Today I decided to start pushing my coworker to get her tuckus in gear so we could train on my reports. This has been an ongoing drama. Mind you, she promised to do this so I could go on vacation in return for me relieving her. After learning Friday that she didn't have access to the area needed I asked her to email the person listed for said access. this morning I asked if she received a response. After sifting through her various emails she said no. Fuck this shit. I got on the phone to call the person and was told they never received an email and to please resend. After hanging up she said she forgot to send it. *grumbles* A half hour later she STILL didn't send it. When the email finally went we received a response saying she should have access and to please try. Forty minutes later I said that if she didn't at least check I was going to pitch a fit. She said she'd check... but didn't have time to train. I stared. I opened my mouth. I just stood there. She didn't even read the detailed instructions (READ: six pages) that I wrote. After checking and giving me the thumbs up she added, "Don't worry if I don't do this right. It will be on me that I didn't do it and not you." WTF!?! I think my heart stopped for a moment. She said it as if she was ordering tea. I couldn't even respond. Apparently the work I do isn't important to her so she's ignoring the fact that I busted my ass to create it. Some people can just shrug things like this off, but I can't. When I use the numbers I want them to be right. I have the top brass reading them.

Later on she decided to do an admission to 'get used to it'. She ignored my instructions and didn't write down a damn thing. Again with the lack of consideration. Her desk is piled high with duties and none of them are done. At the end of the day I was so annoyed I said that my old boss taught me something very valuable (yes, she actually taught me good things). She taught me to speak up BEFORE I get overwhelmed so I can get help. That way I don't produce a bunch of half assed projects instead of some that I am proud of. I don't think she even got it. At 4pm she mentioned that we'd train tomorrow. You're damn right we will.

Today I reminded my coworker ONCE AGAIN that I need to train her on my reports. Excel might as well be Notepad with her so all my formulas are a waste. I'm dreading what I will come back to. I've had to explain how to cut and paste three times and that's just the beginning of my report data. As much as I dread it I need the vacation so bad I'm willing to risk a few days of fucked up data. In the end she's higher than me title wise so if she fucks it up they'll be looking at her over me. In the end I'm training on the report, not the programs used. I don't care how she gets the numbers. Hell... she can pop off her shoes and count fingers and toes for all I care. A week and a half of nothing to do with UCLA is all I ask. I plan on being low key and really enjoying my time with Jake.

It's been so hectic at work I have had little to no time to goof off. Horrible... I know. This weekend Jake and met up with a fellow Gamerchix and new found friend. We braved the idiots in the rain to munch on sea food and chat about everything from games to life. I had a complete blast. It's so hard to find a friend who I can chat with games about and get along with on a personal level. Bonus points for Jake and her getting along too. I look forward to meeting her hubby soon.

Monday was hell day for me. It's busy, which is good. My only worry is that my coworker is going to wait until the last minute to want to be trained and I am going to be so busy I won't be able to properly train her. My reports are getting so complicated it's just silly. I've been trying to update the instructions and it's more like a treasure map. Part of me wishes I could suspend the report until I get back. Yeah, as if that's gonna happen. By the time my mini vacation arrives I'm going to be too tired to do shit.

I've had three doctors tell me that I look sick and need to get blood work drawn. *sigh* I know I'm not doing well. I don't eat enough and need to exercise more. In short... I suck at taking care of me. Part of me is nervous about actually getting the blood work done. I am almost positive that most of it will say malnourished. It's tough to keep up. I need to find a way to eat better. I need to have someone take care of me. Most of all... I need to stab my coworker in the face for playing an all Christmas Music station that is forcing me to listen to Wham sing Last Christmas.

Eight hours of discussing death, gossip and general discontent has made me a horrible person. In short... I'm fucking sick of hearing about it. The man who died is a wonderful person and deserves all the praise he is getting. It's the overkill that is making me want to jump onto my desk and scream at the top of my lungs, "FOR FUCK'S SAKE HE'S DEAD AND BURIED ALREADY. CAN WE NOT RELIVE IT EVERY FIVE MINUTES!?!?!?!?!" I've heard about who didn't pay their respects and various theories/guesses as to why. Who said inappropriate things and various theories/guesses as to why. What they should and shouldn't do for the memorial (they cut it down from THREE to one so far). Finally, what everyone should do for said memorial. She even went as far as saying the Christmas party should be held in his honor. He's Muslim.

I'm usually the most compassionate person. I can sit and listen to problems, worries and concerns for hours. I love to help and console people. my coworker's various family/friend deaths (three so far in the week) and the man who she was discussing has tipped my Care-O-Meter into the red. It got so bad I literally went into the bathroom for a breather. The calming sound of the air conditioner was a nice break from all the drama. At this point I'd take eight hours of James Blunt's Your Beautiful over this crap.

Edit: Strike that ONE memorial. The count is now officially TWO. *slams head into desk*

Today was "Annoy My Coworker Day". From the moment she stepped foot into the office she was telling me about some idiot who managed to harsh her mellow. I sat there stunned, as more calls came in and more idiots pissed her off. I feel for her, I really do... But I'd rather she be annoyed quietly. Nine hours of non stop bitching when it doesn't involve things that I can bitch about is taxing. All I could say was "I know!" or What an idiot!" or "Kill me now!". Oh wait... that last one was the thought going through my head the whole time.

While at work I got the notification that my Assassin's Creed 2 game was delivered. Oh really? I clicked on the tracking and the delivery said, "at the front door". WTH!?! So now I have to rush my ass home so no moron rips off my $60 game (with pre-order goodness). I knew I should have just picked it up. There. I complained.

This day is awesome. My coworker and I have been bitching about pretty much everything and everyone today. It's like we're in a battle to see who can be more annoyed at every little thing. So far she's wiping my ass all over the office. I'd be annoyed if it wasn't so humorous. She's usually not very frustrated so it's a treat to see her go off about all the stupid shit that she has to deal with. It's nice to know that I can look back on this day and say that for once I didn't own the bill for the Waaaaaambulance.

My biggest gripe was that guy who kept telling me I was going to get new job duties. Today he bitches about our doctors schedule not having the first initial so they would know who to page. Nevermind that they're supposed to page a specific pager so it doesn't mean shit WHO is on the schedule. I told him that I would take care of it and that was that. A few hours later he calls to tell me he complained to another doctor who is the liaison for our department. WTF!?! After asking him why the hell he bothered that doctor after I had told him that I was taking care of it he gave me some lame assed response that meant he basically wanted to whine. I told him, "Fine. Whatever. I have just finished updating the whole schedule so when he calls I'll let him know that you are calling multiple people about a non issue and it's taken care of. He'll be pleased, I'm sure". That went over about as well as him telling me that he went around me with an issue I was already working on. I spent the rest of the day being amused at his attempts to be snarky to me. I love my job, it's the UCLA employees I could do with out.

No, I'm not talking about blondes brainstorming. My coworker and I are battling for what temperature our office could be. After MONTHS of being frozen solid they finally came in to regulate our air. Now she's miserable and I'm enjoying being able to type without worrying about my fingers breaking off. I'm sure she'll find a way to have it changed back but in the meantime I am happy to have won the skirmish. My favorite part was when she told the guy that it's harder to be cooler and I can just wear warmer clothes. WTF!?! Why should I have to try and type with frozen hands and have my legs aching so she can be comfy? I piped in that what warmer clothes is one thing I can't type with gloves so that kinda defeats the purpose. I have doctors on both sides screaming about how cold their offices are and she wants to be comfy. Buy a bigger fan.

On Friday Jake and I got to see my family again. It was a blast. Di cooked a great meal and I loved chatting with them all. I think my favorite part of the night was seeing Tru ride Jake around piggy-back style. He loves my family and was just as happy to see them as I was. Yeppers... I have some cool relatives and their spouses are just as cool. It was hard to leave. Di said that we will get together sooner and I'm looking forward to that. :)

Yesterday my coworker came back from her meeting with some live vaccine of the swine flu (taken nasally) for the doctors to take. After talking about it needing to be refrigerated she turns and pops it into... wait for it... OUR refrigerator. Right. Next. To. My. Lunch. *blink* I did a quick "WTF" and started my protests. She agreed to at least put them into a bag. This morning the doctors shuffle in and she starts handing them out. They sit down, open the thing and use the vial. First, it drips out of their nose and onto the floor. Then the first doctor starts to toss the vial into my trash. MY trash. Fuck that noise. I scream out, "WAIT!!!!" and look at my coworker.

Me: "There's GOT to be a sharps container around here. No way is that something that should be discarded into the trash."
Her: "Oh. We don't. I don't see the prob..."
Me: "I do! It's dripping out. It's open. It's NOT sitting near me."
Her: "Okay, I'll place them into a cup and take them across the street."

The rest of the day was a battle between me being uncomfortable and her making me feel like it was no big deal. Food sitting next live viruses, sealed or not, creeps me out. It's not healthy, not sanitary and not appropriate. Anyway... At least I won the battle of the sharps container. *hoists flag up*

Come on, folks, it's not that hard to do. Every day I have to go through a four way stop to get to and from the parking lot at work. Across, and over... it's that simple. Not. Anyone who's ever visited Southern California knows that there is some sort of mental block on how to use a four way stop. It's to the point of being comical (or infuriating if you're Jake). Add pedestrians who don't understand (or care about) how it works and you've got a daily annoyance on your hands. Me? I look to see who pulled up first and walk the other way. Anyone else either walks or stands there, flagging everyone by. Yeah... the latter of the two will NEVER get home.

Last night it was everyone leave on time day. Instead of the usual group walking they chose to just randomly walk on both sides. This made it so no one could drive. Enter the honking drivers. By the time I got across to the parking lot it looked as if there was going to be some sort of brawl. Helpful hint to the pedestrians: You'd lose.

Yeah, that's my day. Every patient had a problem and every doctor had to make it more difficult than it was. I was hung up on, yelled at and jumping through hoops just to smooth things over. This weekend I'm hiding.

I loathe when people start talking to me as if they are over me and can order me around. Remember that guy who told me my job duties were changing? Yeah... so he starts up again today. This time he sends me a request for a procedure. I call him and he informs me it will be 'part of my new duties'. Mind you, they haven't said shit to my boss about this. When he explains what he expects me to do he adds that it's 'clerical work' he shouldn't have to do. Meaning... that's my job. After practically biting my tongue off I told him that until it was discussed with my boss and they decided that it was an appropriate change he should continue to do this. Fucker... I messaged my boss but she was busy so I explained that it was just bullying and I'd talk to her about it when she had a moment.

On the home front we have TWO games that came in today. Brutal Legend and Uncharted 2. Seeing as it is part of Jake's birthday present he gets the honor of playing first (damn it). Ironically the games came just as I finished Crackdown so at least I'll have a new game to play. I'm still waiting for Assassin's Creed 2 to come out. THAT baby is all mine to start off with. I love being in a gamer house.

Today marks my 22nd anniversary at my job. That's right... Twenty two years. I remember when I first started at UCLA. I worked in Patient Escort and thought about going into nursing. I figured it would be a perfect way to test the waters and have an inside lead on future jobs. A few weeks later I arrived on a floor to take an elderly lady down to radiology. I helped her into the wheelchair and rolled her to the nursing station to get the medical records. As we came up to the counter I heard her say, "Ooh noo..." and peered over her shoulder. Her IV line was bleeding and she was wiggling it. Her skin was so thin you could see the needle underneath. I fainted. A nurse, who was bringing the chart to me, caught me as I fell to the floor. I thought I lost my job and any future at UCLA. Luckily the nurse didn't say anything and I wheeled the lady to her destination, staring straight ahead.

Through the years I changed departments, moving up and learning more and more. My current position is all sorts of awesome and one I don't see myself moving from for a long time. I've met so many people here and made so many friends. I've watched residents graduate and become staff, staff get older and retire. There have been bumps and people that made work less than fun. But overall I've loved my job here. It's funny to say that. I can gripe about the time, look forward to leaving and wish on the weekend. In between I'm laughing, working and helping. While my dreams of nursing have long since gone away my desire to help others has always been there. I may not have an MD or RN behind my name but at the end of the day I can go home feeling good about helping someone. Here's to twenty two years and looking forward to more.

Job security is so important these days. If they can find a way to do with less they will. My reports were an ace in the hole for me. No one did them and no one wanted to do them. With the holidays coming up I emailed my boss to ask for time off. Her response was that those are highly sought after days but if I could cross train my coworker she'd say yes. Cross train. Great... first off, my report isn't easy to explain. If it were I'd have it written down and in a binder. There are so many 'off the book' checks to make it's a pain to even explain. My coworker insists that she doesn't like doing this sort of thing and my boss said we'd work perfectly together because I do the tasks they hate to do. Wait, what? I understand she was trying to sound like she's not going to take my job from me and all... but don't make me sound like I clean up the elephant shit at a Circus. I LIKE my job. I LIKE to do reports. Asshole...

This morning I get a call from this guy that I have to work with to get my patients admitted (IE: I can't tell to FOAD if I want my job to work). He announces that my job duties are going to change. Mind you, he doesn't even work in my department. When I ask what he means he responded, "I can't tell you". WTF!?! After asking again with the same answer I tell him that it's pretty mean to do something like this. Then I continue to politely press and he says it's coming from 'the higher ups'. Again with the vagueness. A moment later he starts to back peddle, saying it's a PROPOSAL from HIS 'higher up' (the woman that said my job was redundant on my first day on the job) and the proposal hasn't even been given to my big boss. In fact, it may not even be accepted. I was so annoyed. I dropped the subject and called my boss to find out what the deal was or if she even heard of it. Her response: "That's news to me!". After talking with her some more she added that the guy "didn't even know what my position entailed and that I didn't work for the same system" so he was basically just being a jerk. At the end she mentions having a meeting with them today and will call me by three with an update, which made it sound as if this phantom 'duty change' is still in play. I think what bothers me most is that I have been working pretty hard to make them happy and offering to help in any way to make my referrals go smoother. Having this guy announce that it's going to my big boss when I have no idea as to what it is makes me feel as if there may be something they are complaining about that they are not notifying me of. I would like to at the very least have first crack at working to fix whatever it is. Anyway... I paged my boss like she asked and have not heard back. This day is turning into a really sucky one.

Epilogue: So nothing was mentioned and he's full of shit. HAH! If it's a proposal in the future my boss assured me that the BBs stand behind me and if it's not going to be helpful to our patients they can go spit. *flexes*

At least my hips are better. Jake was doing one of his workouts today and his hip (once again) started hurting. He stopped but the pain only got worse. Three text messages later he's on his way to the X-Ray and I'm waiting to hear while at work. I'm grateful that his doctor was able to see him and schedule an xray on such short notice. Of course the waiting game on the results are going to be a bitch. Is it bad form to be teasing someone about getting old while they're in pain? With his birthday 18 days away it's perfect time to start.

Meanwhile this morning my boss showed up and told me that I'm doing a great job. She said that the big bosses love my reports and everyone stops what they're doing in meetings when the email notification pops up. Then the meeting changes to what the census is and a discussion of the numbers. I was flying high today, that's for sure.

PS: I hit my 10,000!!!!!!!! Actually, it's 10,030GP but who's counting? *grins*

If I had to name this day it would be the "Holy fucking shit you have got to be kidding me" day. I've had so many STOOPID people to contend with it makes my eye twitch. You know, the kind of tic you get right before you start ripping heads off and beating people with their own severed limbs. Laziness just doesn't begin to describe the actions of people I've had to deal with. How hard is it to ask three questions or look up the patient's info in the system? Instead they send my patients on a wild goose chase and I have to clean up the mess. THREE TIMES. Bah.

My new coworker has yet to hit a smooth ride with me. It's MUCH better than before, but she still tends to think SHE makes the rules instead of it being an office where two people work and need to BOTH come to an agreement. This morning started off by some annoying resident once again walking in to grab water. This is the same one that told all the residents she was talking with 'Oh sure, the water is in there' as if my office is a break room. This started a sip N chat session that I finally had to nip in the bud. I tried to assert myself as the alpha female only to fail miserably. She left pissy and I felt guilty. Lovely. I was simply trying to get her to think of this as an office she is okay to come in and get water from, not a public water whole. When I mentioned it to my coworker she said, "Oh, I told them all they could come in and get water here. I guess I should have told you. Sorry." Yeah, that would have been nice. I explained how I had problems with people being inconsiderate in the past and she agreed it was rude. She also said she'd clear it up with the resident. I don't want to come off as some bitch, although if you give me a week I'd get an Oscar for being one.

So help me G-d, if I have to listen to ONE MORE DAY of James Blunt's You're Beautiful I'm going to scream. It's like my coworker's MP3 player is stuck on over-played shitty pop songs lately. Of course there was a break in the madness when she played some Johnny Cash. I almost breathed a sigh of relief until she started singing along... in HIS tone. *slams head into desk*

ANYWAY... I am looking forward to this weekend for the rest and next weekend because I took an extra day off. It looks as if I'm going to need it. Unfortunately Jake wasn't able to take the same day off so we're both having vacation days on different days. :/ It sucks because I was looking forward to just hanging out with him. Right now we're trying to juggle major purchases, bills and planning on the impending furlough so trips are going to be scarce. I still want to just get away together, even if it's just day trips. I really miss those. Hopefully we'll be able to take off for the holiday and do something, even if we don't get to visit his folks.

I love working with snarky idiots. REALLY I do. This one department created a form for me to send to all my clinics so that when the department receives it they know it's from me. There's a part listed for contact name and number so that I can call the clinic if there is an issue. There's this one chick I'll nickname Bitchcow who seems to get a bug up her ass every once in a while and ask for things to be filled out on the forum that don't need to be. Today we ONCE AGAIN went over the 'why don't you fill out the contact information so I call you instead of them' discussion. So ONCE AGAIN I have to remind Bitchcow that the information is for ME and that she should know to call me when she sees the form. You know.. because she was one of the people who helped to create it for me. She starts in about how she needs to know it's from me again and I stop. After a few moments of silence:

Me: "Ummm... Bitchcow? If you didn't know it was from me then HOW did you know to call me to tell me you wanted me to enter it?"
Bitchcow: *silence*
Me: "Yeah... there ya go. It DOES work. Did you need anything else?"
Bitchcow: No.
Me: "Alrighty then. It's ALWAYS a pleasure to speak with you. Talk to you soon!" *click*

Honest to G-d I'm going to find where her office is and smack the stupid out of her. It'll take a while... but it will be worth it.

...to make my BB panic about the numbers. I spent two days (and fourteen emails) trying to find what the reason is without typing the obvious. Finally the other BB did it for me, as well as three other doctors. It's summer. It's a slow time. It's going to be okay. I knew he still wasn't happy with it so I pulled some numbers and did a few reports for him to show where we are patient-wise. Ironically it proved his point. It's slower than the normal slow. I'm going to have a lot of annoyed people on my hands because of it... but that's not my problem. Now they have to show why it's slow. At this point I feel like driving sick people around in a convertible and letting them cough all over the general population. Okay, not really... but the convertible would be cool. Whoever said a sunroof was just like a convertible couldn't afford a convertible. *looks at sunroof and weeps*

...NO. I went down to the cafeteria to check out the menu and stopped by the sandwich counter to chat with the guy there. I heard a slight buzzing sound and looked over to see a man in one of those electric wheelchairs roll up. He was older, but not too old. I smiled and said hello. Apparently he thought that was his opening and started to hit on me. At first I figured it was chit chat. I ordered a sandwich and was about to tell my friend what I wanted on it when he starts asking me what I do, where I work and then where I live. I gave vague answers as each one seemed more personal. He had this super creepy smile on his face and switched looking at my ass and tits like he was deciding which one he wanted to lock onto first. Because I was at work I couldn't give a simple 'fuck off' response. When the guy moved on to if I had a boyfriend and where did he work I started looking at my friend for help. He was slowly making the sandwich... smiling. Apparently my uncomfortable responses amused him to no end. Asshole. I practically grabbed my sandwich and hopped away, leaving mister speed demon to his next victim. And how was YOUR day?

I'm amazed at how many people can't seem to read signs these days. It's almost as amazing as how many of these people seem to think I know every person on this floor and what their hours are. Right as you get out of the elevator it lists where the main rooms are that people come up here for. You have to pass it to go into our section. It never fails that someone decides to totally ignore the sign, see that my door is open and walk in to ask where such and such is or what their hours are. Never mind that I'm on the phone. I've had a few people get really rude when I asked them to hold on. Today this woman started back talking to me, getting loud. I asked the person to hold and told her to follow me. I led her to the elevator, stopped and tapped the fucking sign that she passed. Then I said, "Next time, if you choose to totally ignore the signs telling you where to go at LEAST have the courtesy to wait until someone is off the phone before having them take you to the room. Being rude and loud with your badge showing is NOT a good idea. Got it?" She began to be bitchy, thought better of it and apologized. Stupid cow...

With all the jokes about this guy you'd think the song would be more of an annoyance than a 'hey, let's listen to peppy 80s music'. Yet here I am... listening to this song, compliments of my coworker. Ah yes, now it's slow 80s music time. You know... the kind that makes you want to nod off. My coworker's off key humming is the only thing keeping me awake. When I say 'off key' I am talking ONE key. She has this monotone voice that reminds me of Madeline Kahn in Blazing Saddles. And now it's on to James Blunt singing You're Beautiful. I can't believe I said it was okay for her to play her music in the office. *slams head into desk*

My report was up for debate again today. Honest to G-d, I would just like ONE day where things went smooth. In other news... I went to work wearing two different types of shoes today. One was at least half an inch shorter too. I walked into the hospital and instead of the steady clomping (I make those halls echo, baby!) there was some uneven clunking. I stopped, looked down and couldn't even move. I looked up just in time to see a woman looking down to see what I was so mortified about. She glanced up, our eyes met, and she laughed. I said, "It's gonna be a day!" and started walking. At least I made someone's day.

This morning my coworker asks if it's okay for her to take some time off during the holidays. Sure. No problem. She asks about what mine will be. I comment about hoping Mr. Nosy will be able available so he can do my report for me. She has been too busy to even talk to about it and I have to completely revamp the instructions with all the changes. She mentions how it would be nice for him to do hers since she is so busy. I agree and add that it would be a lot easier since she has so many more things that require a lot of time. With that she tells me she'll cc me in the email to our boss making that suggestion. I mention that I don't like to suggest it since the last time it blew up on me. I start working on a project and she decides to read off what she wrote. She basically told our boss she discussed it with me and we felt it would be better if Mr. Nosy came to do it since it would be impossible for me to do. WTF!?! I never said impossible. Hell, I just agreed that she has a lot on her plate. Suddenly I'm a co-conspirator in getting Mr. Nosy to do her job. *facepalm* I don't know WHY I even walk into these things. After choking on water she changed the wording to say 'difficult'. I still feel like my boss is going to raise her brow at this. But hey! The good part is she'll be taking time off.

This morning I rushed into my office and noticed a message on my phone. It was a voice mail from my coworker. Apparently she forgot to do something and wanted me to help her. Sure. No problem. I turned on my computer and my email popped up... with a message from my coworker. She was asking me to do the same favor for her. Okaaay. Like I said, no problem. I got up and my phone rang. Guess who it was. Yeppers... she was calling me from home to ask if I could do the same favor she asked me to do in the email and the voice mail message. Besides the fact that I didn't officially start for a few more minutes it was annoying to have someone make me feel like they had to ride my ass to do them a favor. Bah.

With all the discussions of pay reductions, furloughs and people being laid off I am trying to think of how I can buy some of the things we need for the apartment. My credit card will be paid off in a few months, which will really help ease the strain once the furlough starts. I'm itching to use it to buy the furniture but really want to wait and see how bad it's going to be. The 21 days went down to 16 for me, which is nice. With my friends still looking for jobs while others are just losing them I am just thankful I have mine and knock on wood that this economy starts to turn around soon.

Sometime within the next few months (as soon as September) both Jake and I will probably be forced to take a pay cut. It's 'supposed' to only last a year. Yeah... you know how that goes. What sucks is that it's both of us, so our household will be hit hard. I'm already trying to think of ways to reduce our budget. We only live a few miles from work so I keep thinking about losing the parking. It's over $600 a year, which is insane when you think about how cheap the bus is. It's nice to have the freedom of leaving whenever you want and driving in a car that doesn't have a passenger who smells like piss (hush, Pos). The only good thing is that I have a big bill that's about to be paid off which will free up money to ease the pain. Isn't that the way it always is? Get some extra cash just in time for an extra bill to show up. *sigh*

I spent this entire week half sleep-walking through work. It's been so hot in our apartment that my sleep lasted about 4 1/2 tops... waking up every hour or so. I wake up, Phoebe goes into play mode. I think I've played with her for ten minutes almost every night this week around 3 am. By the time I have to wake up it's like I pulled an all nighter and need to crawl into bed. I'm hoping it cools down for the weekend so we can sleep in some. Sleep and play games, that is.

Today I got to see the residents who 'came to my rescue' during the moth incident. I found out they are switching to a new specialty next week. Thank G-d. I thought I'd have to see their smirking faces for the whole month. My smirking friends are a whole other issue. *glares at Dina*

That's right, baby. This weekend is starting out pretty damn awesome. If it were food it would be made of awesomesauce.

First things first... the socket. Jake and I ran to OSH's to grab a volt tester and some surge protectors before going home to what was expected to be an annoying night. Then Jake clicked the 'RESET' button and jiggled the socket. Suddenly things started beeping and turning on. Music to our ears. Annoying music, but still... Back we went to OSH to return two of the items. I figured we'd switch around some of the plugs just in case.

Now for the census. *dances around* I came in to another email from the BB with a CC to the other BB. He wasn't happy that the numbers didn't seem to match.*facepalm* He even listed all the floors and the numbers he got to show me. I replied with my numbers, showing that I looked through all floors and showed him my stats. An hour later he responded that the numbers are right. GAH! I was so relieved. I thought for sure he was going to pull some random patient out that I overlooked. The numbers are literally off by three. THREE. He also ran his numbers at a different time, which would explain why they didn't match. I was so happy to have him give me that email I was hopping around. I am really looking forward to kicking back with Jake and just enjoying each other this weekend. :D

I got an email from one of my BBs (with the other CCd) showing the census numbers he got that are slightly different than mine. Mind you, he goes into each patient to see what they are. He also tells me one of the doctors Mr. Nosy said was ours is in private practice and asks me to break down how I do the whole report. I wanted to scream. My coworker decides to show up at work (2pm) and is in a chatty mood. I have the look of fear in my eyes and she is just chit chatting about shit I could give a rat's ass about. I mention what I'm doing and that I have to recount numbers, etc... and she still talks while I'm doing it. WTF!?! An hour later I finally shoot off the response and pray that I don't end up chasing my head down the block. It's 20 minutes until I leave and I haven't heard a response. *siiiiigh*

My biggest frustration with this report is that it went from a simple FYI to a major report that the heads off the hospital get. Any changes are a HUGE deal and I am constantly under the gun to make it better. Both my BBs expect something different from it which makes it impossible to do. It would be like creating two reports. One internal and one external. I don't mind doing both, but don't ask me to combine it so I have to explain to every one of them how it works and what each number means and why. I am expecting some less than pleasant response by one of them in the near future. Yeah, this is going to be fun...

I have five minutes until I leave. Five minutes to try and be productive. I have a report to finish, a report to begin, three reports to create and over thirty patients to research data on. And yet the only thing I am doing is blogging about those five minutes as they slowly tick by.

Today I spent twenty minutes meeting with one doctor and forty five minutes talking to a hospital administrator about her love life. In the end the forty five minutes chit chatting seemed more productive. Do you know what was my biggest accomplishment of the day? Finishing my blog with one minute to spare.

Today my coworker decided it was time for some Thriller... then the 70s music started. Right now I'm listening to "To Be Real". Remember that song? Yeah, now I do too. The difference is I have to listen to the whole thing. If I have that song stuck in my head tonight I'm going to start playing really bad gangsta rap. Shit that I have to wear ear plugs for. I might even dress the part. That's right... pants that hang off my ass, Jake's boxer shorts, an over sized teeshirt and some really big gold colored necklaces that say "OY" instead of "YO".

I've decided to get my hair cut again. I let it grow for a little bit to see if I could find another style to try out. So far nothing. I like the short hairstyle but the upkeep is expensive. I'm not about to go slumming it at Super Cuts. I might as well give some scissors to one of my nieces and tell them to have at it. They'd probably do a better job.

Jake has been fighting a losing battle with a head cold lately. He's so good at eating healthy that it's got to be something really bad to knock him off his feet. That makes me nervous. If it did that to him I can only imagine how I'm going to react. Needless to say I've been trying to stay away from him. We've got so many things planned this weekend I am hoping he's able to kick it by then. *sigh*

Work has managed to pick up some speed, which is nice. Yesterday I had yet another issue with the new gal. I was talking to her about a case and she decided to jump in and start making calls. Never mind that I had it completely under control. She dials the guy's number before I can say stop and I pitched a major fit. Then she hands the phone to me. After a brief conversation I attempted to tell her that I was in control of the situation and was not in need of any help. She announces it's her job. I shoot back with something along the lines of "Nuh Uh!" but more professional-like. I also added that we're equal job level wise. She snaps at me that 'She doesn't think so. She's over me'. Instead of flipping out verbally (facial expression-wise I was beyond that) I emailed a friend who is over her for advice. Instead of responding to me I am assuming she sent her an email directly. I get back from a break only to hear her say, "I owe you an apology." I responded with a chipper, "Oh really?" only to hear her explain that an email magically arrived from a meeting she had a week ago that clarified she and I were equal. We both have separate duties and ne'er the two shall meet... unless she needs help or visa versa. I wanted to do an "IN YOUR FACE" dance, complete with pointing and a really loud manly yell. Instead I smiled and said that I was glad THAT was cleared up and she added that now we could get back to doing work. I feel bad for her to a point. She was thrown into a position that she didn't want with next to no real explanation of what her duties were. She said that the fifteen minute conversation she had with our boss the day she arrived was the most she had heard. She also complained that she was never given a job description. I agreed that it was a shitty situation all around but that I was very comfortable working with her (youseewhatIdidthere?) and that we were going to work very well together. Then I lowered my head below the monitor screen and snickered quietly to myself.

The meeting ended up going very well, despite my new coworker trying to make it seem as if she had to convince me to be a team player. The fact that she repeated the same thing over five times made it even less likely that they would believe her. I explained my side and my boss actually gave a sigh of relief. It was a miscommunication and she agreed that it was a grey area. W000! The rest of the meeting centered on Ms. Bossy (my coworker's new nickname) and her duties. She would try to offer me up and they would explain that they are discussing HER duties and that mine are set. I was tickled pink. She did throw in that I didn't seem that busy, which I wanted to slap the shit out of her for. It's really none of her business WHAT I am doing. Then she mentioned me helping with part of her work and I tossed it back at her (politely). She needs to understand that our jobs are different and while they compliment each other I am not her bitch.

Earlier in the day Ms. Bossy told me that she was basically told she HAD to take the position. Ouch. They offered it up, she said no. They said wrong answer. She went from being a supervisor to a party of one. No wonder she was so gung-ho about telling me what to do. The next step is to walk carefully around her. No chit chat, no discussion about the job. *puts on face paint* It's war, baby. Okay, maybe not. But still... *puckers lips* I needed to freshen up.

The question is: what's happening with my job? After a HORRIBLE day yesterday in which the new coworker got my boss involved and made me sound like I was obstructive (not even asking me the details) I called my boss to find out what the hell is happening. The new gal said my job is changing, the protocols are changing and that she was in meetings pertaining to this. I was less than thrilled. My boss assured me it was simply a clarification but then said we HAVE to make this work. Personally I have no problem with working with her. My issue is that she seems to know more about what's happening with my job than I do. At first my boss was going to meet with us on Thursday. She emailed today to say it would be at 4pm. Luckily the new gal and I had talked for a while and hammered out some details. She emailed our boss to let her know all is well and that I was on board with the team. I was slightly miffed at that since I didn't think I was ever OFF board, but whatever. I think today will be important for two reasons. First it will clarify what is changing and what they'd like me to do. Secondly I will see if the new gal tries to make it sound as if she's the reason things are better and not that she totally missed my point and asked for clarification elsewhere without even letting me know. Even our boss said that she should have CCd me. yeah, thanks for that. I'm hoping the meeting will be positive and I'll walk away with my job. Beyond that... I can't wait for the weekend.

