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I remember when I first saw her. I had come into the vet after losing Trouble to Pancreatic Cancer. I don't even remember why I was there. One of the doctors remembered me from visiting hours (I was there until they kicked me out every night he was hospitalized) and asked about Luigi, my other cat. I told her how he was lonely and needy... and I was trying to deal with the loss. I talked about him (big black cat who has a stump for a tail after a fan accident) and she said there was the perfect playmate for him right upstairs. There was a black and white kitten that a doctor had found who was born with half a tail. At first I said no. I wasn't ready. She talked me into just seeing the kitten. A few minutes later a guy walked out with a bad ass kitten perched on his shoulder. He introduced the cat as 'Tough Guy' and told me about how he'd hang out on people's shoulders as they walked around. I pointed out that *he* was a *she* and the guy got embarrassed. "That's one bad assed little girl then!" he said. And with that she hopped into my lap and home we went.
Trixi and Luigi had a rough beginning. She was 9 pounds of attitude and he was 20 pounds of wimp. This led to many chases with her swiping at his butt while he screamed as if she was an axe murderer and me close behind swiping at her butt with a broom. She finally got spayed and calmed down some. Three years later Ginger was given to me as a present and the household was full of cats. A year after that Luigi died of squamous cell carcinoma. Trixi and Ginger bonded and all was well. In 2003 Jake moved in and the cats loved him. I mean loved him. I was chopped liver compared to him. Between the two of us they were spoiled beyond rotten. Ginger became ill in 2006 and died from Chronic Renal Failure. She was only seven. Trixi went into mourning. She was super needy and even gained weight. On the advice of a rescuer we got two kittens. She said getting two would help Trixi to adjust. The kittens would play with each other and Trixi would get used to having them around. The plan worked perfectly. Trixi went from mini hissing to even batting them around. For the most part she either slept next to me at the computer or next to Jake as he played video games and left the kittens to romp around on their own. She slept with the kittens and once again relaxed. The last year of her life was good. She had siblings and parents who loved her. She bonded with our friends Mark and Cat. She was content. On Friday we took her to the vet and sat with her for a while beforehand. They have a quiet room with comfortable furniture to sit on and spend some time. Trixi sat between us and even purred. She was in pain but still knew she was with people who loved her. I felt guilty. I felt horrible. But I knew it was the best way. No more pain. No more suffering. They made the experience as comfortable as possible. In the end I cried harder than I can remember. My baby was gone and all I could do was hold her body. We spent the weekend spoiling the two cats and just being numb. I ache. I kept looking for her. Now all I have are memories. And now... so do you. Last night Jake and I came home to cat pee on the carpet by the litter box and Trixi sitting in the middle of the room howling. We grabbed her and headed straight for the vet. A really nice doctor did an examination and spoke of chronic renal failure, hyperthyroidism and cancer. My head was swimming in all the possibilities and we went home and waited for the test results to come back. This morning I got the call. The tests pointed towards cancer and two more tests were needed. I opted for the bone marrow aspiration which would definitely rule out or confirm the cancer. Now I'm sitting at work and thinking about her procedure tomorrow and words like 'Multiple Myeloma' and 'six to seven months lifespan' are fading in and out of any conversation I have. I want to be home, but there's nothing I can do. All we can do is sit and wait and look at our options. The money is steep and the decisions are steeper. Quality of life is what's important to me. If it means six or seven months of pain and suffering I won't put her through that. I held onto my first two cats until they were almost limp. It was too long. I held on to them for me. *I* wasn't ready to let them go. Now I understand that it's not about me. It's about them and their physical state. I love Trixi to death but I'm not going to put her through months of needles and medications and nausea just so I can see her wither away. Jake started chuckling this morning (a rarity at this hour) and mentioned that Dorian was chasing his tail. I looked over for a sec and noticed he was spinning oddly. Me: I think he has something on his tail At this point I figured Jake would have taken him over to the kitchen and turned on the light to see what said sticky thing was. Instead he picked Dorian up and ran his hand down the tail... then stopped. Jake: Oh G-d! And with that we ended up spending twenty minutes cleaning poo from Dorian's tail. He made such a fuss... Meanwhile I'm late and calling my work with the 'my cat had poo on it's tail' excuse doesn't sound like it's going to fly. Last night we were fast asleep when Phoebe decided to pounce on me. I was about to fuss when I noticed her looking attentively towards the window. Then I heard the noise. Some moron decided to get himself arrested at midnight on our street. The tow truck came in and noisily prepared to move their car onto it's flatbed. I woke up Jake to tell him and he mumbled that he hoped it was the guy with the sensitive car alarm and went back to sleep. Meanwhile the cats decided I was the hiding zone from the noise and kept me up. I wanted to bitch about the noise, but what can you do? They have a job and happen to work the shift everyone else sleeps. I remember working nights and loathed my noisy neighbors during the day. I would sleep with a pillow over my head and even tried cotton in the ears. As I drifted back to sleep my last thought was ten minutes of inconvenience for me VS 8 hours for them. Fair trade to move a fucking vehicle.
Last night was yet another round of stubborn heads between Phoebe and Jake. This time Jake started it. I have no idea why but he gets annoyed with when the cats are laying on me at night. One usually lays on my side/hip while the other lays over my leg. Getting up to pee is a treat. Anyway, Jake decides to push sleeping Phoebe off of me. That sets her in motion and she starts running around the apartment. Jake gets up and chases her around with the squirt bottle while I fuss at him. She finally jumps on the bed again, only to use Jake's crotch as a diving board. This makes him even MORE grumpy and the running with squirt bottle continues. Once back in bed Phoebe sneaks back onto the bed. Jake, in sensor mode, turns over and pushes her off. I fuss and she jumps back up again, shielded by my arm. Finally I yell "Just leave her alone. Jeesh." while she's trying to lay on my chest under my arms to hide from him. Mind you the whole time this is happening I am giggling. It's like a circus in our house.
