Let's try this again, shall we? I tried discussing this on the main site and became THOROUGHLY frustrated. Part of which is my PMS. The other part is that I just wanted to talk about something that was on my mind. You know... ON MY FUCKING BOARD. Yeah, so anyway...

Religion has always been a touchy subject for people. Most are happy with their (non) beliefs and have no interest in discussing anything that may rock the boat. Anytime I try discussing religion it's from a Jewish standpoint which immediately puts people on the defensive. I guess I can respect that... even though it's not my intention. I love to learn about other religions. Other lifestyles. Other everything. I want to understand where someone is coming from. It's easier to walk in someone's shoes for a mile if you actually know what they look like.

I miss my one friend at work who used to discuss religion with me. That's all I had. ONE person who felt comfortable enough in their religion (Catholic) to discuss it as a whole. Now the people I know are either agnostic or atheist. Any discussion is slapped with a 'that's why I don't believe' answer. Sometimes I want MORE than that. I want to understand.

The preacher guy from Obama's camp made some statements that seem very unbecoming of a preacher. While I understand that we are human, he is supposed to be able to guide people. That's his job... moral guidance. How can you guide someone with blasphemy and racial dividing? How can you teach about higher powers when your statements are about what consumes you on earth? Wright isn't the only one. Hell, his statements are mild compared to some of the other people. Fallwell blames homosexuality for 9/11. He preaches like G-d has some special place in his heart for America. Again, they seem to think G-d blessed our borders personally and the rest of the world can go fuck off. Just because man placed the word "G-d" on their currency doesn't mean we own him.

Once again I'm sitting in a place where I have questions with no answers. No explanations. No condemnations. The only thing I have is frustration from sharing a personal thought. Religion shouldn't be a scary thing to discuss on it's points. It shouldn't be a war causing, enemy making, blood spilling conversation. Should it?

This morning was... fun. I pull up to the first stop sign, do my stop and a woman tries to glide through on my right and go in front of me. I'll have none of that! I turn in front and she's stuck behind me. Whatever. I get to the light, turn right and go on my merry way. I decide to change lanes and see a car flying down the street in said lane. I turn into it anyway (plenty of room for them to slow the fuck down) and it ends up being the same twit. Whatever. I am at the street before turning onto the freeway, which is the usual clusterfuck, and she decides to cut someone off in the next lane and honk at me as she drives by... and then stops. In traffic. Guess what happens next. You betcha. My lane pulls forward and we're side by side. So of course I roll my window down, wave my arm at her and scream, "You wanna say something, bitch!?! You wanna say something.... BITCH!?!" Yeah, one of my finer AND CLASSIER moments I'm sure. She stares forward like a fucking pez dispenser and only slightly waves her hand (not quite a flip off, which is lame) as she drives off. Considering she drives three blocks from my house I'm sure we'll see each other again. Stupid cow. Who gets into bitch fights with random neighbors? Again... stupid cow. If you'll excuse me I have to drag my knuckles up to the keyboard and act civilized again.

Yeah, so the lazy coworker managed to fuck up any future birthdays. They took a vote (at her insistance) and now if you want to celebrate your birthday you bring your own cake. Give me a fucking break. I always looked forward to having that done by someone. I don't have family and most of my friends aren't local. In short... It's the only time I really have a group of people sing happy birthday to me. I'll be damned if I'm going to buy a fucking cake for myself and bring it to work. That's just sad. My boss knew it was going to piss me off, so she didn't even include me in the vote. She told me as she had one foot in the other direction, ready to bolt. G-d forbid I should have a different fucking opinion. She can kiss my ass if she thinks I'm buying cake for people to eat just to get a happy birthday sung to me. And I'll be damned if I do anything for that cow that decided to bitch about the birthday celebrations.

I have to apologize to all my friends for my current emotional state. I'm whiny. We're talking MAJOR whines... Between feeling like shit, not being able to do anything and not being able to accomplish anything I'm in a sort of a funk that is a bitch to get out of. My sinus/ear infection has made it so I can't even concentrate enough to read or play my games. It's also brought on some sort of emotional kamakaze to start things I'm not capable of finishing and then throwing myself at the feet of whomever is unlucky enough to be there and pitching a fit worthy of a two year old in a candy store. I DO appreciate how much patience and compassion my friends have shown me. I DO appreciate the Sims meshes that were created for me. I DO appreciate friends showing up on NoChickTrix and supporting the site. I'm tickled to death to see the newest member, a great guy that usually sticks to comments on my blog. Most of all, I appreciate not being tarred and feathered for being a complete whiny ass about anything and everything. My sinus infection is MUCH better. My ear infection hurts like a sonofabitch, but is still not bad enough to ask for pain killers. I'm just glad I'm finally back at work and being productive. Again, thanks to all my friends.