And the hits just keep on coming. Today was tiff number two with my new coworker. She went from saying that my protocol would change to saying she never said that. She also spoke about meetings and made them sound as if they happened recently only to clarify that it was before she came here. I am so sick of not knowing what the hell is going on but scared to death to clarify. I don't want to sound as if I'm not a team player. I don't want to seem as though I am hard to get along with. I just want to make a set of rules that everyone can be happy with.

The economy is so fucked that I don't have the slightest chance of starting over somewhere new. Even with my experience here it's not enough to get me into the door of some places. Hell, it's enough for them to close it. The pay scale is nothing like outside and to be hired in another area I'd still be middle to top of my rate. No one wants to start someone out there. *sigh*

The new coworker is... interesting. First we had a tiff over how to do admissions. Later on a doctor came into the office and we met about one of the newer duties I have. After 10 minutes she jumps in and says that she will be taking that over. News to me. So here I am, looking like an ass and wondering why I spent ten minutes working out details on a duty I'm not even doing. After I did a half-assed recovery statement the doctor left with a confused look on his face. Way to go... Then she turns to me and announces that she's not here to take my job. She goes from dismissing Mr. Nosy because she needs clarification about her duties to confirming what part of her duties are (when it makes me look bad) and then assuring me she's not going to do mine. She will supposedly find out her duties by Friday. This should be interesting. She's not that bad to work with, I just wish we'd have some true clarification on who does what so I can get on with not worrying about my job every day.

I signed up for a contest this week with other XBL people. The most gamer points gained in a week. I know that I'll lose but it will be fun to try. One game I WON'T be getting the score with: Wolverine. Killing Deadpool on Hard Mode has been kicking my ass all weekend. Saturday night I stayed up until 3am just trying to wind down after not being able to get that last achievement. It's not even about the score. It's about me doing something all the way through. This morning I almost had him too. I decided to stop and not try again. I can't imagine going to work that pissed off. Especially about a game.

I'm nervous as hell about my job. We haven't heard anything from my boss in regards to the new arrangement (for my friend or me). All I know is that someone else is going to be in my office starting next week and that she will assume some of my friend's duties. Reorganization is a funny thing. They can start out one way and suddenly spiral into something completely different. That's where I get nervous. I don't want them to start thinking this new person (new to office, not the university) can also do my duties and kick me out of a job. Irrational at best... but then again I never expected this to happen either.

I keep thinking back to the day where I put my foot down about being someone's assistant. It's turned into 'shoulda/woulda' thoughts. Mr. Nosy has been scarce which is nice in that I don't have to feel some irrational desire to stand my ground. But it also makes me nervous. Let's face it... everything is making me nervous. I keep holding my breath, waiting for something to get better in the economy but it looks like the long road ahead of us has just begun.

It's been a really interesting couple of days. And by 'interesting' I mean 'scary as fuck'. Yesterday we had a 4.0 while I was at work. You know... in the building that is going to be torn down eventually when the new hospital wing goes up. Why is it being torn down? Because it's old and not retrofitted for earthquakes. My friend and I stared at each other and held our breaths. We're ten stories up and technically on the roof. I actually have to go that way for the stairwell. Yeah, that's going to be fun. Last night I did a quick check of the apartment and to of the cracks are now all the way across the wall. Yeppers... we also live in an older apartment building (1950s) that hasn't been retrofitted.

This week is the last week my friend will be with me. I'm scared about the reorganizations and unsure of what the new person's jobs will be. I'm trying to step lightly and again hold my breath. Part of me wants to call my boss and see if there's something in the works with my job. I'd rather know now and start the job search than be stuck with no job in an economy with no promises of getting better anytime soon. Layoffs are happening all over the place and our hospital is taking it's hits. I remember the last time they had layoffs. I met up with a woman almost a year later and she had yet to find a job.

I took the easy way into a career job at UCLA. After my car accident derailed my college I started at the bottom and worked my way up. It took years to do and the only thing I can offer is experience. Looking back at my 21 + years of dedication I am wondering if it's enough to get me past someone who is younger with a college education and willing to work for less. MUCH less. Changes are coming... I just hope they pass me by.

Yesterday was pretty damn stressful, especially after my boss arrived. She told my friend that she would be by in the afternoon, but didn't arrive until 10 minutes before we were supposed to leave. Then she dropped a HUGE bombshell on us. Certain issues happening (did not give details) have changed the needs of the department and my friend would be leaving our location in a week. There will be some 'restructuring' and a woman a have briefly worked with will be moving over into her spot. My friend will be cross trained in several areas so that she can choose which one she wants. Our boss kept reassuring us that this was a good thing and she wanted to keep my friend in the department. I sat there in a daze, waiting to hear my outcome. After our boss finished with my friend she stood up to leave. I practically jumped out of my chair asking, "So what about my position?" Our boss said that nothing was going to change for me except my office mate. I breathed a sigh of relief and instantly felt guilty. I had talked my friend into coming to this department. She left a shitty area that was stable and now is feeling like she's in a free fall. I tried to be positive but in all honesty I don't think it helped. I don't know what's happening on the other end and how these changes will eventually affect me. I was so excited to have my friend here. Little issues aside we work well together and the atmosphere is pretty laid back. Now I'm wondering if this new person is going to be someone I will be able to work around or if it's going to be another hide behind the monitor deal. *sigh* After we left all I could say was 'thank G-d I still have a job'. It's really scary out there...

That was... interesting. I put in a new water bottle and noticed a small puddle on the counter where I grabbed it from. Then we heard the whistling sound. I looked on the bottom (now the top) and there was a small crack but didn't think anything of it. A few moments later we heard a trickling noise and looked over at the bottled water. The water was slowly pouring out over the top and onto the counter, floor and everywhere else. I panicked and grabbed the bottle out, which made a slightly smaller leak start from the bottom. Then I noticed the extension cord. *sigh* After holding my breath I grabbed it and placed it on top. Not the brightest of things to do... From there it was grabbing napkins and scooping water off of the counter. Wet carpet seemed easier to deal with than a warped wooden desk. Then I was off to the bathroom where I dumped the rest of the water from the cracked water bottle into the sink and toilet. After filling a few cups of water to try and lower the level I placed another bottle onto the cooler. With all the dust flying around I didn't want to leave the top uncovered. So of course it started spilling. *sigh* Today was NOT one of my bright days.

*slams head on desk* Honest to G-d, the HELP Desk where I work is nothing short of an exercise in futility. I try to sign onto a program only to get an ACCESS REVOKED message slapped into my face. After two tries I email the Support people. Ten minutes later I get antsy and try it again. That's when I notice a phone number on the side. Oh rapture... I can call. Yeah, that was short lived. The woman that answers is nothing short of bored and not interested in helping me. I explain the situation and she says:

Twit: Okay, open Outlook.
Me: Okay... It's open.
Twit: Ummm. Click on the button that you use if you want to start a new email.
Me: O...okay.
Twit: Now start a new email.
Me: *shoves fist into mouth to keep from screaming* Done.
Twit: Okay, now type out (gives email address)
Me: Wait. This is the email address I said that I sent it to originally.
Twit: Oh. Then you did the correct thing. Now you wait.
Me: Alrighty then. *grumbles*

Why have a number to a help desk that offers NO help? I hung up and asked my friend if I really sounded THAT stupid that I didn't know how to actually start a new email. She laughed. I'm just going to assume that's because it's not true. :p

I guess the person who flipped a switch on me yesterday crapped out whatever was up their butt. All is well. Oy... Then there's Mr. Nosy. He lied to me about not being able to pick something up and made me look bad (and the person very unhappy) when I called for an update. Now the person is annoyed at him (thank goodness) and I am off the hook. I was beyond pissed when they told me about what he said but bit my tongue. There's no need to drag work shit out to other departments. I DID send an email to follow up on our conversation and CCd him. They replied with a thanks for following up and I believe got their point across. Every time I try to find something redeeming about this guy he goes and pulls some bullshit that makes me pissed all over again. The worst part is that he's not a stupid guy. Just lazy. Ah well, at least I won this round.

I'm sitting in a mandatory teleconference meeting, being bored out of my skull. Now that I am in management I have to do all sorts of things I was able to slide by before. This one totally bites. They sent four different documents outlining the meeting and giving a play by play. Now I'm listening to the woman actually read the one document line by line. It's like the worst bedtime story ever. I thought it was so funny how they said the teleconference would save time... yet wasted 20 minutes reading something I could have read in about 2 minutes.

Today also seems the day for sending patients over here without alerting me. I'm doing backflips and sending roses to try and fix all the fires that have been started. It's one thing if I fucked up, but all these errors were from other people. Here's one conversation:

Clerk: Hi, have you gotten any information on (patient name)?
Me: No I haven't. Are you trying to admit them?
Clerk: You haven't?
Me: No... *hears other line* Hold on. Hello, Odessa speaking. (also starts searching for fax)
Annoyed Clerk: Hi, this is Admissions. We have (patient name) here and no one knows anything about them.
Me: ... that makes two of us. Let me call you back.
Me: **picks up line with clerk on it* The patient is in admissions.
Clerk: I know.
Me: I have no paperwork.
Clerk: Really?
Me: Who was supposed to send it to me?
Clerk: ... Ummm... me. I guess I forgot.
Me: .......................

Basically this twit wasted five minutes trying to cover their ass with some imaginary paperwork that was never sent instead of saying they fucked up and need to send me something ASAP. I'd scoff but this was the THIRD conversation that went like this. Is it Friday yet?

In December Mr. Nosy was supposed to order extra room keys for my office. I made the mistake of leaving it in his hands. Late January they finally arrive and were the wrong keys. Numbnuts didn't give them the correct number. Since he has to order them I bit my tongue and left it to him. In February he said they were finally reordered. That's the last time he checked up on it. Fast forward to yesterday when he says he wants to use my key so he won't have to have security let him in every day (which is NO big deal since I had to do it before). Anyway... I call up this woman and he hasn't checked back with her since February so nothing's been done. I was just floored. Now I take over and get the keys ordered the same day. Unfortunately they won't be ready until Monday and he doesn't want to ask for security to do it for ONE day. It's just beyond me... but whatever. Now I have to wait for his ass when I get back so I can get in. He kept saying he gets here around 7:45am. Every time I saw him it was after 8am. *grumbles* I just hate giving my keys up. This wouldn't have even been an issue if he would have FOLLOWED UP ON IT. Lazy cow.

On to better news... I'm taking a week off. YAY. Tomorrow Jake and I will be driving up the coast and having a blast. See ya!

There is no way Mr. Nosy is going to have my butt in a sling for not having time to learn my duties. He hinted that he 'couldn't find' his notes and would I be able to write up some instructions for him. Sure thing, sparky. Seven pages later I let him know they were ready to go. Our boss suggested he come by to practice a few times. I said no problem but he could also practice from the other location with the instructions. She thought it was a great idea and I left it at that. It's now less than three days before I am to leave for my vacation and he hasn't said a word. I figured he'd pull this stunt so he could say he wasn't properly trained and couldn't do all the work. Fuck that noise. Enter my nimble Ninja skills... or something like that. Today I shot off a pleasant email with all the instructions attached to him so he could go over them, CCing my boss. As her response hit my inbox with "Mr. Nosy, have you gone over to do the census" my phone was ringing. Surprise, surprise... Mr. Nosy was asking when I did the census next. I bit my tongue and didn't mention that it was IN THE INSTRUCTIONS and said, "Ipm". He sent off a reply saying he was going to be doing it with me today at 1pm. Yeah... and then he can start reading up on all the other things that I tacked on there and sweat it for the next two days. After that... I will NOT be answering my phone. If he fucks up my job it's all on him. That's all I care about. *looks at clock* Aaaaand he's late. Figures. Guess who's starting without him. You betcha.

My boss's boss asked me who worked on the weekend. I figured they were checking to see if I was keeping the schedule up to date so I sent that. WRONG! I get a curt response saying, 'I didn't ask for the schedule. I asked who was working.' After fetching my head I typed it out for them with a 'Sorry'. When I got a 'Thank you' back I clicked it off and went along my merry way to continue working. No sense in saying anything else.

This weekend I had a complete blast. Friday I got my car back and made it home in time to order dinner. Saturday I got my hair done and went to our friends' house for dinner. We always have so much fun together, I wish we were able to hang out more. Afterwards Jake and I made a late night run to the store so we could relax on Sunday. I figure we needed one day to kick back since we are going to be running around all next weekend and into the week. I am so excited about this trip! *hops around*

So a few friends of mine got laid off. Actually a whole department did. These aren't new employees either. All of them have at least 20 years of service under their belt... if not more. A LOT more. Now they're forced to either retire (if they can) or try and find another job. If the economy were any stronger they'd be snatched up in a second. Well... at least most of them would. Most of them were hard working, ambitious people who put the patients first before anything. After hours, weekends, vacations, sick days... it didn't matter. They'd always end up working. One or two of them, on the other hand, is dealing with a little payback karma-wise for dumping their work on others. Still... I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

These layoffs really made me think about how unstable my job can be. If I piss off the wrong people or don't do stellar work... I can be next. No one is irreplaceable. No one.Everyone used to think that years of service meant job security. Not anymore. This is proof that you'd better be on top of your game. Anything else is just a few sick times or showing up late from looking at the wrong end of a pink slip.

Jake dodged another bullet today. The department he transferred out of was just laid off. All of them. I've known some of those women for years. They were good people, just too comfortable in their positions. They narrowly saved their jobs the last time the lay off bug hit. If the economy was any more stable they'd have no problem finding a position. Right now... *sigh* It's really scary out there. I think this is the first time we've had people that we knew on a personal level lose their jobs. I've known people before, but we were more like acquaintances. When the person is someone you genuinely care for it's harder to swallow. A million things are running through my mind, and all I can think of is that I hope something comes up to ease their minds.

I love my job. Seriously... for the most part it's a great place to be. It's during those moments of stupidity here and there that irk the ever living shit out of me that I wonder what the hell I'm doing here. Take today for instance. ONCE AGAIN I get a call from a section in the admissions office asking me where a patient is that I sent in. I have quite a few that will request future admissions for various procedures, which means I have no idea why Mr. so-n-so didn't show up for his admission ten days after I requested it. Once again I start making phone calls to find said patient. You'd think I would know better by now. So of course the patient is already here. Now they're annoyed, the clinic is even more so and I look like a dolt. The worst part is when I call to alert them of this obvious mistake I don't get any apology. No 'Oops! my bad.' for sending me on a wild goose chase which in turn I hand over to the clinic who then tracks down the patient only to be cussed out for annoying them. The best part... They just called me to make sure I am double checking things before sending them over. WTF!?!

The creepy Librarian popped into my office yesterday, this time she came right up and behind my desk. She stood there, staring at my computer screen. I quickly clicked down my data (HIPAA, anyone?) and asked if she needed something. She did that staring thing that creeps me out to no end and then started talking about how she tried sending some article she got online to a doctor and it didn't work. After trying the easy way out (Her answer to who the IT person was for her dept: 'Oh, I don't know.') I tried to see if I could explain it to her without having to leave the office. A few minutes of her talking made me start thinking violent thoughts. The term 'boot to the head' kept running through my mind and I figured it was time to get her out of my office. I sprang out of my chair and told her I'd come look at it. She said, 'Oh I didn't want to bother you'. I responded, 'Sure you did. You came down here and asked me' before realizing how snarky that sounded. Bah. Once in her office I looked at the document she was trying to send. There was an email to a friend feature on it, but who knows what she did to screw it up. After clicking on save I asked which email she was trying to send the document to. I clicked reply and showed her how to insert the saved document. With that I tipped my invisible hat and went back to the comfort of my office. Two minutes later she's back. Apparently the email she showed me was the wrong one. GAH! I wrote down how to attach the file and explained it to her. She had that 'you mean you're not going to do it for me?' look on her face. I ignored it. She started talking about how she doesn't know computers and I responded with, 'You know, my friend just turned 75 (total lie) and finally decided they wanted to learn computers. They took a beginners course and now can do things on their own. Empowerment is wonderful.' She skulked away, none too pleased with my lack of movement towards her office. Ten minutes later the Creepy Librarian returns and my patience officially hits rock bottom. She starts talking about the SEVEN other articles that didn't work that she needs to resend (have I mentioned I don't even work for the same department?). I told her to follow my instructions and she'll be okay. She starts whining about me going too fast on the saving part and her not knowing how to do it. I told her it's very simple. There's a button on the top left hand side that you click. Then you just make sure it saves to desktop. That's it. Follow my instructions on the paper and you're good to go. She wasn't budging. She started whining AGAIN about me going to fast originally and her not knowing how. I told her that she needed to call the IT people if there is a saving issue (It's more like a user issue) and turned back to my lunch. She started to ask if I could come down as I took a big bite (so I didn't have to talk) and said, "Oh. You're eating." No fucking shit. I said through my food, "Yes. I'd like to finish my lunch while I have a chance." She started to say something again and I stopped her. "Look. I've explained EXACTLY what you have to do three times and you haven't even tried it. I understand that you are panicking. It's something new. At least TRY my instructions before saying you don't know what to do." With that she stomp/skulked away and I thought about closing the door. A little while later she passed by my office, glaring. Whatever.

And now... for a random moment at work: A patient wandered into my office asking where the rooftop was. *blink*

Last night's meeting was less than stellar. I sat around as three groups of doctors discussed my new duties. Each adding their own version and how it should be done. Meanwhile my boss and I just sat there... not saying a word. You could tell that any sort of objection/clarification/recommendation was going to be met with less than friendly responses. Today my boss called and I tried to talk to her about my take on it. Her first response was that she wanted me to not be obstructive. WTF!?! I clarified that trying to make sure there is some sort of procedure put in place that everyone agrees upon BEFORE winging it is not being obstructive. It's making sure that it will succeed. She understood and we talked about the issues, etc... I am not happy with this 'just wing it' attitude I have been getting. First of all there are patients that need to be taken care of. Secondly... it's my ass on the line. I'll be damned if I'm going to just start something without some sort of idea as to how it works, what is needed and who is going to do it. Add to the problem that half of the new duties are dependent on rooms that won't even be available for one to two years... you're damn right I'm freaking out.

My boss also added that I am in a management role and therefore need to start making these decisions on my own. I really like my boss... but this mentoring without being there is getting frustrating. I want some guidance, damn it. First all decisions are to be made on a higher level and given to me. Now I'm 'winging it' and letting her know in case she has any objections or suggestions. She also brought up the ever popular 'learning curve' that I'm on. Without anyone to teach me it might as well be a wall. Straight up, no traction. Here are some skates... go at it.

Jake gets extra kudos for handling my temper tantrum this morning. This weekend I FINALLY got my taxes done. That's at least a month later than usual. Add to it that the State Refund will be an IOU and it's all going to pay off my credit card... I should have mailed that sucker out on Saturday.

Then there's the job. The one thing I requested when I first took this position was a buffer. Two two BBs are doctors, and pretty high up on the totem pole. This means their patience is thin and their line of reasoning may not always be the best when it comes to rationality. They're the kind of bosses that say "I want a nice house" but don't give you any tools to build it with or a blue print to start off. My boss is the person who has been doing this. She understands that houses just don't materialize. It's up to us to work with the contractors, painters, decorators, etc... to create the house and sell the look to them. That being said... I have a HUGE meeting that I was told I am going to tonight. I was also sent random emails from doctors about a job duty I knew nothing about. Enter freak-out mode. I called my boss who said she heard something was in the works but nothing concrete was said. Oy. After telling her about the emails and phone call she said, "It's a good thing that they feel comfortable enough to go straight to you." That wasn't helping. Then she added that I know more about it than she does. Also... not helping. Between the money, wanting to save for our trip next month and my job getting vague duties tacked on that my boss isn't even aware of made me super sensitive. Not full bitch-mode... but yeah. Jake handled the situation wonderfully and is really the only reason I'm not in the corner babbling about the end of the world. I don't know what I'd do without him. Oh yeah... have the XBox 360 to myself.

(I kid. I kid)

So the hospital operator just told me she loved me. No, really. She always calls my number instead of the Emergency Room (it's my number except two digits are switched). I was on a call when my second line rang. I picked up the phone with my regular greeting and heard, "Oh. Oops. I love you!" and then she hung up. I laughed so hard my original caller thought I was laughing at them. It's silly things like this that make me love my job. The people here are so awesome.

If I clenched my jaw any tighter my teeth would shatter. Mr. Nosy just HAD to jump in and now Giddy was sent home. Giddy's doctor responded to an email that she sent explaining a specific ailment that made her uncomfortable. The doctor said that the only way she'd be relieved was to stop working and do bed rest for half a day. She wanted to talk to him about it on Friday and see if she could get a note to work part time for the last week since she doesn't have the money to stop work right now. Mr. Nosy has her forward the email, tells HR that she needs to stop working or is trying to work part time and now she's on her way home. I couldn't even say anything to him I was so pissed. I simply told her (in front of him) that she should not have given him the email until she clarified what she wanted to do with the doctor. It was his final decision to make... and not Mr. Nosy's interpretation of a personal email her doctor sent her. It isn't even an official note!

Now I'm going to be stuck in my office with this moron for the next few months. She had one more week to go... fucker. She also doesn't have the sick time or the money to be taking off. I am beyond pissed at his pushy behavior. I just hate that this is the guy who relieves me so I have to try and be civil to him. Not today. Today I am super bitch.

I called my boss to clarify what the fuck Mr. Nosy's job was in regards to mine and my friend's. I'm so glad that I did. I've been fighting to urge to do so just to try and keep on everyone's good side. I didn't want my boss to think I wasn't a team player and was hoping that he'd mellow out. After he made the statement about me being under my boss and Giddy being under him I new it was time to find out what was up. If he WAS over her, did this mean I was going to be out of a job, etc... After we talked I felt so much better. It seems as if Mr. Nosy is just too zealous and not over shit. She clarified that we are under her, that Giddy's job will be expanding and that all is well in our office. Meanwhile Mr. Nosy was trying to find out why I was in the office with the door closed and who I was talking to. He tried drilling Giddy for information and all she did is shrug. I figured it was best if I left that shit up to my boss so I opened the door and didn't comment on who I was talking to. In the end Mr. Nosy isn't a bad guy... just trying to find his space. While I totally sympathize with his situation he's going to have to look elsewhere. This office is mine, bitch.

Oh yes there was butthurt. Serious butthurt. Yesterday I had had enough of Mr. Nosy butting into my office training and trying to dictate what happens. Ever since my friend ( we'll call her Giddy) arrived he has been trying to be the main trainer and trying to take over the whole process. The hardest part is that there are only two computers. Instead of him allowing her to use it he sits there and makes her sit off to the side. While I didn't mind at first (she was watching me and being trained) it's become a major annoyance. I've been hinting at him about the job he was there to 'create'. He hasn't done shit and it looks as if the duties will be merged into ours and no third person. That's just fine. I have no problem with that. Now he just needs to push to make a decision so we can move on... without him.

Yesterday I finally told him he needed to log off so Giddy could sign on and start working. He decided that it meant he was to pull another chair and coach her on what to do. After a few minutes of this I said, "Mr Nosy, I want her to do this on her own. She won't learn with you telling her. She can ask me questions." He backed off but still sat there. Later on she decided to type her notes out. After watching her and telling her incorrect stuff I started correcting him. Again, he backed off. Then he let her be only to come back and start being nosy. I snapped.

Mr. Nosy: "So... how are those notes coming along?"
Me: "Why? Are you going to ask her for a copy? It's just her personal notes." I also scoffed. Bad form, I know. But I'm fed up.
Mr. Nosy: "No, I'm just being managerial."
Me: "You don't have to. That's what I'm here for."
Mr. Nosy: "I'm not stepping on your toes."
Me: "Yes. Yes, you are. Look. I totally have a heel print on them."

With that I turned and continued my phone call, leaving him standing there. I don't think he's a bad guy... I just don't like that he thinks he can assume duties by simply being in the office. His role in my office is to create a new position or see if it's needed. That's it. My office is run by me and my boss thinks I'm doing a fine job. I shouldn't have to tell someone that just because they're in an office doesn't mean they can start ordering people around. He soooo needs to go. At least I am finally speaking my mind. I am hoping he wants to continue the conversation so I can really lay it down. I honestly don't think he realizes how much of a pain he is. I'm just the person to let him know too.

My boss called me last night to let me know there was going to be some reorganizing in my office. I needed to get rid of the big desk she asked me to get and then get two other desks. As a last minute afterthought she said "Oh and keep the little desk for hotelling for when Mr. Nosy or I need a spot to go". After biting half my tongue off I said okay. I spoke with my friend who was just hired and she's pretty easy going about it. She also knows how annoyed I am about Mr. Nosy being there and isn't too thrilled with him either. Apparently he knows even LESS about what he's supposed to be doing than I lets on. He tried training her one day and she had to show him things. Oy.

It's been so hectic lately I haven't had time to blog as much and it really bothers me. I always feel better after letting it out... and there has been so much going on that I really need to get out. Hopefully we can get the new desks in quickly so everyone can have a spot and then my friend can work.

yeah so... I still have the tooth abscess and have to have surgery. It's the last resort before they have to pull the tooth and then put in some sort of bridge or something. To say that I'm nervous is an understatement. Between that and the whole 'you're going to be mighty sore for a few days' speech I am NOT looking forward to the 15th. I took the 16th off so that I could rest up.

My friend started work this week and so far it's been a blast. The only issue is that they neglected to tell her that they are changing her hours and she's not happy. I think she was trying to suggest I do the later shift... which is a no go. I worked too hard for too many years to have to do that shit. And with Jake going back to school it will be the only time we may have together. I'm just happy that she's here and that Mr. Nosy will soon be out of my hair. He's been especially bitchy lately and I am not amused.

We FINALLY got back online Friday night so I spent the weekend playing catchup with all the websites I frequent. It was nice but by Sunday I was climbing the walls. I really need to get out and go somewhere. There had better be a day trip in the works soon... hopefully set up by Jake.

Rolling right along into the holiday spirit. Bah humbug and all that rot. This year I plan on enjoying myself. I don't have the stress of moderating websites besides my own and one other. No more drama filled chats that make my eyes bleed. My friends are still my friends and the ones that aren't... yeah, it happens. I'm not going to push myself to be the bigger person. I'm not going to stress over things that have happened. I am moving forward and keeping a positive outlook. Those that pulled me behind stay behind. I have Jake by my side and am looking forward to ringing in the New Year with someone who loves me and likes me for who I am. I think this past year has been a true test of my strength as a person. I failed some but ultimately came out on top. I can address the fears at a later date. I'm good with that. Push it back until it needs to be dealt with. No eating away. No more waking up clenching my fists.

My job has gone through some ups and downs... but is currently working on a nice smooth track. Mr. Dickface is the only glitch and honestly he's not much of one. I have the support of my boss and my coworkers. My job itself rocks and at the end of the day I go home feeling as if I did a good job. I look forward to next year and all that it brings.

This shit is so childish it's disgusting. I'm too lazy to look back so this may be a recap. About a month ago I had a doctor (we'll call him Dr. Dickface) come in asking about the new admitting process. I explained to him that an admission form should be filled out and sent to me. I would then give it to the correct people and follow up with the admission. This seemed to make him explode. He wanted to give me a sticky note with a patient's last name and ID number. No diagnosis. No treatment plan. No bed assignment (floor/monitored/ICU) and expect me to just guess as to why the patient is being admitted. When I attempted to ask him questions he stormed out saying he'd do it himself. Fine. Whatever. Later on I spoke with the senior doctor(we'll call him Dr. Cool) and explained the situation. We talked about it some more and it was agreed that as long as he verbally gave me the info I would write it down. Dr. Dickface has yet to say a word to me, even if we are standing next to each other. Last night I wished him a good night and he didn't say shit back. I shook my head and kept walking. Today I get a call from a doctor about a patient he is admitting through Dr. Dickface who is not thrilled that I don't have any info on him. Then I get a call from admissions about the patient. Apparently Dr. Dickface called them directly and when he was told to go through me he pitched a fit and said he didn't have time. They took the info and then forwarded it to me. From there I had to resubmit it. After doing double work that wasted time I paged Dr. Cool and bitched about Dr. Dickface. I asked if I should discuss this with him or one of the BBs. He said he would take care of it, but I am hesitant to think he will. I also told Dr. Cool that if this were third grade this shit would have been over with in two weeks. At this point I may just go to one of the BBs. Especially since he is hampering the relationship I am trying to create with the different areas. All that education... and not one ounce of maturity to show for it.

I'm so happy I could just pee. *pees* Actually I have to but that's besides the point. My boss came by and we chatted about the job. After a few minutes I casually mentioned that my graph I sent out must not have been something they wanted. I did it on a whim to see if they might want to see how we were doing. Plus... I need all the brownie points I can get. Hey... I have no shame. My boss practically yells, "Are you kidding? "BB2" used it in the meeting last night!" I almost fell out of my chair. I was so damn happy. She thought he would have said something. I offered to do the same with insurance and she asked me to send that to him too, saying he might use them in the big meeting tomorrow. I updated my graphs and sent them on their merry way. Hopefully I'll get some feedback on them. I'd even settle for a cookie. :D

I called my Oral Surgeon today over my teeth. I haven't heard back yet so I don't know what the decision is. Aparently the six months he was counting was after the September appointment. That means I have to deal with this abcess until March to see if it goes away. Boo!

I really need to watch my mouth at work. AND my sense of humor. One of the doctors I work for asked earlier if I had called a patient to remind them to come in. I looked at him mortified and yelled, "FUCK!" he laughed and I made the call. He came by later on and teasingly said, "The patient isn't here. You dropped the ball." I shot back, "I don't have any balls." He turned so bright red I needed sunblock. Oy...

OMG! This woman seriously needs to just stop coming to my office. Lately she's been coming by to hint about things. Like the one conference room RIGHT NEXT TO HER OFFICE is dirty. This woman has been here since the hospital opened. Hell, they probably found her under a rock while breaking ground and hired her on. For some reason she thinks it's too much to simply call the environmental service herself and ask that someone come up and clean the room. Instead she comes down to my office and bitches about it to me and Mr. Nosy. When I offer the phone number to her so she can call she says it shouldn't be her responsibility to call them. Oh I see... you want ME to do it. Asshole. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay then...". Yesterday she sees Mr. Nosy walking down the hall and mentions that they didn't clean the table off. He looked at her, smiled and said, "Awwwwwwww!" and walked away. Score one for the snarky people!

I woke up on time only to mess around and be late out the door. After the usual flurry of getting ready and waiting for Jake I managed to zip past few the slow spots (all two miles of it) and make it to work just in time. From there it was all put on hold. Police cruisers blocked the street and I had to walk around them. After getting upstairs Mr Nosy asked, "Did you see the body?" We looked out the window and across the street lay the body of a woman, covered by yellow tarp. Around her and on the parking garage above police walked around, surveying the area. Crime Scene tape flapped gently around the body and people walked a little slower to see if they could catch a glimpse of the deceased. I looked to the stairwell across from us and there were people standing there, coffee mugs in hand. One last show from a person who didn't want to go on. She parked her car, made some steps from boxes she found and lept to her death. Such a sad ending, regardless of the circumstances.

Times are tough. The holidays always make it tougher. I remember sitting at home all alone and crying on too many occasions. My choice, but it was still a hard one. Being on the edge of the abyss is so easy. One step. One leap. One movement. One last pain and it all goes away. No more fear. No more anger. No more loneliness. No more pain. It's the easy way out and yet so many take it. I wonder if this person reached out to anyone, or had anyone to reach out to. Sometimes it's the littlest things that mean so much. A smile. A hello. Asking how someone is and then actually listening when they say it's not okay. I remember being in so much pain and reaching out. Someone said, "Don't worry, it will get better." It was as if they were saying "I didn't want to know how you felt, I just wanted to be polite while walking past you." Fair weather friends are worse than enemies at times. At least your enemy wants to know your condition.

When you walk outside today remember that there are people hurting. Sometimes a simple smile and acknowledgment is what will get them through one more day. This woman probably died because there wasn't a connection strong enough to keep her going. Sadly there is a connection now.

