My limit is seven apparently. My boss hit me with twelve emails. Three asking for the same thing. Two updating. This is in the span of five minutes. I was already doing the daily reports (12 different reports lumped into one end result report). On top of that I'm dealing with patient complaints, VIP patients and doctors wanting to refer their patients. All at the same time. One report I missed her comment about simply letting her know when it was done so that she could send it. Then she added that I didn't add a heading to it so they could figure out what information they were looking at. Both totally my fault. Even so... I couldn't help but feel that she was baiting me into fucking up. She's adding different reports, changing how she wants them... then calling me about new reports at the same time. I'm so tired and just feel like crying. The worst part is that she said she wanted to start putting everything in writing (paper trail) because we aren't on the same page anymore. No shit. I'm back on page twenty and she's on page 55/92/3/67/89/6/and all of the above. I know she has a suspicion about the job offer. Either someone reads my rants and tells her (FUCK YOU) or she's so nosy she listens to more than I think she can. Either way... I feel like my time here is growing short and I'd better get my ass in gear.

Yeah, so my boss just HAD to be a cow. So much for her being in a good mood after her birthday. She intercoms me to create a report for another department. I asked her what criteria she wanted and she respond "The one you do all the time for them." *blink* Since when? I literally sat there... staring at her. I finally said, "I don't remember doing one 'all the time'. Could you give me a hint on what they want at least?" She snaps back that I did one about a year ago or so when they were going to blah blah blah.... So apparently ONCE over a year ago is 'ALL THE TIME' in her book. Even she realized the absurdity in that statement and lowered her voice towards the end. IDIOT. I create so many different reports for so many people that it's impossible to remember every detail. Especially when they ask for different criteria each time. And doubly especially if the said report is OVER A YEAR OLD. Jake, in all his wisdom added "I get laid ALL THE TIME! Works for internet nerds".

Oh yes... this is just priceless. I emailed the person for the prior report so that I could see what criteria they wanted. They forwarded me the last email I sent with the report attached... dated MAY 2006. She can just eat my ass today. Seriously.

Creepy IT chick strikes again. After offering up the world she comes through with Jersey. I've been waiting to finalize a major report for four days. She was supposed to run a Macro that gave me all these wonderful numbers. They gave me numbers all right... just the wrong ones. I spent all this time trying to just get everything else ready so I just had to insert the last part and it was for nothing. First my boss changes two parts of my report (four more reports instead of two). Then she says she only wanted ONE part changed. She gives me three days to finalize it and on the fourth (when it was due) I was still waiting on the numbers. Here's the kicker. I said I could redo a years worth of data to make the report look nice. CITC said no problem. Then at 4:45pm yesterday (you know... when I usually leave) she announces the data WON'T be the same because we changed how we gave it to her a few months back. WTF!?!?! If she told me this I could have either sent her the updated data or at least finalized the fucking report. So here I am, busting ass to redo the last section while my boss is bitching at me. I also told her which sections she'd have to work on HOURS before so it would be finalized when I entered my info. Did she do anything? Of course not! Instead she sat there fuming at 5:08am as I packed my shit up and walked out the door. I'll be damned if I'm going to stay over to listen to her bitch about why SHE didn't do her info. Today she seemed okay with it, although she managed to twist around how it was my fault for Mary not notifying me about the data change. This from a woman who can't keep a fucking email that was sent to her FIVE seconds prior.

My head is killing me. I went to work early today expecting a week's worth of work to catch up on. What I DIDN'T expect was for my boss to tell me to put it all aside so we could work on a powerpoint presentation I did for her TWICE before. Apparently they decided to change it again. So we spent the next six and a half hours redoing everything... and I left and hour and a half late. That's without a late break and working through half my lunch. I am sooo going to bed right now.

Monday was quite the shitty day. The HUGE report I was told about on Friday AFTERNOON took up all my day. The best part? It's still not done. Considering it's due today at 10AM I can comfortably say: I'm screwed. At one point I had my boss standing behind me, asking me what I was going to do next. Each time I tried to do a number she asked that. I finally said, "I'm going to wait until you leave before continuing. THAT'S what I'm going to do next." She left, only to come back when I burried my hands in my head. Our data is shit. All the little tweaks she's done has made it impossible to give an accurate report without working twice as hard. It makes me want to scream. I just keep thinking about the Friday when she'll be off. I'm going to fuck around like there's no tomorrow. Work? HAH! Talk to me on Monday.

