the comment about me and the name of the person) because it really hurt her. Instead of just letting her vent and hearing what her friends had to say on the matter the mean person posted the PM (which was removed before I saw it) along with some very cruel comments about people who post without downloading. They left it with a 'I'd hate for them to come with me to buy pants' comment. This rubbed me raw. I felt like this was describing me to a tee. So much so that I deleted comments on creations of this person that I didn't download. Little did I know that they were talking about me.

The thread got out of hand and was locked. The person who was mean decided to pitch a hissy fit and delete ALL of their work and say they were only going to be on the main side (not the adult side). I was so appalled that someone would take creations from people who had nothing to do with the matter. It was so selfish. So childish. So... unlike the person I thought I knew. Then I was told about the PM. Ironically it was because the mean person accused my friend of telling me and she ended up having to tell me when asking if I knew. So now I was hurt and feeling humiliated. Worst of all, I felt like some sort of spammer. I didn't even want to post on threads. I felt like I was being judged. I went through my usual ask a billion people if I'm really that way and another person who I really liked said I kinda was. That made me feel even worse. Enough to want to leave.

A woman who I talk to a lot PMd me and I took a chance and told her about it (no names, etc..) Her response made me feel so much better. She reminded me of all the people who thanked me in posts and in PMs for being so kind and always saying something nice. One person called me an angel for making sure everyone had at least one post complimenting their work. My silly Moo was always supportive and then I got the PM I was dreading. I had asked a guy who I trusted to give me the truth. Brutal, but to the point. I half expected him to side with the mean person. Instead he sent a very detailed PM basically saying I was doing good for the community. That there is nothing wrong with thanking someone for their work, as long as you don't say you're downloading something that you aren't. I finally started to feel like the mean person was standing alone on this issue. If anything his comments hurt the community and it was better that he left. More importantly, I've seen him post on threads doing the same thing... so he was a hypocrite.

So now I'm trying to lick my wounds and join back in the fun. I figured it would be good to just get it out and be done with it. So there you are... the drama and it's closure. Except for when I bitch about the mean person... Cuz you know how I am. :p

Remember that thread on the Sim site that I was bitching about? Of course you do. Anyway, it was FINALLY locked, but not without a parting shot by the moderator. His statement was basically the forum it was posted in was for bitching... so don't complain if someone bitches and that the guy did something wrong and no one has the right to judge him for admitting it. He's partly right. No one should judge anyone. Not on that forum or in life. No one's perfect and the whole situation was sordid. I think the only issue people had was that he was publicly lying about it ever happening... and for the most part slapping the woman he was practically fucking on the board in the face. A woman who was adored by almost everyone there. In the end he didn't owe it to anyone accept for her. He could tell me that he's a three foot tall Gremlin that loves wearing frilly pink tutus with bee wings stapled onto the back and I'd just nod and move on. At the end of the day he has to look at himself in the mirror and see who he really is. A fucker... Not that I care. *innocent look*

As drama goes, I would rather chew on a mouth full of shit than have to deal with it. *puts away lunch* As with any community there's never a shortage of drama, no matter how mellow the place is. Lately the drama has been at the Sims site I love to go to. Incase you didn't want to read two posts down... and since I wrote out the whole fucking thing before realizing I had JUST wrote about it:

Two people start talking off the boards and it turns out the guy has a crush on the girl. Both say they are in a bad marriage and lust blossoms. They post ALL over the place how much they adore each other, and I sign up thinking said two are a couple. I learn of marriage issue later, and stifle it because it's none of my business. Then the woman's spouse finds the password and signs onto the site. Que the drama. She comes clean, tells him everything (two points for her) and that she wants a divorce. He asks for another chance and she says yes (a million points for her). Then the guy's wife finds the emails (don't these people delete anything?) and goes ballistic. She breaks his Sims discs and says she's leaving. He posts a dramatic I'm leaving thread which manages to piss everyone off because he sounds like a total pussy and tries to pull the victim card.

Anyway, the thread is still active and more people are chiming in with their views. My biggest concern is that they're going to start going after each other. One poster already told people his wife cheated on him and he caught her, so he's thinking of how the wife must feel if she reads this post. My opinion is that while I feel for the wife (even though all past conversations make her sound to be a real bitch) it's the guy's choice to even post on there. And since he decided to add the whole 'I was just being nice' bit all bets are off. The people went nuts and I even tried to make some sense of it all but couldn't without doing a little knee to the groin. If the guy would just shut up we'd all go back to our regularly scheduled fucking around and downloading custom content. Anyway, I'm sick and at home and not in the mood.

I just started creating a new hood (town) for my Sims to play in. If all goes well I'll be playing Zombie Apocolypse soon. Oh yes... Pictures of brain eating Zombies are dancing through my head. They even have a gun to cut them down with. I am still looking to create a bad-ass Sim that will fight them. It's like my own mini movie. *grins* Yeppers, I'm a tad sick in the head. Most people play Sims for the cutsie family oriented fun. I play for maximum adult interractions and body count.