So my boss forgot to turn in my monthly time sheet. They had to do a rush check and I have to pick it up at the payroll office. The good news is that the payroll office is where Jake is and since he's an awesome boyfriend he's going to pick it up for me and deposit that sucker. Now for the shitty news. My automatic deductions WON'T be taken out. Car payment, parking fees and other deductions don't get processed on rush checks. Now I have to jump through hoops to figure out how I am going to have these paid so that I don't get penalized. My boss is running herself ragged so I don't want to be too hard on her. Especially since she can always hand me off to someone else. I'd either go directly under one of the big bosses OR to Mr. Nosy. Obviously either choice is going to suck donkey balls.

My job is actually back to kicking ass. I managed to impress the one doctor that complained about me and get some major points for getting some patients admitted when there weren't any free beds listed. *flexes* I really think this is going to work out. I need to get into a different mind frame. It's about the patient. I'll deal with retraining later. Also, *GRINS* I just got some great work news. I just can't say anything yet...

Oy joy. Oh rapture. There's nothing like someone being a total bitch to me when I have PMS and zero tolerance for said bitchiness. Take Mr. Nosy (please!). He walks in from a meeting an hour and a half later than he said he was supposed to and gets all snotty when I tell him that there are three faxes for him to do. Three. That's it. He has an hour to work and decides that it's not enough time. Meanwhile he's ready to open the email and chat. When I attempt to clarify his statement that he isn't going to do anything without a phone call he gets pissy and says that I should go down there and do it. He can kiss my ass. I was already told I would practically be living at my desk and have been. So wash my hands of it and page the doctor to clarify which patient he's sending us so I can forward the fax to the doctors. I figure he'll question that and I can let him talk to Mr. Nosy. The two of them need to work it out and not involve me. This was supposed to be a separate job entirely. As in not my problem. So far he's done everything but dump the shit in my lap. I can't wait for him to leave.

Guess who I got addicted to Facebook? Yeppers, Mr. Nosy himself. Now he's spending the day chatting with childhood friends instead of peeking over my shoulder and getting into my business. While I am still uber careful around him it's nice to be able to joke around and even the playing field. Now he's uploading pictures, chatting with friends and generally doing anything besides work. Works for me!

Part of the reason that my boss said II was hired was because of my problem solving capabilities. So now that I've been actually doing my job for a while I see quite a few areas that can be fixed. Here's where I hit the wall. So far I'm being treated as if they don't want me to fix them. You know... like I'm too aggressive. Over and over I keep hearing about how this department has always been this way. They brush off incompetency as if it's just part of the territory. Instead of recognizing the issues and fixing them they simply try to find someone else to do them. yeah, that makes people really want to excel. If the attitude is 'if you don't want to do it act stupid and they'll give it to someone else' then who could blame some lazy person for falling in line with the rest of the underachievers? Okay, I still can... but that seems to be a party of one right now. Whenever I talk about fixing issues my boss thinks that I'm doing this because I don't want to work. No... It's because the system can work more efficiently. All it takes is someone who is willing to take some heat and break some balls. Someone not willing to do their job? Write their asses out of the position and find someone that will. Someone want to get meets/exceeds on their evaluation? Tell them this is something they will be evaluated on. When you put it in terms of someone's job or someone's raise you can bet dollars to donuts they'd learn the new protocol.

Yesterday a doctor calls and asks for what the new protocol is. I tell her and she flies off of the handle. She didn't even give me a chance. It wasn't going to work. This is too many steps. I don't have support. Whine whine whine. Then she says she's taking it over my head. Fine. She asks who she should go to and I tell her my Big Boss... which also happens to be her boss. After she took this down I helped her patient. Then I get a call from her immediate boss. After going through the same routine (albeit a much nicer tone) he finally says they don't want to use the service. Okayfine... the issue isn't me, it's too many steps. They want to cut out the middle man (me). So basically he says my job is a waste of time and he'll be contacting my big boss. I shoot off an email to let him know and he calls me later on. He says that he agrees that they can go on their own... but he has no jurisdiction over the department that is no longer taking their info. That's between the two of them. I wait for a call the next day. And wait... and wait. The only thing I hear is when Mr. Nosy calls to check on me and says our boss is there. She shouts out, "Everything's fine. Disaster averted. I'll talk to you later." GAH! It's 4pm and I have yet to hear what the 'averted' ended up being. SOMETHING had to have been agreed upon to make them use me. The funny part is the same doctor had to call me today for another admission. She was snotty to me and I ignored it. I also got her a bed within record time. Eat shit, bitch.

I met with a doctor today that wanted to 'brainstorm' over how to fix some issues that they are having. Her clinic keeps forgetting to put information in that is needed in order for me to process the admission. Her big solution? I do it. That's right... have me do their work. Instead of accepting that it's a training issue they want to dump the responsibility of filling out whatever is missing on me. Never mind that the information is at the clinic's fingertips. Never mind that the responsibility is SUPPOSED to be on the clinic to fill out the necessary information so that I can send it off completed. This is from the top down, not me. So after an hour of politely telling her to fuck off and get her clinic to do it she left stating that she was 'enlightened'. Oh I'm sure. By 'enlightened' she means she's going to go to her boss to try and get me to do it. I love my job, I really do. I'm just waiting til it gets busier so I can easily say the responsibility falls back on the clinic and they need to be trained. Right now it's slow enough to where it would seem like I'm nitpicking. I hate that even though I am totally in the right I have to dodge bullets because of the pace of the workload. The best part of the day? No Mr. Nosy. He's off until Tuesday. Woooooooo!

How ironic that my 21st anniversary of working at UCLA is spent at home with a head cold from hell. I remember starting out nervous. I had volunteered at an old folks home as a teen, but this was a whole new level of care. Suddenly I was having to deal with people who were dying. People who were suffering. While my first few months were bumpy I loved it. I still do.

Two weeks into the job I was asked to take a little old lady to the X-Ray department. I helped her into the wheelchair and we stopped by the desk so the nurse could give me the medical records. I heard her say "Oh no" in a little raspy voice and leaned over the wheelchair from behind to see. Her frail hand was held out and she was messing with the pic line. There was blood around it and her skin was so thin you could see the needle underneath. I fainted dead away. The nurse, who was walking up behind me to give the chart, caught me and laid me down. I remember waking up on the floor and begging them not to tell. I thought my short career was over. Luckily they didn't, but I questioned whether this was a wise place to be working... what with the needle phobia and all.

I used to take my breaks and visit patients who were lonely. There was this one woman whose name escapes me that I grew fond of. She was dying of AIDs in a time where they were treated like outcasts. You had to enter their rooms with cover gowns, gloves and masks on. No one visited this lady. One day I walked by and she was crying. I came in and she said she just wanted someone to hold her hand. I put on the gloves and sat there as she wept. Then I cried. I spent a lot of time with her, just chit chatting. I remember the day I came in and her bed was made. I turned and the nurse, who had known we were talking, came up and placed her hand on my shoulder. I cried so hard.... Then the nurse reminded me that I helped her leave this earth less lonely. That she left with the memory of a friend. At the time it meant nothing. I knew she was dying. But in my ignorance I somehow hoped that my being there would change something. Anything. In the end it did. It changed me. This job became a career. I wasn't there to get a paycheck. I was there to help. I wanted to ease the pain.

I remember the night I was chatting with a friend. She worked on the Ob Gyn ward. She went to check on a patient while I hung out at the desk. Suddenly I heard a cry for help. To my left and down a long corridor was the O elevator. I looked over and saw a man running with a pregnant woman in a wheelchair. At first it didn't register. I told him to slow down, thinking it was an expectant father. Then I noticed the blue smock. Volunteer. Wide eyed volunteer. I ran towards the wheelchair saying 'Don't push' in Spanish to the lady. I got as far as 'No empu...' before looking down. Her panties were pushed down and a head was forming. I yelled DON'T PUSH and made a sprint towards the wheelchair, then did a dive as the woman slid her hips forward and the baby came out. I caught it right before it hit the floor. It was gooey and had green all over it. Luckily there was no blood. I would have passed out otherwise. I heard rumbling behind me and saw a team of doctors and nurses running down the hall from the delivery room. I held the baby while they clipped the umbilical cord. It was awesome. I visited the couple in their room afterwards and they wanted to name the baby after me. They were a sweet young Hispanic couple who spoke little English. This was their first child. They asked me for my name and when I said, "Odessa" they both had this "Oh shit" look on their face. We stood in silence for a moment, then I added "But my middle name is Teri. Like Teresa." They both grinned and nodded to the nurse. Somewhere there's a little girl who's almost named after me.

There are so many memories that have defined me. I know that there are people who hate their job and only go for the paycheck. Me? I go for what I can do. I go because 21 years later there's really no other job I'd rather be at. UCLA is my second home.

Oh G-d. These interviews are going to kill me. I feel like Murphy Brown and these applicants are the quirky assistants that she couldn't stand. Today's applicant showed up at the door wearing a pink sleeveless shirt, short skirt and sunglasses on the top of her head. Her hair... oh my. There were about three inches of root before the bright pink hit, which was not brushed and shoulder length. Her tongue was pink. Her face had piercings... all over. She topped it off with a thick Hannah Montana pen. Petty? Maybe. But who brings a big pen with a Disney character on it to an interview?

This interview was the polar opposite of the first one. She started off by apologizing because she had just had her braces tightened and wouldn't be able to talk much. HAH! By the end I had visions of large objects falling on her just to shut her up. She then spoke about her four kids and how she'd need to take off for them, etc... Each question she answered lasted ten minutes, complete with wild gestures and a constant clicking of her extra long nails. At one point she started talking about one job at the VA. Mr. Snoopy asked her about that and she got real emotional, going on about how badly they are treated, that they died so we have our freedoms (even though she was treated living people) and starting crying. That's right.... crying. In an interview. Awkwaaaard. Every question Mr. Snoopy asked made me want to smash his face in. I had had enough 15 minutes into the 45 minute interview. My phone rang and I literally flew out of my chair to get it. I didn't even care how obvious it looked. It was my boss. A few minutes of chit chat (that I was happy to drag out) and she asked me about the day. I mentioned that we were conducting an interview, then whispered "Thank......you" into the phone. She burst out laughing. We chatted some more before I had to slowly make my way back into hell. By this time Miss Motor Mouth was telling Mr. Snoopy how she preferred working alone. She then went on to talk about how she hated working with other people and how they tend to get into her business. Ten minutes later I was trying to wrap it up without wrapping a chair around her neck. Seriously... this woman brought up major violent impulses. After she left we went back to my office and just stared at each other, enjoying the momentary quiet. Then the laughter started. I don't care how bad it sounds. I laughed my ass off. She was sweet, nice and had a great personality. There's no way in hell she was going to work with me.

Yesterday I had to kick some butt with one of the departments. Apparently they didn't get the memo (HURR HURR) regarding the changing in protocol when it came to my department. Instead of ONE email I had to deal with six. This is the second day in a row that I've had to answer the exact same questions. Not one person wanted to talk to me on the phone. Nor did they ask for clarification when it came down to me telling them shit has changed. A twenty minute process took four hours and the patient went elsewhere. I was not amused. Ironically this department is handled by the same twit that cock blocked me from the start, telling me that my job was redundant and unnecessary. After paging the manager I waited two minutes... then sent a reply CCing the Big Wig over the hospital. She sent an email feigning knowledge that the process was finalized. I big my tongue and let the BBs handle it. Today emails are flying and all I want to know is what needs to be done so that I can get a patient in quickly.

Mr. Snoopy is finally letting me take charge (after I corrected him on a few things). He started calling himself my manager (NO) and that he was managing my department (HELL NO). Yesterday we interviewed a twit and afterward he started saying he liked her. *blink* I walked into the interview and he had just asked er a question. Her response was, "Oh gosh... Iiiii.... I dunno." I almost choked. Fifteen minutes later I was practically throwing them both out the window. Her HUGE projects consisted of stocking six doctors examination rooms and keeping a schedule. For ONE doctor. She was fresh out of high school, answered questions with one to two word responses and sat there with a blank expression on her face when we asked for references. After verbally snapping my fingers in front of her face she said she had one. Her High School math teacher. She even had his number on her cell phone (enter the mental snickering to the tune of Police's song). We thanked her and then retreated for a pow wow. After his 'I like her' bit I weighed in with my comments. She's unable to form answers or express any responses other than "Gosh, I dunno". Her insurance knowledge consisted of copying insurance cards and faxing them to billing. Her medical terminology after six years was 'That really huge needle that goes into your heart' and 'that thing you tape on the wall in case someone faints'. After pointing out the obvious he agreed that she wasn't for us. Thank fucking G-d.

Today our applicant called late (not a good sign) and then we had to cancel. We moved it to next week which is good, since the person I have in mind can't come in before the 3rd. We have another interview this afternoon, which should be interesting. I just hope this person knows how to form a complete fucking sentence.

And the crowd goes wild. My first admission was today. So of course it was an out of ordinary one... and of course all the information wasn't entered. And yeah, the nosy guy (Mr. Snoopy) decided that he's going to start making rules. After he looked up the missing information we both fumbled about exactly what needed to be done. He agreed that calling my boss would be the best thing to do. WRONG! She was in a meeting and a tad (READ: majorly) stressed. She snapped at me (still nothing compared to the old boss but still...) and shot off some comment about hoping I wouldn't be contacting her about all the patients. Then she said I should be asking Mr. Snoopy for help. I informed her that I had and he agreed that contacting her was best. After getting off the phone I was sooo not happy. I pitched a mini fit (not cool) and tears ran (even more not cool) before regrouping and getting the information needed. A few minutes later my boss called back apologetic. That made me feel a lot better. I totally understand being stressed out. It's just nice that she was able to admit it and actually apologize. She did this three more times. You'd think she was Jewish with the amount of guilt she had... and really it was nothing. I was more annoyed that I was expected to do the first tough one without any help... and then when I followed protocol it turned out no one else new about the new rules. Yay. In the end the patient was taken care of, I set some boundaries with Mr. Snoopy regarding my job and understood the issues that we have to work on. Now if I can only get him to stop looking over my shoulder.

Friday was interesting. First I had a woman walk into my office and say her department would like me to come down the hall and describe my job in detail to them. WTF!?! I know I'm not at an MSO level, but you would think they would be more courteous then to expect me to just walk into a meeting unprepared. Especially with the specialists she works for. Apparently they are the whiniest, most demanding doctors of all the practices. So I balked. First I said I would like to have had some notice to see if my boss wanted to come. Then the guy who sits with me added 'Oh, and they haven't even given out instructions yet'. To that the woman said, 'Okay, I'll just tell them you haven't started'. Whoa whoa whoa... Back the adding things in my mouth train up. From there it was a polite pissy match with me saying that we ARE accepting patients, but the offices just haven't gotten notification. Then I agreed to go down. The meeting went well and I managed to answer the barrage of questions thrown at me. It was like dodging bullets. In the end they thanked me and I walked back, feeling pretty damn good about how I handled it.

Later on I called my boss to ask some questions regarding the meeting I have on Monday (today). I mentioned the on the spot meeting and how I had said she might want to come. Bad move. She said that I should be able to do these things without her. She was right. I apologized and she backed off, saying there was no need to. That she was mentoring me to this position. I wanted to tell her that it's tough with all the rule changes, but I couldn't. Instead I moved on and told her about how I handled it and the issues I wasn't sure about. To that she said the woman who came in to get me said I did an excellent job and the doctors probably suggested I come in when they ran out of things to whine about. I can only imagine what else she told my boss, but whatever. It was definitely a learning experience. I just need to step up and get my ass out there.

I've taken on another Sims2 site to moderate. I just hope I can spread myself around. I don't want to spend so much time online (which I have been) simply policing sites. I'd like to also spend time with Jake and play the game. In that order. I think once things settle down I can find a balance. Right now I'm so stressed from work that balance is like a seesaw. Soon... It'll be better soon.

So the guy who I am training that seems to have an issue taking notes (he claims his writing is too sloppy, etc...) gave our boss the impression I didn't correctly train him because I didn't stand over him and tell him what to do. He is in a MUCH higher position than I am, so this is just bullshit. She came in grumpy (still nothing compared to my old boss) telling me he won't learn unless he does it. WTF!?! He's been doing it. Although he got bitchy when I told him he had to look up the doctors himself instead of shouting out to me to see if they were ours. Anyway, now I have to stand over him while he does it like a little kid. What a joke.

The final meeting regarding my position is tomorrow. That means next week it should get busy. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I've waited so long to do this, and now I have to make sure everything goes right. They'll be eyes standing over me to see that there aren't mistakes and eyes hoping there will be. *sharpens pencils* To the latter I say back off... I've got great aim.

To some happiness is family, to others its freedom. Some find happiness within their career and others with their friends. My dad once told me that it doesn't matter what you do in life. You can be the head of a company or the janitor. If you do your job to the best of your ability then you are a success. He also told me that you had to like your job. This coming from a man who'd been the owner of a track team, a restaurant, a bike shop, a carpet shop and was going to switch careers again when he died. Ironically the fear of not being financially okay kept me at my current employment. the benefits alone were hard to find in the outside world without taking a risk. My dad took risks. Me... I've been too chicken. That "what if" factor always held me back.

This past year I took a risk. Not a large one... considering I am still with UCLA. But a risk in that I left a pretty cushy job to take on a new one... and help build it from the ground floor up. The first few months have been nerve wracking for me. The uncertainty was killing me. No solid job duties and so much political tape you'd think I was running for President. In the movie Parenthood they show a scene where the two characters are on a roller coaster. One is laughing at all the dips and curves while the other is terrified of the movement. Suddenly the terrified character looks over and sees the other laughing. They finally get it. It's the dips and the curves that make life exciting. So true....

I have had someone in my office training to be my backup for over a week now. So far he's taken one line of notes and asked me the rest... every single day. I'm trying to be polite but it's really getting to me. Add the fact that he feels the need to pop over to my side of the desk every ten minutes to see what I'm typing... yeah, my last nerve is dangling. He's the nicest guy, so I don't want to be rude. I am also counting the days until he feels as if he's been trained enough and moves on. Part of me thinks that he's here because my boss doesn't have any other assignment for him. Oh joy. Oh rapture. My office is a dumping ground. At least it's getting me ready for having my assistant. I was really enjoying the privacy, but I've been trying to force myself out of that mindset. If I hire the person I am thinking of it still should be pretty nice. They're super quiet and prefer to keep to themselves. That's a plus in my book!

So the verdict is an abscess. The original root canal that I had done when I was 11 wasn't done correctly. After numbing the fuck out of my face (and torturing me with what seemed like a gazillion needles) the Oral Surgeon redid my root canal. Everything was going swimmingly and then he stopped. "Oh wow" was all I heard before he stared pulling black gunk from my tooth. Mind you it's the front, lower tooth so it's a small hole to work with. After that came the puss. I felt so icky. He scraped until he couldn't get anymore and filled the whole with antibiotics and put on a temporary seal. Then he wrote me a prescription for triple antibiotics and said that if this didn't work he'd have to do surgery. I was beyond mortified. I'll find out in two weeks (Sept 10th) if the antibiotics were able to stamp out the infection. So far my mouth is so sore that any movement that includes my lower lip makes it ache. You can imagine how much of a bitch I am right now...

Yesterday I was told that not only is my job FINALLY kicking into high gear as of the 10th (notice the date) but I will be hiring someone who I will be in charge of. I've never officially been over someone before, so I'm not sure what I will need to do. I'm really excited about the oportunity to lord over guide someone in their career. Let's get back to the date, shall we? Yeah, so my first day on the job and I have to leave early. I tried to reschedule and everything was booked. My boss is trying to keep it together while being pulled a gazillion ways at once and the last thing she needs is to worry about this.

I would have posted this yesterday but I couldn't log into my account... AGAIN. It started a few days ago. But I was able to refresh and log in. Yesterday and today was a total lock out, even commenting gave me an error. Right now I am able to log on, but the comments still aren't working. This really is the last thing I need to worry about. *sigh*

I finally had to explain to one of the doctors that I wasn't upset or freaking out or any other overly emotional reaction. I simply said, "I'm an Italian-Irish Jew. I emote. I am very expressive. It's just my way." He said, "Ohhhhh!" as if it was enough to explain everything. I'm hoping I'll be able to do the same with my boss. I think they hear my overly dramatic tones and think I'm on meltdown or something. I keep being told things like 'don't worry' or don't panic'. Meanwhile I'm just trying to talk about a concern. I feel like saying, "You think this is me panicking? Oh honey... You haven't SEEN me panic!" The doctor got a kick out of me telling him about how my dad used to make me sit on my hands so I wouldn't wave them around while talking. Meanwhile my boss mentions that she'll be over here 'for most of the day' tomorrow. I'm not sure if that means in the clinics or in my office. I hope it's at the different clinics here. Otherwise she gets to see how bored I really am and how much I fuck around. Not that there's anything I can do about it. Hell, I keep asking for them to clarify shit so I can start my job already. That's the key. I don't need busy work. I need MY work. closer... It's getting closer.

I swear... often. Part of the reason is the stupid people I come in contact with. It truly amazes me. I just got a phone call from a woman who's mentality is that of a pea.

Me: Hello?
Duh: Oh hi. Is HH there?
Me: No, I'm sorry you've reached a private office.
Duh: Oh, she's not there.
Me: No.... This is a new number, perhaps she moved.
Duh: So she's not there? Do you remember me giving the (goes on about something I have no clue about)
Me: Maam? HELLO!? I am NOT HH. You reached the wrong number.
Duh: Do you know her?
Me: ... No. When people get numbers it's very random. I don't know who had this number.
Duh: But she just gave me the number. Is this (says different number)?
Me: No, you just misdialed.
Duh: Oh, okay!

Stupid cow. The chances that I would know the previous owner of this phone are about as slim as the chances that she has enough common sense to tie her shoes without having to redo it. Twice.

Now that my job is finally kicking into gear I'm being placed in the uncomfortable position of setting boundaries. It seems that my job description is overflowing to whatever a particular doctor wants it to be. I have people calling me from all over expecting me to 'take over' duties or start new ones so they can have better info. My reports are a little too good apparently. I've had to politely explain that if they want these reports they are more than welcome to create them. Hell, I even set up discussions between different people to do so. Yet this morning I pick up the phone and a doctor thought I did yet another phantom duty. "You mean you don't deal with admissions for EVERYONE?" *sigh* I should be thrilled that they all think I'm so awesome. I should be tickled pink that they think I can take on all these duties. But I'm not... I don't want to seem like I'm not a team player either. I can't wait until there's some sort of direction to go with. You know, a clearish pattern. Hell, I'd even settle for a 'Go that way' response. For now I'll just twirl in circles and pretend I'm awesome.

Now that my job description is finally being fleshed out I'm also being told about other things they want me to do 'when I learn more'. I'm non medical so everything revolves around that. Plus... understanding the difference between someone on our service and someone housing on our service. Basically this means we can be taking care of a patient, but it's not really ours. Yeah, so unless I start pulling medical books out of my ass it's going to be a steep ride.

I forward all the requests to my immediate boss and she says not to worry. Part of me wants to blindly follow that path. But the the Jew in me fights every step of the way. It's like a mini me is sitting on my shoulder, nagging about every little thing until I HAVE to say something. Then I'm told not to worry again. Lather, rinse, repeat. I have to say... my job is starting to look a lot more positive. For a while there it was really touch and go. Now that we have a happy medium (for now) I am pleased as punch.

Yeah, so it's not even 11am and there have been no fewer than 8 huge emails being tossed back and forth between all the hospital big wigs regarding my job, their expectations (all different... surprise, surprise) and when it is to start. Honest to G-d I am going to have a nervous breakdown over the emails alone. The last one seemed to be the voice of reason, but I'm not holding my breath that this is over. When I started a was told it was a work in progress but the BBs had a clear idea of what they wanted. That quickly dissolved into possibilities and conflicts. Now we're back to the clear idea part, which should have been laid out in the first place. And by 'first place' I mean before I was hired. I'm loving every thing about this job except for the matter of what the hell I'm supposed to do. I've had over two months to prepare and I'm not ready. Why? Because it's been two months of bickering, suggestions, possibilities and guesswork. Now I have to hustle to catch up so I don't end up on the end of the fail train.

My job just got really interesting... Yesterday was wild. After getting a lot of things fixed I chatted with the phone support guy. He came up to put molding down so the wires weren't exposed. I started working on something when there was a knock at the door. Lately I've been getting a LOT of people who come up for meetings and whatnot and can't seem to find the room. I also get misdirected people, people who need supplies and all sorts of randomness that can get on a PMSing person's nerves. Luckily I smiled as they walked in the door. The woman ended up being the hospital's BW (big wig). She said she wanted to introduce herself since we will be working very closely together (news to me) and that my daily census reports were fantastic (awesomeness) and vital (more awesomeness). Then she explained where her office was, who her assistant was and that she was there if I ever needed her. It really made me feel good to hear my report was well received. At the end of the day she came by again, showing some other BWs around. She greeted me like an old friend and I did the same back (yeah, I know...). I was on the phone with my boss chatting, telling her about my day when my BB2 came in. I told her I'd call her back. He announced that I was about to get busier. My job that was not happening is starting on Tuesday with a twist. He started to ask me to come to a meeting, then thought better and said he'd let my boss's boss know tomorrow. So many bosses. Oy... As soon as they left I grabbed my things and headed for the door. When I was sure it was clear I called my boss back to tell her the news. She said not to panic and I said, "Panic? I'm not panicking. I'm excited! This is what I've been wanting to do!" Then we talked about how the BB's ideas trickle down and we have to find ways to make it work without stepping on anyone's toes. That's going to be the biggest challenge. So now I'm holding my breath until they meet and hoping that my boss will be included in any meetings. She's pure awesomeness and knows how things run on the level I'm at. The BB tells us to build a house, but she's going to be the one working on how to get the supplies. This is going to be one hell of a house! Party time!

For now my job duties are going to be up in the air. The liaison bit is on hold for various reasons, so now I'm 'managing' the house staff's office. Yeah... I know. I'm supposed to be the 'go to' girl for everyone... and so far it's okay. I'm learning about the hospital and how to work my way around it so this will help me. But... I was really looking forward to the job I was originally hired for. I'm just going to hold my breath for a bit and see how it pans out. I work with some great people, my boss is all sorts of awesome and my office kicks ass (except in Earthquakes). I don't mind helping out and it feels good to be able to alleviate some of the stress from the doctors. But ultimately I want to make sure this is going to be what I want. Until then... I wait.

I am Odessa, Goddess of the... copy/fax machine. Ruler of all things... copyable. Lordess over all things... faxable. Fear me or meet my wrath. My EVIL EYE! Muhahahaha!

Too much? Not enough? Seriously, I need to think of something. People see a fax/copy machine and think they can just waltz right in and use it. Today some guy practically dry humped it while pulling out his paper. You'd think this was the only copy/fax in the whole damn hospital. I was on the phone and could only give him a highly annoyed glance before going back to being highly annoyed at the HospB IT support staff who can't seem to figure out how their system works. Anyway, back to the annoying curly haired dude. I asked one of the doctors if he was ours and he didn't have any idea who this yokel was. So basically some random guy decided to wander up here and use the machine. Lovely. I feel so safe. I already have some nice but uber creepy security guard stalking me. He seems pleasant enough... until he says things like 'So, you're here all by yourself huh?' and 'Must be uncomfortable to be up here all by yourself'. If I had mace he would have been on the ground, clawing his eyes out by now.

My first earthquake in my new office. Survey says... it sucks donkey balls. I'm on the 9th floor of an old building that hasn't been retrofitted. This means I'm basically fucked if the epicenter is in LA. Someone mentioned that they were supposed to be tearing this part of the hospital down. I said, "If this keeps up they won't have to!"

The only good thing about this one is that it was a rolling kind. The other kind (up and down movements) would have probably shot me out of the window. What's funny is that most of the Medical residents come here from outside of California. They were having a meeting in the room across from me when the earthquake hit. They dove under the desk so fast it was like the floor dropped. After realizing that the earthquake was getting stronger i got up to get into the doorway. I had one hand on the door and one on the water cooler and prayed it didn't get any worse. It seemed to slow down so I yelled out 'At least if something happens I'll get medical attention'. a female resident yelled out 'Oh ha ha'. She was too scared to be amused. After it was over they all hightailed it down the stairs as I went back to my desk. Just another sunny day in Southern California.

So today I had to deal with some snarky support person about a program. I was shown a new way to do the census from one of the doctors and noticed a patient listed as in-house without a room assignment. Considering I count by floors I needed to know if this was a glitch or if the status meant the patient was either not in a room or going home. Simple, right? Enter tier one support. The guy was nice, but didn't know what it meant. So he took my name, phone number, address, and blood type before putting in a call for a ticket. I figured I'd get someone who knew the system and let it go at that. Five hours later I get a call from some snarky wench I'll refer to as SW. Clever, ain't I? Anyway, she starts reading me the riot act about where EXACLTY I went and what EXACTLY I needed for before clicking on the census. By that time the one patient was gone but three more popped up missing a room. She started giving me MORE attitude, complete with chewing something, and kept saying "All we can tell you is what is on the screen". So of course my voice started matching hers. Bitch-fight ensues. After her refusing to answer my VERY SIMPLE question I finally pulled out the big guns.

Me: I'm sorry... WHO am I speaking with?

SW: My name is Snarky Wench

Me: Okay Snarky. You sound agitated. I am asking you questions to understand the system and you sound very annoyed. It is not my intention to annoy you... Is the supervisor there or another colleague that will be willing to listen to what I am asking and answer my question around?

SW: I can ONLY te...

Me: Again, you sound very agitated. I am trying to do a report for (list of BBs) and simply need to understand the numbers before giving it to them. If the patient is not on the floor then I won't count them. If they ARE on the floor then I need to understand how they are entered so I don't say they have 5 patients on 5 East when there are actually 6. May I speak to your supervisor?

SW: Uhhh... Hold on, there's a W by the name. Let me ask what this means. *puts me on hold* Okay, it means they aren't in a room yet and are being admitted.

Me: Okay then. So at this point they are NOT in a bed so I don't have to count them. Is this correct?

SW: Uhh... Yes.

Me: Thank you. That's all I needed to know.

Twit... Two minutes later the tier one guy calls to say that he found out what it meant. *sigh* I recounted my lovely conversation and he apologized for it. It's pretty sad when tier one support is more effective than tier two. Pretty damn sad...

Lately I've been pretty worried about my job. The census says that while beds are tight at our two hospitals the third hospital we're supposed to depend on for overflow is practically choking. Friday they had ONE open bed. ONE! I checked later on in the day and it went up to two. WTF!?! I don't know what sort of agreement the BBs made with this place but I hope money wasn't involved. If so... I'd ask for a refund. Yeah, so my job. It's been doing little shit here and there and getting ready for this HUGE influx of patients that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. If it does we're pretty much fucked. My boss had been finding other things for me to do 'in the meantime'. Luckily I've been right on top of things and they're all super happy with my job performance. Yesterday my boss called about me taking on some other duties. It sounded more like an assistant's job. She wasn't feeling well and had someone on hold so it was basically a summary with 'we'll talk more later'. After asking me what I thought I said, 'Well... I'd have to hear exactly what you're expecting before answering that'. She made a comment about 'Don't worry... it's not like you'll be getting their laundry or anything. You're not their assistant' and I snapped back, 'Good... because if it was that I'd be looking for another job. I was an assistant for ten years and don't want to be that anymore'. Yeah, not the coolest retort I've done. I've been so worried about my position even though they've gone to great lengths to calm me and I've been annoyed that the duties keep changing even though the job is being created by me. I felt guilty about it for a bit and then called her back. Once again she was on hold and so I had to do some fast talking. I told her I was sorry for sounding like such a bitch and she said I didn't. Then she added that she should have come over there to explain things instead of just throwing them at me. In the end we said we'd talk more and from the description of things it would really benefit me to do the tasks. And really... the job is still pretty damn awesome. I'm paid more, have a great office and work with some wonderful people. You can have the shittiest job but still manage to stay there if you have the right people to work with. It took me five minutes to get to work this morning and the gas we save is insane. To tops things off... this place is pretty damn friendly. You walk in and people smile and greet you. Everyone's so laid back compared to my other place. The BBs treat everyone like they matter and instead of some frantic rush when they arrive everyone greets each other like old friends. In the end... that's why my tasks will be welcomed. Because this place is pretty fucking awesome...

