 |
I'm so miserable it's beyond Emo. It's as if I'm being hurled into some sort of PMS filled depression. Bad. REALLY REALLY bad. I felt a little better after talking to Bane. He's the chocolate to my frenzy. I spent the whole day thinking about what I can do to fix the server. I drove all the support people mad, posted on forums in hopes they could help and searched for key words that might shed some light on why I can't even blog. More importantly, why NO ONE can. Sure, Jake hardly does... but it's the principle, damn it! I just want my server to work like it did before they moved it to some other room. I don't think there's enough chocolate in the world to lift my mood… but I'm willing to find out. *gorges* Let's try this again, shall we? I tried discussing this on the main site and became THOROUGHLY frustrated. Part of which is my PMS. The other part is that I just wanted to talk about something that was on my mind. You know... ON MY FUCKING BOARD. Yeah, so anyway... Religion has always been a touchy subject for people. Most are happy with their (non) beliefs and have no interest in discussing anything that may rock the boat. Anytime I try discussing religion it's from a Jewish standpoint which immediately puts people on the defensive. I guess I can respect that... even though it's not my intention. I love to learn about other religions. Other lifestyles. Other everything. I want to understand where someone is coming from. It's easier to walk in someone's shoes for a mile if you actually know what they look like. I miss my one friend at work who used to discuss religion with me. That's all I had. ONE person who felt comfortable enough in their religion (Catholic) to discuss it as a whole. Now the people I know are either agnostic or atheist. Any discussion is slapped with a 'that's why I don't believe' answer. Sometimes I want MORE than that. I want to understand. The preacher guy from Obama's camp made some statements that seem very unbecoming of a preacher. While I understand that we are human, he is supposed to be able to guide people. That's his job... moral guidance. How can you guide someone with blasphemy and racial dividing? How can you teach about higher powers when your statements are about what consumes you on earth? Wright isn't the only one. Hell, his statements are mild compared to some of the other people. Fallwell blames homosexuality for 9/11. He preaches like G-d has some special place in his heart for America. Again, they seem to think G-d blessed our borders personally and the rest of the world can go fuck off. Just because man placed the word "G-d" on their currency doesn't mean we own him. Once again I'm sitting in a place where I have questions with no answers. No explanations. No condemnations. The only thing I have is frustration from sharing a personal thought. Religion shouldn't be a scary thing to discuss on it's points. It shouldn't be a war causing, enemy making, blood spilling conversation. Should it? Odessa: So... Russian roulette question time Yeah, so this week should be interesting. I'm guessing we'll be found in her office, me with my eyes gouged out and her with a broken neck, by the end of the week. Having the same cycle is a bitch when it's your boss. Add to the fact that she can be a royal bitch at ANY time of the month and you've got a one way pass to the unemployment line. Or the police station. Which ever. That's how I feel right now. Shut it down... Shut it ALLLLL down. I don't want to deal with anybody. I don't want to deal with anything. Not work. Not my website. Not... anything. I hate feeling miserable. I hate the pity pot. I would LOVE to be over this mood. This month seems to be really tough for me. Not in a bitchy way either. It's just this feeling of helplessness. Failure. Oh G-d... PMS has made me Emo. Oh yes, the PMS is kicking in. I really miss the every other month deal. One month I'm a bitch, one month not so much. I try my best to dodge bullets by simply sticking to myself. I quietly play my Sims 2 game and keep the IM chit chat to a minimum. I've gotten pretty good at catching stressors before they get out of control. I've noticed a few people that absolutely drive me batshit angry around this time. Any other time and I can shrug off their comments. When the PMS hits I am going for the jugular and *then* asking if it's too much. Typical conversation: Meanwhile last night I went off the PMS meter. It was pretty scary. I was searching for my peanut butter M&Ms and couldn't find them. I saved some just for these types of emergencies. When I realized that Jake ate them I went right into the zone. The psycho zone. On top of that I was feeling like shit (crampy, etc...), and my friend needed me to look up how to reformat his computer after he got an error. I even called Jake during his class (while he was taking a test) to bitch him out. Insanity ruled the household last night and Jake snuck in with a big ole bag of M&Ms held out infront of him. Smart guy... maybe next month he'll leave my sanity stash alone. Fucker... Oh yes, the PMS stick has hit me especially hard this week. It started with a bitch fest between my boss and I that deteriorated into us saying "FINE" back and forth. I think I won that one, but not before my friend left the office practically stapling her finger to stop from laughing. Not one of my finest hours... Then I came home planning on eating a healthy salad only to find some funky ass brand salad dressing that tasted like oil slick. After that I dialed Jake's cellphone and left a bitch mail while looking for some Chili to cook and went balistic when I couldn't find any. After throwing myself into my chair and bitching about him in the IRC channel I went back to see if there was anything to cook. I stood on a chair and found a lone can of Chili shoved in the back... in a plastic bag. Then there was the cheese. Use before July 16th... Oh yes, I was NOT happy. Luckily for my boss (and myself) she isn't going to be in the office for the rest of the week. JakeD is SOL... The one thing that annoys me about StumbleUpon is that there are some people who just love shoving their opinions down your throat. It doesn't happen often, so I usually ignore them. Tonight was different. I had a shitty day at work, a bitch of a drive home and just wanted to relax for a few hours before having to deal with more shit tomorrow. So when I clicked onto my inbox I was looking forward to some friendly hellos from my friends and perhaps a review or two. *cough* What I got was a clearly confused person who either !: Didn't catch on to the username J00wish as being religious or B: Knew I was and was trying to convert me. Either one didn't sit right and I decided to let loose with my PMS on him.