Odessa

I swear I want to kill Jake sometimes. Once again he didn't pay his bill. *grumbles* I just don't know what to do. I want to scream. I want to yell. I just am at my wits end. Emotionally I'm drained, physically... we won't even go there. We need a new game plan and fast. How can two people move forward when you can't get past the first hurdles?

I am tossing and turning about my taxes this year. Do I go to the guy that screwed them up last time or try to do them on my own. If I do them on my own I know I won't get the same amount back... but at least I won't get screwed if he doesn't do everything right. *sigh* Time to learn TurboTax. At least I save money that way.

I loathe this time of year. The special interest groups are calling our house multiple times a day, each one trying to annoy the fuck out of me. Celebrities and people trying to sound as ethnic as possible, trying to scramble for last minute voters for their cause. "Yo man. I don't care what you are. Black, white, whateva. Just get out there and vote". Between that and Scarlet Johansson's pre taped recordings I've had my fill. Let tomorrow be over with so I can get back to my regularly scheduled quiet time.

*sigh* After being home sick for three days I was finally starting to feel better and all hell broke loose at an unlikely spot: My one favorite Sims site. Part of me feels guilty because I spoke up about something that bothered me (which quickly blossomed into a full blown head-scratching event). But the other part of me still stands my ground. Yeah, so details...

A while back someone posted an annoying thread about how they were shocked that no one had known about them. I kid you not. Everyone was as polite as can be as they posted about how they were talented, etc... (I'm doing this from memory so don't hold me to everything being in line) and managed to hit a nerve with me. I bit my lip and mentioned the thread to a member who had been there a while and they said they felt the same way. I held back, not wanting to cause a stir but finally ended up calling them on their post. The woman clarified things, promised to upload content to show their work and all was happy again. We'd get new content, they'd have a place to upload.. blah blah blah. Except for one thing... she never uploaded squat. Instead she decided to start a forum and invite members over. I totally understand wanting to have control of your work and it's always nice to have your own spot... but it's the WAY she did it that I just wasn't thrilled with. She posted about getting new member sign ups, and kept posting about needing more people. One another person's forum. Without contributing squat. It was quite rude in my opinion. But hey, we can't all be classy broads can we (shut up Mike)?

Yesterday I saw a new post about the other person's site. I went to the site and noticed a Goals thread. Since I didn't see any content (and you know I love the custom content) I clicked on the goals thread to see what they were planning to do. *sigh* I should have just clicked off. I should have just held it in. But on the thread one guy (another total sweetheart) said to go spam the hell out of InSim (my favorite site). I was so taken aback, especially since they know all that the owners are going through. I went back to the InSim site and saw one nice guy posting about going there and I Pmd him with a thump. I just didn't know what to say. I was really annoyed with the spamming guy, but since I don't know the personalities I went for the one I figured I could talk to (but not knowing how to say it). Unfortunately he wasn't around and the original commenter was. I PMd him and spoke my mind. It had nothing to do with them posting on the board. I would never do that. We ALL post on different boards. It was about the spamming. And the fact that no one said it wasn't cool. In return the guy jumped the gun, said he was really spying on the site to see if they'd keep their word or just steal content (yes, this is a problem) and posted some mini rant about it. I was mortified. Enter nice guy number two. The first guy I thought would be easier to talk to (even if he thinks I think he's weird... weirdo). He jumps to defend the site, not knowing what transpired and I try to stamp out a fire and end up chatting on IM for a while with him. We worked things out (between the two of us) and hopefully all will be good on InSim too. I'm half dreading going there just to see the aftermath. Hopefully the chick that the post was directed to will be respectful enough to either ignore it or give a simple explanation as to why she never posted on InSim. As long as there's some sort of closure and we can get back to having fun and downloading custom content.

I ended up tossing and turning last night, just thinking that things weren't resolved. Plus... why the hell did the nice guy think I was... I dunno. standoffish maybe? Granted, I don't curse like a sailor there, but I did think I was the same person. I dunno. Maybe I have some sort of Sybil in me (shut up Mike and Mike). Yay for more drama....