Today was a roller coaster of emotions. It started off with me send the daily hospital census and crossing my fingers. Yesterday I didn't get any feedback, which I took as a good sign. Today I heard the email chime and grimaced. BBB's name was in bold. It was a reply to my email. After taking a few deep breathes I opened it up. Not only was there praise galore (this is a terrific report!), but he CC'd the other BBs outside of my area and asked me to add them to the list to receive the report. After making some sort of bizarre "EEEEEEEEEEEEE!" sound I took a breathe and yelled "Woo Hoo!" Thank goodness I was alone. Then the other emails came in and the calls started. Apparently I'm a hit. This is a good thing and bad, but mostly good. *grins* Say my name, baby... say my name!

Later on in the day I managed to fuck up that positive aura. My boss was standing behind me (she came by to congratulate me on the report) and asked about some rules. I said I'd shoot off an email to my doc and instead of making a NEW email I just hit reply to the last one I sent. It just *happened* to be one saying "Anyway, I am still nervous about the position… even though My Boss says not to be. I have been pulling my hair out about nothing being ready. The bottom line is that it’s a waiting game for the doctors to get their ass in gear". Yeah, so anyway... I shit bricks. We talked briefly as I typed it out, not wanting to be so obvious but knowing she saw the whole thing, and then she left and I panicked. A few hours (and gazillion phone calls to friends) later I called her to explain the context of the email and it was all good. Did I mention I have the most awesome boss in the whole wide world?

Monday was a treat. And by treat I mean pain in the ass. It started off with me waiting for the elevator. And waiting. And waiting. Of the four elevators, only two go to the top floor. Guess where I'm located. You betcha! I went to the security desk to see if anyone else had complained and I was the first. Lovely. Meanwhile everyone else kept telling me that the elevators worked. One was sitting on 6 and the other wasn't even showing up. Working my ass... Finally the engineer department opened their eyes and noticed an issue. Twenty minutes later I asked where the stairwell was located. My boss said I could walk a flight if the elevators were too slow. After no one could tell me I said fuck it and ventured out on my own. I figured someone would be able to point me in the right direction. I walked the flight of stares and reached for the knob. Locked. Oh yes, it was turning out to be a lovely day. I went BACK down to the first floor and weighed my options. Unfortunately 'going home' wasn't one of them. I waited for the security guard who was on a call to get back and open the door in the stairwell. By this time three other doctors had gathered around, all waiting to hoof it to the top floor. We walked up, he opened the first door and we ventured onto the roof. And by roof I mean there was only a tiny ledge on the side between us and oblivion. I tried my best not to scream like a little girl. Once safely back inside I opened my office door only to hear the elevator door ring. Sonofabitch...

Later on I made my way to one of the bathrooms and noticed someone didn't flush. I grumbled while trying to flush for them. Nothing. I tried again... Nothing. I made my way to the sink to wash my cup and turned on the water. Nothing. Oh yes, this was just awesome. Once back in my office I called the engineer department.

"Didn't you get the email?"

What email?

"The one that said all water was shut off on your side of the building for an emergency."

No... no I didn't.

Apparently I wasn't added to the list for the new hospital. Oh joy, oh rapture. So now I had to pee and try and figure out where to call so I could be added to the email list. Luckily the outage only lasted an hour or so. Now the people not calling me back for the statistics I need... and then giving me wrong ones so that I look bad for the BBs... THAT is a whole other story. *sigh* I know it will get better... I just want that to be now.

Creepy IT Chick has been replaced with Creepy Librarian. Dude... She's a little bity woman, but her looks alone make my skin crawl. She stood in my office doorway, surveying the area in a slightly unnerving way. Her shoulders were hunched over and her arms hung at her sides as if they didn't work. They hardly swayed even when she moved from side to side. Her facial features were just... odd. Thick arched brows that seemed to be dyed brown with a mouth a little too large to fit her tiny frame. Her teeth were yellow and even larger than her mouth, which made her frozen smile even more unsettling. After my initial shock of looking up to see her I said hello. She turned her body, arms still at her side and asked what was going to be in this room. I forced a smile and said, "Me!" while waiting for her to go away. Instead she nearly slapped her hand to her chest and said, "I'm the Librarian down the hall" as she tried to look in the boxes. I waited. I wanted her to go away. After a moment she asked my name again and then asked one of my family members was Russian. I smiled widely (probably looking freaked out) and told her that I was named after the song by the BeeGees. She said, "Your parents must be interesting. Do you have any siblings? What are their names?" I lied and said I didn't. Chit chat was the last thing I wanted to have with this woman. Usually I can talk to anyone... but she reminded me a little too much of some sort of creepy person who is ignored in the beginning of the horror film only to be the psychopathic killer in the end with a closing scene where she laughs manically while holding up the severed head of a cheerleader that's dripping blood onto her naked body. and she ends up having a penis. Yeah, I watch waaaay too many horror flicks.

Apparently I'm a tad over zealous. My boss says that a second desk will be needed in case someone else moves into my office at some point and I get another desk. THEN she tells me she was just talking about 'at some point and time'. Meanwhile, the desk they gave me that was sitting in the storage unit is ridiculously big and unnecessary. So now the plan is to wait a week or so and ask for them to remove it. Go me... I'm still in "GO GO GO" mode and everyone else is in standby. Unfortunately my job is supposed to kick into high gear on the 30th and we have dick in place. Everyone says not to worry. Everyone says there's a plan B. Plan B doesn't involve me which means I'll be waiting for mid July until we can switch to Plan A. I want to push but know that it's not good when your boss is the one opting for Plan B. Unfortunately the BBs are not going to be happy. It all boils down to paperwork and that is not acceptable on their level. Personally it isn't on mine either... but I digress.

What I HAVE accomplished impressed the hell out of my boss. This is a good thing. She likes that I am quick and resourceful. She likes that I am friendly and have already managed to get to know the people we depend on. My friend met with her yesterday and she said I was doing a fantastic job. Yay! She aint seen nothing yet.

Oh that's awesome. I just learned that my new phone number is an old back line for the emergency room. And how did I learn this? Besides the more than 20 messages on my voice mail, that is. I've been getting sporadic calls from various departments all day. HAH! Usually they'd say a quick 'Oops! Sorry, wrong number' and hang up. Finally I stopped someone long enough to tell me. Oh well... it's one way to get to know the people that work here. The other way is by me asking for stupid things. Like an engineer to come all the way up to the 9th floor just to tell me there's a knob underneath the keyboard tray to move up upward... and that's the most it will go. I swear I didn't see that damn thing. Oh well, it sucks that they can't move the tray any higher. I'll make sure I get one that works properly when they install my new desk. *looks at boxes in corner* The operative word here is 'when'.

I walked seven blocks to the other hospital I will be working with and seven blocks back... and my feet are fucking killing me. Two inch heels should NOT be that hard to walk around in. Now that I'm in 'business attire' low heeled shoes just don't look right with my outfits. Changing into sneakers isn't an option when you are walking from one place of business to another. What am I going to do... change shoes in the waiting area before a big meeting? Riiiight.

The plus side is... I'm finally starting to walk more. I put on a couple of comfort pounds over the last two months and need to get those off pronto. Since Jake is also on a diet for his weight lifting forum contest it's the best time to jump in and support each other. We've both been lagging in that area and need to really bounce back. Now that Jake is on summer vacation from school it's the best time. Ironically enough I don't get home much earlier. We'll see now that I don't have to walk the extra four blocks to get to my car it might make a difference. If not... Meh. I'm still not stuck on the 405 or Sepulveda Blvd. From Hell to heck, that's how I see it.

The good news is my new parking structure is literally across the street from the hospital instead of four blocks, like my old parking in Westwood. The bad news is that it's so fucking small I have roof parking at 7:45am. My other choice is to stack park (fat chance) so yeah... it's a trade off. So far the office is coming together nicely. I was told we could get a handy man out to install the desk instead of waiting for Office Max to get it right, so I'm happy about that too. Also, my computer arrived (YAY!) and I should have it by Thursday. It looks like I'll be up and running by the end of this week. *hops around* With all the goofs and delays you'd think I would be more upset... but everyone here has been so nice and so supportive that I can't help but feel like it's going to be alright. In short: this is going to be an awesome job.

I loathe when people know that I'm waiting for something and neglect to tell me the status until its an afterthought. I am waiting for the furniture guys to call so I can set up a time to be at my office. I have a feeling it's going to be one of those 7-12/1-5 deals. Whatever. I'll be at my new office and out from the microscope of my two BBs. I've been tying not to drive the assistant crazy (and failing miserably) about all my orders. Up until now all I've gotten was 'don't worry' whenever I asked. Then the shit started falling apart and he had to scramble. the computer? Yeah, that baby's not being shipped until June 30th. That means it won't get here until after July 5th and then won't be ready by the IT people before July 15th. So of course I've been asking whenever I could about all my things. The latest was stopping him in the hall about my furniture. "Oh yeah... the chair is on back order". WTF!?! I was sooo unhappy. I wanted to scream, but all I could do is breathe deeply and smile when he said his usual 'don't worry'. Fuck that shit. I was born to worry. I'm an Italian Irish Jew. Worrying and guilt is in my blood. it's what I do best. Plus, if I don't get out from this office and kick this job into gear it's going to be a tougher sale once we go into high gear and they need me... like yesterday.

So I got my first email from my old boss. Apparently she wanted to know if I remembered when I last ran a report that had April as the most recent dates generated. Seriously. After having a chuckle I sent her back a thinly veiled sarcastic remark telling her that she should probably go by the dates on the program and explaining to her how the program works. I also added that I was 'sorry for the late response, but I was on vacation'. You know, because I'm an asshole. Her email made some vague remark about us supposedly running the report weekly, which is utter bullshit. We haven't ran that report weekly since the move to LAX... seven years ago. I didn't have the energy nor the interest in getting into some bitch fest over something I could give a shit about so I ignored that part. Considering she's going to be on vacation for the most of June I probably won't be hearing much from her. I'm hoping she deals with the fact that she ignored me for a month and now has no information regarding what I did and how I did it. I feel sorry for all my friends who are going to suffer the wraith once she gets back, but not enough to lift a finger and do two jobs. I just hope they can deal with it long enough to get the hell out.

Meanwhile back at the ranch... word is that I may be going to my new office on Thursday. More later...

On Friday I walked into a volley of questions that ultimately got the ball rolling in my favor. At first it seemed as if the shit had hit the pan and I was smack dab in the middle of said pan. I am sitting in an office with two doctors. One who I call the Big Boss (BB) and the other who, up until Friday, was simply a nice guy who shared the area. On Friday the other doctor (BB2) walked in and started firing off questions about what I was doing to get my job started and why it hasn't started yet. Telling him I was waiting for the computer, furniture, etc... just didn't sound good enough. Then he hit me with a huge round of information that basically said my job had totally changed and the third hospital I was dealing with was fucking with their end of the deal. I wanted to cry. Even his assistant commented on his tone. He ended it saying we were all going to have a meeting at noon. It was over in a minute, but not before I left the office reeling and wondering about how this job was going to be. I called my boss and told her the whole scenario, talking a mile a minute. I was frustrated and not happy with being put on the line without any information to give. I've been so patient about the situation up until now. But it's coming down to the wire and I don't want to fail because someone didn't do their job. She was still very confident, saying this was just what we needed to show them that one: it wasn't going to be as easy as they had thought and two: we needed some big guns to push people into gear. We talked about how the job structure was not in place and that I couldn't even discuss my job at this point. "What am I supposed to do... vaguely promise doctors that I'll take care of everything without telling them how?" She agreed and again stressed that this was what we needed to get the rules into place. She also explained how my position came to be and who is over me. FINALLY. BOTH doctors had created my position, so I was basically sitting between the two BBs. Then there's the Medium Boss (MB) who they asked to get someone to do the job. She approached my boss to create the details and do the hiring. Afterwards she decided my boss would continue to be my immediate boss (thank goodness). Have I confused you yet?

I went back to my temporary home and my boss called the MB. The MB called BB2's assistant and asked if my boss should be included in the meeting. He said no and I wanted to scream. Instead I shot off a ton of emails to get any and all information about the status of everything... and started making reports to show where we were. A few minutes later my MB's assistant called and asked if I could meet with her for a moment. I went over there expecting the worst. Instead she basically excused me from the noon meeting, saying there was no need for me to be there, and said if there was information that I needed to know than she'd call a meeting with me and my boss. No fucking problem!

A half hour before the meeting my boss called me to her office. I was over there within a heart beat. Anything to get me away from the front line. We met and talked for a while, then she told me to go to lunch and we'd meet afterwards. She was having a meeting with the MB about what was discussed and would talk to me. After lunch we met again and my job had changed. Instead of admitting for three hospital sites I'm going to admit to one. She said not to worry, that I was going to be busy from the get go. Oh great. Hopefully the 'get go' will happen AFTER I get my fucking computer and furniture. Then she sent me on an errand and told me to take the rest of the day off.

The job is still awesome. The people are still awesome. I know that once everything is in place I'll be fine. Even the BB2 is nice. He was hit with some major news and didn't have the information in place to back up where we were. No problem. Now everyone's pushing for the computer, furniture, etc... so I can start my position. Something they *should* have done in the first place. The wheels are turning... Weeeee!!!!

Oh yes, feel the burn. Feel the... excuse. I want shit done. I want to be in my office, with everything installed and doing my job. But right now everything is on the low priority list because the Hospital is moving to the new building. Everyone is pulling their hair out, trying to get ready. The 'To Do' list is a mile long for each person and everyone has a sort of 'this is insane' look on their face. I just want my fucking computer so I can move. I don't care if I sit on the floor at this point. Everyone says the same thing. 'The move is pushing everything back'. So then I get pissy. 'You mean Dell is moving?' I don't see how an outside vendor has anything to do with our move. All they have to do is deliver the damn thing. Then I have to wait for the IT people to configure it and load the software. THAT'S when I'm screwed. The longer it takes for them to deliver the computer, the closer it is to the move. The closer it is to the move, the lower on the priority list configuring my computer is going to be. Considering we can't do shit until the computer is here, they're not even going to order my furniture until then. So that means that once again I'll be on a priority list of shit things to do. The worst part? The BB moves to the new hospital in a week. So this means I have a week to push everyone to get my shit done... or have to deal with finding another space to sit and look busy. You know... like write my rants for the next day while having an intense look on my face. Grrrrr.... <--intense face noise

I'm back at work and raring to go. I had five (count em... FIVE) days of fun filled rest and relaxation. Jake was wonderful and took over the main site as far as rants are concerned and I just fucked off as far as chatting and anything else was concerned. Go me! Things are starting to come together as far as my office is concerned which is fabulous. My new computer, fax, printer and everything else is on it's way. The only thing left is for me to have it installed so I can get my ass out of here and not be in everyone's way. The BB has been very kind, but I know seeing me here all day isn't great. He wants things to get going... the only trouble is they need to be ironed out. My cell phone was delivered last week, which is a big step. I still need to get my phone line in so my cards can be made. Plus, they still need to set down the main rules. I can't even say exactly how I go about admitting a patient, which is a HUGE deal. They want me to jump into my job, but the job isn't even ironed out. Oy. My boss told me not to even worry about it, but it's hard not to. I am so used to the security of knowing exactly what I need to do that this is pretty unnerving. Don't get me wrong, everything is running smoothly... just not where I'd want it to be before I can take a deep breath and start my job comfortably. I *should* be in my new office in about a week. Woo hoo! Once that happens I think it will be much better.

I got to have lunch with an old friend yesterday. It was so good to see "E". Most of it was spent reminiscing about who's still around and the usual office gossip. From the looks of things I got out of my job in the Operating Room just in time. We also updated each other on our current personal lives and basically shot the shit for an hour. "E" and I used to hang out a lot and went to dinner all the time. I miss talking to him, so it was a nice surprise. Ironically he hasn't changed a bit. It's good to be back... *grins*

This morning I went to see my new office. Awesomeness! First things first. The drive was about ten minutes. That was with me driving around the block once to find the damn parking attendant. yay for obscure areas. my NB called me a half hour later (when she was supposed to be there) and said she was on her way. No problem. I was just happy to be able to see the place. When she arrived we hustled up to the ninth floor and waited for the security guy to show up. He arrived and simply opened the door. So yeah, we looked kind of stupid. What ever. The office is big! Also, at least two windows worth of an ocean view. The desks were scratched up and the one desk didn't match, but I could give a shit. I have my own office. W00t! We talked about cell phone VS beeper and I said whatever she wanted was fine. If it ends up being a hassle (or I end up using my phone more) then I'll revisit the issue. Right now I'm just happy to have my own fucking office. It'll be about a week before everything is set up. So yeah, a week more of sitting around and twiddling my thumbs. Today I go computer access (go me!) so I am happy.

Speaking of computer access... the tech set up my computer with Outlook this morning. Imagine my embarrassment to see emails from Fredrick's of Hollywood popping up. Yeah, all class. Thankfully the IT person didn't say anything. Of course my 'Oh great... spam' comment was so fake it could have been a pair of tits.

After sitting around and twiddling my thumbs for two and a half hours my NB introduced me to more of the staff. We went over what I needed in the office, etc... and things like "How many ports do you need" were thrown at me. How the hell should I know is what I wanted to say. Instead I smiled and said, "Huh?" Yeppers, I'm quick on my feet. I'll bet they were real impressed with me. The regular cell phone VS Blackberry is still up in the air. Personally I could care less. I have a Treo and the smaller the phone the better. It's not like I'm living outside of my office. With an ocean view I might spend the night (just kidding Jake)!

Afterwards I contacted a woman in admissions to set up a meeting. I wanted to do a sort of meet and greet introduction. That way I could learn more about her functions and hopefully share what I do. Mind you, this is still with a hazy understanding of what the hell my job is. My BB described this woman as "Sweet, soft spoken and shy". Riiiight. I don't know what kind of drugs she was on when they spoke, but they obviously wore off by the time I entered the room. Instead, I was greeted by a high strung, defensive woman who basically all but said my job was a waste of time. After twenty minutes of brow beating and belittling I had had enough. I simply agreed that she needed to really talk to BB about my job since he had a clear vision of what it should be and explained more of what my function was. She went from "Your job is useless" to "Hey! That means we can dump a bunch of crap on you. Cool!" After nipping THAT little misconception in the bud she rushed me out so she could meet with another big boss (who she named dropped several times) at a meeting across the street. I didn't even mention that I had worked with that boss for years. I stayed behind and learned about the system they use (very cool). Five minutes later the other big boss walks in hopping mad. Apparently she fucked up and didn't read the room number they were meeting in. It was across the hall. He even said "Again?" when told she went across the street. Smooth.

I went back to my temporary spot (no phone or computer access) and chatted with BB's assistant. She's a complete doll and told me the scoop of some of the people. Yay for office gossip! I also called my NB and told her what happened with the meeting. She said she figured as much and it was more of a fact finding mission than anything. Too bad the woman was so nervous that I'd derail her job to give me many facts. Later on BB came out and said that he was going to meet with the Admin woman and explain my function. I said, "I met with her and she had some concerns" and left it at that. I'll let them duke it out and do whatever is decided.

Being back at UCLA is like coming home to the Mother Ship. I really missed the hustle and bustle of the place. So far I've seen eight people from the past (including the other big boss) and I feel like I'm finally home. So far everyone has had a laid back "It'll get worked out eventually" attitude. I think I'm so used to my OB's gloom and doom approach that I haven't been about to appreciate this new pace. I went from "Now Now NOW!" to "Eh. It'll work out. Just hang in there and have some more coffee." I could totally get used to this.

Second day finished. Accomplishments: This blog. Go me!

Today was an eventful day emotionally. It started at 7:30am and ended after 5pm. The first snag (that I have yet to learn the verdict of) came when I was filling out my paperwork. After learning that I change from biweekly to monthly paychecks I was given my job description. Under supervisor it said TBD. To be determined? WTF!?! Okay, so I made a mental note and tried to carry on without acting out. Afterwards I hiked over to get my parking sticker and bumped into some old coworkers. We chatted for a bit and then I called my supposedly NB. It was around 9am and she was in a meeting. I guess she figured I'd fuck around or something and said to get some coffee and water... and she'd meet me at 10:15am. Ooookay. So I started calling friends and no one was around. They were either at home studying or moved to another building that I didn't want to walk to. 10:15am came and went... and my NB was no where to be found. She showed up around 10:30 and we went into her office. After making comments such as 'things have changed since Friday' and 'we're not sure who you'll be under' and then 'we'll find out what your job really will be at 4pm when we meet with the Big Boss (BB)' I started to panick. Then she said we'd drive over to some woman's office in my car and see what I could do to help her. Oh sure, lose MY spot. Anyway, we arrived and met up with her (another really nice lady) and my NB says, "By the way, do you have a desk with a computer we can sit her at for a few weeks?" Yeah, I was sweating. These are the sorts of things I'd expect any job to have in place BEFORE hiring someone. I bit my tongue and figured I'd wait until 4pm before losing it. As we walked out my NB said, "I'm going to walk back. Why don't you go to Hosp. B and introduce yourself." I said okay and felt completely lost. I have no office. No phone. No business cards. What the hell am I supposed to say? "I, eventually you'll be officially meeting me and we'll go over the details. I just stopped in to say hi. What? A number? Uhhh... I'll get back to you on that." All class...

On the way to Hosp B I called up my friend (and Jake's boss) and had a mini melt down. She calmed me as much as she could, gave me some tips and told me she should be charging me. She also agreed that it wasn't a great way to do this. I had an interesting time at Hosp B. They looked at me as if they had no idea as to why I'd even come and I couldn't convince them that showing up without any business cards or call back numbers is the new way to do business. You know... the mysterious way. After that I bought MickyDs and contemplated my current job move. I also had three hours to kill before meeting my NB and BB. So I vented to a friend (who had suggested the job originally) and she agreed that it was a screwy way to start off. She said that six months from now I'll look back on this and laugh. I hope she's right. From my end it looks like a job that isn't even needed (the thing that changed on Friday was someone else taking over half my duties) and nothings in place for me to make sure it will be. I can't even dazzle em with brilliance or baffle em with bullshit sitting on a computer that isn't mine without any programs listed.

The meeting helped clear a lot up. The change on Friday will still be under my control (thank goodness) and the BB is awesome. He's really easy to talk to and a dynamite guy. I asked a few questions that they liked and we fleshed out my position some more. It's still a bit hazy but the duties seem a lot easier. Plus... I get my own cell phone, business cards and a 9th floor office that faces the ocean. Yeah, this could be nice. REAL nice.

As you can see this week has been hell. Yesterday my boss took me and two of my coworkers to lunch. And by 'took' I mean walked with. The lunch was next door at the Hilton. We had the overpriced buffet. Who pays $17 for a VERY low end salad bar and lunch meat? We ate, talked and I made damn sure we weren't rushed through lunch. It was supposed to be for me, but it ended up being a 'lets hear about how wonderful OB is and all her thoughts on everything'. Whatever. It was her dime. I did get her back when it came to the gift time. She gave me an engraved lipstick holder (yeah, I know...). I opened up the box and she excitedly said, "Look at what it says!" I looked, smiled and said, "Oh! How nice! They spelled it wrong though." You should have seen her face. I waited a few seconds and turned to towards her, saying, "Just kidding...". Yes, I'm an ass. But she sooo deserved it. When the bill came she passed it to my coworkers telling them their portion. I didn't realize she wasn't paying. I felt so embarrassed. At least I got to take a breather from work. Today should be insane, but that's okay. It'll be over in about nine hours and I am going to decompose. The funny part? It really hasn't sunk in that I'm not coming back on Monday. Wish me luck!

This morning my OB had the usual meeting with the AAs. She talked about me leaving for a bit and mentioned that 'she taught me everything I know' and she'd be 'taking back reports' from me... as if she knew how to do them. So I spent the latter part of the day working on the big report instructions. You know, the one that goes to all the big wigs over the hospital. So far I've managed to simply list where she can get all the information. Fuck her if she thinks she knows all the data. She can figure out how to enter them into the Excel graphs embedded into Word without fucking up the whole thing. I'm not going to worry about it. She can kiss my VERY white ass if she thinks I'm that useless. 'Take them back'. HAH. Four more work days, man. Four more work days.

I am still reeling from this morning. OB says, "Odessa, I got this weird email from NB telling me that your end date was going to have to be May 30th. Why did she send me that?" I told her that it was in response to her statement and she said, "I didn't say you were staying longer. You asked ME if you could." I blinked. I dropped my jaw. I let out a high screechy "WHAT!?!" that made dogs cringe. She insisted I was the one that asked to stay longer. Oh sure. Because I WANT to stay in a job with a boss that's psychotic. We went back and forth for over twenty minutes. Each refusing to back down. She said I started it by asking if I could stay. I countered with a "Did not!" and she said that why did I mention the end date? "Because Ann wanted to confirm and I asked you as a courtesy. Because YOU said you may need me longer." Yeah, I hate this job so hard right now.

Later on our IT guy got a dose of Creepy IT Chick to boot. He sat to use my computer while I went to cool off and I came back to her talking some sort of shit about me. He was NOT happy. He finally snapped at her that he makes the IT decisions for our department and that some sort of freeware would NOT be installed. I found out later she was telling him to install some sort of freeware so OB could screen capture easier. She walked out of my cubicle huffing and making smart remarks. I tried to calm him down (and he's usually unflappable). I waved the three hole puncher in front of him and said, "Look what I've got. Need anything punched?" He said in a REALLY loud voice, "Yeah, HER!" Awwwwkward. But funny. Really funny.

I called my new boss this morning and explained the situation regarding my email and my OB's misinformation. She asked if I was ready to get out of there. Heh. I said yes, but I wanted to make sure it was okay on her end. She's the one that has to continue to work with my OB and I didn't want to cause any friction. She said she'd talk to her boss and let me know what they decided. I understand them needing to be diplomatic to an extent. They still have to work together in certain areas, etc... I love her response to my OB saying that she hasn't even posted my position. "That's her fault." Awesomeness. Pure awesomeness. The bottom line is she's going to discuss it with my other boss and their boss to make a decision. At the most my last day will be June 7th. My NB also said she was hoping I'd be able to take some time off before starting my new job. I said, "I wish!" and she said she'll see what they can do. OMG. I am going to love this job so hard.

My finger is on the delete button and I am so tempted to wipe out everything. Information sent to me that I'd normally save is looked at with a quiet chuckle and a 'won't be needing this' whisper before being round filed. Issues and complaints are met with a 'do you reeeeaaally think I care' look until said person gets the hint and walks away. Extra job duties? HAH! Seriously... HAH! Statements like 'We're totally screwed' are met with a knowing glance and ever so slight smirk. Sometimes I even throw in an occasional 'yeppers' before nodding and turning to continue with my report instructions. Yesterday's last minute head game set me into 'fuck you all' overdrive. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends here and will miss them dearly. But the work? Yeah, just like I'd miss dental appointments, mammograms and pap smears.

This morning my OB (old boss) decided to fuck up my mellow. My new boss emailed me to confirm the start date for my new position. I asked my OB and she said, "Tell her I haven't even posted the job yet and want to know when she need me by. The longer she stays with me the better". Then she stood over me to make sure I typed it in verbatim. I wanted to scream. The worst part is that I can't even say shit about it. Since I'm transferring within the same hospital it's up to the managers to duke it out. What's worse is I can't even say anything because it wouldn't be appropriate to bad mouth my OB to my NB. Since my NB is off for a few days I won't even know the outcome until then. So yeah. I am not a happy camper.

Later on in the day she sent an email saying that I should no longer be handling any business related calls and if someone calls me I need to forward them to her and let them know I am leaving so she can delegate who will take over the task. A minute later she emailed me to do a report for her. Do you know how hard it was not to forward the email to her and say it needs to be delegated?

The Creepy IT Chick tried to pull yet another fast one. Instead of saying she forgot something in her Macros she claimed my old boss claimed that was the way she was told to do it. Of course I was in the same meeting... so I knew that was total bullshit. When I tried to explain how it SHOULD be done, she started shaking her head like a two year old having a fit, as if I was in the wrong. Yeah, because we WANT our numbers to be incorrect. Oy. I pulled her confused ass into my OB's office faster than you can say 'you're full of shit' and left it to her to decide. CITC is really good at fast talk and OB was half a nod away from agreeing with her when I jumped in. I had to draw diagrams, print data and a fucking legend before OB realized that I was correct and CITC was out of her fucking mind. Again. My favorite part was after I went to great pains to not do the 'you said' line and stated 'I believe it's CITC's understanding that...' and when I asked if that sounded about right she replied (looking at OB), 'Yes. It was my und... I mean YOU told me to do this...' All class. All class. In the end I was right, she was wrong and I have yet to get my Monthly reports finished. I can tell that she wasn't thrilled about me yanking her ass into OB's office. Just wait until OB expects something from her and I'm not here to buffer. She won't be able to fast talk her way out of that one with all the caffeine, cocaine and meth in the world.

This morning was fun. Again... My OB (old boss) was in rare form, jumping down everyone's throat and freaking out about stupid shit. Then we met (again) about my duties. This time she pulled another staff member in to give the news of what duties they would be taking over. After the usual list she started talking about how everyone needs to learn more Excel, that it will help them in their career, blah blah blah... Whatever. Then she added, "When Odessa started she didn't know anything." Uhh.... Excuse me? WTF!?! While I wasn't the Master Chart Maker or Quick Draw McFormulas... I DID know Excel. I corrected her and she back stepped... adding how much more I've learned. Cow... Anyway, the person taking over mentioned to me about how she should get a raise for 'taking over all my duties'. Because I'm leaving and don't give a fuck I snapped back, "All of them? Please. You're not even getting a portion. But if you feel that way then by all means... ask for one." That shut her up. Considering most of the duties she got are really something she should have been doing from the start... yeah, no tears from this cubicle.

Oh yes, this will be fun. And by 'fun' I mean ripping out my spleen and having it shoved down my throat. My old boss has decided that she's going to take her time to get a replacement. Instead, she's having me train the nurses (Read: NO Word/Excel background) and her on my duties. Weeee! Are you sick of me bitching about it yet? Tough shit. Anyway, I now have to write instructions like it's an Admin Assistants for Dummies book and pray that it passes enough to not have to rewrite a gazillion times. On the positive side... this may mean I won't have to stay at this position any longer than my thirty days since she's not going to have me train a replacement. *crosses fingers, eyes and toes*

Our new temp has this... laugh. At first I couldn't place it. I know it was slightly annoying and slightly creepy. But it was also familiar. Friday morning it hit me. Duran Duran's Nowhere Girl. There's creepy forced laughter in the beginning of the song. It's EXACTLY how she sounds. I keep waiting for the echo and the bad hairdo to cue in after each breath. I don't think the laugh would bother me as much if it didn't sound so... forced. I understand that trying to fit in when you're a temp is tough, but fake laughter seems to push people away. Every time she laughs I can see 'Oh G-d, make her stop' expressions on the faces of my coworkers. I could be evil and tell her a really, really obnoxious joke and then leave the office... but I don't want to spend the last days at my job picking Temp flesh off of my desk. Not to mention I would totally lose any chance of a going away party. Fuck that shit. I'll have my party yet. *flips off lazy coworker*

Yesterday was trying to say the least. The lazy coworker decides to once again play the 'my phone went on Make Busy (meaning no calls can go through) on it's own'. After running some reports on the phone software I spoke with the phone IT guy who felt it wasn't a phone issue, but her placing herself on MB. To test this he asked if we could switch phones with someone who wasn't having that issue (namely anyone else). I offered to switch and went to tell my 'old' boss. She was in a pissy mood and snapped that she "Just wanted the reports. That's all. JUST the reports." I stomped out, grabbed the reports and put them on her desk. She countered my stomping by snatching the reports up and slapping them down in front of her. I attempted to explain the report, with her interrupting and saying "I underSTAND that' every other sentence. She then said it three times in a row and said she simply wanted "C" to explain why the phone went on MB. She even added, "I was there when it happened". When I responded with, "You were THERE? You were standing IN HER OFFICE and saw it go to MB?" Then she clarified in the most pissy voice she could that she called her and couldn't reach her because it was on MB. I wanted to scream. The answer she wanted would be impossible to give without having a video camera pointing in the cubicle at that very moment. Reports can only go so far. But of course she already knew that. Twit. I stormed out of the office, slowing down just long enough to yell out, "C, will you explain the reports to 'old boss'?". I didn't even wait for an answer. I went over to her boss's assistant. You know, the 'real' assistant. I blew off steam for a bit. She told me she couldn't believe I lasted so long. She's right. I have no idea why I stayed here this long. Yesterday's little fit was just a sampling of what I've been dealing with. Years of rude and inappropriate behavior. Every time she simply shrugs it off with a 'you know how I am' attitude. As if that makes it okay. It's my fault for allowing it to continue. I fully accept that. But I'll be damned if that behavior is going to fly with the next assistant, no matter HOW much they need the job. Minor annoyance: My old boss gives me an exit review. I wasn't thrilled to hear about THAT. So much for me storming back into her office and telling her off. *sigh* So now I wait for another three weeks before finding out if my last day is on the 30th or not. This weekend I'm going into hibernating.

