Two floors of hell. Two floors of me fighting the urge to rip the gum out of this woman's mouth and beat her with my coffee mug. Two floors of snapping, popping and chewing like a cow. I thought for sure that I could make it. It was easy as pie. Focus on the "L" and dive when the doors opened. The elevator 'dinged' to alert us of our floor and I yelled out "GAH!" I almost made it. She glared at me, did a final snap and walked out. Oh sure, as if I was the rude one.

When I was a child I snapped my gum in front of my dad. I was six and we were in the middle of Disneyland. I snapped it once and he stopped. "Do that again and you're wearing it on your nose." A few steps farther I snapped it again. "Put it on." I ended up wearing that pink blob of Hubba Bubba on my nose for the rest of the day. When it fell off he made me put it back on. I NEVER snapped my gum again. Maybe I should have forced her to wear it. Staple it in place even. Yeah...