A stool pigeon. A rat. A.. a... spyish person. My Boss finally noticed that one of my coworkers has been taking advantage of the VERY cushy job that she's been given. This is the same person that she was talking about promoting because of her excellent work. To be honest the girl CAN hustle and get things done. The problem is that it's only when she wants to. Last week my boss freaked out about the long holiday and started telling everyone to help her out and me to take messages. I balked. Why be backlogged with patient calls when two people could clear the fax out? She scoffed. She rolled her eyes. She... mocked me. WTF. Then she did her sarcastic 'FINE' (which I can do soooo much better) and told me to do it. I cleared that sucker out with time to spare. She looked at the work and conceded. I wasn't happy with that. I made her admit that I was right and that she was wrong. To my surprise she actually did. Since then she's been on a mission to make sure my coworker either stepped up or stepped aside. As frustrated as I am with the predicament I am pissed off that the coworker put me in this situation. She knows she's being watched. She KNOWS she can work harder. She KNOWS our boss can and does listen in on conversations. Yet she continues to call family and friends throughout the day and not do the work she's supposed to.

This morning she was given a relatively simple task. Clear out the inbox by 9am (before most offices open). At 9am none of them were cleared and I walked by to see her on the phone with her bank. I wanted to smack her upside the head. She was being offered a chance to be reclassified, get a raise and move up... and it's for the easiest job ever! Yet all she can do is fuck around because someone isn't sitting next to her and breathing down her throat. You know... if they're going to add 'babysitter' to my list of duties I want a fucking raise.

...make me sick. Friday was filled with weird calls and people who just didn't want to pay the toll call and make an appointment. The first cheap person calls on the physician line (a line just for doctors trying to get patients into the hospital and starts off by announcing that her husband 'is a doctor'. She then starts babbling about some appointment and I cut her off (at the knees). "Maam... Are you calling from a doctor's office, or are you calling as a consumer? She tries to ignore my question and I repeat myself... louder. She then says, "Oh all right then, get me to extension... " and proceeds to read off some clinic number. I kick that cow to the curb and tell her she needs to dial it herself. BAM! One down, a gazillion more to go. The next cheap person is a nasty old biddy who has been terrorizing our area for some time (unbeknownst to me). Twenty minutes of her nastiness and I was ready to kick this bitch's teeth in. I wasn't about to let her get the best of me. I rode her like the cow she was and she finally gave up... until today. She calls back FOUR times, and each time they transfer her to me (as I instructed them to on Friday). The first time she played dumb. The next time she pushed and then hung up on me. The third time she heard my voice and hung up. The FOURTH time she started screaming at me, then demanded I transfer her to patient complaints so she could lodge a complaint against me. I happily said "You got it!" and dialed their number. Before I transferred her I made sure they knew the whole story. Ironically enough they already knew her name. She held on for quite a while before hanging up, so I gave the woman her name, number and the low down of our area. Bottom line: She isn't to call us again. The next time she calls I'll happily send her to their department so they can give her the news. Stupid cow.

I'm always amazed when someone who's a wonderful person gets cheated on. They've got all the traits of what every man or woman has been looking for... and yet the person who found them can't keep their legs closed long enough to appreciate the gem they've found. They love you. They want to spend the rest of their lives with you. They... just can't seem to live up to the words.

A friend of mine just told me that they are single again. A long time relationship just ended after said signifiCUNT other decided to cheat on them while they were away for five days. Five days. A lifetime of trust down the drain because they couldn't respect the person they were with. I don't believe the 'it just happened' bullshit either. You don't even go down that route without consciously thinking about it. You have to want it. I look at guys all the time and it never goes beyond that. The idea of 'I wonder what he'd be like' never even enters my mind. Why? Because I have someone. Those thoughts are left for when I get home. The minute you start thinking about someone in a sexual manner you need to stop and ask yourself why. I don't mean long enough to buy a condom either. I'm talking stop, think and if you REALLY want that person then you need to talk with your significant other first. Give them the decency of making a choice too. If you want to act like a single person then you need to be one. One: simple respect. Two: What person wants to start a relationship with a cheating bastard? I'm just saying...

Anyone want a boss? More than slightly jaded, unpredictable and horrible memory. Prone to snippy remarks and the blame game. Price: FREE.