So one of my coworkers wants to apply for my position. She's a good worker... when she wants to be. But *most* of the time she talks to her family members either on the phone or when they stop by her desk and chat for twenty minutes. She's also the one that is easily swayed with gossip and bullies other employees. All those are doable... considering my boss would ride her like a Stallion and break her into a pony. The part that *really* bugs the shit out of me is that she has NO experience with Word, Excel, Access or PowerPoint. I've tried to show her things from time to time and she would have none of it. To be fair... none of them would. Why learn something when I could do it? The worst part is she's had to use Excel in the past. The other day she asked me about the position and I said it was report heavy. Her response, "Well you didn't know it when you started, right?" WTF!?! Why does everyone think I was a total moron when I started at my position. The *only* thing I wasn't used to doing was graphs. Even then I had done some. And when I was hired we had one or two major reports a month. Now I have a total of 32 reports to do every day. That's before I update all my weekly, monthly and quarterly reports. Then there are the reports I'm asked to do on the fly. considering she didn't know how to add a column or make a title, her learning curve is straight up. I don't mind teaching someone my duties... but I'll be damned if I'm going to teach them how to use the programs. Fuck that.

The twit, by the way, is me. After consulting with the letter G-ds (Cat and Jake) I finalized my official farewell letter and sent it off to let everyone know I was out of here. First glitch was the group email. Basically... It was wrong. After resending it the next morning Jake IMs me about the email forward I left. the first draft of the farewell email was a sample I found on the web. I deleted, changed and sent to Cat for review. What I didn't realize is the email linked part of the address from the sample, which wasn't even close to my work address. After pondering the idea of getting the email address I decided to recall the email and replace with a new one. I was halfway there and accidentally clicked off of the new email. Instead of canceling the recall it simply deleted without any replacement. That meant I had to see which of the twenty to thirty people opened the email before resending. FINALLY I resent the email to everyone and the responses started flowing in. Some had already heard through the gossip vine. Others were shocked but tickled pink that I was finally getting away from my boss. All wished me well and said they'd probably still be working with me in some form or fashion. Lovely... it's like a bad penny. One coworker saw the failed recall email (I hate that it shows that) and asked if that meant I wasn't leaving. I refrained from saying, "Not very fucking likely" and simply explained it was to try and correct an email error. Whatever.

Later on in the day I was told I needed to train one of the nurses to do my daily reports. I went through and counted how many different reports I did and it ended up being twenty seven. I thought the nurse was going to faint. I have yet to write out how to do the major report... and am not looking forward to it. Try explaining how to change Excel graphs imbedded into a Word document to someone who doesn't know how to change Margins. It's one thing to show someone how to do this when they understand Word and Excel... but I'll be damned if I'm going to teach someone the basics of a program so they'll fuck up the document and blame me for not teaching them right.

Since I worked so hard (Read: forwarded to Cat and Jake) on my farewell email that I thought I'd post it here for posterity.

Hello Everyone,

As some of you may know, I will be leaving my position at the [old department] sometime in the next month. I have accepted a newly-created position with the [new job department], and I want to take this opportunity to say goodbye to each of you.

I am deeply grateful to have worked with such a warm, wonderful group of individuals. I have immensely enjoyed working here, and I appreciate having had this opportunity to work alongside you.

During the past several years, each of you has provided me with support, encouragement and guidance. As a result, I feel I have grown immensely; both personally and professionally. I have shared a unique camaraderie with each of you, which I hope will continue in the future - even if I may no longer work with you directly.

I look forward to the challenges and personal growth that will come with my future position, though I will remember my time with the [old job] fondly.

I wish you the best of luck and an abundance of success in the future.

Please feel free to reach me via email at [CORRECT email here].

Warm regards,

Odessa

In other words: Laterz! LOL!

I don't know why, but I keep feeling like I have to whisper about my new job. I should be standing on my chair and shouting it to the heavens... but instead I've been pulling people aside and quietly letting them know. Part of me doesn't want to rub it in too much. There's going to be some problems right after I go... especially with those who never managed to get their work done and I picked up the slack (without telling the boss). Why start another fight that will end up being my fault? I'd rather just get the job done and have my reports ready on time. A quick fix that ultimately created a lazy attitude. I'm sure I'll be more vocal about my job as it nears. Right now I have to get my ass in gear and update report instructions, create other report instructions, and basically deal with my boss trying to follow the instructions. Yeah, that's going to be fun. NOT.

Or... as I sent to everyone on AIM: "I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!!!!!! OMG!" I spent the day fretting about what to do. I haven't heard from the people who interviewed me and I was torn between contacting them or waiting. Half of my friends said to do it, the other half said to wait. After some goading from the 'DO IT' camp I shot off an email and held my breath. Within a minute the phone rang. They offered me the job and said they'd work with my boss on the end date. Formally it's one month. But they would understand if she needed me a bit longer. I agreed and we joked around a bit. I couldn't tell you anything she said after that. All I kept thinking was that they wanted me and I'm finally out of here. FINALLY. Now to write a formal resignation letter that doesn't have the words "Fuck you" anywhere in them. It's tougher than I thought...

Every time my phone rings my heart beats a little faster. Every time it's NOT the call I'm waiting for my heart aches a little more. My boss said when she asked if they knew when a decision would be made the answer was 'probably sometime this afternoon'. That was Monday. I realize that decision doesn't equal phone call... but then again maybe it does. I've slipped and told others about my possible new job, including the lazy coworker who I can't stand. If it falls through then I'll feel even more of a failure. My boss will probably be supportive for about an hour... then ride my ass like it's the World Series for Rodeos. I can also see her start the 'let's see what you're doing wrong so we (meaning she) can fix it. And by wrong I mean everything I do. And by fix it I mean critique everything from my style to my breathing. I called my friend this morning and she said I sounded like a nervous wreck. She's right. It's one thing to apply for a job and not get it. It's quite another for everyone to know you didn't get it. Especially since I would go from 'top candidate' to loser in the time it takes to make a courtesy phone call... or open a dear Jane letter. So now I'm left waiting and wanting to know, and that's the worst part. I want them to be sure I'm right for the position. I want them to have confidence that they chose the best person. As long as it's me....

I went through my cubicle yesterday and realized there's a whole lotta crap saved that I don't need. Everything from joke clippings to reminders of appointments... from 2001. I've started clearing out all the extra things that I haven't used in forever. Every once in a while I'll come across something I just can't part with... like my letter giving notice to my last position.

Working in the Operating Room was a blast. The hours sucked balls. I worked almost every weekend (13 days in a row then one day off... then six days in a row) and holidays. I worked 8 hours on the weekday, and 12 on the weekends/holidays. Seniority meant dick in that area. Then there was my boss. I trained her for the position and when she felt she knew enough (which she didn't) she started raining hell on all those who weren't on her good side. Eventually that included me. At my 10 year mark at UCLA I decided I needed a change. I wanted Monday through Friday hours. My dating was erratic and it was time to find someone special. It took me two years to find something I liked... and that was only with a friend suggesting it. By then I went from the OR's golden girl to a fuck up (in my boss's eyes). She wrote a less than stellar evaluation and I thought I was fucked. Luckily my current boss saw through the personal issue and gave me a chance. For that I will be forever grateful. When I told the higher up, a doctor who knew of all the crap and supported me privately (which didn't do shit when it came down to it) he said, "You know the OR will fall to it's knees, don't you?" I told him, "Yes, but maybe that's just what it needs". With that I wrote out my two week notice. A simple "My last day in this department will be" kinda thing. Nothing pleasant. No thank yous. More of a "fuck you" than anything. My new boss called and said "You're hired, but I need to talk to your current boss." No problem. I put her on hold and turned to the bitch and simply handed her the note, saying "My last day will be in two weeks. My new boss wants to speak with you. She's on line two." It was a burn that I felt good about. Regardless of how she treated me for the next two weeks... that day was awesome. I was given a goodbye cake that showed up on my desk and sat there... because hardly anyone knew. I left in tears... because I really did love my job. Two weeks after that my old boss was given two choices: Be demoted or fired. It took four people to do my job. Something I'm really proud of. I think I'll keep this letter... just because. *smiles*

Two weeks before my birthday I was joking around with a coworker. We were complaining about my boss and her behavior (apparently she has a reputation throughout the hospital). I shot off a 'so find me a job' comment and she fired back with 'I will'. I said I wasn't kidding and she said either was she. Two days later she said she knew about a position that would be 'perfect' for me, but needed to talk to the director about it. A few days after that she said she emailed the person in charge of the job. She said, "Here's the thing. Originally they said they had someone in mind already. The next morning they called me and said that if you were really interested to call or page them." I was so nervous I could scream. After freaking out to Cat and Jake I sent off a friendly email saying I'd love to talk to them about the position. Then I waited. And waited.My friend said the person got my email and 'nearly jumped out of her chair with excitement'. That's a good sign...

Friday, the day before my birthday, I got the call. Let's meet on Monday. Figures... the day I took off to take my car in. I happily agreed and the timeline started. Again I panicked and asked Cat, Jake and Pattie for help on my resume. I hadn't written one in almost ten years. I was beyond nervous. This was such a huge step for me and I had dick prepared for it. After several drafts I finally had one I was happy with... just in time for them to ask me if I had one. Thank goodness for the kindness of friends.

Monday came and I managed to get my car back just in time. It felt so good to be back at UCLA. I ran into a few people who recognized me and made my way up to the office. I was dressed to the nines. They ended up being in casual wear. Heh. The interview lasted over an hour and a half. They loved my resume (thank you Pattie, Cat and Jake!) and even said things like "You used the word 'problem solver' which I really like, so I'm going to use it here". I walked out feeling good. Nervous, but good. The job sounds like a dream come true. It's being created as we speak, so I'll set the rules instead of trying to follow rules that may or may not have been changed by previous people. The only not so cool part is that my hours will be until 7pm at first. Once they see if the workload is slow (or they are able to hire new people) I will be able to have an earlier shift. No more Assistant to anyone. Dude... That alone is a dream come true. The difference between being an assistant to someone and having a supervisor is like day and night. As in sucking balls VS having them slapped across your face.

After a week went by the process started rolling. I got a call saying "You're one of the top candidates" and they were going to call references. Last Friday I got the call saying I was "the TOP candidate", and we needed to speak to your boss. My heart started racing. My hands were shaking. They said to let them know when they could call her after I let her know. My boss came back from a meeting and I made my way into her office. People couldn't understand why I was so nervous. To me, it was like I was breaking up with her. We had spent almost ten years together. We had many bad times, but there were many good ones too. And this job really molded me. I changed so much from when I first started. Some good, some bad. I was pushed into a position that I didn't want for a person I didn't enjoy working with. I learned to create graphs (ha ha), different reports and help manage a department. There was a lot of responsibility placed on me and I was up to the task. But there were bad parts too. My friend Michi said my boss was breaking me. Making me feel as if I wasn't worthy of doing a good job. She's right. I felt like they wouldn't want me when in fact I should feel like I needed to decide if I wanted them. Twenty years experience is nothing to sneeze at. And it's twenty years of growing, not just showing up at the job. But my boss was good at making people feel like they were failing. Any choice was the wrong one. I needed to grow a pair and move up.

My meeting went well. She was happy for me and even shook my hand. She said that if she could find a job closer to home without losing a big chunk of her salary she'd do so in a minute. She also looked sad. It was like we were coming to the end of something and both having to deal with it in different ways. I explained that I wouldn't go until the new hospital was running (whenever the hell that is) and I would do reports for her from home when needed. She said she'd give me a glowing review and with that I walked out of her office, hands shaking and waiting to hear when they'd call. So now everyone is talking about my 'new job' and all I can say is that I won't call it that until they actually tell me I have it. For now I'm the 'top candidate'. For now....

I want details! I want descriptions! I want to fucking know every time they breathed. My friend, on the other hand, wants to summarize a VERY important conversation. She ended it with a "Don't worry. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." Fuck that shit. I want to worry. I want to know. I want to panic. I want to fret and dissect the conversation for any innuendoes that may mean something but most likely mean absolute dick. Right now I feel like I'm going to burst and the only thing I can say is 'I'll let you all know soon... either way'. As it is I feel like the 'either way' is not going to be a happy one. *sigh*

Some days I wonder why I even come into work. Then I remember the bills.... A coworker comes up to me while I'm on the phone and says she'll come back. No problem. She pops by a while later, still on the phone. She says she'll come back. Do you see a pattern arising? She comes by AGAIN and I stop her from leaving. You know... because being on the phone isn't going to change. She announces that she's locked out of her computer and can't get in. Oy... I call the IT guy and he tells her to restart. I go back to my call. A while later she comes by to let me know she still can't get onto her computer. And by 'a while' I mean 'over an hour'. I contact the IT guy who tells her to restart and it's lather, rinse, repeat. So she comes up tell tell me that she has yet to get onto her computer and I ask her why she didn't tell me. 'You were busy'. WTF!?! I'm ALWAYS busy. I tell her to stick a note under my face if I'm on a call and she says, 'It's not that serious'. Oooookay. Cue the boss coming in late and finding out said coworker hasn't been able to sign onto her computer for two hours. Guess who's fault it is. I'll give you ONE guess. So yeah, I get the fucking riot act for not going over to her desk and standing there while she tried to sign onto her computer. The last I heard it's a password issue... otherwise known as a UE. Now I'm told the hard drive is going bad and it's still my fault that she didn't tell me she couldn't get in. Any rational person who's job solely relies on them being able to sign into the computer would raise hell if they couldn't get on. Yeah... welcome to UCLA. Home of the lazy. Meanwhile I'm working through lunch (as usual) and my boss said, "I could have kicked you out of your cubicle so she could have a spot, but I found other people." Gee, thanks. You're so kind.

I'm sitting at my desk when I hear a noise. An... odd noise. Then my shoe feels funny. I look down and there's a HUGE rip about two inches wide all the way up the back of my leg. Luckily I'm wearing a long skirt... otherwise people would be blinded. After rummaging through my desk drawers I find a lone package of nylons. An OLD package. I cross my fingers that the elastic is still good and slink my way to the bathroom, walking like a true diva. Slightly leaning back so the skirt covers my leg. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I probably looked like a total retard. Huurrrr! You'll be happy to know that all is well and I won't be rolled into the ocean anytime soon. The nylons fit snugly, which means I'll be sitting proper for the rest of the day. Straight up with tits out... like the sexy bitch that I am.

This morning they had the weekly meeting with the AAs in my office. One of the coworkers who I like got verbally jumped about being slow with her duties. To be fair... she is slower than the rest. But she's also more thorough and the most pleasant to talk to. So of course I jumped in when I shouldn't have... which makes it look like I'm just sticking up for her. But whatever. Everyone offers something to their job. What the speedy demons add in speed they take away in customer service. *sigh*

So the server. Yeah... It's been choking on a big one lately. I have no idea why either. All I ask is that it not gork over the weekend so I can have an nice enjoyable weekend that doesn't involve volleying emails between my host and the people who maintain my server.

I may have big news but need to hold off sharing it. *smiles* Anyway, my birthday is tomorrow. Another year older, yet none the wiser. Yeppers, that just about sums it up!

I hate when something random makes me think of some even more random song and it gets stuck in my head. This morning a patient called that couldn't quite decide what she wanted.

Uhhh: I'd like uhh...
Me: Yes?
Uhhh: I'd uhh like... Uhhh
Uhhh: I'd like to... uhhh...
Me: Teach the world to sing? Furnish it with love?
Uhhh: What?
Me: Nothing, Maam. What would you like?

Suffer, bitches...

We have a line dedicate to Physicians. It clearly states to push this option if you are a physician or calling from a physician's office. So every day I get inundated with stupid people who can't seem to grasp the fact that they are NOT physicians and then can't seem to comprehend the very simple question I ask when I realize these 'less than stellar' individuals are NOT from the professional field. Usually within a word or two. Take the phone call I just received:

Me: Are you a physician or calling from a physician's office?
Idiot: Uhhhhh....
Me: Are you a physician or calling from a physician's office?
Idiot: Uhhhh... I wa..
Me: Are you a physician or calling from a physician's office?
Idiot: I just..
Me: Maam... ARE YOU A PHYSICIAN?
Idiot: No
Me: Do you WORK for a physician?
Idiot: I uhh....
Me: Do you work in a physician's office?
Idiot: No. I...
Me: Let me get you to the patient line. This line is for PHYSICIANS ONLY

I swear to G-d... I don't know how these people managed to live this far in life. Anyway... Yeah, stupidity. It annoys me.

My limit is seven apparently. My boss hit me with twelve emails. Three asking for the same thing. Two updating. This is in the span of five minutes. I was already doing the daily reports (12 different reports lumped into one end result report). On top of that I'm dealing with patient complaints, VIP patients and doctors wanting to refer their patients. All at the same time. One report I missed her comment about simply letting her know when it was done so that she could send it. Then she added that I didn't add a heading to it so they could figure out what information they were looking at. Both totally my fault. Even so... I couldn't help but feel that she was baiting me into fucking up. She's adding different reports, changing how she wants them... then calling me about new reports at the same time. I'm so tired and just feel like crying. The worst part is that she said she wanted to start putting everything in writing (paper trail) because we aren't on the same page anymore. No shit. I'm back on page twenty and she's on page 55/92/3/67/89/6/and all of the above. I know she has a suspicion about the job offer. Either someone reads my rants and tells her (FUCK YOU) or she's so nosy she listens to more than I think she can. Either way... I feel like my time here is growing short and I'd better get my ass in gear.

Yeah, so my boss just HAD to be a cow. So much for her being in a good mood after her birthday. She intercoms me to create a report for another department. I asked her what criteria she wanted and she respond "The one you do all the time for them." *blink* Since when? I literally sat there... staring at her. I finally said, "I don't remember doing one 'all the time'. Could you give me a hint on what they want at least?" She snaps back that I did one about a year ago or so when they were going to blah blah blah.... So apparently ONCE over a year ago is 'ALL THE TIME' in her book. Even she realized the absurdity in that statement and lowered her voice towards the end. IDIOT. I create so many different reports for so many people that it's impossible to remember every detail. Especially when they ask for different criteria each time. And doubly especially if the said report is OVER A YEAR OLD. Jake, in all his wisdom added "I get laid ALL THE TIME! Works for internet nerds".

Oh yes... this is just priceless. I emailed the person for the prior report so that I could see what criteria they wanted. They forwarded me the last email I sent with the report attached... dated MAY 2006. She can just eat my ass today. Seriously.

I was talking to a manager about a case the other day and they complimented me about how helpful I was. I quipped "Hire me" and they said they'd love to. I said I was serious and they said, "So am I". With that I floated through the day. The next day we spoke again and they mentioned having a few positions in mind but needing to run it past the director first. I didn't push. If it happens it will be great. If not, it was a glimpse into what I need to do to get out of my current position. I need to start now. I need clothes. I need to start exercising more. I need to start feeling better about my situation. I need to come to work when on death's doorstep so I can accumulate some sick time and not have a bad looking record. I was honest about my work situation and that I was not looking for anything in particular. I really do enjoy my job. I like *most of* the people I work with and tolerate those that annoy me. Even my boss, for all her faults, isn't the worst I've had. She's gotten a LOT better. The biggest downfall I see is that she refuses to acknowledge that she's done a good job and has some wiggle room to ask for things. She still jumps and asks is this high enough when anyone looks her way and never tells people to back off. It's sad really. She's more interested in getting the approval of people who have nothing to do with her job than making the people who work for her happy. I am not looking for a new job to get away from her. She's manageable. But I'd rather be in a position where I was appreciated more and the duties weren't expected on a whim. I don't even have a job description... but if I did it would have one word on it: Peon.

We're the only office officially open for the Admin Holiday. This means we get all the 'I'm trying to make an appointment at the clinic but they're closed' calls. As if we can do anything but say, "Yes, they are closed. You'll have to call back on Monday." Then listen to them whine and bitch and moan about how they want to make their appointment NOW. I'm in a "Fuck off" mood, so it has not been pleasant. Meanwhile the pot luck party is in full swing and I have been keeping a VERY low profile so I'm not bombarded with comments. I couldn't pay so I'm not going to just mooch. I even had a coworker call in sick and say, "The drinks I brought are your donation. So now you can go!" I respectfully declined and felt about an inch high. Just leave me alone to my food that I brought and eat your damn pot luck! *grumbles*

I seem to have lost my train of thought. I've spent the day correcting a simple spreadsheet no less than seven times. The corrections are stupid shit that I totally should have caught. Like putting the wrong dates. THREE times. My boss finally put her head on the table and just gave up. I'm sure part of it is that I need my monthly vitamin B12. That's the thing with having my surgery. You can't slide on the vitamins. I have to do some major reports and simply don't have the ability to concentrate. Not good. Sooooo not good.

In other news we learned about a coworker that was let go with the other Britney snoopers. She was given the option of retiring or having her ass fired. She retired. I like the gal but think they should have fired her ass just like everyone else who violated HIPAA to peek into the life of someone in the entertainment business. I don't care WHAT they do for a living or what kind of person they are personally. Everyone deserves privacy. Everyone. You violate their privacy, you get shitcanned. End of story. I don't care what you are. Janitor, doctor, administrator. Same fate for the same offense. It doesn't matter what they saw, either. They still went into the records with the intent to view private documents. With the amount of emails that we received about HIPAA and the consequences for violating patient privacy anyone who went ahead and did it was a complete moron and doesn't need to be dealing with patient care.

We're supposed to have a potluck this Friday and guess who isn't joining in. Yeppers... You guessed it. Moi. With three days of no pay I am just barely making it and don't have enough to fork out for anything extra. Ironically it's supposed to be a general potluck/birthday celebration for the April birthdays (which means me). Personally I could give a rats ass about it, especially after the decision to make people bring their own cake was decided. Of course this little party was planned up by my boss since it's her 50th, which still makes the whole decision a load of crap. Everyone brings their own cake if they want to celebrate... except for mine. Yeah, real class.

I haven't even bothered to tell them. I figure when they ask I'll let them know. I'm just so done with this place lately it's beyond silly. Stupid rules, stupid peole and the person who gets the shaft has been me. Anyway, enough bitching and moaning and whining and griping. I have chocolate. Any day is a good day when there's enough chocolate around.

Creepy IT chick strikes again. After offering up the world she comes through with Jersey. I've been waiting to finalize a major report for four days. She was supposed to run a Macro that gave me all these wonderful numbers. They gave me numbers all right... just the wrong ones. I spent all this time trying to just get everything else ready so I just had to insert the last part and it was for nothing. First my boss changes two parts of my report (four more reports instead of two). Then she says she only wanted ONE part changed. She gives me three days to finalize it and on the fourth (when it was due) I was still waiting on the numbers. Here's the kicker. I said I could redo a years worth of data to make the report look nice. CITC said no problem. Then at 4:45pm yesterday (you know... when I usually leave) she announces the data WON'T be the same because we changed how we gave it to her a few months back. WTF!?!?! If she told me this I could have either sent her the updated data or at least finalized the fucking report. So here I am, busting ass to redo the last section while my boss is bitching at me. I also told her which sections she'd have to work on HOURS before so it would be finalized when I entered my info. Did she do anything? Of course not! Instead she sat there fuming at 5:08am as I packed my shit up and walked out the door. I'll be damned if I'm going to stay over to listen to her bitch about why SHE didn't do her info. Today she seemed okay with it, although she managed to twist around how it was my fault for Mary not notifying me about the data change. This from a woman who can't keep a fucking email that was sent to her FIVE seconds prior.

Tired.... But Smiling
Originally uploaded by j00wish

This weekend is going to be spent fucking around and NOT thinking about work. I also plan on sleeping in... which means my cats will be on death watch if the even so much as peep at me. Phoebe had decided that 2am is a great time to get some late night lovin. Considering Jake doesn't even get that, I'll be damned if I'm going to pay attention to a cat. First order of business is to get a new squirt bottle for the bedroom. Pronto. If I even hear a peep I'm aiming and firing in that general direction. Expect stories of wet cats and early morning mop ups in the near future. If that doesn't work I'm buying a Super Soaker.

My boss finally arrived at work at around 11am, still sick but on the mend. I can't believe she's even attempting to come in... especially how sick she was. She also managed to forget her keys and asked to borrow mine. "Okay, only if you wash them off afterwards." It's the little things that make my life enjoyable these days. I had to practically pinch myself so I didn't smirk while saying that.

Here's the latest scoop on my ever dramatic life in the cubicles of hell that we call work. The lazy cow who pitched a fit about buying a cake for my friend and coworker? Yeah, she's spear heading a pot luck birthday for my boss, another coworker and yours truly. I fucking kid you not. I am beyond chaffed about this. I got the email and practically yelled out "fuck you" before deleting it. My friend intercommed me to express her extreme displeasure about this whole ordeal (IE: It fucking sucks). Personally I'd rather give them the finger and just stick to celebrating my birthday privately. I'll probably get my SARS carrying boss something since its a special birthday... maybe a rhinestone mask.

I am so angry right now I could just spit. *spits* My boss has decided to come in today after a meeting and asked me to help make a doctor's appointment for her. The reason? She's coughing up green (IE CONTAGEOUS) and needs antibiotics. The idea that she's even in a meeting infecting people is beyond rude. But to tell me she's going to be coming her and bringing her germs in when my resistance is already low is just beyond... words. I want to tell her to stay away. I want to tell her to keep her infectious ass home and have some fucking respect for all the people around her. I don't even have a mask or some Lysol to spray around me. If I get sick again it's going to be Workman's Comp... Fucking cow.

I am gloating. It's a bad BAD thing to do... but I just can't help it. My boss called in sick today and she sounds bad. Like she's suffering. Like... she has the same shit that knocked me on my ass. I can't even pinch an ounce of pity for her either. All I can do is just sit here with a smirk on my face and think, "It's about fucking time".

Before you shake your head... I spent last night driving home and until I went to sleep in tears. Because of the recent car lawsuit (to be explained later) and other issues I've been pretty tight on finances. To the bone, so to speak. So this illness couldn't have come at a worse time. The last three days I was out it was without pay. My boss *could* okay my use of vacation time, but it's her choice. She chose not to. I have worked my ass off for her, staying after hours and working from home. She has called me on my days off and generally just been a bitch to me. Still... I've supported her. So her telling me 'I have to find out from HR' and then holding off on telling me until the end of the day (knowing I'd be upset) really put a bad taste in my mouth. She knows my financial situation. It's not because I've spent money on bullshit things. Now I'm weighing my options on how to get by until my taxes come in. The part that angers me the most is she made some sort of third person decision. "THEY said I had to stick to policy". Fuck you. I know the policy. It's the supervisor's discretion. So now Karma slapped her for being such a cow to me and my gloating pretty much means I need to do some serious good deeds to not get hit again. Does buying Girlscout cookies from little girls pass as a good deed?

My boss is at work... sick. Not even just a little sick, either. She's coughing up a storm and not even covering her mouth. the ignorance astounds me. How someone who has been a nurse for almost thirty years can think that sitting in an office somehow makes everyone immune from your illness. I've been wearing long sleeves to I don't have to touch doors and doorknobs. The ventilation system sucks ass so that's the first issue. We're all breathing the same air. someone coughs on the far right and it comes right over to our side.

Right now I have zero sick time and am sweating bullets. I was out for three days without pay and my boss hasn't said anything so I guess I'm humped this next paycheck. I don't even want to risk going in there to ask her if I can use my vacation... especially since she's 'in a mood'. Add to that that she's been talking about retiring more and more... I'm so screwed if she does. Showing 20 years experience means dick when you don't have any sick time to show for it. If my leg gets chopped off I'm going to wrap it in an ace bandage and hop my way into work.

Yeah, so the lazy coworker managed to fuck up any future birthdays. They took a vote (at her insistance) and now if you want to celebrate your birthday you bring your own cake. Give me a fucking break. I always looked forward to having that done by someone. I don't have family and most of my friends aren't local. In short... It's the only time I really have a group of people sing happy birthday to me. I'll be damned if I'm going to buy a fucking cake for myself and bring it to work. That's just sad. My boss knew it was going to piss me off, so she didn't even include me in the vote. She told me as she had one foot in the other direction, ready to bolt. G-d forbid I should have a different fucking opinion. She can kiss my ass if she thinks I'm buying cake for people to eat just to get a happy birthday sung to me. And I'll be damned if I do anything for that cow that decided to bitch about the birthday celebrations.

Odessa: So... Russian roulette question time
Jake: ?
Odessa: I looked at my calendar and its PMS time for Mila and myself
Jake: oh Jesus
Odessa: She's a raging bitch
Odessa: Should I remind her?
Jake: In the most subtle way possible, lest you both rush at each other and suddenly I look out the window and see a fucking mushroom cloud hanging over your office area

Yeah, so this week should be interesting. I'm guessing we'll be found in her office, me with my eyes gouged out and her with a broken neck, by the end of the week. Having the same cycle is a bitch when it's your boss. Add to the fact that she can be a royal bitch at ANY time of the month and you've got a one way pass to the unemployment line. Or the police station. Which ever.

Every day I go to break and lunch around the same time. It's rare I'm off by more than ten minutes. Every day I have someone call or come by with work related crap and they always say the same thing: "I know you're at lunch but..." There are a *few* times they pull the "Oh, you're at lunch? Anyway..." Either way I don't get to just kick back and rest in peace. Yes, I *can* go to the second floor and sit in a room that is filled with people I don't know and twittle my thumbs... or I can volley annoying calls and sit at my desk and blog. You do the math.

Today I get two calls from coworkers, one coworker that comes over and leaves when she sees my LUNCH sign up and finally a call from my boss. She starts to tell me about a problem, then attempts to rush me off of the phone by saying 'Anyway, you're at lunch we'll deal with this afterwards'. Oh sure... like that's going to sit well. Don't throw an issue partly in my lap, then snag it away and hold it over my head so I have to think about it for the rest of the hour. I FINALLY cut her off and just kept saying, "Just tell me, tell me, TELL ME." It ended up being something that the other coworker was bitching about... and it WASN'T my problem. I hate when people blame the software when it's a user issue. The report ISN'T wrong... The person running it incorrectly is. *grumbles* I even blurted out, 'It's a USER error" while said user was in the room. I didn't make any friends today, that's for sure. Fuck em if they can't do their job. Is it five yet?

Oh G-d! The mentality of my workplace just dropped below a two year old. We have two coworkers being pissy with each other and I'm the one that has to deal with it. One coughs so the other bitches. The coughing chick retaliates by bitching about the lazy one always being away from her desk. The latest installment of As the Playground Turns was this morning. We get an email from the lazy one bitching about the coughing one not doing all her work fast enough. I kid you not. Her cryptic email made my eye twitch. She spent the whole day monitoring this other person's workload... but didn't do shit to help out. My friend/coworker, who was also CC'd on the latest bitch mail, rolled her eyes and shot back asking the lazy one to clarify what her email was actually for. While part of me wants to block any bitch content from my Inbox I am curious to see how she'll spin this one. "Oh, I was just letting you know...' isn't going to fly. *grabs popcorn*.

I'm one of those people that likes celebrating things ON the day they happened. It just seems silly to put something off like it's a trip to the dentist. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc... If you couldn't put off HAVING the baby on that day, then why should you retroactively put off celebrating. Wishing me a happy birthday three days prior so you won't forget is just sad. It's like you're saying, 'I can't be arsed to remind myself to remember an important date to you, so just be happy I remembered it at all'. Gee... thanks. February 14th is coming up and I was hoping to have the usual romantic dinner at home. I find out today that I'm being dragged into some meeting that is supposed to go until 5:30pm, but has some people who will talk until 7pm... easy. 'Just celebrate it on the weekend'. Riiiight. Just because YOUR personal life is devoid of any romance and love doesn't mean mine has to be. So yeah, this year's Hallmark sponsered holiday is being delayed. I had BETTER be let go early the next day. Damn it!