So far today has been good. Even with two people calling in sick it hasn't chipped away my good mood. The huge reports are due, the issues are piling and all I can do is look behind me at my boss' closed door and smile. She's off enjoying her family and I'm enjoying her enjoying her family. Plus... since we're on the same cycle it's nice to miss a month of PMS banter.

Lately I've been downloading loads of custom content for my Sims 2 game as well as being a complete chatterbox on a few of the Sims oriented forums. I haven't even been able to actually play my game in over a week. How's that for dedication? I've found some wonderful adult oriented clothing and body shapes that give the game an almost porn quality. Add to it the many objects you can get (masturbate/sex chairs and beds, vibrators and rugs) and it's like having a mini adult video going on. I have *yet* to the adult objects by the way...

The body shapes kick some serious ass. Being a woman of curves it's nice to have a Sim that has a little shape. I can't imagine many adults enjoying a sexy outfit on an A cup. It's like having a gorgeous set of shoes and a peg leg. Now I have Sims with DDD cups, 36 inch hips and three inch heels prancing around the different lots. Best part: no tripping. If it were me I'd be falling every third step. But... it'd be a SEXY fall, damn it!

I figured I'd update my saga with the Sims 2 game. This way you can totally pity me (or be afraid). This weekend I bought the rest of the EPs (Expansion Packs) minus the Bon Voyage one. After so many people griping about the anti spyware causing computer issues I figured I'd wait for that one. Besides... I think I have too many custom downloads as it is. The only reason I'd want that one is for other stuff and you can design only so many different bathrooms and living rooms per Sim.

After installing all the EPs I clicked on the NightLife icon only to be told "You are playing the wrong version of Sims 2. Start with Seasons instead". After pitching a fit, uninstalling Seasons (which deleted all my downloads... thank G-d for back ups) I found out that Sims 2 works funky. You have to play with the latest EP, even if you only want to play one option. Go figure. So I RE-install Seasons, copy the Downloads folder back and apply ALL the patches for each game. Then I test it out. Game starts... slowly. It hangs for a bit, then loads my first Sim. Then the furniture starts flashing blue and I almost toss the damn computer out the window. After taking a deep breath (or twenty) I search the web and learn that my brand spanking new video card needs updated drivers. Twenty minutes later I finally start the game and there's no flashing. There's no custom content either. With that I shut the damn thing off and go to bed. The next morning I try it again and the custom content is there... but my Sims house has all the furniture replaced with standard furniture. Whatever. It's there and I'm happy.

I'm looking forward to the extras that University EP (Zombies) and Pets EP (Werewolves) have. I'm thinking of making a Zombie apocalypse town and see what I can do with it. I just have to make sure I can actually kill them. Wouldn't that be awesome? I'd make Mini Shaun and Ed characters (from Shaun of the Dead) and let the head bashing begin.

I am too obsessed with my computer. I think I need to just step back and leave it be. After buying 2 more gigs of Ram I learned that the computer will only read up to 3.12gbs. The only way I can get it to read all four gigs is to buy a 64 bit OS. Considering how much of a pain Vista has been so far I can't imagine paying money for another version. Then again, buying XP since it is not going to be supported at some point in the future seems sort of pointless.

All this over a fucking game, too. Since I've bought Sims 2 I've been obsessed with all the custom options. Clothing, furniture, hair, makeup, etc... I have been downloading more than playing. So what do I do? Go out and buy more expansion packs. Yeppers, it's terminal. The game is so fun though. I never in a million years thought that it would be something I'd like. EVER! Now I'd rather play then chat, post or do anything else. Dude... I think I need intervention. Strike that. Anyone trying to come between me and my Sims 2 game will leave with bloody stumps.

I'm still sick, but at least I'm getting better now that the antibiotics are starting to kick in. Yay for having a weak immune system. My boss actually sent me home a little earlier the last two days, which shows you how bad off I was. I think she appreciates that I'm even there. She'd better....

I lost all my Sims characters... and even a new batch. I finally gave up and reinstalled the damn thing. I think I'm getting too impatient with it because I was at a different level and didn't want to go back to the beginning. Oh well. Between trying to find all the correct versions of software for my new computer (fucking Vista) and deciding which hard drive will be internal VS external (the computer only has room for two internal) I've been a busy gal. I'll be glad when this is done with and I can get back to just fucking around.

Seriously... This has been the week from hell. And I'm not even talking about the cold from hell that has had me housebound (and my boss pissed at me). It all started because I wanted to play my Sims game (except for the getting sick. That was a coworker's fault).

My power supply started failing so I went out to buy a new one. Then my game started to get choppy because of all the downloads so I went to buy more RAM... then a new video card. My video card fried my old motherboard and I went out with a fever to buy a new computer. Six trips to Best Buy later I was home with a new computer, new video card and an external hard drive to move all my shit over. So of course the new computer has Vista, which means some of my programs don't work. It's pretty... but pretty doesn't cut it when I can't use my Photoshop. At one point Jake came home and I started talking about hearing church bells chiming (there's not a church even close). He sent me to bed.

