I am still reeling from this morning. OB says, "Odessa, I got this weird email from NB telling me that your end date was going to have to be May 30th. Why did she send me that?" I told her that it was in response to her statement and she said, "I didn't say you were staying longer. You asked ME if you could." I blinked. I dropped my jaw. I let out a high screechy "WHAT!?!" that made dogs cringe. She insisted I was the one that asked to stay longer. Oh sure. Because I WANT to stay in a job with a boss that's psychotic. We went back and forth for over twenty minutes. Each refusing to back down. She said I started it by asking if I could stay. I countered with a "Did not!" and she said that why did I mention the end date? "Because Ann wanted to confirm and I asked you as a courtesy. Because YOU said you may need me longer." Yeah, I hate this job so hard right now.

Later on our IT guy got a dose of Creepy IT Chick to boot. He sat to use my computer while I went to cool off and I came back to her talking some sort of shit about me. He was NOT happy. He finally snapped at her that he makes the IT decisions for our department and that some sort of freeware would NOT be installed. I found out later she was telling him to install some sort of freeware so OB could screen capture easier. She walked out of my cubicle huffing and making smart remarks. I tried to calm him down (and he's usually unflappable). I waved the three hole puncher in front of him and said, "Look what I've got. Need anything punched?" He said in a REALLY loud voice, "Yeah, HER!" Awwwwkward. But funny. Really funny.

The Creepy IT Chick tried to pull yet another fast one. Instead of saying she forgot something in her Macros she claimed my old boss claimed that was the way she was told to do it. Of course I was in the same meeting... so I knew that was total bullshit. When I tried to explain how it SHOULD be done, she started shaking her head like a two year old having a fit, as if I was in the wrong. Yeah, because we WANT our numbers to be incorrect. Oy. I pulled her confused ass into my OB's office faster than you can say 'you're full of shit' and left it to her to decide. CITC is really good at fast talk and OB was half a nod away from agreeing with her when I jumped in. I had to draw diagrams, print data and a fucking legend before OB realized that I was correct and CITC was out of her fucking mind. Again. My favorite part was after I went to great pains to not do the 'you said' line and stated 'I believe it's CITC's understanding that...' and when I asked if that sounded about right she replied (looking at OB), 'Yes. It was my und... I mean YOU told me to do this...' All class. All class. In the end I was right, she was wrong and I have yet to get my Monthly reports finished. I can tell that she wasn't thrilled about me yanking her ass into OB's office. Just wait until OB expects something from her and I'm not here to buffer. She won't be able to fast talk her way out of that one with all the caffeine, cocaine and meth in the world.

The Creepy IT Chick has a few more nails in her coffin. One of which is complementary of my boss. She talks loud. And cusses. And gossips. And bitches. And... she's annoying. So after a round of 'lets bitch about the boss in a job that I'm not even officially hired in' my boss had had enough. She slammed her door (not the first time) and typed out an email to her boss, politely asking for someone talk talk to her about her tone and wording. She actually had a good point. There's nothing worse than talking with a patient who's loved one is dying and trying to drown out profanities and negative comments of the person next to you. CITC admitted her volume level was high and promised to keep it down. That last for a total of three days. Monday she was back to her old self with the Creepy IT guy that hangs around her and their boss came by. She asked them how long they had been there and if she remembered that all lengthy conversations were not to be held at her desk. With that the guy skittered away and CITC was left to simmer at her desk. I could bake an egg on her forehead. Oy.

I really don't feel *that* bad for her. She's bitched about this job since I first met her. Everyone who walked by her desk would have to listen to snarky comments about her boss and whoever else she worked with that wasn't around. I felt like I was in junior high again and happened upon one of the mean girl spots. You know... the corners that all the bitchy girls hung around, cat calling to everyone else. The minute one of the teachers walked by they went into innocent mode. The biggest difference is... this chick is in her 50s/60s. It's no wonder she can't find a permanent position. Snarky ISN'T sexy. :p

Last Thursday I sent our monthly report to the Creepy IT Chick so that she could upload it to her database. I hear her whine 'Thanks a lot, Odessa. Unfortunately I can't get to our database'. I respond with my usual 'No problem', because it isn't... it's hers. Tuesday I shot off an email to her (and CC'd my boss) asking the database was back up so she could give us the quarterly report. She shouts over the cubicle, 'What do you mean? The database hasn't been down.' Oh yeah, it's on now bitch! I stomp over there and remind her of the conversation we had last week (verbally, of course) and she says she didn't mean our database. Riiight. So I asked why she would even mention it in the same sentence as doing my work if it had nothing to do with us. Then she starts twisting things around before trying to blame it on the other guys, saying she couldn't get to the program. So she *couldn't* run the report, but could get to the database. Specifics I could care less about if the bottom line was she couldn't run our reports. Seriously, I could give a rats ass about what exactly the issue was... My boss has been chomping at the bit to break away from their section and this is just one more bite.