I'm feeling quite crappy today. I tried to go into work, even though I was light headed and dizzy. After a few hours the feeling got worse and I had to deal with telling my boss I needed to go home. Her first response was VERY abrupt, then followed it by an, 'I hope you feel better.' Yeah, I'll bet you do... with all those reports you've had me put aside and all... *grumbles* Right now I'm feeling icky. I asked my doctor for advice and he told me to take some Tylonal, cold meds and cuddle with a Teddy bear. I love my doc... really I do.

A stool pigeon. A rat. A.. a... spyish person. My Boss finally noticed that one of my coworkers has been taking advantage of the VERY cushy job that she's been given. This is the same person that she was talking about promoting because of her excellent work. To be honest the girl CAN hustle and get things done. The problem is that it's only when she wants to. Last week my boss freaked out about the long holiday and started telling everyone to help her out and me to take messages. I balked. Why be backlogged with patient calls when two people could clear the fax out? She scoffed. She rolled her eyes. She... mocked me. WTF. Then she did her sarcastic 'FINE' (which I can do soooo much better) and told me to do it. I cleared that sucker out with time to spare. She looked at the work and conceded. I wasn't happy with that. I made her admit that I was right and that she was wrong. To my surprise she actually did. Since then she's been on a mission to make sure my coworker either stepped up or stepped aside. As frustrated as I am with the predicament I am pissed off that the coworker put me in this situation. She knows she's being watched. She KNOWS she can work harder. She KNOWS our boss can and does listen in on conversations. Yet she continues to call family and friends throughout the day and not do the work she's supposed to.

This morning she was given a relatively simple task. Clear out the inbox by 9am (before most offices open). At 9am none of them were cleared and I walked by to see her on the phone with her bank. I wanted to smack her upside the head. She was being offered a chance to be reclassified, get a raise and move up... and it's for the easiest job ever! Yet all she can do is fuck around because someone isn't sitting next to her and breathing down her throat. You know... if they're going to add 'babysitter' to my list of duties I want a fucking raise.

My boss has been pushing for me to finish three major reports, one of which I have to totally redo and haven't the faintest idea on how I'm going to do it with all the info requested. We've been short people every day and I've already told her I haven't touched these reports. So what does she do? She dumps some bullshit class on me that we don't even have the manpower to take care of. Now I have to talk to a bunch of people who don't even qualify to be in the class but still want to ask a gazillion questions about it. Personally I want to pull an elitist attitude and thumb my nose at them as I hang up the phone... but my customer service karma is already lacking. The class is a total disaster to begin with. Nothing was in writing as far as what to ask, what to say, etc... I loathe when people tell me to 'just wing it'. Oh sure, throw me to the sharks and snicker as I go down fighting. Our office has grown so much, yet my boss still thinks she has to appease every schmuck that walks in asking for help. I just don't get it...

I cannot believe the stupid, ornery and stubborn people that call our service. A man called trying to make an appointment to see his doctor. Never mind that it was an annual visit so you'd think he'd have the number by now. His authorization lists our number (which is a 800 number) so guess which one he goes for. I ask the usual questions when speaking to a new patient and he gets annoyed. REALLY annoyed. I ask the next round of current patient questions and he rudely informs me he's just trying to make an appointment. FINE. I inform him that he simply needs to call... wait for it... HIS DOCTOR'S OFFICE and he gets snappy.

Rude ole bastard: "YOUR number is on the authorization.
Me: Unfortunately It is incorrect. You need to call your doctor's office.
Rude ole bastard: Well why can't you make my appointment?
Me: We don't make appointments.
Rude ole bastard: Your message doesn't say that.
Me: ... No, it doesn't. It DOES say what we do do.
Rude ole bastard: How will people know if you don't list it.
Me: Here's a great rule of thumb. If you hear a message and it DOESN'T say what you're trying to do...
Rude ole bastard: Yeah?
Me: Assume they DON'T do it.

TFGIFF

Work drama can be humorous. I find the petty stuff the funniest. Every day I run a dozen reports to put together a daily report of how we did the day before. It shows how many calls we answered, how many referrals we did, etc... It's supposed to be there as a sort of personal gage. Some of the coworkers use it as a weapon. It doesn't matter that each person also has other tasks which impact on calls, etc... Instead of using it to help themselves they use it to point out the problems of other people. Sibling rivalry exists everywhere. I have one coworker who watches our phone call display with a vengeance and calls me the minute she thinks she's getting the wrong amount of calls. Annoying? Yes. But at least she's keeping track. The pettiness REALLY gets stupid when they start pointing out minute details (I was on hold less time then them) without acknowledging the obvious (they were ALSO off the phones more). I *could* get snarky and point the ironies out... but I'm just not that interested in running twenty more reports to prove that this person does as much work as everyone else based on all their job duties. Instead I smile, give a surprised look and then go back to my job and thank goodness I don't have to work closer.

Over and over and over. That's the theme song for my job duties. I repeat the same instructions, same numbers and ask the same questions. I'm actually surprised when someone answers me on the first round. I hate getting to the 'like I said...' part of the conversation. I sound snarky. To be honest, I am a tad snarky at that point. It's as if the person is testing me to see if I'll waiver from the response if they ask it enough times, even slightly altering HOW they ask it. My favorite is when I ask if they got a phone call from us. It's a standard question. A yes and no answer. Do not pass go UNTIL you answer. Every fucking time it's the same response... by 'same' I mean 'anything but what is needed'. I get the 'my doctor said I should call' or 'I got this auth in the mail'. It's as if I talk like the adults in all the Charlie Brown episodes. They hear sounds, but it's nothing to give any thought to. Meanwhile I'm having to repeat myself over and over, each time trying to figure out a way to trick them into answering the damn question. You'd think someone so worried about their health would actually listen to what was being said. But noooooo, they'd rather play 'lets see how many times I can ask the same question before they actually answer it'. Customer service... either you hate it or you're insane.

Some weeks are bad and some are really bad. Then there's this week. If I had to rate it on a scale of pain (one being an ache and ten being amputation and disembowelment by psycho killer) I'd have to rate it a 6.5. Seriously... losing a limb by Michael Myers isn't that far behind what this week has done. I've had patients from hell, incarcerated patients whose cases needed to be hand carried (with no less than 15 calls a day) and coworkers who found any and every opportunity to weasel out of their responsibilities with a simple 'I didn't know'.

Last night I even had a guy in a moving truck stalking me... for about eight miles. Everywhere I went he veered into my lane to follow. At first I thought he was just not paying attention. Then just an asshole. By the time I pulled into the grocery store parking lot I realized that he was following me. I parked and called Jake to let him know and the guy circled the huge lot... twice. There were plenty of spaces to park too. Then he seemed to disappear, but not before I called Jake again to tell him to hurry up. As we pulled out of the lot I spotted him, sitting in the van across the street, blocking traffic. He pulled out to follow but got stuck at the light. Thank goodness for slow people. Finally there was a death of a coworker's mother. I had to sit there while my boss tried to marginalize the issue. "Well, she knew it was coming". As if losing a parent to cancer VS a car accident is any less painful. Now I'm sitting here and begging for five o'clock to come so I can fly out of here and just vegetate with Cat and Mark while praying that this weekend takes forever to end.

When "life" equals "job" and "rain" equals "tears" it pretty much sums up my day. It started off hectic, dealing with patients complaining about the mail being slow (as if I had anything to do with it) and problem patients who don't seem to be going away. After dealing with all that crap I call my boss to ask a simple question.. what day a patient was being scheduled for. I couldn't find the actual date anywhere in my notes and wanted to make sure of the date before I started calling around. apparently I didn't ask correctly and she went off. Not only did she start berating me for asking her but made me feel like a complete idiot and incompetent. Her tone was as if she was talking to a five year old and she felt she had to rehash the whole fucking ordeal. G-d forbid she should just tell me the answer to my question. I went into defensive mode and it was a mess. She continued her idiot-tone when she arrived at work and anything I asked was treated as if I didn't do my job. so I went off. I REALLY went off. It was a mess. Finally I went into her office and we had a looooong talk. I gave in to some points and stood my ground on others. Give and take.. it's what a relationships about, right? In the end I think I shared a tad too much (I told her about people who ask how I can deal with her) and wasn't happy about the leaking tears bit (I'm stronger than that, damn it!) and worked it out. Unfortunately I made her teary eyed about the people making comments thing, and that was not my intention. She made hints that I wasn't happy with my job and should move on and I threw back that she needed to be a tad more tactful when talking to me. I was happy with how the conversation ended, even though I would have liked to have NOT mentioned the peoples' comments. Part of me felt she needed to know how others viewed her (she tends to think everyone loves her) and part of me wanted to shut the hell up and be done with it.

My boss has gotten so much better over the years. No matter what she's still the best one I've had. People look at her as if she's the devil and I just laugh. I worked ten and a half years in the Operating Room. Those women would rip your throat out and chew on it while gossiping about how you looked as said throat was being removed. Any back talk was met with vile threats and they'd write you up just to pass the time. I'm sure there are better. I'd kill to have some of the bosses that work around us. Then again, the productivity level is pretty low compared to us and I'd probably go nuts trying to get them to do more. Work... it's what you do not what you try to get out of.

Bonus misery of the day: Creepy IT Chick just let out a horrendous fart that made people down the hall look. Dude... no class.

...make me sick. Friday was filled with weird calls and people who just didn't want to pay the toll call and make an appointment. The first cheap person calls on the physician line (a line just for doctors trying to get patients into the hospital and starts off by announcing that her husband 'is a doctor'. She then starts babbling about some appointment and I cut her off (at the knees). "Maam... Are you calling from a doctor's office, or are you calling as a consumer? She tries to ignore my question and I repeat myself... louder. She then says, "Oh all right then, get me to extension... " and proceeds to read off some clinic number. I kick that cow to the curb and tell her she needs to dial it herself. BAM! One down, a gazillion more to go. The next cheap person is a nasty old biddy who has been terrorizing our area for some time (unbeknownst to me). Twenty minutes of her nastiness and I was ready to kick this bitch's teeth in. I wasn't about to let her get the best of me. I rode her like the cow she was and she finally gave up... until today. She calls back FOUR times, and each time they transfer her to me (as I instructed them to on Friday). The first time she played dumb. The next time she pushed and then hung up on me. The third time she heard my voice and hung up. The FOURTH time she started screaming at me, then demanded I transfer her to patient complaints so she could lodge a complaint against me. I happily said "You got it!" and dialed their number. Before I transferred her I made sure they knew the whole story. Ironically enough they already knew her name. She held on for quite a while before hanging up, so I gave the woman her name, number and the low down of our area. Bottom line: She isn't to call us again. The next time she calls I'll happily send her to their department so they can give her the news. Stupid cow.

I killed three of my fish. *sigh* I bought all these extra things to help the tank be better and ended up lifting the center piece and basically poisoning the remaining fish that we couldn't catch before setting everything in place. Between that and my fish doing kamakazie flips out of the bucket I had a really sucky end to an otherwise decent weekend. A weekend I REALLY needed too. Between being hammered by calls the three days I was in and the end call being a lazy assed patient who only called because she didn't want to pay the toll to make an appointment I was at my wits end by Friday evening. Luckily my boss was there for the conversation and even sent out an email to tell everyone how well I handled the call. Just remember me when the yearly review comes around... that's all I ask.

Yesterday a coworker offered a tin of cookies to us. I politely declined, saying we were trying to be good. Now I wish I had taken the damn things. She decided to offer them to all of us, begging me to try the 'yummy cookies' her uncle bought her that she couldn't eat for health reasons. I grabbed a couple while faintly hearing another coworker whisper 'don't!' and took them to my desk. I sat down, popped in one of the cookies in my mouth and then... stopped. The taste. It was... oh man. It was like old playdough. I reached for the trashcan and spit it all out, then followed that up with the other cookies I had grabbed. In the background I could hear a faint snickering with an 'I told you so'. That bitch. :p Today I heard the group whispering about what to do with the playdough cookies. They didn't want to hurt our coworkers feelings... but didn't want to spend the next eight hours spitting up nasty treats either. I walked up and showed plan C to them. I took a handful of cookies, smiled, then dropped them into the trashcan. I figure two to three days of feeding the trash should make everyone happy. I is so smart.

Every morning I walk past a coworker on my way to fill up my water bottle who just HAS to start asking me work questions. I haven't even had my coffee and already she's found SOMETHING wrong that she has to bitch about. That SOMETHING is also somehow my responsibility to fix. G-d forbid she actually look for directions or click on something to see if it's fixable. She's one of those helpless people who doesn't know a lick of Excel but uses it anyway... and expects me to correct any errors she manages to create (and she ALWAYS does).

This morning it was about the date. She said she typed January 08 and it went back to January 07. No matter how many times she tried (my guess is two) she couldn't get the date to be 08. Usually (meaning every fucking day) I go over there and magically fix whatever issue she has. This morning I'm tired. I'm cranky. I haven't had my coffee... AND I'm PMSing.

Her: It won't change to 08
Me: Wow... *rolls eyes*
Her: No matter what I do
Me: I never heard of that
Her: I've tried it over and over
Me: Gee... that sucks. Maybe you should just type January since the report is named 2008?
Her: Nevermind (really pissy). I'LL keep trying.

Then she gives me attitude because I don't fly over there to save the day. Again. Besides it NOT being my job to be her secretary, I REALLY didn't appreciate her 'so you do it' attitude. She's been on my nerve all week with the 'Oh woe is me, I work so hard' while I pick up her slack (and the rest of the groups). I don't bitch about it. I don't whine to them. I just do it. So yeah... I got a tad annoyed when she once again expected me to fix something without asking how SHE could do it. Is this day over yet?

Working in a building that has a public parking lot blocks away from the airport SERIOUSLY sucks ass. I had to work the three days between Christmas holiday and New Years holiday. I wouldn't gripe except for the fact that three fourths of UCLA was closed so we got all the 'you mean they're not open' calls after people called said department and got 'We're Closed' messages. Idiots...

Anyway, I woke up late, fucked around and left for work REALLY late. After speeding down the 405 (thank G-d for no traffic) I made it to work on time. Or so I thought. I drove down to my regular parking spot and was told that the second floor was full and to go down to the next level. I followed the few cars down and was told they too were full and to go down to the forth level. Wash rinse repeat. One parking attendant was already voicing the concerns of other drivers to the main office using a walkie talkie. That was a VERY bad sign. I drove down to the fourth floor and was told they too were full. The guy there looked as if he was about to have a nervous breakdown. Apparently they decided just to send people around while trying to figure out what to do. I said fuck this andI drove back up to the to my regular spot and one parking attendant flagged me past a few frantic drivers. He had me park in front of the parking spaces, blocking part of the driveway. I was grateful that he helped me out, but dreaded coming back to find some car had backed into me. At least that was over... or so I thought.

I took the first elevator to the first floor and jumped into the next one for mine. No go. The elevator would not go past the second floor. I did not have my key card with me so a lady swiped hers to try and see if that was the issue. Nope. A group of us started elevator hopping to see which one worked. FINALLY we jumped on the freight elevator and was able to get to our floors. That was 30 minutes of my day I couldn't get back.

Later on I wrote a LONG letter about my ordeal to the management (with my boss' blessing). They wrote back about how terrible it was, how they were going to fix everything and all would be better tomorrow. Meanwhile I don't see anyone coming back from vacation until AFTER the New Years so I don't know how they're going to promise that. Morons...

Demon = food. Lots of it. Everywhere. GAH! I've been munching on finger sandwiches, cookies, baked goods and everything else they've set down for us to eat all day long. It started innocently enough. we had a Tea Party to raise more money for the needy and (semi) needy families we are adopting this year. I say 'semi' because I can't call a family that's Christmas wish is for a Wii and a 19 - 20 inch TV needy. The other family has so many needs. A family of seven (Mom and dad with five children), two children severely retarded with severe medical conditions and one of those is wheelchair bound. They live in a horrible part of town and barely get by. Their requests for a ham on Christmas and a jacket for one of the boys broke my heart. They weren't asking for much... just a few necessities and a nice dinner for the holiday. Back to that later.... First, the food. Oh yes, the evil evil food. home baked goods, little sandwiches made by coworkers and freshly brewed tea was too much for me to handle. I ate. and ate. And... took a little breather, then ate again. Each portion just enough to satisfy my hunger, but more portions than I care to mention. Oy... To make matters worse (for my tummy and waistline) they brought all the extras and placed them RIGHT... BY.... MY... DESK. Kill me now.

Okay, back to why I'm so miffed about this fucking adopt a family shit. The one family truly needed our help in every sense of the word. They needed the kindness that only seems to come around this time of year. Wallets open a little more, people listen a little longer and kindness is spread a little thicker. Except when driving. Those bastards are all getting coal in their stockings. So when one family was unable to be reached our building took on a coworker who was in a bad accident and needed several surgeries. Needless to say, their Christmas wouldn't be great. I have no problem with helping out people in need. But when the wish list consisted of the Wii game console and a 19' - 20' television (for a nine year old) I balked. I grumbled. I raised hell. We went above and beyond the amount that was expected only to be told they were going to buy them the game console. WTF!?! I don't care if the kid wanted it... you don't buy a 'needy' family a $300 - $500 gift. Food, gift certificates yes. But a game console that needs games which run about $30 - $50 each? I don't fucking think so. If you can afford that, you aren't that needy. The coup de grace was finding out that not only did the second floor people buy the kid the Wii AND the television, but instead of joining us and donating the rest of the excess money to other families who weren't adopted they opted to 'take care of their own' and buy other things for their coworker. Merry Fucking Christmas...

Please... go away. Seriously... just GO AWAY. On Friday I had to endure four people trying to shove their samplings of 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' food in my face. Each time I VERY politely declined... even after the last person almost made it a threat. To that I smiled and pleaded 'please just respect my wishes'. This morning a coworker (who's usually REALLY good at these things) came by to tell me the food was ready. I smiled and said no thank you. She slapped her head and said "I totally forgot'. Then added. 'come on... it's FOOD!' I repeated my no thank you and simmered quietly.

If it were Good Friday or Lent and I offered the wrong food they'd decline. If I pushed it they'd insist on declining. If I said 'It's just FOOD' they'd be offended. So why is it so fucking different when I say it? My religion says not to celebrate other religious holidays. I try so hard to follow the rules. It is so fucking hard to just accept that and move on? I don't make comments. I don't thumb my nose to their celebrations. It has nothing to do with me being anti Christmas. Hell, I love to look at the decorations (on other peoples' homes) and love the Christmas music. I always support my coworkers enjoying themselves to the fullest. Apparently sitting and doing my job is too much of a distraction for them to handle. *grumbles*

My weird coworker says this over and over and over again. Thirty three times. Thirty three times for ONE call. By the end I wanted to slit my wrists.... or her throat. She also loves to say "Hi. hi. Hi. Hi. Hiii." My other coworker almost kissed my boss' feet when she was moved across the office (and out of WC's range). She loves to repeat. It's worse then Valley Girl chat. Over and over... and I have about five more hours of trying NOT to strangle her. Anyone want a human parrot?

This year I managed to ditch that annoying Santa fucker at work. While he ho ho ho'd around all the employees that cared I hid in the kitchen with another anti-santa person and bitched about him. We also bitched about fearing Clowns too... which was cool. I felt like he was a kindred spirit until he mentioned fearing antiques. Then it just got weird. Yeah, bah humbug to you too. Now I have all the people around me laughing about how I ditched Santa. A few said they were on the look out to warn me. It's said when it gets to the point where you have to hide just to not get into an altercation with some moron who throws on a costume and suddenly thinks he's all that. Next year I'm going to line up mini GI Joes with Santa targets around my desk.

Every year our building adopts needy families and holds different types of sales and raffles to make money so that they can buy gifts to them. This year we hit the jackpot. Every day has been filled with all sorts of food that I shouldn't be eating but do anyway. 'Hey, it's for a good cause' has become our floor's official logo. Each department has it's own bake sale, luncheon or snack time treat and everyone else is happy to fork over the three to six bucks and munch on someone else's cooking. I swear I'm going to go into a cookie coma if they keep this up. *looks at fresh salad* Riiiight.

Gee... Christmas is early this year. My boss, fresh from our fight yesterday has decided to avoid me like the plague today. Either that or she's giving me the silent treatment. It's a win win situation. Mind you, I literally sit right in front of her office. I turn my head and there she is. She had a meeting with a few of the workers and had them ask me a question rather than her call me on the intercom. She's emailed me five times rather than call me, meet with me or just intercom me. It's silly, childish and a cross over between a good day and an annoying day. Good, because it's less that I have to deal with. Annoying, because we're both adults and she's acting like a two year old.

Anyone want a boss? More than slightly jaded, unpredictable and horrible memory. Prone to snippy remarks and the blame game. Price: FREE.

I walked into the refrigerator I call my cubicle and managed to crack a smile without cracking my face. The temp is in the low 60s now (was in the fifties) and there's NO heat coming out of the vents. Needless to say no one was in a great mood. My boss caught an issue that we've had with the report for OVER a year and she made the decision to keep before. It seems that the coldness cracked her skull and she NOW decided that it's something to fix. One problem: There's no easy fix outside of not counting it. Cue the drama. I get to try and explain to her the issue and get attitude back. I toss it at her and we're on the road to a bitch-fest. She decides that MY description isn't good enough and pulls the nurse in. After making me explain to the nurse the issue she starts throwing random decisions out, none of which are easy and ALL of which she stopped doing before because of the errors. Then she tells me she doesn't like my tone. MY tone. She's being a total bitch and basically saying I'm not good enough to explain a simple issue... and I have the attitude problem. Yeah, so I stormed out of the office and haven't said shit to her. I spent a few minutes on the phone with Jake, trying not to cry (and failing). This is going to be SUCH a shitty day.

Every time I see this one woman at work she asks me how much weight I've lost. At first it made me feel good to tell someone. After a while it got... annoying. I don't even talk to this woman outside of 'hello, how are you?' and now I add 'even more!' or 'not weighing myself'. Still... she still asks. Personally I think it's kind of rude, but it's my fault for answering her original question. it's gotten to the point to where I just walk by and don't make eye contact. I don't WANT to share how much I've lost. I don't WANT to bring a scale in to satisfy her nosy desire to watch my butt shrink. Isn't there some sort of human etiquette on what you should and should NOT ask total strangers? I think I buy her a book on How Not to be Rude* for the holiday. That or just tell her to fuck off. Hmmm.... The latter IS cheaper.

*not an actual book that I know of. Just being a sarcastic shit because it's Friday and I'm on my second cup of coffee. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

...the young caucasion girl. That's the first thing a woman who works at UCLA snapped at one of the nurses. It was also the start of a thirty minute tyrade that left two woman (both UBER nice) shaking and me steaming mad. The reason for her flipping out? A woman who called us excessively when she didn't get any call backs was also calling this bitch. So my coworker called to check if she got the paperwork. When she never got a callback my coworker called two more times to see if everything was okay, etc... So yeah... it's over this woman feeling like we're trying to make her DO HER JOB.

The next day when I learned of it I went directly to our boss' office and told her of the incident. It took me forty minutes to convince the woman who got the brunt of the verbal abuse to agree to make a complaint. By the way, she's not caucasion and a few years shy of forty. Luckily the employee's boss is on good terms with us and VERY customer service conscious. We rehashed the event via phone and managed to get quite a few gasps and shocked expressions before it was done. My boss was NOT pleased. I even used my 'we're not working in a pencil factory ya know... we're working with patients and need to be more considerate' lecture. Sure... it was preaching to the choir, but it felt good to add it.

I'm always amazed at how nasty people can be. Especially those who will tear anyone apart if they think the person is too nice to stand up for themself. Throughout the tirade this woman whined about being the only one as if she were at the helm of the Titanic and narrowly missing icebergs daily. I wish I could tell her that the person she screamed at is dealing with a mother dying of cancer. A grandfather dying of old age. A grandmother walking the halls with Alzheimers. Two jobs to try and support them all... and STILL manages to smile and be pleasant. I DID tell the manager that later on. Luckily she knows her and is sympathetic to the situation. What happens remains to be seen. Bottom line: The cow needs to be slapped. *sigh*

The drama that is my cubicle neighbor happened to get into the elevator at the same time as me today. After the initial greetings we moved on to the weekend. I kept my answer short (it was nice) while she went on about working for extra money, trying to keep the house, telling her husband he needs to step up and do some work while watching the kids, etc... She added 'You know how it is'. I wanted so bad to say, 'Actually, I don't'. Don't get me wrong, I think everyone's gone through the phase where they spent money like there was no tomorrow and then flipped out after getting the bills. I'm sure most people fought their way out of debt that they should have kept in control. Hell... I went to the Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS) after spending when I shouldn't have and putting rent/tires/oil changes/etc... on my credit card. I cut up those cards and slowly paid off every dime. In the end it felt liberating. I was in my early twenties... the age of discovering reason. This woman, on the other hand, is in her thirties with children to take care of. Three to be exact. Three kids and a husband who doesn't want to help with the kids, can't seem to keep a job and generally causes that woman grief. Grief that she talks about daily. Hourly. To anyone and everyone within earshot.

I'd love to give this woman advice. It would be so easy for me to just say 'dump his ass'. Easy for me because I wouldn't have to deal with children. I wouldn't have to deal with lawyers. When Jake and I were going through tough times I sat down and looked at our home and made a mental tally of his VS mine. The hardest part would be the cats. Hard for him, that is... because they stay with me. :p

Meanwhile the woman who sits by me is stuck in a situation that there's no easy answer for. So instead of answering I give her a consoling look and slight smile... as to say 'I understand'. What I'm *really* saying is 'Dear G-d... are we at our floor yet?'.

My boss, in a moment of kindness, decided to give me four hours work time for the time I came in to finish her report on Thursday (and the hours I spent retouching another report on Friday) while sick. The problem? My sick time kicks in after using two days of vacation time. Because she marked me as being there it reset the time back to vacation. Considering I was also taking three days vacation the next week it made me short in time. Also... she's on vacation and not able to be reached easily. It's a great thing until you need her. Now I have to have her sign some error sheet to make it all sick time so I can finalize my payroll sheet that's due at the end of this week. Oy. She bitches about me not remembering things and then totally forgets that I told her NOT to mark me there. *sigh* Hopefully she'll get it fixed in time. Bonus points for giving me four hours working...

I'm so sick of feeling... sick. My boss called yesterday to find out if I was going to be there to finish the big report. Not once did she even ask how I felt. You gotta love the empathy. Actually she did ask if I was getting better. But it was more a demand than anything. "Are you getting better? Or do I need to make other arrangements to get this report done?"

If only life were like video games. In games you just run around and pick up health points to get better. On the verge of death? Here, take this box with the red cross on it. ZING! Much better... Oh? Still not ready for battle? Here's another health pack for good measure. That big bad guy got you in that 'not so fresh' mood? Kill him and take his life points. ZING! Now don't you feel much better? I am sooo not going to be safe to drive near on the freeway this morning...

I just love how people expect us to find a way for them to get lower cost healthcare. We're NOT a community facility. Tell that to a patient (politely of course) and they flip out. Suddenly we money hungry people and the reason they're going to die. This old biddy calls and says she has a paper that says to bring the insurance card... but she doesn't have insurance or the ability to pay. Sure enough... she called before to be pre-registered and got the standard form letter we send out. I explained to her what it meant and that while she is registered it is up to her to work out how she is going to pay. She tries volleying it back to me with her life story, which I cut short. I suggest Community Medical Centers which DO have different programs available and she acts like I sliced a child in half and started chowing down. I agree that they aren't the best places to go... but it's better that NOTHING. Why do people assume that once you've signed up for an ID it's up to the business to take care of you? That's like me hopping into their car and expecting them to drive me around. Move it, grandma! I need to be in New York by next week.

I just started creating a new hood (town) for my Sims to play in. If all goes well I'll be playing Zombie Apocolypse soon. Oh yes... Pictures of brain eating Zombies are dancing through my head. They even have a gun to cut them down with. I am still looking to create a bad-ass Sim that will fight them. It's like my own mini movie. *grins* Yeppers, I'm a tad sick in the head. Most people play Sims for the cutsie family oriented fun. I play for maximum adult interractions and body count.

So far today has been good. Even with two people calling in sick it hasn't chipped away my good mood. The huge reports are due, the issues are piling and all I can do is look behind me at my boss' closed door and smile. She's off enjoying her family and I'm enjoying her enjoying her family. Plus... since we're on the same cycle it's nice to miss a month of PMS banter.

My boss *finally* got the approval for her vacation time. That means for the next six days she'll be hanging out with family and having fun. Meanwhile I'll be fucking around at work and having fun. Lately we've been getting along great, which is a really nice change. This vacation is just what the doctor ordered. Plus, her whole ordeal with having to wait until the last minute to know about her vacation helps us in the long run. She'll be more mindful when approving ours now that she knows what a strain it is to make tentative plans. Meanwhile... I am just sooo fucking happy that this weekend is the end of daylight savings. One more hour of sleep, baby!

That's what I've been saying since the one coworker started working on our fax server. She keeps kicking back records that have everything and I have be the one to look like an ass when they call to find out what's going on. I swear I'm going to start telling them she's an alcoholic just for the pity defense. Of course... it's funnier if they can see my hand movements when I tell them. Now watch... she's sleeping with Jack Daniels and I didn't even know it. :p

The Creepy IT Chick has a few more nails in her coffin. One of which is complementary of my boss. She talks loud. And cusses. And gossips. And bitches. And... she's annoying. So after a round of 'lets bitch about the boss in a job that I'm not even officially hired in' my boss had had enough. She slammed her door (not the first time) and typed out an email to her boss, politely asking for someone talk talk to her about her tone and wording. She actually had a good point. There's nothing worse than talking with a patient who's loved one is dying and trying to drown out profanities and negative comments of the person next to you. CITC admitted her volume level was high and promised to keep it down. That last for a total of three days. Monday she was back to her old self with the Creepy IT guy that hangs around her and their boss came by. She asked them how long they had been there and if she remembered that all lengthy conversations were not to be held at her desk. With that the guy skittered away and CITC was left to simmer at her desk. I could bake an egg on her forehead. Oy.

I really don't feel *that* bad for her. She's bitched about this job since I first met her. Everyone who walked by her desk would have to listen to snarky comments about her boss and whoever else she worked with that wasn't around. I felt like I was in junior high again and happened upon one of the mean girl spots. You know... the corners that all the bitchy girls hung around, cat calling to everyone else. The minute one of the teachers walked by they went into innocent mode. The biggest difference is... this chick is in her 50s/60s. It's no wonder she can't find a permanent position. Snarky ISN'T sexy. :p

I've come to ackowledge Monday through Friday as the time between the weekends. I don't know if it's the impending holiday time off or just that I am sick of this job. Most likely it's a combination of the two. Welcome to the world of pseudo careers and slacker jobs. I've lived my life wanting to work enough to enjoy life. A little money in the bank and enough to buy what I need is really all I wanted. Slowly what I wanted over took what my job paid and now I'm just another shmuck in a dead end job trying to save for things I really can't afford.

I dream of owning a home, although the ones I could afford I wouldn't want to live in. I dream of matching furniture.. again the ones I can afford I don't want to get. About the only thing I've managed to secure is a nice car that has payments I can live with and still order out.

I love when people throw the 'but you have two paychecks coming in' line at me. Two people living together also mean bigger bills. I'm sure we could save more if we (meaning Jake) were more careful with our (meaning his) money. But I'm not his mom and refuse to be the typical nagging girlfriend. He knows what he owes and what he needs to save for. If he doesn't then the wrath is on him. :p

One of my close friends who retired has come back to work as a temp to help us out. I love her to death... but she drives me batty at work. She always asks a million questions, seems to be a magnet for any computer issues (like I'm one to talk) and expects me to drop everything to fix her problem. Thursday morning I was not in a good mood and she was waiting for me when I arrived. I didn't even have time to flick my computer on before she was asking me to fix her latest issue. For some reason Microsoft Outlook just loves to freeze on her. Every day. Multiple times. The first five days I was patient. Now I'm ready to revoke her computer privileges. I feel bad because I adore her to death. I just wish I could adore her *outside* of work. At this rate I'm going to kill her before her assignment is over. Oy...

