This morning was... embarrassing. I got up around 2 a.m. to do my usual pee and was followed into the bathroom by Phoebe. During the day all three cats HAVE to be in there so I'm relieved to just have the one. There's nothing worse than having an audience while you do your business. Anyway, I was doing mine and leaned over to pick up a string on the floor when Phoebe decided it was lap time. For some reason she only jumps on my lap there. Mid jump I bend over and she has to scramble. My leg gets a nasty scratch and she ends up on my back. So here I am trying to reach around and gently pull her ass down so she doesn't scratch and she decides to play. She lays down, half rolls and I panick. That's all I need is for her to slip and scratch my back. I have both hands behind my back trying to steady her while quietly asking her to get the fuck down. I thought of calling Jake, but didn't want to deal with that scar either. I'm not a prude person by any means, but I can't deal with two people in a bathroom while one is on the toilet. It's just... weird. After a few minutes of Phoebe purring while chewing on my fingers I tried a hail Mary approach. I grabbed the string and wiggled it in from of her then tossed it across the room. Phoebe happily jumped down to get it and I sat up to view the damages. A bloodied leg and funny story I wasn't going to be able to tell to many people. Not bad for having to pee.

Yesterday was wrapping day at our house.

Number of presents to wrap: 1.
Number of times paper was pulled out to wrap: 4.
Number of times Phoebe dive bombed into the middle of the paper, ripping it to shreds: 3

I was sitting at the computer with Phoebe when her ears perked up and she took off down the hall like a bat out of hell. The next thing I hear is paper crumpling and Jake yelling, "G-d damn it!" She waltzed back out only to do it again. By the third time Jake learned to listen for her galloping and pulled the paper out of the way. I was no help, laughing and calling to her. I can't imagine wrapping any other gifts. If we have to I'm getting video of it. :D

Once again the bed monster appears. Phoebe jumped onto the bed and woke me up. She ran under the covers and attacked my leg, so I yanked her naughty ass out of there. Finally she settled down on Jake's pillow. I was half asleep when I felt her tail tickle my nose. I opened my eyes to see her walking on Jake's pillow towards his face. Suddenly he lurched up, pulling the pillow towards him and flipping poor Phoebe into the wall. Luckily she wasn't hurt. He yells something as I yell "Phoebe!" and grab for her. He looks at both Phoebe and I... then grumbles something about bad dreams, puts his head down and goes to sleep. Any remedies for sleep walkers/talkers/yellers? Besides duct tape and sleeping pills, that is...