I walked into the refrigerator I call my cubicle and managed to crack a smile without cracking my face. The temp is in the low 60s now (was in the fifties) and there's NO heat coming out of the vents. Needless to say no one was in a great mood. My boss caught an issue that we've had with the report for OVER a year and she made the decision to keep before. It seems that the coldness cracked her skull and she NOW decided that it's something to fix. One problem: There's no easy fix outside of not counting it. Cue the drama. I get to try and explain to her the issue and get attitude back. I toss it at her and we're on the road to a bitch-fest. She decides that MY description isn't good enough and pulls the nurse in. After making me explain to the nurse the issue she starts throwing random decisions out, none of which are easy and ALL of which she stopped doing before because of the errors. Then she tells me she doesn't like my tone. MY tone. She's being a total bitch and basically saying I'm not good enough to explain a simple issue... and I have the attitude problem. Yeah, so I stormed out of the office and haven't said shit to her. I spent a few minutes on the phone with Jake, trying not to cry (and failing). This is going to be SUCH a shitty day.

...the young caucasion girl. That's the first thing a woman who works at UCLA snapped at one of the nurses. It was also the start of a thirty minute tyrade that left two woman (both UBER nice) shaking and me steaming mad. The reason for her flipping out? A woman who called us excessively when she didn't get any call backs was also calling this bitch. So my coworker called to check if she got the paperwork. When she never got a callback my coworker called two more times to see if everything was okay, etc... So yeah... it's over this woman feeling like we're trying to make her DO HER JOB.

The next day when I learned of it I went directly to our boss' office and told her of the incident. It took me forty minutes to convince the woman who got the brunt of the verbal abuse to agree to make a complaint. By the way, she's not caucasion and a few years shy of forty. Luckily the employee's boss is on good terms with us and VERY customer service conscious. We rehashed the event via phone and managed to get quite a few gasps and shocked expressions before it was done. My boss was NOT pleased. I even used my 'we're not working in a pencil factory ya know... we're working with patients and need to be more considerate' lecture. Sure... it was preaching to the choir, but it felt good to add it.

I'm always amazed at how nasty people can be. Especially those who will tear anyone apart if they think the person is too nice to stand up for themself. Throughout the tirade this woman whined about being the only one as if she were at the helm of the Titanic and narrowly missing icebergs daily. I wish I could tell her that the person she screamed at is dealing with a mother dying of cancer. A grandfather dying of old age. A grandmother walking the halls with Alzheimers. Two jobs to try and support them all... and STILL manages to smile and be pleasant. I DID tell the manager that later on. Luckily she knows her and is sympathetic to the situation. What happens remains to be seen. Bottom line: The cow needs to be slapped. *sigh*

Huge, hairy, sweaty donkey balls. Flea infested ones. I originally went on their site to do the usual 'what's the cheapest airfare' tester. After going on several different websites they had the best. I bought the overly priced tickets and went on to select the seating. Going from LA to Dallas was a breeze. When I moved on to the return flight it kept kicking me out. It would confirm... then kick me out. Each time showing less seats. I figured rather than book the whole fucking plane (although that would be kick ass) I called Cheap Tickets and they said it was a computer glitch on their end and all was well. A few days later I got the confirmation email... saying I had to select the seats. WTF!?! I went BACK to the Cheap Ticket website and tried selecting again. After it wouldn't allow me I called for help. Again they said there was a computer glitch, they're oh so sorry... yada yada yada... all is set. Fast forward to Monday. I get my friendly reminder with some hints and tips... and an alert to tell me to pick our return seats. To say I flipped was an understatement. I huffed. I puffed. I searched through the bowels of my very being to find a way to talk to the customer service rep without using the words 'cow' or heifer'. Ten minutes into the call I was fighting back 'cunt' and 'son of a whore'. That's with being on hold for a seven and a half of it. Apparently Miss Customer Service Rep missed her bedside manner class. After quipping about 'If you read the instructions (biteme) it states that they will assign the seats' I pointed out that they assigned the first seats without a glitch. She came back with 'it's (airline name here)'s decision to assign the seats. They only look at our recommendations. I slammed her with, "So what you're saying is that I shouldn't even use Cheap Tickets because they are powerless to book the flight and I should go through the airlines directly. Is that about right?" Yeppers... I went right into bitch-mode. It's a rarity outside of PMS, which shows you how done I was with it all. With that she cow towed down and politely asked to put me on hold so she could call them and check. My 'go ahead' was the most I could muster up without cussing. I signed onto the airline website and searched for our plane. Two minutes later she cheerfully came back on the line to say all was well and we were assigned seats 14X and 14Y. I was so happy I could cry. I thanked the woman and hung up. I was about to close the browser and scrolled up to see our confirmed/locked in place/mineminemine seats. 12, 13, 17. *blink* No row 14. Oh Hell naw! My eye twitched. My fingers twitched. I was about to scream. Instead I called the airline and spoke to THEIR customer service rep. After laughing about my colorful description of Cheap Tickets and me asking if we were indeed flying on the plane's wings she confirmed that we were on row 13. I thanked her and offered her my first born (IE: used condom). She declined. I was about to call Cheap Tickets back to bitch them out but thought better of it. I'll wait till I get my happy ass back before heading down that dark road.