It's 12:20pm on a Friday and all I can think about is getting the hell out of here. I'm leaving at 1:30pm to go get my very first mammogram (details on Monday... you have been warned). At least I'll have the rest of the day off to recuperate from the apparent pain you go through. I asked my boss what to expect. "It hurts" and "Just remember not to plan it around your menstrual cycle when your breasts are sensitive" were her two comments. Considering I'm on my cycle (TMPI... deal with it) I'm basically fucked. It's pretty sad when having your breasts smashed is more appealing than doing some work.

Technology is a great thing... if you have the basic understanding of the process and/or learning capabilities. We have a few people at work who view anything new as 'too hard' or 'too confusing' and manage to fuck up even the simplest of tasks. Take this one guy for instance. He shares our fax server and has managed to fuck it up no less than three times. A simple task such as sending a fax becomes a huge ordeal when he has to type in the fax number on a computer instead of pushing the buttons on a fax machine. He's also managed to use up all the server space uploading personal photos. Apparently he didn't think using it as his personal photo album was a big deal.

Then there's this twitty girl who thinks the IT guy is her personal tech support. She's driving him crazy over a personal issue while I'm driving him crazy about a work one. There was a time that I thought tech support was a decent job to look into. Now I see the darker side. The darker, dumber side. I'd be fired within a week for slapping people upside the head.

My boss has a semi strict rule about vacations. Only one person off at a time. Her reasoning is that whenever someone takes off someone else is ALWAYS calling in sick and we suffer statistic wise. As much as I wan't to gripe about it, she's got a point. With eleven people to spread the time on (most of which are ALWAYS asking for time off) it can be a bitch to take off a day. Now that my friend is going on Medical Leave to have a total knee replacement it's going to be next to impossible to get a mental health day for the next couple of months. Right now I'm needing one so bad I'm almost calling it an inpatient mental health day.

The worst part about the time off is that I am the one who gets stuck backing up the slow ones. That means even though my job description is completely different I am back up for everyone. Basically, I'm fucked. Right now I'm quietly looking through the dates to just ask for a three day weekend. One extra day won't do a lot... but it's better then suffering until Thanksgiving.

/ whinefest

My workplace has just gotten stupid. I don't know if it's because the staff is all female or we just got unlucky with the personality types. I vote for the female issue. Most women I've known are prone to gossiping. Add a bully (or two) into the mix and you've got a recipe for headaches galore. What's worse is that all the women in my office are in their 40s and 50s. You'd think they'd grow out of this playground behavior. Instead, they seem to have almost mastered it.

"Coworker A (CA)" is a bit slow in her production. What she lacks in speed she makes up for in knowledge. "Coworker B (CB)" is fast and on the ball when it comes to her job. My boss made her lead because of that. Her problem? She can't just do her job. She's either on the phone with family members or they come by her desk to chat. This is all day long, every day. Then there's the problem employee, "Coworker C (CC)", that I bitch about from time to time. She is constantly over at the busy body's desk, gossiping. CB and CC get together and gang up on CA. The last few weeks has been beyond ridiculous... so I went to my boss. She half listened, and now has my friend trying to intervene. Meanwhile I have to sit there and listen to all the childishness while they take turns bickering about each other. I need a vacation... BIG TIME.

Last Thursday I sent our monthly report to the Creepy IT Chick so that she could upload it to her database. I hear her whine 'Thanks a lot, Odessa. Unfortunately I can't get to our database'. I respond with my usual 'No problem', because it isn't... it's hers. Tuesday I shot off an email to her (and CC'd my boss) asking the database was back up so she could give us the quarterly report. She shouts over the cubicle, 'What do you mean? The database hasn't been down.' Oh yeah, it's on now bitch! I stomp over there and remind her of the conversation we had last week (verbally, of course) and she says she didn't mean our database. Riiight. So I asked why she would even mention it in the same sentence as doing my work if it had nothing to do with us. Then she starts twisting things around before trying to blame it on the other guys, saying she couldn't get to the program. So she *couldn't* run the report, but could get to the database. Specifics I could care less about if the bottom line was she couldn't run our reports. Seriously, I could give a rats ass about what exactly the issue was... My boss has been chomping at the bit to break away from their section and this is just one more bite.

Or something like that. Lately I've been questioning my choice of careers. By 'career' I mean job. And by 'job' I mean miserable place that pays me to be miserable there. Yeah, so anyway... I've been wanting to change my career. This would require actually going back to school, which terrifies me. I haven't studied, taken a test (outside of the usual 'Which Firefly Character Are You' type quizzes) or even read a book in a long time. The idea of actually being expected to do homework makes my stomach churn. I used to love school. I also used to love Twinkies...

The career course I took years ago gave me three optimum fields: Teaching, Beautician or Forrest Ranger. I kid you not. Years later I am still wondering why my career tests placed me in fields with high hats, hair products and drama. It's like I'm not quite good enough for the modeling field. There are so many fields I'd be interested in. So many that require years of school. I'd be retired before I graduated. I think I'd rather slit my wrists (down the block, not across the street) than be one of those old biddies on the tail end of a news broadcast hobbling down the aisle to grasp their diploma with arthritis ridden hands and then throw out my back trying to toss the cap.

Part of the area we're *loosely* connected to department wise decided to email me yesterday and ask if we could do some work for them. Mind you, the person asking is part of a clique that takes 45 minute breaks, 2 hour lunches and meanders back and forth to each others' offices for the other part of the day to chat. In short: she doesn't do dick. With people going on vacation and medical leave our staff is limited. Since my boss is on medical leave I was left with the decision. I asked her to clarify her vague email and stated my boss is not available (she was having dental surgery that day). She sent me a snotty response with the same vague wording and said that certainly someone else could make the decision. Fine... I said no. I also copied our IT guy and suggested he help her set up an email for it. She got snippy, told the IT guy to disregard and said she'd speak to her boss. Fine, you do that you little twit.

I mentioned the email to my boss before I left yesterday. She was in one of her moods and said we should try to help. Before I could get an answer back from the little twit about what exactly she wanted my boss jumped in and said we'd do it. Besides that she didn't delete the section that I asked to NOT forward. I was pissed. Part of it was because they don't do shit and this was a total dump. Why make us do work when the IT guy can simply create an account for them? Because they're stupid, that's why...

This morning was hectic. We had a staff member on vacation, another calling in late and a third going home sick. I was not in the mood to deal with laziness, but whatever. The lazy cow emails my boss back thanking her, and adds that "it shouldn't have been made a big deal". I was furious. I was livid. I flipped. I emailed my boss a bitchy letter and then clicked send, knowing it was bound to piss her off. It was wrong, especially since she is in pain. I immediately felt guilty. Instead of a bitchy response she emailed saying I was too negative and that things are going to change, blah blah blah... Before I could send my email she was on the phone. In pain. I felt about two inches high. I blurted out my feelings about how they are lazy and this was a no brainer and she gave her reasons why we needed to keep on their good side. Before I could give my reasons why we should tell them to fuck off and die (not really good reasons, but it felt good to say) our fire alarm went off. Fuck! I jumped off the phone and hurried down the stairs for the mock fire drill.

I came back to my desk and emailed my boss about the 'big deal' comment, saying that could she at least address that. I hit send and her email popped up... addressing it. At least we're on the same page. She told her that it WAS a big deal when staffing is an issue and that I was rightfully concerned. Take that, bitch! She also added that it would be nice if she planned ahead when she expected to use us and explained that we are doing more work than before. I felt vindicated. I... smiled. HAH! The twit wrote back a lame excuse about just finding out (bullshit) and my boss shot back that this isn't the first time they've had a 'last minute' request. End of fucking story.... *shoots middle finger into air and smiles*

Today was a trying day for my nerves. Besides the regular slew of calls I had a guy completely flip out on me as soon as I said, "How may I help you?" Aparently Help = Scream at. After the first SIX times I said "I am trying to HELP you" you went over the deep edge. I decided to kick it into high gear and just.... sat there. I waited for about thirty seconds (which is an hour in silence time... ask JakeD) before reinterrating that I was trying to HELP him and that the only way I could HELP him was if he stopped yelling. I think each time I said HELP it was like a poke in the chest. Just enough to almost say FUCK YOU without losing my job. Finally the little bastard shut up and I put him on hold while trying to track down (and kill) the person responsible for him being on my line. I found the original coordinator who took care of his case and asked for the background. She said that she left a message 45 minutes ago with his wife that he still needed information. Fine. I picked up the phone and began to repeat what she said. Halfway through my ears crawled into the side of my head and shivered while he screamed, "My WIFE?!?! I don't HAVE a wife". I promptly put him back on hold and looked for something sharp as I asked her who EXACTLY she called. "Oh wait. This is a different patient." I snapped, "Fine, then YOU can tell him that" and transfered the miserable bastard to her. Then I looked for something dull. My kingdom for a spoon....

Oh yes, the PMS stick has hit me especially hard this week. It started with a bitch fest between my boss and I that deteriorated into us saying "FINE" back and forth. I think I won that one, but not before my friend left the office practically stapling her finger to stop from laughing. Not one of my finest hours... Then I came home planning on eating a healthy salad only to find some funky ass brand salad dressing that tasted like oil slick. After that I dialed Jake's cellphone and left a bitch mail while looking for some Chili to cook and went balistic when I couldn't find any. After throwing myself into my chair and bitching about him in the IRC channel I went back to see if there was anything to cook. I stood on a chair and found a lone can of Chili shoved in the back... in a plastic bag. Then there was the cheese. Use before July 16th... Oh yes, I was NOT happy. Luckily for my boss (and myself) she isn't going to be in the office for the rest of the week. JakeD is SOL...

It's freezing at my work! If it's above 68 degrees I'll eat my panties. Try typing with frozen fingers. GAH! I can't believe they expect me to type like this. We went through this last year and had to resort to gloves scarves. You'd think this was the East coast in the winter with all the jackets and blankets draped over people just so they could work. I swear I'm half expecting to see my breath.

Meanwhile all the heifers with hot flashes who bitch about the slightest change in temperature are cheery and I'm freezing my ass off. I'll probably regret this in ten years or so but right now I feel like they should stick a couple of ice cubes up their butts and let me thaw out. The worst part is it's still stuffy in here. No wonder I have yet another sinus infection.

Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.... And I'm not even PMSing... YET. Fear my blog, man...

...meets the laziness of state employees. Yesterday my boss went to a meeting and I was left in charge of making sure the calls were being taken care of. Abandonment rate is a big deal for a phone center, which doesn't mean the employees care. Left and right people were putting themselves on Not Ready, making call outs when three people were in the cue and just not caring. By the end of the day I wanted to rip my hair out and dance on their lazy heads. You'd think they would care that each call is a person in need of medical attention. But they were too busy fucking around and not hustling when the busy time started. I'll bet they'd hustle if each call lost equaled an hour of pay. Fuckers...

The Creepy IT Chick does it again. I ask her why her report is off by ten appointments and she tries the 'oh you know, we're going to be off by some' bullshit. I ask her to show me which ones and she starts a whole line of bullshit about the data I give her, blah blah blah... including that it doesn't have the same information. WTF!?! I ask her to show me and after some extra bullshit she pulls up the report. EVERYTHING is there. She starts in with the discussion MONTHS ago and how we agreed to do this and that... whch was major bullshit. After pointing that out (politely) she realizes its on her part and says she has to figure out what's going on.

Fast forward to our meeting with her boss and mine. After she's called on the carpet for the time it takes her to run the reports (hours turns into minutes) my boss starts asking for control of the reports again. While I appreciate her help, it would seem we lose more than gain with it. I mention the issue and she practically dives in to say it's being fixed. Both bosses miss that exchange and I am left with getting a Macro that doesn't work. The hell with that! I confront my boss (in the bathroom) and tell her what's happening. She goes into a long bitch session that I can only cut in on by flushing (I am so getting a flushing sound for my desk). In the end she wants me to alert her boss so she doesn't expect me to get incorrect data. Lovely...

I hate feeling like a snitch, but this chick is Pro when it comes to bullshitting. Lately she's been in the dog house for not following through with her work (even being suspended for three days) and she's not even a fulltime employee. I just hope to get the Macro before she takes off and I am left with hours of work again. Oy...

I shouldn't have done it. Why get excited about a job that you don't even know about? Yesterday my friend urged me to apply for an MSO position. I don't even know what the hell an MSO does. It's a big jump as far as positions go. Imagine walking up a flight of stairs and trying to step over four steps at a time. Yeppers, It's just like that. The worst part is that I wouldn't even want to be standing on that step in the first place. I've been wanting to move back to campus. Back to Westwood. Being out here is like the step child who lives out of the cellar. We're the afterthought of any UCLA celebration. Too far to go to any conference, too far to even join in on any parties. We get the party favors and stories of what went on, as if that's going to make it alright. A friend even referred to my location as 'the prison'. Sweat shop attitudes and minimal benefits.

This morning I called my friend to get her honest opinion of the position. Together we read the description and my heart sank. Even halfway through I knew I wasn't a good fit. So did she. After talking for a bit I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going anywhere soon. Right now I feel like I've been punched in the gut. What's stupid is that I shouldn't have even started down this path until I read the description. 'You'd be perfect for it' is a line I've heard a thousand times. Perfect for some of it, for the rest... not so much. One thing is for sure, I need to start actively looking. My job isn't horrible by any means. For the most part it's one of the better positions. I've grown so much here. When I started I was content with answering phones and stuffing envelopes. As the duties mounted I fought it the whole way. Suddenly I woke up and they didn't seem so bad. Maybe I grew mentally. One day you put down the dolls and see there is a whole world out there. Now I want something more. The journey continues...

Purple Flowers
Originally uploaded by j00wish

After asking to meet with her I started to relay my encounter with Heifer from the day before. She cut me off, saying she just wants to see if it's taken care of. That sent me into bitch-mode and I snatched the papers off of her desk. She tried to calm me down by explaining that she's got a million things to do and I gave her my "FINE" response that sets the hairs on the back of her neck on end. I hate when she wants to meet, but only so SHE can talk. I finally managed to tell her most of it. Afterwards she calmed down a bit and we managed to stay out of each other's way for the rest of the day. That is, except for the volley of emails that never ended. At one point I tried looking up the sentence for breaking someone's fingers... but figured I'd stick to just deleting them. Thank goodness it's almost the weekend!

That lazy cow. My coworker pissed me off three shades of red. No, FOUR. After running a report I noticed one of the referrals was wrong. I called up my coworker (we'll call her HEIFER) and asked what happened. After doing her usual song and dance she said the doctor on the patient's referral wasn't listed so she picked another doctor's name with the last name of 'Weis....'. Oh yeah, THAT just makes all the sense in the world. It's like referring a patient to a Neurologist who needs a Hysterectomy (not real medical problem of patient). Her response: I just chose by the last name I guess. When I said that means my reports are fucked she backed up saying she's sure she doesn't do it all the time. Then I felt my eyes bulge. Heifer is in her 50s. Mentally... not so much.

I tried to find this doctor in the Medical Group and came up empty. He's NOT our doctor. When I mentioned it to her she tried blaming the nurse who didn't catch it. I told her she was right... but that she was ALSO responsible for making sure we had the right info. She blinked. She scrunched her face. She made a 'bullshit' face. I wanted to rip that face right off, too. Apparently I didn't hide said face ripping feelings because she started to back away. After going over to my friend and bitching up a storm I took a deep breath and went over to Heifer with authorization in hand. "Call Facey and let them know the doctor isn't ours and have them change the name. Then get Medical Records. THEN call the patient and let them know." She started to argue about having to call for medical records and my eyebrows flew off of my forehead... then landed back on in a furrowed position. She snapped her mouth shut and took the paper.

Honest to G-d, these people are lazier than a cat in sunlight. We've got some good workers, but it's the ones that don't want to do ANYTHING other than the minimum required that get my panties in a wad. It's not like we're working in McDonalds for Pete's sake! We help patients. These people depend on us. GAH! I need chocolate.

My weekends are one hundred times better now that we're actually going out and doing things together. So far we've only ventured semi local places, which is fine. We have to save up the time and money to venture furture north. As it is I am trying to slow down my spending and I'm at a battle to the death it seems over that one. I am frustrated that I can't do more and end up buying more than I need to compensate for that. I've been looking into laptops and wireless broadband for our weekends away and we have yet to spend the night anywhere. It'll be six months before my big credit card bill is paid off and I am still trying to pay myself back from the IRS adjustment from hell. I don't know what I'm going to do come next year. Part of me wants to go back to the same guy and the other is too nervous. Was it just a fluke or did he do other things? So far it looks okay. *sigh*

I have been looking around at other job prospects and throwing my name out into conversations. For the most part all I get back is that they'd LOVE to hire me... if I wasn't at such a high level. One possibility might be opening up in August... but I am not holding my breath. Well... maybe a little.

My boss is going on vacation for a week starting this Friday. This means, of course, that she will be making my life hell right up to the second she walks out. Last minute reports, enough work to make me behind for a month and all the little side jobs she can think of. Whenever she goes away she HAS to make sure we are too busy to have any fun. The irony is the minute she walks out all work will be set aside and we will spend the week having fun, doing as little work as possible. Stay tuned for the panick ridden 'oh shit she's coming back and I haven't done a fucking thing' post.

I just love my job. My boss commandeers my coworker so I have to drive alone to some stupid class on a program I'll never use and then ditches me when they get there. I felt like it was Junior High. The worst part is she made us leave an hour and fifteen minutes before the class was to begin on a drive that takes twenty minutes... tops.

Me: I'm here. Where are you?
Boss: We're shopping. Bye. *click*

WTF!?! So I was left sitting in an empty room alone while they were out having fun. At least I got to leave early. Suffice to say you could have fried an egg on my face with the look I gave them when they *finally* arrived.

Passwords suck. REALLY suck. I have no less than four to get my computer programs up, and they change at different intervals. The first time they told me to change my password it was suggested I make it hard to guess. It worked... I couldn't remember it. Then I opted for a slightly easier one. My latest one is a bit longish... which sucks when your computer program locks every five minutes of inactivity.

I've seen a few people post their passwords for all to see. Yeah, that makes sense. My boss actually asked me to write the directions on one of the programs' passwords in our glossary. Riiight. She also asked for us to each give her our password. I politely declined. She got annoyed until the magic word got tossed around. HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act). It's a catch all for nosy people and pushy managers. If only we had a word like that for idiots.

Yesterday a doctor called that REALLY got under my skin. He started off by bitching at me about how our hospital sucks (but not enough to stop referring to) and how he's been out of the loop on several patients he's referred. Those 'several' (meaning two) patients weren't even listed as his. Moron. The one he was calling about he had a right to be annoyed. But... not at me. After bitching at me about things I had nothing to do with he ordered me to send records to him and reluctantly gave me his pager in case there was an issue. I repeated his number and gladly hung up. From there I contacted the physician he supposedly couldn't get a hold of and gave him the pager number. I figured that was the end of Dr. Snitty and went on with my day. A little while later I got an email stating the pager number was not working and the doctor could not reach him. I ended up searching online for this fucker's phone number (you know, the one he didn't want to give me) and located him after about four dozen transfers. The first thing I get is him calling me a liar about what number he gave me (last number was a 5, not an 8). Then he insists I did NOT have him repeat it. Ass. Dr. Snitty goes on to demand that I read back the correct pager number to him. So of course I read it back... slooowly. He says, "I'm not used to my number being read so slowly. Could you read it again to make sure you have it correct?" So of course I read it again... slooooooooooooooower.

I went home that night ranting. I walked in today counting down till I could leave this place and relax. Three hours later I get a message that Dr. Snitty called and wants me to page him at 1:30pm. I walked into "M" 's office and said, "You may be sending me home early today. Because Dr. Snitty is calling back and if it's anything but an apology I'm going to tell him off. I refuse to be treated like that again." She gritted her teeth and told me to bounce the call to our doctor. "We're out of this. You are not involved." That was music to my ears. I called the office and of course our doctor never called Dr. Snitty back yesterday. Oy. I told them to call him after 1:30pm and they responded with, "I just paged him and he hasn't responded yet." I looked at my watch: 1:00PM. You gotta love that UCLA niche for details. I pointed out that he may not reply until after 1:30PM and hung up. Guess who calls me at 1:30? yeppers... Dr. Snitty himself. And he's in rare form. He starts in on me for only sending him 3 of the 4 pages (my fax confirmation says all 4 went through). Then lays into me because they called him too early. After demanding that I fax him a report which isn't there he asks to speak to my supervisor. No problem! I bounce his ass to "M" and simmer.

Later in the day I get a volley of emails about him, after he complains to the higher ups. Suddenly our doctor not calling him back isn't as bad as the fact that he only got three of the four pages... and that the clinic not returning his call turns into ME not doing it. The kicker? He complains to the doctor whose office I am in front of. On the speaker phone. After listening to him twisting the facts "M" calls me on the intercom, and leaves it on speaker phone. I answer and "Mother fucker..." escapes from my lips. She stops, not knowing what to say. I just sat there. No sense in apologizing now. Unfortunately she didn't send me home. She blinked twice then went on to talk to me about another case. Afterwards I emailed her about his comments and she said not to worry. I'm not gonna worry... but it doesn't mean I'm not going to be pissed.

My G-d. The creepy IT chick has been farting... all day. Between taking little sips of air and spraying some old Victoria's Secret body spray I found in the drawer I think I'm going to faint. In other news, my boss sucks and this day majorly blows. :p

Oh yes, I certainly know how to shoot off my mouth. my boss stepped out of the office and my friend was sitting there so I jokingly went to her and said, "Do you know what I got for AA Day?" When she asked what I said, "Insulted." I told her I was told I wasn't a real assistant, then turned and saw my boss standing outside of the door in mid swig of her water bottle. Her eyes got big, then narrowed. I smiled at her and said, "Isn't that right, M?" Inside I was searching for some imaginary rock to crawl under. I'm sure the backlash will be when I least expect it, but whatever. It's not like I wasn't going to bitch at her about it at some point. It's like one of those moments when you slip on something and do a double flip and somehow manage to land on your feet. You do a 'ta da' and hope everyone thinks you meant to do that.

I'm a *fake* assistant. At least, that's what my boss says. After noticing a coworker's desk decorated with streamers and a tiara/wand I asked what the occasion was. "It's Administrative Assistants Day". So of course I had to attempt to rub it in that my boss forgot, only to get a 'she does a lot for her boss. Brings her coffee during meetings, buys presents for her and other people on her behalf. She's a real Administrative Assistant." Ouch! I gave my usual sarcastic "oookay" and walked away. But it left me simmering. Since I am not in the mood for a bitch fest today (of all times NOT to be PMSing) I just wanted to list what I do that is as an an asisistand and beyond the call of duty:

What I do as an Assistant:

1. Schedule her appointments
2. Lie for her when she doesn't want to deal with someone
3. Cover for her when she's late
4. Train and re-train everyone on new systems
5. Be the complaint person for every thing
6. Do everyone elses' job duties while maintaining my own
7. Do reports
8. Be the 'second' in command without any official title
9. Listen to her bitch all fucking day
10. Take the blame for whatever goes wrong, regardless of who did it.

What I do beyond my Job Requirements:

1. Call family members
2. Remind her of birthdays
3. Make appointments for her (personal)
4. Work through breaks/lunches/overtime
5. Work from home when sick/on weekends and vacation days
6. Deal with her moods

So basically I need to bring her a fucking cup of coffee and buy something to be an Assistant. Silly me.

Today is an Administrative Holiday. That means everyone else gets the day off and WE have to work. The only bright side is that my boss is taking today and Monday off for her birthday. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself, but it won't be working. She said we could 'wear jammies and run around' as long as the phones were answered. I swear that woman just hit senility or had a liquid lunch. Either way that means we're going to have our own mini party, eat junk food all day and end up sick by the end of it. My second (or third) childhood all crammed into one day. Now all we need is naptime and for someone to get their bra stolen and thrown in the freezer.

Two floors of hell. Two floors of me fighting the urge to rip the gum out of this woman's mouth and beat her with my coffee mug. Two floors of snapping, popping and chewing like a cow. I thought for sure that I could make it. It was easy as pie. Focus on the "L" and dive when the doors opened. The elevator 'dinged' to alert us of our floor and I yelled out "GAH!" I almost made it. She glared at me, did a final snap and walked out. Oh sure, as if I was the rude one.

When I was a child I snapped my gum in front of my dad. I was six and we were in the middle of Disneyland. I snapped it once and he stopped. "Do that again and you're wearing it on your nose." A few steps farther I snapped it again. "Put it on." I ended up wearing that pink blob of Hubba Bubba on my nose for the rest of the day. When it fell off he made me put it back on. I NEVER snapped my gum again. Maybe I should have forced her to wear it. Staple it in place even. Yeah...

Every Thursday is Purple-Thursday at my work. You have to wear something purple. It was started by one of my coworkers who loves purple and caught on. I love it because no matter how frustrated the day is when I realize I'm wearing purple I know tomorrow will be Friday. Today this will be my purple for the blog.

Wow! That was.... harsh. The creepy IT chick got her ass handed to her yesterday. As annoying as she is this was still a bit much. I can't say she didn't have it coming. Her boss came by to find out how she was doing on a major report that was due in one day. The IT chick's response: "I downloaded a patch from Microsoft's website." The woman blew her top. "What!?!?! That's all you've done in a day and a half!?!?! We pay you 85 THOUSAND dollars a year for super duper support and all you've done is download a patch!?!?!" At that point I grabbed my keys and went for a walk. I don't care if she was watching midget porn, you don't publicly tear someone a new asshole. That's what offices are for. Besides, who wants to hear that a person in management actually uses the term 'super duper'?

Panic on the streets. Panic in the house. Somehow the day after a long weekend seems to be worse than most Mondays. An extra day to sleep in means one less day to do the things you have to. I weigh it out and haven't decided if it's really worth it. Work will be filled with people trying to make appointments that they should have made six months ago and calling us because they can't get through. Suddenly one day off makes everything an emergency. The best part is the calls between 12 noon and 1:30pm. People still don't get that that's the busiest time to call. While it may be their lunchtime it's also everyone else's. What do you do? Call an office (ours) that has nothing to do with the number you are trying to dial and bitch to them. Yeah, this should be fun.

My boss is nuts. Seriously. Not only does she know EXACTLY what kind of relationship I should be having, but what kind of future we are planning. I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when her carpool buddy came by to show her a baby blanket she had knitted. It was pink and frilly, that's my take on it. I had just taken a big gulp of water when my boss blurted out, "This would be perfect for Odessa. She's planning on getting married and they'll be having a baby sometime after that." I choked on the water, spitting it everywhere. "Wha...!?!?!" was all I could get out. She held the blanket up, as if I was going to coo at it. "Leave me out of your baby plans please" was all I could say before cleaning up all the water.

Jake and I are NOT having children, outside of any accident. We're perfectly happy right now and not willing to give up our time. Selfish? Maybe. But at least we're sure of what we want. Too many people pop out children without understand how much of their personal life they are sacrificing. As in all of it... Everything changes when you have a kid. Your time becomes theirs and the money is tight. Right now we're living just within our means, and making plans that will make money tight. Besides... pregnancy scares the hell out of me. I fully admit to being terrified of the process. The things it does to your body and then there's the whole birthing process. *shudders* The only way I'd want to have a baby is if they came out of tubes. Just add semen and watch them grow! Fun for the whole family. Personally I'd still want a sea monkey family.

V-Day at work is always fun. It's like the rose parade... complete with snarkiness. All day there have been flowers delivered to various coworkers, each sizing up the new bouquet with the last. It started off with a HUGE basket filled with over three dozen roses and humongous "I Love You" heart shaped balloons. The women were salivating. Anyone who DIDN'T get flowers got the 'do you want one of mine?' comments. Yeah, like that will make it better. Each year I tell myself (and Jake) that I don't want flowers, and each year I wish I would have said otherwise. Then again, it would be nicer to get flowers on any other day just to feel special. Yes, it's snobby. Yes, I fully admit to wanting to partake in that 'in your face' smugness that comes along with getting something special at work. Next year I'm taking out a loan and buying myself flowers. :p

PS: I wrote this while high on pink, red and white M-&-Ms.

Monday day sucked ass. First my boss asks me to contact a director's assistant to confirm a conference room. After asking several people I tell her I don't know who the assistant is. Her response: "You've met her. Do you remember the Christmas party three or four years ago, when the ex CEO played a harp? She played it with someone who played the violin. The person playing the violin is his assistant." After staring blankly at her for a few moments I said, "I meant in some official capacity. Not at some function I didn't want to be at and didn't pay attention to." We went through a few rounds of did not/did to before she broke down and gave me her fucking name. Then she moves on to asking if the conference room was ready for a meeting I didn't know about. Again with the blank stares. After that she goes into the meeting and someone intercoms me asking if we ordered food. I go and ask her and assumed it was here (my fault) so she comes out. Nope, they just wanted to confirm an order change. She walks back down the hallway muttering, "You guys (meaning me) need to clarify before saying they're here." I yelled out, "Wha...!? You need to CLARIFY that you even ordered the food!" She ignored me and everyone else stared, jaws dropping. I swear to G-d... That woman is going to drive me batshit.

The creepy IT chick who sits next to me has been flirting with this other contracting IT guy for quite some time now. They've had noisy lunches at her desk and he is always popping up throughout the day to 'chat'. And by 'chat' I mean 'cleverly ask questions about the program they are both working on while disguising it as just saying hi'. The other day she decided to up the ante and ask him out to dinner. They are two of the most annoying people here so the thought of anything personal makes my skin crawl. If only they spoke quieter.

Anyway, he politely declined... saying he had to pick up something or another (I really was trying not to listen) and I figured he wasn't interested in her for anything other than information. She's a smart girl, right? She should get the hint. Nope. Soon after I walked around the corner to see her giving him an impromptu neck massage and quickly searched for the White-Out to put onto my eyes and erase that icky visual. It was obvious she was going for the kill when he managed to once again slip away. the next day I was walking down the hall and heard him talking to someone about what to do for the evening. I shrugged it off and went to my desk. He followed behind me and as if on cue his cell phone rang. He immediately starts sweet talking then gets off of the phone. She mentions him making plans without her and he says, "That was my sweetie. She just wanted to know what our plans were for the evening." I could almost hear the IT chick's heart breaking. I gave a sigh of relief thinking it was the end of hourly visits and icky flirtations. Don't get me wrong. I don't wish bad on the quirky chick. I'm sure she'll find another icky guy who will appreciate her and treat her right. I just hope it's not while at work. Ew.

When we first moved over to our new location I commented on one of the guys dressing 'extra nice' on Thursdays. He told me that was the big meeting day and everyone works a little harder and looks a little more business-like for the big wigs. He walked by my desk a little while later and saw me playing a game on it. Heh. He asked why Thursdays didn't affect me the same way. "That's because my boss is in those meetings all day." *smiles*

I've come to realize that age has as much to do with wisdom as beauty does with clean feet. An older coworker of mine decided to let me know the report I created for her wasn't working right. I checked it out and sure enough she changed some of the filters and screwed it up. Not that she'd admit to it. I fixed the report and went over to show her what 'someone' had done. After hemming and hawing about it not being her (the only person who uses that report) She asked what she should do with all the reports that came out wrong. That was the first clue I was going to have a headache. I asked her how long it had been doing this and her response was 'about a month'. I blinked. She let a report go for a month. I explained that she'd have to run them all again and she started in with the 'Oh hell naw. They're going to have to find someo..." and then I put up my hand. I smiled and said, "That's why you should let me know when someone isn't working right away. You waited, right?" She frowned and nodded. "Then you're going to have to redo the reports." With that I walked away, rubbing my temples.