Yesterday was a joy. I sat down at my desk and was interrogated by my boss. Each report she asked me about had the same response. "No, it's not done." The worst part is that I heard a familiar tone... the tone she used to give me when she thought I was slacking off. The tone that said, "I wan't to order people around". I waited until the people in her office left (although I had to fight the urge to kick them out) and laid into her.

Me: I don't know if you're hungry, grumpy or forgetful but your line of questioning was unacceptable. Last week you told me I had no deadlines and to focus on doing the other groups' work. You even told my coworker I had no deadlines and was available to work. I did this through this week and Friday I left at 11am.

Boss: Yes, but it's Thursda...

Me: Yes it is. And what did I do all yesterday? I found out that only FIVE days in January are correct for the report that's due next week. I spent all day working on that. AND this morning... We're not even halfway to finding out what happened and then they have to fix it.

That shut her up. She tried again later about a report that was late because the letter she was writing wasn't done... I felt like it was a test to see how much I'd remember.

Boss: Why didn't you remind me?

Me: What?!? I asked you. I reminded you. I EMAILED you.

Boss: Yes, but...

Me: But nothing. I can only remind you so much. EVERYTHING was ready. All I needed was that letter with your signature.

I swear that woman will never take responsibility for any screw ups on her part. A half hour later she tried to say she thought it was the letter for the other report. I told her I showed her the letter to sign and that she even came over, saw the report on my desk and asked why it wasn't out. I'm not going to let her wiggle out of this one. Five HUNDRED pages sitting on my desk that I worked on are now in the shredder. *sigh*

I arrived at work to see sticky notes everywhere. All the reports I did had circles, questionmarks and "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?" All my work... destroyed. Leave the boss alone for one day and all hell breaks loose. After reminding her for the tenth time how I get the numbers she sheepishly said, "Oh, can you reprint them then?" I sat down at my desk and was shaking. She started to complain about something else and I literally found myself thinking 'I quit. I'll find work somehow.' Luckily it didn't go past the lips. Then my boss storms past me and locks her eyes on a coworker. The next thing I hear is "Get off the internet and get to work". I swear all I could think was, "Thank G-d she's onto someone else." When she came back she looked relieved... like she was able to blow off some steam and not piss me off.

Later on in the day she asked me to help her get together a report for a big meeting she has. The meeting that's been scheduled for two weeks. The meeting that starts in 40 minutes... and is 40 minutes away. I wanted to bang my head against the desk. I rushed around, getting everything together and finally got her out the door as the meeting was about to begin. *sigh* I was so warn out by the end of the day I could have crawled into my car. After a 30 minute drive home I get a call on my cell from her. She wanted to thank me for all the hard work I've done and tell me that the report I put together impressed the big guys and may have saved some jobs. That's a hell of a way to end the day...

Yesterday I snapped. My boss changed my report AGAIN, then wanted to know why I wasn't finished with it. I guess I should feel honored that someone thinks I work that fast... but I don't. I almost wish it would go back to her thinking I was a fuck up and could do nothing right. The expectations are so much lower and I had time to breathe. Right now I'm working like a dog and not getting breaks. Meanwhile my coworkers are whining about their everyday, nonchanging tasks. I would kill to have a schedule like that. If they keep up on the whining I just might...

I've been working my ass off this week. By friday I'll have a butt like Lindsay Lohan. My boss asks me if I could finish this huge report by tomorrow AM. I look at the time and say "No problem". Bad fucking idea. Throughout the day she's asking me (or having coworkers ask me) to do other things. By the end of the day I'm halfway done and the word *SCREWED* is flashing on my screen. At one point she approached me and asked if I had added in the numbers she sent me yesterday to a report I finished last week after her FIVE changes. I gave her a "You have got to be fucking kidding" look and she backed off. Her compromise was to add it to the graphs (and not redo the 500 page report). Then she asks for nine extra copies. I wanted to scream but all I could do was wimper. I just know she went back into her office and giggled...