[keywords: Cats boyfriend jake Flickr sleeping Phebe]
Posted by Diva on January 31, 2007 | Comments (0) On Saturday Jake and I stopped by the rescue stand to see the lady who fostered our two cats, Dorian and Phoebe. We hadn't spoken to her in a while and got an email asking for donations. It turns out she never got my message. I've been wanting to donate more money for a while so it was a perfect opportunity to help a fellow foster volunteer and a kitten who was very ill. I hope the little guy makes it. The best part was seeing the other people who ended up adopting from Bernadine. I remember their cats when they were kittens and they've all grown so big. The other foster people were amazed at how many of her adopters showed up. It was nice to show them how grateful we were for all that they've done. Bernadine doesn't just rescue/foster cats. She shows them love and keeps them in a calm house where they are people and other pets. By the time the cats are adopted they are ready for any type of home that wants them. Tomorrow I start back at work, which is going to be hell. I have a week of work to catch up on and a boss that's going to ride my ass like the star horse in a rodeo. Oy... He thrusts his Dorian has started a cute habit that is fast becoming a bad one. He'll hop into the shower and start scratching at the doors so they'll make banging noises. At first we both laughed, which was probably a bad idea. This morning he started doing it at 4a.m. I wanted to kill him. I tried calling to him and getting him to come to bed... but the little bugger decided he wanted everyone up and wouldn't stop. He went from banging the doors to running up and down the hallway. This lasted until I finally dragged my ass out of bed at 5a.m., a half hour earlier than usual. Now I'm tired and have to try and go to work. *yawns* If only we could keep him awake during the day... Yesterday was wrapping day at our house. Number of presents to wrap: 1. I was sitting at the computer with Phoebe when her ears perked up and she took off down the hall like a bat out of hell. The next thing I hear is paper crumpling and Jake yelling, "G-d damn it!" She waltzed back out only to do it again. By the third time Jake learned to listen for her galloping and pulled the paper out of the way. I was no help, laughing and calling to her. I can't imagine wrapping any other gifts. If we have to I'm getting video of it. :D
[keywords: Life Cats boyfriend jake Phoebe presents]
Posted by Diva on December 22, 2006 | Comments (1) My boyfriend: defender of good, able to leap over curbs in a single hop, official garbage taker and now: Cat puke cleaner upper! Yay! I felt like I needed to thank him after Trixi pulled a Linda Blair on me this morning as I was brushing my hair in the bathroom. I heard a noise and looked down to see cat puke inches away from my foot. Ew. After yelling out in disgust I did my normal "I dont wanna" whine and it worked. My boyfriend rocks. He also has a much stronger stomach than me. Okay, now that I've grossed everyone out for the day... I decided to start yet ANOTHER blog. This time it's about the cats. I realize there a lot of people who aren't cat fanciers or even fond of animals, so I am trying to spare them from those types of posts. It's called Will Blog 4 Mice. I won't be doing daily posts but I will update regularly. :D Pretty soon I'm going to have a blog for work, a blog for news, a blog about my boyfriend and a PMS blog. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Bernadine delivered Dorian and Phoebe last night. Yay! Almost all the pictures looked like shit because I was so excited. When Bernadine opened the cage they took off running and checking out the place. I thought for sure they'd be nervous, but they were more relaxed than we were. Phoebe *pointed out* several spots that need to be kitten proofed within 5 minutes. Jake and I did double time trying to catch the little buggers as they romped and played. Phoebe went behind the couch and decided it was time to play hide and seek. Unfortunately Trixi was there hiding from all the comotion. She hissed at Phoebe, who thought it was a game. Luckily that's all that happened.
We kept them in the bathroom at night so they could get used to the new home slowly. When we brought them out today they went wild. Jake and I sat there and watched them run and jumped all over the place. Phoebe is a pro at sneak attacks and has already claimed the top area of the cat furniture. Trixi watched them from under my desk, hissing at them when they ran up to her. They didn't seem to mind her too much, which was pretty funny. I think that will stop her from hissing faster than anything. It's no fun hissing if no one reacts. :) After giving Trixi a peace offering of chicken we watched a movie on the couch with the little ones hopping in our laps. I felt bad for Trixi, but I know she'll be right up there with them soon enough. Bernadine called to check up on the little ones and I couldn't thank her enough for saving their lives and giving them to us. They're both complete charmers who love to snuggle and sleep on our laps. Phoebe uses my chest as a napping place, which I adore. I knew having large breasts would come in handy some day. Ginger's home and looking better. I decided to do whatever I could to make her happy, even if it means not forcing meds down her throat and doing daily subcutaneous IV daily. So far she's handled the antibiotics well, but I'll be glad when the two weeks are over. This twice a day shit is for the birds. With Jake going in early it makes it worse. This morning I woke up and barely had time to pee before he was fussing at me to get the meds and grabbing the cat. I know she'll be glad, that's for damn sure. Meanwhile Trixi is STILL being a bitch to her, hissing everytime she comes near. Before all this Ginger used to try and annoy her, so I'm thinking she'll start to make a game of this soon. Just don't do it by my feet! |
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