Last night I decided to try my Sims2 game. It loaded just fine, but when I went to choose a Sims house it just held there. The computer says that it's running (instead of not responding), so I am at a loss. I created a new Sims character and was able to move them into a house. I went back out, then was able to choose that Sims' house. I tried one of my other Sims and still can not access them. I am so pissed right now. I'd gladly trade my new computer for my old one just to have all my stuff. *sigh* Oh, here's the new computer specs:

AMD Athlon 64 x 2 Dual Core Processor 4400+ 2.30GHz
2046MB RAM
NVIDIA GeForce 8600 GT Video Card
Vista Home Premium

I'm hoping I can find someone that will help me save my Sims. *crosses fingers* Yeah, I'm obsessed...

Oh, and by the way... It's easier to get two female Sims to have sex than when I created Mini Jake and Mini Me. I'm just saying...

Okay, so I fucked up the damn game... AGAIN. I'm one of those people that LOVES all the extras you can get to enhance the game. The clothing, the hair, the furniture, the walls/floors, etc... It makes what is a cute game something I am addicted to. The problem lies with how much I've downloaded. Over a thousand extras to date. Instead of trying one thing at a time I downloaded all sorts of goodies... then turned on the game. Instant heartache, man. After spending all fucking day going through the files without finding which item was causing it to go wonky I gave up. The game takes so long to load it's hard to do a test run each time without wasting five minutes per addition. My only other option is to start all over again... and that's going to be a pain in the ass. This time I'm going to have so many sub folders it's disgusting. It's better than the alternative... nuke the game and go back to playing in my forum's arcade. With another gig of RAM on the way to the house so I can play that's not an option... YET. So yeah... I won't be online for a while. Oy...

With my Sims2 game in high gear I have decided to get more RAM for my computer. Right now the 1 gb isn't enough to play the game and have other applications open without the game dragging. I also have been a downloading fool when it comes to Sims2 clothing, hair, objects and furniture. Unfortunately that all takes up memory to have and I'd rather get more than turn everything else off.

After trolling the usual stores I decided on New Egg since they're the cheapest. A special thanks to my friend Pos for dealing with my 'OMG WTF' questions about how I know what the limit on RAM is for my self built computer. Now I just have to wait....

My Sims2 characters are not happy. Mini Jake just HAD to go and birth that thing so now we have a mini abortion running around. I was told that if you ignore it the Child Welfare Services come and take it away. That sounded easy enough. Wrong! Every time I click off of the baby for them to do other things it pops back into their mind. I've tried everything. Sex, swimming, making out, exercising... the whole gamut. That little green thing still pops into their head. Meanwhile Mini Jake just HAD to leave it in the kitchen which means every time they go in for food it's there. In order to make it unhappy I can't use the cheat mode to Make All Happy, which means all is not cheery in the Jake/Diva household. Now I have three fussy, whiny, stinky, hungry Sims. it's just like real life. Personally I think this is the best birth control you can offer. Here kiddies, play mommy and daddy for a while. Not fun, is it?

At least, that's what happened in the Sims2 Nightlife game I've been playing. It's been so long since I've had a game that I could get into this has been a pleasant surprise. I wasn't sure if I'd even like it. The only downside is that when you are playing it you can't chat. The minute you click on someone's IM the game minimizes and takes a while to reload. Next on my wish list: A laptop to play the game on. Dude... it IS like crack!

I have been sucked into the time stopping game called Sims 2. I'm playing the Nightlife expansion pack to be precise. I made a Mini Me and a Mini Jake in one game and just a Mini Me in another. Ironically the Mini Me and Jake Sims characters get along just like we do. Heh. My vote is to start off with the cheats until you get used to how it works. Cat was kind enough to endure all my questions and panic driven IMs until I got the hang of it. Some of the highlights are:

Diva: why are my Sims fighting?
Cat: uh oh

Diva: and it wont let me inside the house!
Cat: did you put on a front door?
Diva: yes
Cat: hmm

Diva: a bunch of sims came by too
Diva: so help me if that redhead ends up flirting with Jake I'll nuke it from orbit.... its the only way to be sure
Cat: ha ha ha
Cat: you can make him start a fight with her

Diva: dude, how do you just.... SEE them?
Diva: I keep seeing walls
Cat: hang on
Cat: there's a button that let's you change the way the walls work

Diva: I think they're dying
Diva: :(
Diva: how do I feed them?
Cat: pause the game

Diva: I died
Diva: :(
Cat: what?
Cat: oh god
Diva: she ate cookies
Cat: Um
Diva: *cries*
Cat: what did she die of?
Diva: she just fainted on the floor
Cat: is she still on the floor?
Cat: if the grim reaper hasn't come, it just means she fell asleep on the floor
Cat: because she needs to be told to go to bed
Diva: jake is sparkly
Diva: and she wont go to bed
Diva: stupid sims
Cat: I think I need to supervise you ;-)

Now that I've FINALLY sorta kinda gotten the hang of it, I'm really liking this game.