So yeah... leave me alone. Last week was fun. And by fun I mean sucking donkey balls. It was my first week back at work, so of course my boss starts in on me. I am still pretty weak so working is tough already. Tuesday we were at each other's throats. She was blaming random shit on me that I had nothing to do with. A nurse misses a call: My fault. A coworker forgets to give her info from before I was back: My fault. It was getting stupid. I bitched at Jake only to hear, "Honey. Don't forget you just started your period and you two are on the same cycle." Fuck! So I shot her an email that simply said, "FYI: I started yesterday." She came back and asked me what it meant. I said, Me: Think about it. What happens once a month... usually around the same time we're at each other's throats. After that it was much better. I told Jake and he just shook his head. "I don't get it. How can two people be going for the jugular one minute and laughing about it the next just because it's hormonal?" Welcome to the whacky, crazy, scary world of women, honey... Okay, maybe just a little. Yesterday was one of the tougher days. I couldn't sleep all night. I was hungry. I was dizzy. I was pouting. I was... in pain. I fucked up and ate lasagna, which is a no no. What I really want is a normal meal. Some salad, diced potatoes and chicken. I just want to get back to feeling right. My stomach is still not right and everything I have makes me feel icky. Ew. I'm whining. Did I mention PMSing? *looks up* Guess not. This is a shitty week for me and an even shittier week for Jake. I also hate that I'm stuck in this fucking apartment and have nothing else to write about except being stuck here. *sigh* Maybe I should just take a hiatus until I get out. Blah. Okay, I am majorly annoyed at this IT chick at work. My Boss somehow met with "C" a while back and she talked my boss into automating our reports. I explained that the data was not clean and I had to do a lot of tweaking. C assured me (in front of the boss) that it would be as easy as pie. I remained HIGHLY skeptical. With B's blessing I removed the extra work we had done and stopped the nurses from doing it. Let me do a brief explanation. If a patient calls we refer them to Doctor A. Three weeks later we check the hospital system to see if that person made an appointment. If they did we check off an area next to the doctor's name so they can see we gave them that patient. If the patient called up and was told Doctor B could see them sooner and saw them we had no way of showing Doctor B we sent the patient there. Enter the text fields in our report. I added all the doctors names into a field so we could select Doctor B if that happened. The problem? It's really not a reportable field. I'd have to count how many times each doctor got a patient and add it into the first section. Confusing? I thought so. M's idea was to change the computer date back to the referral date and enter a NEW referral with Doctor B in it. That made it a lot easier. C said we didn't have to do this so everyone stopped. Two months ago C was supposed to have automated everything. She told me she didn't want me to do ANYTHING, just send her the raw data. Ooookay. She got back with me a couple of weeks later with a completely wrong number. We went back and forth, with me trying to explain why each part was going to be hard to do. She sends some data to my boss who asks why the numbers are so wrong. "Well, that's the data Diva sent me!" Then B bitches at me about sending wrong data and I have to explain that she asked for it that way. HIGHLY annoyed and now late I am told I have to hand count over 500 appointments because it's not going to be ready. Same thing last month. This month my boss asks me to meet with C and find out what's going on. The fact that she's uber creepy aside, I don't trust her. Nonetheless I email her for a meeting. she replies, but then cancels. She reschedules and is a no-show. I start working on the month end again. I also decide to populate another text field to try and make the process easier. That's 1600 doctors I have to go through. I email about this to C and she says not to do anything until we meet. Not wanting to be burned again, I ignore her. The My boss emails her and schedules a meeting. Magically she shows up at my desk the day before to see if there's anything we should talk about beforehand. I show her the new project and she starts bitching about my boss. She said B has to give up some of the data she wants. That it shouldn't matter if we get 51% vs 49%. I told her it does but she's welcome to tell B that in the meeting. She said she'll set some things straight. Riiiight. The day comes and my boss is in a mood. You know, the 'nothing you do is right' one. We meet and she smiles at C and frowns at me. C is chipper and talking about how close we're getting. Blah blah blah . Nothing about setting her straight even came up. I finally said, "Aren't you going to tell B about having to give up some numbers?" She looks nervous then says, "Oh no! With this new data everything should be fine!" Fucking bitch! We leave and I am highly annoyed. I asked my boss