You wake me up so I can see (the road)
You soothe my personality so I can handle nasty calls (without ripping their heads off)
Your caffeine of life surges through me and I am alive
Bless you... Amen

Yeppers, I don't think I'd have a job without coffee. Between needing that extra kick to jump start my energy and make me less 'bitey', coffee is the way to go for me. I can't imagine going through the day without caffeine. maybe if I was able to wake up at ten and leisurely stroll into work at 11ish I could do it. Maybe. Jake seems to be able to do the shotgun method of hopping out of bed and going to the store at 5am. Freak...

PS: Shut up Unfy

Yesterday a coworker offered a tin of cookies to us. I politely declined, saying we were trying to be good. Now I wish I had taken the damn things. She decided to offer them to all of us, begging me to try the 'yummy cookies' her uncle bought her that she couldn't eat for health reasons. I grabbed a couple while faintly hearing another coworker whisper 'don't!' and took them to my desk. I sat down, popped in one of the cookies in my mouth and then... stopped. The taste. It was... oh man. It was like old playdough. I reached for the trashcan and spit it all out, then followed that up with the other cookies I had grabbed. In the background I could hear a faint snickering with an 'I told you so'. That bitch. :p Today I heard the group whispering about what to do with the playdough cookies. They didn't want to hurt our coworkers feelings... but didn't want to spend the next eight hours spitting up nasty treats either. I walked up and showed plan C to them. I took a handful of cookies, smiled, then dropped them into the trashcan. I figure two to three days of feeding the trash should make everyone happy. I is so smart.

...named Jake. I woke up and lumbered into the bathroom, briefly glancing about. I noticed a glob of something by the shower and figured it was some sort of hairball. Lovely... I grabbed some toilet paper and reached down only to see that it wasn't kitty throw up, but a glob of some sort of crystalized peanut butter. Almost like a honeycomb. I cleaned it up and started picking little bits up off the throw rug, then noticed it was also on the towel. WTF!?! Afterwards I went into the kitchen. It was like a Mr. Peanut crime scene. Peanut butter on the counter, the sink, the OTHER counter. What did he do... use his hand to scoop it out? Nope. In the sink were TWO knives, each with big goops of peanut butter on them. A HUGE pet peeve of mine. Since the surgery I haven't tried peanut butter yet... and have always had a thing about not cleaning it off of your knife when done. Jake, on the other hand, leaves half a fucking jar on the knife and then drops it into the sink to sit... and harden... and get EVERYWHERE. He woke up just in time to hear me bitch (as if I wouldn't save it) about his peanut butter orgy. At least he cleaned the knives this time. :p

I had my first almost real meal. Minestrone Soup... blenderized. That's right... There wasn't a speck of anything in it but it was goooood. I ate more than I was supposed to (oops) but it was too good to pass up. I looked up the serving size after I finished the meal. My bad. So far no pains, etc... One thing I learned from this experience is to NEVER assume it's going to be a walk in the park. I figured I would have six weeks of needed vacation to lounge around and rest. The clear liquids would be a no brainer and what is one month or two compared to the healthier you? I should have mentally prepared for this. I was trying so hard to just get past the surgery that I didn't think about the recovery process. I feel bad for Jake. By the time he gets home he's worked all day and wants to unwind. Meanwhile I'm ready to explode from boredom and feel uber needy. Of course when I fuck up and do something I'm not supposed to (and hurt myself) he gripes at me for not asking him to do it.

My friend called today after getting back from Australia and I overwhelmed her with chatter. I was just so glad to talk to someone. I don't think she got a word in for the first twenty minutes or so. :D Finally I stopped the "MEMEME" and asked about her. Yeppers, I may be slow but I catch on...

I never noticed how much I would miss food until I can't eat it. I have one more week of clear liquids before I can start on foods. Even then it's going to be a slow process. But ANYTHING is better than Jello, water, popcicles and broth. Watching movies are really hard when it gets to the food scenes. I was dying for a salad with tomatoes... and sure enough that's what they were eating. I want a potato so bad... and still do even after watching an actor throw it up in another movie.

Speaking of movies... I am very annoyed at Columbia House. I ordered five movies on August 31st so they would be here in time. I get back from the hospital and still no movies. I found Columbia House's phone number via the Get Human site and they assured me it would take 7 to ten days. No fair! I can't sit at the computer long and can't walk far... I'm bored out of my mind. My love affair with CH is turning into a 'eh, they're okay'. Entertain me, damn it!

What I find ironic is how many churchgoers hot foot it over to the nearest deli after service. Could it be that they're filled with spirituality and are seeking their religious roots? Or does sitting through a long sermon make you crave a good pastrami sandwich? I only ask because the wait at Juniors Deli was so dang long on Sunday that I tought we were going to see Christ arrive. Or revisit depending upon your religion. Whatever. I never got my Pastrami sandwich. I'm not saying that delicatessens are Jews only. It's just that so many gentiles go on about Sunday being their day of rest, close the shop, bla bla bla... Then they get hungry. Oh no, they're closed? Where will we eat? What comes next is, "I'm sorry. The wait will be 45 minutes. Would you like to sit.. Er.. Stand in our waiting area until we call you?" You want the stores closed because some Pope felt Saturday 'just wasn't working' and changed it to Sunday? Fine. Eat at home. Rest already! It's not like G-d came down and said, "Really? No good? Let me get my calendar out... Huh? Oops, you're right. I need the 'revised one' for you. Tuesday? No? Hmmmm. Sunday'll work. It's only a day after. They can schlep around for another day. Done!"

Jake and I went to The Cheesecake Factory last night for dinner. The atmostphere was romantic, the food delicious and the waiters... Well they were hitting on my boyfriend. I don't mind it much. We get better service and the waiters are more friendly. When we got up to leave a waiter (who had never served us) leaned over towards Jake and said "You come back real soon." I could stay home and eat sandwiches for he cared... but the boy toy was his.

We decided to go to Black Angus last night so I could get my chicken fix. It was delicious. While trying to enter the freeway I had to merge with another lane. This bitch decided she wasn't going to let me in, so I rolled down my window, started making a scene and then cut in. She was so pissed that she rode on the shoulder to get two cars ahead of me. Yeah, that's mature. After 20 minutes I finally got my revenge by driving by her. She was stuck behind some slow ass truck, grinding her teeth. Karma: You gotta love it!