The Creepy IT Chick does it again. I ask her why her report is off by ten appointments and she tries the 'oh you know, we're going to be off by some' bullshit. I ask her to show me which ones and she starts a whole line of bullshit about the data I give her, blah blah blah... including that it doesn't have the same information. WTF!?! I ask her to show me and after some extra bullshit she pulls up the report. EVERYTHING is there. She starts in with the discussion MONTHS ago and how we agreed to do this and that... whch was major bullshit. After pointing that out (politely) she realizes its on her part and says she has to figure out what's going on.

Fast forward to our meeting with her boss and mine. After she's called on the carpet for the time it takes her to run the reports (hours turns into minutes) my boss starts asking for control of the reports again. While I appreciate her help, it would seem we lose more than gain with it. I mention the issue and she practically dives in to say it's being fixed. Both bosses miss that exchange and I am left with getting a Macro that doesn't work. The hell with that! I confront my boss (in the bathroom) and tell her what's happening. She goes into a long bitch session that I can only cut in on by flushing (I am so getting a flushing sound for my desk). In the end she wants me to alert her boss so she doesn't expect me to get incorrect data. Lovely...

I hate feeling like a snitch, but this chick is Pro when it comes to bullshitting. Lately she's been in the dog house for not following through with her work (even being suspended for three days) and she's not even a fulltime employee. I just hope to get the Macro before she takes off and I am left with hours of work again. Oy...

My G-d. The creepy IT chick has been farting... all day. Between taking little sips of air and spraying some old Victoria's Secret body spray I found in the drawer I think I'm going to faint. In other news, my boss sucks and this day majorly blows. :p

Wow! That was.... harsh. The creepy IT chick got her ass handed to her yesterday. As annoying as she is this was still a bit much. I can't say she didn't have it coming. Her boss came by to find out how she was doing on a major report that was due in one day. The IT chick's response: "I downloaded a patch from Microsoft's website." The woman blew her top. "What!?!?! That's all you've done in a day and a half!?!?! We pay you 85 THOUSAND dollars a year for super duper support and all you've done is download a patch!?!?!" At that point I grabbed my keys and went for a walk. I don't care if she was watching midget porn, you don't publicly tear someone a new asshole. That's what offices are for. Besides, who wants to hear that a person in management actually uses the term 'super duper'?

The creepy IT chick who sits next to me has been flirting with this other contracting IT guy for quite some time now. They've had noisy lunches at her desk and he is always popping up throughout the day to 'chat'. And by 'chat' I mean 'cleverly ask questions about the program they are both working on while disguising it as just saying hi'. The other day she decided to up the ante and ask him out to dinner. They are two of the most annoying people here so the thought of anything personal makes my skin crawl. If only they spoke quieter.

Anyway, he politely declined... saying he had to pick up something or another (I really was trying not to listen) and I figured he wasn't interested in her for anything other than information. She's a smart girl, right? She should get the hint. Nope. Soon after I walked around the corner to see her giving him an impromptu neck massage and quickly searched for the White-Out to put onto my eyes and erase that icky visual. It was obvious she was going for the kill when he managed to once again slip away. the next day I was walking down the hall and heard him talking to someone about what to do for the evening. I shrugged it off and went to my desk. He followed behind me and as if on cue his cell phone rang. He immediately starts sweet talking then gets off of the phone. She mentions him making plans without her and he says, "That was my sweetie. She just wanted to know what our plans were for the evening." I could almost hear the IT chick's heart breaking. I gave a sigh of relief thinking it was the end of hourly visits and icky flirtations. Don't get me wrong. I don't wish bad on the quirky chick. I'm sure she'll find another icky guy who will appreciate her and treat her right. I just hope it's not while at work. Ew.