"...You know, because you don't celebrate Christmas." I adore my friend but I wanted to clock him for asking me that. Let the season begin. The season of bitching about me not decorating my cubicle, not wanting that annoying fucker who walks around in the Santa suit to throw candy canes at me (what is he on... a quota?) and guilt ridden questions about parties and Secret Santas. Every answer I give turns into me being overly sensitive. Me turning down pork entrees (even though a coworker also doesn't eat it) is another jab at my overly sensitive religious state. Apparently she can turn it down because it's not for religious reasons. A simple 'no thank you' is turned into a reprimand. I'm not a team player because I'm going against what everyone else does. I like to look at the Christmas lights. I love listening to the Christmas carols. It's not like I'm 'Bah, Humbugging' the whole affair. Just let me sit on the side and enjoy your holiday on my terms... and stop worrying about me not being in the middle of it all. Jeesh...

I'm so sick of feeling... sick. My boss called yesterday to find out if I was going to be there to finish the big report. Not once did she even ask how I felt. You gotta love the empathy. Actually she did ask if I was getting better. But it was more a demand than anything. "Are you getting better? Or do I need to make other arrangements to get this report done?"

If only life were like video games. In games you just run around and pick up health points to get better. On the verge of death? Here, take this box with the red cross on it. ZING! Much better... Oh? Still not ready for battle? Here's another health pack for good measure. That big bad guy got you in that 'not so fresh' mood? Kill him and take his life points. ZING! Now don't you feel much better? I am sooo not going to be safe to drive near on the freeway this morning...

One of the Sims2 sites I go to had a thread that brought tears to my eyes. The site is centered around Gay Simmers and everyone is really nice. The thread in question was a guy talking about how he was trying to find a way to tell his Italian Catholic mother that he was gay and how his family reacted to them finding out. From there other members shared their stories. To live a life where you are made to feel different is just so beyond me. But to not even be able to share your life with your family just aches. Imagine knowing that being honest about who you are could destroy the love that you were brought up by. One man spoke of how he heard his father crying and it still tears at him. It doesn't matter how successful these men will be. They will always be looked at as being *gay*. The gay son. The gay politician. It's one step away from pink triangles being sewn to their clothing. For some the triangles are already there... sewn in by family and friends. When you judge others you are judging yourself... just remember that.

I swear to fucking G-d... every time I get behind some person driving a newer Toyota Corolla they drive slower than shit after Mexican food. I've started to get a twitch in my eye every time one of them pulls in front of me. Slow and annoying. The kind of slow that makes it impossible to veer around them. These aren't old biddy drivers either. Young people, middle aged people. It's like they get hit by the fucker stick the minute they set foot in the driver's seat. I have no problem with people who choose to drive the speed limit. Just move to the right and let the rest of us maniacs continue on our way... damn it.

...is music to my fucking ears. I hopped in my car last night and decided to listen to some Green Day on the way home from hell work. I clicked the stereo button... nothing. WTF!?! I clicked it again. I even did the rapid sequence just for good measures. Nothing... I clicked on my steering wheel button (I love that fucking thing) and the radio turned on. Some odd characters zoomed across the display that reminded me of Space Invaders. After regaining my sanity I clicked a couple of other buttons before calling Jake to bitch. I fumbled through paperwork and decided to give the local dealer a call. I just bought this damn car last year... so anything going wrong is sooo not cool. After giving him my info he cheerfully replied that its all under warranty and I just have to stop by so they can order the radio. It'll be two to three weeks... then a new one will arrive. Hey, if it's no charge then I'm not going to bitch. After all the shit I've been through this is a walk in the park. A fucked up park filled with shards of glass and razor leaves that rains lemon juice... but still.