about one report and she jumped down my throat about not telling her about another report we agreed to and to get C back. She comes back in and they have a pow wow while I'm printing the fucking report. I walk in to them saying, "Oh, it's no problem. Good!" Then B gives me the look like 'I can't believe you had me pull her back'. I wanted to scream. I interjected one thing and then the meeting was over. Right before lunch I tried to tell B some concerns I had about C. She jumps down my throat about not saying it in front of her and starts to lecture me about how I *should* have done this. I yelled, "FINE! Forget it!" and started to stomp out of the office. She tried smoothing it over with one of those, 'It's just that it works better that way' bullshit. I looked at her for a second and snapped, "It's about that time of the month, isn't it?" and she stopped. She responded pissily, "I guess it IS." I walked out of the office bitching, "Yeah, I THOUGHT so..." and she was nicer for the rest of the day. It's a real bitch to be on the same PMS cycle as your boss.... PS: You know I'm PMSing when one post is longer than the rest of the month combined
[keywords: Work pms boss coworkers Creepy_IT_Chick]
Posted by Diva on August 30, 2006 | Comments (0) That's one way to put it. Rather, it's how my boss did. Me, I'd just say I'm having *raging PMS from hell and just back the fuck away.* As a matter of fact, that was my response to her. Yeah, today was fun. If there's a heaven when I die the first thing I'm doing is looking up that Eve chick and slapping her upside the head. It might get me into hot water with the Big Guy, but I think he'll understand. Come to think of it, I'll bet it's almost a tradition. She won't be hard to find, either. She'll be the only person walking around in full body armor. I'll find a weak spot, bitch... Okay, If I'm not PMSing then there is something seriously wrong with me. Jake's MySpace hoochies bug the shit out of me, some chick mentioned something on my friends' profile about being in the top eight friends and I noticed I WASNT and almost posted a whiny ass comment. I'm feeling this needy, icky feeling that's driving me insane. Bleed, damn it! Seriously, this is bad. I think I could break bones with this attitude. The worst part is that I would probably enjoy it right now...n I didn't eat the apple. Hell, I don't even like apples I'm cramping and bleeding. There, I said it. When I was growing up 'girl stuff' was strictly for chicks to talk about. Nowadays it's a topic everyone deals with. The other night I was fussing about not feeling good. Bane asked me what was wrong. Out of habit I hesitated... only to have him say, "Are you cramping?" It made me smile. I keep forgetting how comfortable people are with normal bodily functions these days. Some say it's being brought up with girls, or dealing with their mom... but I think it's something more. I believe we are more open about it in our classrooms and with each other. When I was 10 we had a sex ed class. They shuffled the boys into one room and the girls into another. From there we watched an old film on how our bodies are changing. They lightly touched on the boys changes, and when the film ended we were shuffled out again, no Q&A session offered. The boys were talking about how girls change when their breasts get big. I was already a B cup so all eyes were chest level at me. Lovely... I got my first dose of what would be the typical introduction stare from the male gender. You can stop here unless you want to read embarassing girl stuff. Two weeks later my dad took me whale watching. I started feeling sick and headed for the cramped bathroom. Back then toilet paper consisted of folded over sheets, about the size of two crackers. I had started my period and was stuck in the bathroom for most of the trip. When I told my dad he started getting teary eyed. "My baby's becoming a woman." I wanted to die. He took me to the market and had me buy a box of Stayfree pads. The package was huge! I could slap on 4 wheels and make a go cart out of it. He made me carry it all the way to the front, which was torture. I was redfaced, and just wanted to go. I told dad not to embarass me. Fat chance. When we got to the cashier he blurted out, "My baby started her first period. She's becoming a woman!" People at checkstands on both sides of us looked over, and I wanted to crawl under the stand and die. The checker gave me a smile and looked a little sad. Now I know why. And to complete the humiliation on me: Three months had passed and my mother asked where all the pads where going. What I wasn't told was when my period ended I was supposed to stop wearing them. Needless to say, I felt like a complete moron when she started taunting me about it. My dad tried cheering me up about it... but his giggling only made it worse. Back to the present. I look forward to the stress of worrying about my job to be over so I wont be bleeding every two weeks. Oh yeah, and will someone please tell my boyfriend that trying to make me feel better by saying it might be pre-menopause is NOT going to help. KTHXBAI!!1 |
|
  Link Queue
 
 
 
 
 
|
|