The weird IT chick that moved next to me decided to have a mini lunch date with the new guy at her desk last week. She bitches about how loud we are anytime someone asks how her new cubicle is. Meanwhile she seems to have no volume control on her yapper. I would have really liked it for her date. She started off bitching about the Democrats and how they'll see how bad it will get, yada yada yada... Then started in on Clinton (of course). She couldn't understand how Democrats love the guy. Then she added, "I mean... Bush never lied... to a grand jury. He spoke the truth. You know, what he believed to be true." I had to fight the urge to jump the cubicle and slap her upside the head. I've never actually heard someone say that. Sure, there are people who don't read the news and only believe what they hear in church... but this was an educated woman. I had to leave my desk.

Yesterday she comes to work sick (one of my pet peeves). Don't bring your germs to work! How sick she was is up for debate though. Her voice went from a complete whisper (Telling her boss she's completely lost her voice) to normal tone (gossip, gossip, gossip with a coworker). All day long... I almost miss the *hocking* dude. Almost.

Okay, I am majorly annoyed at this IT chick at work. My Boss somehow met with "C" a while back and she talked my boss into automating our reports. I explained that the data was not clean and I had to do a lot of tweaking. C assured me (in front of the boss) that it would be as easy as pie. I remained HIGHLY skeptical. With B's blessing I removed the extra work we had done and stopped the nurses from doing it.

Let me do a brief explanation. If a patient calls we refer them to Doctor A. Three weeks later we check the hospital system to see if that person made an appointment. If they did we check off an area next to the doctor's name so they can see we gave them that patient. If the patient called up and was told Doctor B could see them sooner and saw them we had no way of showing Doctor B we sent the patient there. Enter the text fields in our report. I added all the doctors names into a field so we could select Doctor B if that happened. The problem? It's really not a reportable field. I'd have to count how many times each doctor got a patient and add it into the first section. Confusing? I thought so. M's idea was to change the computer date back to the referral date and enter a NEW referral with Doctor B in it. That made it a lot easier. C said we didn't have to do this so everyone stopped.

Two months ago C was supposed to have automated everything. She told me she didn't want me to do ANYTHING, just send her the raw data. Ooookay. She got back with me a couple of weeks later with a completely wrong number. We went back and forth, with me trying to explain why each part was going to be hard to do. She sends some data to my boss who asks why the numbers are so wrong. "Well, that's the data Diva sent me!" Then B bitches at me about sending wrong data and I have to explain that she asked for it that way. HIGHLY annoyed and now late I am told I have to hand count over 500 appointments because it's not going to be ready. Same thing last month.

This month my boss asks me to meet with C and find out what's going on. The fact that she's uber creepy aside, I don't trust her. Nonetheless I email her for a meeting. she replies, but then cancels. She reschedules and is a no-show. I start working on the month end again. I also decide to populate another text field to try and make the process easier. That's 1600 doctors I have to go through. I email about this to C and she says not to do anything until we meet. Not wanting to be burned again, I ignore her. The My boss emails her and schedules a meeting. Magically she shows up at my desk the day before to see if there's anything we should talk about beforehand. I show her the new project and she starts bitching about my boss. She said B has to give up some of the data she wants. That it shouldn't matter if we get 51% vs 49%. I told her it does but she's welcome to tell B that in the meeting. She said she'll set some things straight. Riiiight.

The day comes and my boss is in a mood. You know, the 'nothing you do is right' one. We meet and she smiles at C and frowns at me. C is chipper and talking about how close we're getting. Blah blah blah . Nothing about setting her straight even came up. I finally said, "Aren't you going to tell B about having to give up some numbers?" She looks nervous then says, "Oh no! With this new data everything should be fine!" Fucking bitch! We leave and I am highly annoyed.

I asked my boss about one report and she jumped down my throat about not telling her about another report we agreed to and to get C back. She comes back in and they have a pow wow while I'm printing the fucking report. I walk in to them saying, "Oh, it's no problem. Good!" Then B gives me the look like 'I can't believe you had me pull her back'. I wanted to scream. I interjected one thing and then the meeting was over. Right before lunch I tried to tell B some concerns I had about C. She jumps down my throat about not saying it in front of her and starts to lecture me about how I *should* have done this. I yelled, "FINE! Forget it!" and started to stomp out of the office. She tried smoothing it over with one of those, 'It's just that it works better that way' bullshit. I looked at her for a second and snapped, "It's about that time of the month, isn't it?" and she stopped. She responded pissily, "I guess it IS." I walked out of the office bitching, "Yeah, I THOUGHT so..." and she was nicer for the rest of the day.

It's a real bitch to be on the same PMS cycle as your boss....

PS: You know I'm PMSing when one post is longer than the rest of the month combined