This isn't the first time she's done something like this. She's almost 20 years my senior and acts like a 16 year old on their first job. Everything isn't her problem, isn't her fault and she shouldn't have to clean it up... even if it is. I had my phase of skirting the responsibility. But I was nineteen and learned fast. This woman is almost at retirement age and hasn't gotten a clue. Personally I don't mind chatting with her, although I try to keep everything work related. It's amazing how two minutes of personal conversation can give you months of 'but you're my buddy' attitude. I am still asking myself if I want to venture out into the management field. Right now I only have to deal with some of the bullshit. as a manager I would have a whole crew worth. I want to leave my current position for something closer to home that doesn't involve pre menopausal managers whose personality changes more than a group therapy session for Manic Depressants without their meds. Decisions, decisions...

My head is killing me. I went to work early today expecting a week's worth of work to catch up on. What I DIDN'T expect was for my boss to tell me to put it all aside so we could work on a powerpoint presentation I did for her TWICE before. Apparently they decided to change it again. So we spent the next six and a half hours redoing everything... and I left and hour and a half late. That's without a late break and working through half my lunch. I am sooo going to bed right now.

I swear I'm going to toss the next person who comes to work sick out the fucking window. I can understand minor symptoms, but these people are practically sleeping at their desks with blankets, tea and tissues. If you have a temperature and can't say more than two words without going into a coughing fit then you need to keep your sick ass at home! Meanwhile Jake has been sick all week from one of these people and I am fighting it off myself. So much for a fun filled long weekend. *sigh*

I can't believe they did it AGAIN! This is the third water bottle that went missing at my work. Apparently they like to recycle around here and water bottles are gold. Either that or someone decided to ignore all the obvious trash and just throw away my clearly marked water bottle. So much for being cheap and re-using an old bottled water container. This morning my coworker noticed her bottled water container was missing too.

I wouldn't be so annoyed except they keep taking the bottles. They've even gone into my drawer to take them. My boss told me to make a complaint. Riiight. I mentioned it to the office liaison just so they could pass it on to not throw away peoples' items on their desk. Either that or they could actually clean my desk. That'll make em stop. The good news is they are hiring a new cleaning company that will be starting in January. The bad news is our plastic bottles won't be safe for another week. :p

The weird IT chick that moved next to me decided to have a mini lunch date with the new guy at her desk last week. She bitches about how loud we are anytime someone asks how her new cubicle is. Meanwhile she seems to have no volume control on her yapper. I would have really liked it for her date. She started off bitching about the Democrats and how they'll see how bad it will get, yada yada yada... Then started in on Clinton (of course). She couldn't understand how Democrats love the guy. Then she added, "I mean... Bush never lied... to a grand jury. He spoke the truth. You know, what he believed to be true." I had to fight the urge to jump the cubicle and slap her upside the head. I've never actually heard someone say that. Sure, there are people who don't read the news and only believe what they hear in church... but this was an educated woman. I had to leave my desk.

Yesterday she comes to work sick (one of my pet peeves). Don't bring your germs to work! How sick she was is up for debate though. Her voice went from a complete whisper (Telling her boss she's completely lost her voice) to normal tone (gossip, gossip, gossip with a coworker). All day long... I almost miss the *hocking* dude. Almost.

I survived another year without decking the Santa in the halls. That's a Christmas song, isn't it? Anyway, this year I conveniently had to pee when he made the rounds to our area. I stopped by one of the IT guys and we talked about his behavior last year. The IT guy chimed in, "Let him try doing that to my Muslim ass." Yay for another person who understands! While we were chatting they came up to ask him to pose with Santa with his group. His answer: "Oh hell no." I would love for this country to go Jewish for a year. Or any other non Christian religion. Imagine ONLY celebrating someone else's holidays officially. The food you shop for, the days you take off... all based on their religious beliefs. That's one 'Christmas present' I'd happily accept with baby in a manger wrapping and a Santa card to boot.

We had a meeting to discuss holiday dishes and the subject of Ham came up. I smiled and said nothing while a coworker chimed in, "Isn't that something you don't eat?" I responded that she was correct, Jews don't eat ham. With that my boss blurted out, "Well I don't let something like religion get in the way of eating food." After I found my jaw and re-attached it I simply said, "How nice" and left out the part about hoping she'd feel the same when I converted to Satanism and preformed human sacrifices for lunch. I was highly annoyed to say the least.

My coworkers decided to do the 12 days of Christmas food this year. Each day someone brought some dish for others to munch on. Wednesday was Titos day. Titos Tacos is a well known Mexican food joint that cooks old style food. They line around the block to get some. The girls happened to mention that it was cooked with pork fat and I politely declined to taste. My boss started to fuss then thought better. I guess I had the 'say it and die' look on right. I swear she's going to be my first sacrifice...

Why do people get all bent out of shape when someone chooses not to eat their food? Suddenly I'm a poor sport for not going against my religious beliefs and munching on reheated tacos. I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish. Hello? What part of 'Not the Messiah' do you not understand? I've been called a Scrooge for refusing to put up decorations. Every year I go through the same shit. I never demand they put up Chanukah decorations and change their decorations to generic holiday crap. You want to put up a tree? Go for it. Wreaths and ornaments more your thing? Have at it. I have no problem with people celebrating their religious holidays... Just don't thrust that shit on me. Bah, humbug.

This weekend is our holiday party, which will be held at my boss' house. Oh joy. Oh rapture. She got together with the whole staff (minus me, of course) and agreed upon the day. So what happens? Six people have plans and can't make it. She is a tad annoyed to say the least. Meanwhile the 'come and enjoy' has turned into 'Oh and bring food... Ummm... and some sort of gift.' She gave me the list of people to invite, which I sent out. Now I get a daily 'Did you invite this person?' like I'm going to just start pulling strays off the street to go to her place. I don't even want to go. Why work 40 hours and then have to go and be with coworkers on one of your two days off? Yeah, so Bah Humbug to you too.

I am finally 'almost' over the head cold from hell. Tomorrow is my first day back, which means it will be hell. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Heh. This past week has been a blur, as you can tell by the sporadic posting. Considering this was the first bad cold in a year I guess I'm doing well. Let's just hope my boss remembers that. Oy.

Our office is FREEZING! The weather has been quite chilly out and the winds were strong enough to make the windows vibrate. Since I go from an underground parking lot into a building I didn't think I would need a jacket. WRONG! On Monday I opened the office door and was hit by a wall of cold. I could almost see my breath. After an hour of it getting even colder my boss went to find out what the issue was. Apparently the boiler had broken and those smart guys thought turning on the air conditioning would be a good idea to circulate air. Then the thermostat broke while on. By the end of the day everyone was wearing coats, scarves and gloves. I was jogging in place and begging to leave. Of course thats normal so she ignored me. We finally got an 'official' email telling us what we already knew... and as an added kicker that they wouldn't know if they could fix it until tomorrow. Apparently 'tomorrow' means 'sometime next week' because we had no heat the whole week. By Friday I was trying to type with gloves on. I swear I wanted to spear them with my nipples. I could have, too...

Me: Hello. You left a message with our department. How may I help you?
Twit: Yes, I just made an appointment with one of your doctors.
Me: Okay....
Twit: But I live in Las Vegas Nevada and have no means of transportation.
Me: .... Okay....
Twit: Will you guys pick me up?
Me: *blink* Wha...? Excuse me?
Twit: Well... I made an appointment...
Me: Maam. It is not our responsibility to pick up patients. You have to provide your own transportation.
Twit: Oh. Well... How am I supposed to get there?
Me: *deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath* You'll have to find transportation OUTSIDE of UCLA.
Twit: How
Me: Yellow pages would be my first guess. Good luck.

This was one of the people I had to deal with yesterday. Why on Earth would you schedule an appointment to see a doctor in ANOTHER state without having any means of transportation? The worst part is that she had the audacity to expect UCLA to find a way for her to get there. Hell... if that were the case I'd be scheduling check ups in Hawaii and Europe. How do you say 'cough' in Swedish?

I owe, I owe... so it's back to work I go. My first day back is today. Weeeee! Okay, so I'm not that enthused. I'm trying to be. After six weeks of recuperating from surgery, trying to eat again and finally starting to feel normal I would have loved to enjoy it just a little. This is the second time I've saved up vacation only to use it for surgery. Hopefully this will be the last.

Meanwhile... an eight dollar no heat bikini wax works about as well as it should. And by 'well' I mean 'like crap'. I managed to get sticky wax all over my bikini area, thighs, hands and arms before Jake came to the rescue. I swear it was like I had a seizure. Then I tried to pull the wax off. All it did was pull at my skin and give a 'natural' blush to match my face. Ten minutes later I managed to remove the rest of the wax with baby oil. The best part? Not one hair was removed. At least I know what to do if I need to interrogate someone. "Don't MAKE me get the Nair No Heat Bikini Waxer, man!"

Okay, I am majorly annoyed at this IT chick at work. My Boss somehow met with "C" a while back and she talked my boss into automating our reports. I explained that the data was not clean and I had to do a lot of tweaking. C assured me (in front of the boss) that it would be as easy as pie. I remained HIGHLY skeptical. With B's blessing I removed the extra work we had done and stopped the nurses from doing it.

Let me do a brief explanation. If a patient calls we refer them to Doctor A. Three weeks later we check the hospital system to see if that person made an appointment. If they did we check off an area next to the doctor's name so they can see we gave them that patient. If the patient called up and was told Doctor B could see them sooner and saw them we had no way of showing Doctor B we sent the patient there. Enter the text fields in our report. I added all the doctors names into a field so we could select Doctor B if that happened. The problem? It's really not a reportable field. I'd have to count how many times each doctor got a patient and add it into the first section. Confusing? I thought so. M's idea was to change the computer date back to the referral date and enter a NEW referral with Doctor B in it. That made it a lot easier. C said we didn't have to do this so everyone stopped.

Two months ago C was supposed to have automated everything. She told me she didn't want me to do ANYTHING, just send her the raw data. Ooookay. She got back with me a couple of weeks later with a completely wrong number. We went back and forth, with me trying to explain why each part was going to be hard to do. She sends some data to my boss who asks why the numbers are so wrong. "Well, that's the data Diva sent me!" Then B bitches at me about sending wrong data and I have to explain that she asked for it that way. HIGHLY annoyed and now late I am told I have to hand count over 500 appointments because it's not going to be ready. Same thing last month.

This month my boss asks me to meet with C and find out what's going on. The fact that she's uber creepy aside, I don't trust her. Nonetheless I email her for a meeting. she replies, but then cancels. She reschedules and is a no-show. I start working on the month end again. I also decide to populate another text field to try and make the process easier. That's 1600 doctors I have to go through. I email about this to C and she says not to do anything until we meet. Not wanting to be burned again, I ignore her. The My boss emails her and schedules a meeting. Magically she shows up at my desk the day before to see if there's anything we should talk about beforehand. I show her the new project and she starts bitching about my boss. She said B has to give up some of the data she wants. That it shouldn't matter if we get 51% vs 49%. I told her it does but she's welcome to tell B that in the meeting. She said she'll set some things straight. Riiiight.

The day comes and my boss is in a mood. You know, the 'nothing you do is right' one. We meet and she smiles at C and frowns at me. C is chipper and talking about how close we're getting. Blah blah blah . Nothing about setting her straight even came up. I finally said, "Aren't you going to tell B about having to give up some numbers?" She looks nervous then says, "Oh no! With this new data everything should be fine!" Fucking bitch! We leave and I am highly annoyed.

I asked my boss about one report and she jumped down my throat about not telling her about another report we agreed to and to get C back. She comes back in and they have a pow wow while I'm printing the fucking report. I walk in to them saying, "Oh, it's no problem. Good!" Then B gives me the look like 'I can't believe you had me pull her back'. I wanted to scream. I interjected one thing and then the meeting was over. Right before lunch I tried to tell B some concerns I had about C. She jumps down my throat about not saying it in front of her and starts to lecture me about how I *should* have done this. I yelled, "FINE! Forget it!" and started to stomp out of the office. She tried smoothing it over with one of those, 'It's just that it works better that way' bullshit. I looked at her for a second and snapped, "It's about that time of the month, isn't it?" and she stopped. She responded pissily, "I guess it IS." I walked out of the office bitching, "Yeah, I THOUGHT so..." and she was nicer for the rest of the day.

It's a real bitch to be on the same PMS cycle as your boss....

PS: You know I'm PMSing when one post is longer than the rest of the month combined

I hate when I can't sleep. Everytime I tried to sleep I kept thinking about the reports I had to do. I would close my eyes, try to think of anything else and BAM! Be right back to thinking about work. I finally got up at 4AM and did the damn report. I should have done it last night... 20/20 hindsight, right?

I also did something to my hip that's mildly concerning me. I have some joint pain and no bruising. At first I thought I might have banged my hip on a table, but the pain is a little different. It's deeper and only hurts when I try to cross my legs. The only thing I can think of is when my hip popped while we were... well... Yeah, it popped. This oughta be interesting to explain to the doctor.

A nurse I used to work with in the Operating Room interviewed for the RN position yesterday. That's the second nurse from the OR that I've seen. She's actually in the front running for the job. My boss asked me for my opinion (before she arrived). I said, "She's ditzy. Nice, but ditzy." When she frowned I added, "But this has been ten years. I'm sure she's changed some. I know I have." I don't think I'd mind working with her again. Having history with someone means I know her buttons. *evil grin* I kid. I kid...

I was at work yesterday, working away when the fire alarm went off. Since there wasn't a drill announced I grabbed my purse and looked to my boss. She looked at me. That was it. We have fire drills from time to time so that everyone knows what to do when there really is an emergency. So what happened? Everyone hustled around asking what to do and no one even inched towards the door. After a few minutes of people saying, "Well I'm not going. I have work to do" and "I'm not leaving. I don't smell any smoke" the fire marshall arrived and shook his head. Around that time the temp came running in and opened the kitchen door. The smell that came out of there was horrible. Rotting corpses would have smelled better. Aparently she 'forgot' about her popcorn and left it in for too long. And by 'too long' I mean ten minutes too long. My coworker said it had turned colors she didn't think popcorn could turn. Ew. We spent the rest of the day with that horrid smell. Everytime I went near the kitchen I felt like hurling.

As we were getting ready to leave another coworker peaked in and made another discovery. The woman used OUR microwave, which was now ruined. Everyone got together to purchase it a while back so we'd have something of our own. At least they're going to replace it. I just walked in this morning and the room still reeks. Needless to say the temp is keeping a low profile. I REAL low one.

I don't think I'm ready for management. One of the coworkers went on disability for a month and we had to scramble to find help. After the first temp got a job we got another one to take her place. She was really nice, very laid back and willing to work. Yesterday one coworker mentioned "T" had called her the night before and was coming into work today. To say I was slightly annoyed would be an understatement. Not only did she NOT let me know so I could give the temp some warning but she didn't ask what she needed to do before returning to work. All employees have to go to our employee health to be cleared. I called the boss and she was more annoyed, getting "T"'s cell number to try and catch her. Too late. She arrives and I'm stuck with having to let her know she has to turn right around and drive to campus and then let the temp know it's her last day. Very uncool.

After arguing with "T" over protocol she went to call HR and find out if I was telling the truth. Yeah, that made me feel competent. Then I approached the temp. Understandably she was let down. I felt so bad. I guess it showed because after 30 minutes of checking on her she finally patted me on the back and said, "It's okay. Don't worry about me. This is my job." I felt like a shmuck. Here I am telling someone their services are no longer needed and it ends up them consoling me for having to do it. At least this is just a side job for her. I just hate her having that 'don't cut yourself over this' look in her eye as she spoke to me. Oy...

My boss should be in the rodeo. I've never had someone ride my ass for so long without at least getting a leg cramp. If all goes well she'll be with her family today while her mom has surgery. As I was leaving she mentioned coming here. I flipped. I said, "Are you out of your mind?" When she protested, saying that there was nothing for her to do there I semi yelled, "Yes, yes there is. You can be with your family. Supporting each other. You need to be in the waiting area with your family." I didn't want to mention what else was on my mind. If something happened and her mother died on the table, she'd be all the way out here. No WAY would I wish that on anyone. I don't get people. If I dropped dead today they'd have someone in my seat tomorrow. When it comes to the important things in life you need to put work second. I know I do. I cannot wait to have surgery for my back just to get out of there for a while. I am not even going to answer the phone. If they can't figure out how to do something then they can improvise. Then again, it's said that I'd go under the knife just to take some time off. :p

My boss showed up at work today. Apparently her family matter is put off til Thursday. So how did my day go, you ask? We fought. She snapped, I yelled, people cowered... and the group that sits near us gave me sympathetic looks. I cannot believe she got ONE sentence out of her mouth before chomping down on my ass. I let her know that too. After our initial head butting she backed off and kept to herself. I just can't WAIT until Wednesday. Really. *grabs razor-blades*

I just finished the first of two wonderful days off. On Wednesday my boss broke the news that she would be out next week. That blew my chances of taking Thursday and Friday off. I mentioned it to her and she said, "Why not take tomorrow and Friday off instead?" Oh hell to the yeah! I busted my ass to finish up all my reports and smiled all the way home. Today was spent just relaxing. I cleaned up the logs for this site and NoChickTrix, and just stayed away from the IMs. I plan on doing the same tomorrow. Not being social, that is. I am probably going to sleep in, watch some movies and just not think about anything.

Jake stayed after work today to play some basketball with the guys, which was nice. I missed him but the alone time was kick ass. It's been so long since I just had time to myself like that. I remember when he first came out here. I wondered how I would be able to deal with someone in the same home for a whole month. Three and a half years later I miss him when he goes to the store. It's strange... I went from wondering how I was going to deal with him in my life to how I deal with him not being there... even for an hour or two. Okay, enough with the sappy shit. Back to my vacation. Weeee!

You know, I shouldn't bitch. There are some people out there without a job. But some days letting loose is the only way I can manage to walk into that place.

We have two temps. One is for data entry only and one is an old coworker. The old coworker is a blessing. She knows how to do most of the work so the training is minimal. The other temp is very nice and doesn't know any of our systems. That means 'someone' has to find stuff for her to do. Yesterday my boss caught her reading while waiting for someone to give her work. You know that didn't fly. You know what it did do? It transferred the grief my boss was giving me onto to her. Thank G-d for temps!

Why oh why do people have to come to work sick? My coworker comes in at death's door and starts hacking up shit right next to me. She can't talk above a whisper and is in need of medical attention. So what does she do? Come to work and infect everyone there. I swear, we have got to have the sickest group in the hospital. Someone's always taking off for doctors appointments or calling in sick. The past two days we were down four people. Everyone was put on doubletime duty. Now that my one coworker decided to come in and cough all over everyone I'm expecting a meltdown any day now. All I can say is that if I get sick I'm going to kill her. Or at least give her the most painful noogie she's ever had.

An old coworker applied for my friend's job. She came in while I was at lunch so I only saw her afterwards. During the interview I heard her voice and the hairs stood up on the back of my neck. When I worked with her in the Operating Room she was hell on wheels. To be truthful, you had to be to survive down there. It was like being in the trenches. Afterwards we played nice and she left. Then the boss asked me what she like in the OR. "Like spitfire" is all I could say. After she told me about the interview all I could do was shake my head. Same chick after all these years, just a tad more psycho. I didn't want to say too much, because it had been a while since we worked together. It doesn't sound like she's going to be hired though. I'm kind of relieved. Lets put it this way, I still have memories of her shrill voice yelling down the hallway. *shudders*

That's one way to put it. Rather, it's how my boss did. Me, I'd just say I'm having *raging PMS from hell and just back the fuck away.* As a matter of fact, that was my response to her. Yeah, today was fun.

Monday was quite the shitty day. The HUGE report I was told about on Friday AFTERNOON took up all my day. The best part? It's still not done. Considering it's due today at 10AM I can comfortably say: I'm screwed. At one point I had my boss standing behind me, asking me what I was going to do next. Each time I tried to do a number she asked that. I finally said, "I'm going to wait until you leave before continuing. THAT'S what I'm going to do next." She left, only to come back when I burried my hands in my head. Our data is shit. All the little tweaks she's done has made it impossible to give an accurate report without working twice as hard. It makes me want to scream. I just keep thinking about the Friday when she'll be off. I'm going to fuck around like there's no tomorrow. Work? HAH! Talk to me on Monday.

Thursday came and went without any formal update from my Boss. I quietly asked her how the meeting went and she gave me a thumbs up. WTF is that supposed to mean? By the end of the day I couldn't stand it and approached her in her office. She initially gave me the 'Don't worry about it' brush off. I retorted, "Don't worry? You take me to an hour lunch with talk of looking for another job and then it's a thumbs up and don't worry? Did he change his mind?" "Nothing's changed. If I am looking for a new job I will let you know." That was the end of our discussion. I was going to put off doing things until I knew what was going to happen. Now I feel like I should try doing them as quickly as possible so get them out of the way. If I don't I may not get a chance to do them for a loooong time. *sigh* Just when I thought all this work shit was settling.

Okay, so I may be needing to find a new job pronto. My boss asked me to have coffee with her and talk. It would seem there is a probable big shake-up happening and her future is iffy. That also means mine is. She'll find out more on Thursday, which bites... because that's two whole days away. We had a really nice chat though, which was refreshing. I busted my ass today trying to get a four part report out so she could show the powers that be how well we are doing. She was happy with the result, which was a relief. Needless to say, :Jake: and I have some rethinking to do on our plans. *sigh*

My boss is coming back to work while still recouperating from pneumonia. I am not thrilled. Besides the fact that she should be resting I don't want to get sick. I get pheumonia every time I get a cold and I don't need her bringing in a ready made germ. I loathe when people come to work sick. It's so inconsiderate. Just stay home and get better. No one gets brownie points for bringing their colds to work. We have a coworker who insists on coming to work sick. Everytime I hear her cough or sneeze I want to spray Lysol over the cubicle wall. Well, it's off to work. Red Team, Go!

The two new girls that work our department have finally lost their 'new person' shine and are showing their less than attractive quirks. I really like them, so I'm hoping the boss' claim to be able to 'whip them into shape' is true.

The first gal doesn't want to write down notes... ever. So now we're learning about all the mistakes she's done because she didn't listen to directions. She's really pushy, which threw me off at first. Now I just tell her to calm down and it breaks the steam engine that is her personality down.

The second gal is a worldwind of gab. I'm amazed she finds time to breathe. I adore her sweetness but the energery that girl kicks out is tiring. Unfortunately she sits next to the ladies in the next department who love to chat and it's going to get her into trouble. She also seems to forget how to do things, and that's wearing thin on the boss' nerves. REAL thin. Yesterday the bossasked me to show her how to do something AGAIN because if she showed her she'd start yelling. She also caught her painting her nails. There is no way you can be slow enough to paint nails during work hours at this job. When I found out the information I had been begging people to enter into the computer was sitting on her desk I wanted to cry. She doesn't understand the idea of time limits and urgencies. Oy...

Yesterday I went through April stats to get a head start on it. They fucked up on so much stuff... today I plan on having a long meeting with the boss. She keeps saying how she has someone check their work and yet it's not being checked. My daily reports for them are going to be one hundred pages long just so they can check everything. The next step is to hire people to sit next to them and point what to do.

Today was a test of my inner strength. We were swamped with projects and all I could think about was going home and having an enjoyable evening with Jake. My boss was in a good mood and even drove to get the Cinco de Mayo food from El Pollo Loco. I think that's what kept me sane enough to make it. If she had been in one of her 'moods' I think I would have been looking for a job. Seriously. All I want to do is kick back and relax this weekend. Chat with people on and off but for the most part get away from it all. As of 5 O'Clock the world ceased to exist as we know it. Now it's just me, Jake and the cats... getting ready to drink some Don Julio tequila and watch a flick or two. Not the cats. They're not allowed to drink. :p

The past two days have been so enjoyable. Yesterday I spent twenty minutes fighting with my boss in a yelling match that silenced half the floor. The reason? She claimed I didn't tell her about a bug with some letters I created. The bug that SHE originally found months ago and made me sit on the phone with the programmers of the software to find the cause of. The bug that she told everyone about. No way in hell was I going to let that go by. So we both butted heads on it while my friend stood there, in utter silence with her jaw on the floor. At one point my boss yelled at me to 'stop saying you told me' when explaining it. I retorted 'Fine. But I DID tell you.' my friend thought she was going to lunge for me. Whatever. Later that night I jumped out of the shower and saw hives. I figured it was just the shower with the heat of the day. By three I was going nuts. No way was I going into work like this. So I called my boss and was greeted by a 34 minute scolding about how I'm letting stress get to me and that it's a pattern. At one point she said I needed to find a way to get rid of the stress. I said, 'Fine. I quit.' She wasn't amused. She kept on about how it was mental until I balked. My eye is red, I have blotches all over and it's itching like crazy. It's NOT mental. Then she went on to my diet and started bitching at me about that. Honestly it would have been easier to just go in. I need to find a new job. I have so many things I'm planning that it's the worst time to start looking. As soon as that's over I am making a B-Line for the job section.

I wanted Friday off to do some errands, but my boss' new ONE person off at a time rule fucked that up. It's not like we're a small department. She offered a compromise and would let me leave early. When I told her the latest I could make my hair appointment was 12:30 she balked. FUCK. Now she says that IF it's slow and IF everyone else shows up I can go. I am taking the chance and not cancelling my appointment. We're also celebrating her birthday so I'm hoping she'll be in a giving mood and just let me go. Meanwhile, Jake has the whole day off and is going to see Slither AND Brick. Butthead.

Yesterday was an eeeeearly morning for me. I work up at 5am, sprinted out the door at 6am to be at work at 6:20am. That's when the fun started. I had asked the building liaison (no joke, that's his title) if there was anything I needed to do since I was coming in before 6:30am. His response was to remember to turn off my computer for the weekend power outtage. Okay.... I show up, park, take the elevator to the lobby and jump into the next elevator. I pushed my floor and nothing. No light. Okay, so I tried the other side. Nothing. Then the doors closed and I panicked. after hitting every button without a response I managed to lean against L and the door opened. WTF!?! I went over to the security desk and told him the elevator wasn't working. He responded, "Oh, they don't turn on this early in the morning." My jaw dropped. He walked with me to the elevator and swiped his magic card so I could go to my office. After letting the IT in, and helping restart all the computers I shot off an email to the liaison guy letting him know the elevators didn't work at that hour. I figured he didn't know. His response? "Oh yeah. You have to let me know if you are coming in early so I can give you access with your card." No shit, Sherlock...

My job hit a new low today. After two hours of bickering my boss and I were reduced to bitching at each other via emails. The fact that she's less than ten feet away and in full view of me made it even more ironic. The whole thing was over some work she told me to put aside, then asked why it wasn't done. I finally reminded her of that and she gave me the classic "oh yeah" look. I could almost hear the wheels churning as she tried to think of a way to turn it around on me. In the end I won this round... Until she started in on me about how she wanted it to be taken care of so it didn't happen AGAIN. Oy vey. Ten minutes later she grabbed her coat, smiled and said, "We made it through another day!" As she walked away I yelled, "BARELY!" and listened to her laugh on her way out the door. *grumbles* I wasn't kidding...

Yesterday was a joy. I sat down at my desk and was interrogated by my boss. Each report she asked me about had the same response. "No, it's not done." The worst part is that I heard a familiar tone... the tone she used to give me when she thought I was slacking off. The tone that said, "I wan't to order people around". I waited until the people in her office left (although I had to fight the urge to kick them out) and laid into her.

Me: I don't know if you're hungry, grumpy or forgetful but your line of questioning was unacceptable. Last week you told me I had no deadlines and to focus on doing the other groups' work. You even told my coworker I had no deadlines and was available to work. I did this through this week and Friday I left at 11am.

Boss: Yes, but it's Thursda...

Me: Yes it is. And what did I do all yesterday? I found out that only FIVE days in January are correct for the report that's due next week. I spent all day working on that. AND this morning... We're not even halfway to finding out what happened and then they have to fix it.

That shut her up. She tried again later about a report that was late because the letter she was writing wasn't done... I felt like it was a test to see how much I'd remember.

Boss: Why didn't you remind me?

Me: What?!? I asked you. I reminded you. I EMAILED you.

Boss: Yes, but...

Me: But nothing. I can only remind you so much. EVERYTHING was ready. All I needed was that letter with your signature.

I swear that woman will never take responsibility for any screw ups on her part. A half hour later she tried to say she thought it was the letter for the other report. I told her I showed her the letter to sign and that she even came over, saw the report on my desk and asked why it wasn't out. I'm not going to let her wiggle out of this one. Five HUNDRED pages sitting on my desk that I worked on are now in the shredder. *sigh*

Last week was a mess. On Monday my boss calls me into her office shaking her head. One of my coworkers gave her two days notice that she was celebrating her one year anniversary and could she have the rest of the week off through next Tuesday. She responded with a 'You have got to be kidding' email. After giving her a very hard time she said yes. An hour later the new coworker passed out and had to be rushed to the ER. She ended up admitted for the rest of the week. At that point I would have cancelled the last minute vacation of the first coworker, but my boss decided to let her go (and they say she's always mean). So naturally I had to take over doing their job again, which entails going through over 500 sheets of paper from the fax, sorting the authorizations/medical records out, looking to see if their duplicates and then giving them to people for call backs. I loathe that job. It's amazing how little people think about details when sending authorizations.

Medical Group: Why haven't you called our patient to schedule an appointment?
Me: Because you didn't list a telephone number for them OR you.

I kid you not, this happens daily. They send authorizations without diagnosis, or what they even want the patient to come here for. *shakes head* At least the one coworker (who took vacation) is back today. I will happily dump all the work on her. With a smile. Showing all 32 teeth. Gnashing...

I arrived at work to see sticky notes everywhere. All the reports I did had circles, questionmarks and "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?" All my work... destroyed. Leave the boss alone for one day and all hell breaks loose. After reminding her for the tenth time how I get the numbers she sheepishly said, "Oh, can you reprint them then?" I sat down at my desk and was shaking. She started to complain about something else and I literally found myself thinking 'I quit. I'll find work somehow.' Luckily it didn't go past the lips. Then my boss storms past me and locks her eyes on a coworker. The next thing I hear is "Get off the internet and get to work". I swear all I could think was, "Thank G-d she's onto someone else." When she came back she looked relieved... like she was able to blow off some steam and not piss me off.

Later on in the day she asked me to help her get together a report for a big meeting she has. The meeting that's been scheduled for two weeks. The meeting that starts in 40 minutes... and is 40 minutes away. I wanted to bang my head against the desk. I rushed around, getting everything together and finally got her out the door as the meeting was about to begin. *sigh* I was so warn out by the end of the day I could have crawled into my car. After a 30 minute drive home I get a call on my cell from her. She wanted to thank me for all the hard work I've done and tell me that the report I put together impressed the big guys and may have saved some jobs. That's a hell of a way to end the day...

Let me get this straight... The coworker who worked a grand total of 5.5 months out of 12 last year takes off for a week and I have to do her work? AND she doesn't even do the work from last month (yes the WHOLE fucking month) and someone else had to pick up her slack? What kind of deal did she make? Sign me up... I've been on edge every day with the amount of work dumped on me and all I hear is 'you missed out on 30 minutes worth of work because you didn't ask if someone was done'. This job is getting OLD.

I just saw the new desk I will have to move to once we hire the third person. It's down the hall. Waaaay down the hall. You open the door and there I am, like some sort of annoyed greeter. This is just too fucked up. She went over to show me and had this 'I know this really sucks' look on her face. She tried to make it sound better by sayind she'd ask for a higher cubicle wall so people didn't have immediate eye contact when they walked through the door. Lovely. Now I'm going to be freaked out by strangers peering over the top like some freaky Kill-Roy homage.

There's nothing worse than turning on your computer at work and realizing your stuffs gone. By 'stuff' I mean Instant Messeger. Since the boss knows I use it and is fine with it I didn't know what to think. After a couple of hours the IT guy returns my email but can't look into it yet. Then the internet connection dropped. By the time he finally got everything reinstalled it was almost time to go and AIM was dead. I won't even know if it works until I get back on Tuesday. At least I got my Firefox back. And now... the weekend. The loooooong weekend. Let the partying begin.

Getting back into the swing of things is harder than I thought. My mind is still on vacation-mode. Work has been hell the past two days, so hopefully it will mellow out by the end of the week. My boss has been in an uber cranky mood and everyone else is taking that as a cue to bash her. Honestly she's not the evil person they want to make her out to be.

In other news I have yet to get that raise that goes along with all the extra shit I am taking on. If it doesn't come by next week I'm going to go on strike. You want the work? Pay me for the job.