Huge, hairy, sweaty donkey balls. Flea infested ones. I originally went on their site to do the usual 'what's the cheapest airfare' tester. After going on several different websites they had the best. I bought the overly priced tickets and went on to select the seating. Going from LA to Dallas was a breeze. When I moved on to the return flight it kept kicking me out. It would confirm... then kick me out. Each time showing less seats. I figured rather than book the whole fucking plane (although that would be kick ass) I called Cheap Tickets and they said it was a computer glitch on their end and all was well. A few days later I got the confirmation email... saying I had to select the seats. WTF!?! I went BACK to the Cheap Ticket website and tried selecting again. After it wouldn't allow me I called for help. Again they said there was a computer glitch, they're oh so sorry... yada yada yada... all is set. Fast forward to Monday. I get my friendly reminder with some hints and tips... and an alert to tell me to pick our return seats. To say I flipped was an understatement. I huffed. I puffed. I searched through the bowels of my very being to find a way to talk to the customer service rep without using the words 'cow' or heifer'. Ten minutes into the call I was fighting back 'cunt' and 'son of a whore'. That's with being on hold for a seven and a half of it. Apparently Miss Customer Service Rep missed her bedside manner class. After quipping about 'If you read the instructions (biteme) it states that they will assign the seats' I pointed out that they assigned the first seats without a glitch. She came back with 'it's (airline name here)'s decision to assign the seats. They only look at our recommendations. I slammed her with, "So what you're saying is that I shouldn't even use Cheap Tickets because they are powerless to book the flight and I should go through the airlines directly. Is that about right?" Yeppers... I went right into bitch-mode. It's a rarity outside of PMS, which shows you how done I was with it all. With that she cow towed down and politely asked to put me on hold so she could call them and check. My 'go ahead' was the most I could muster up without cussing. I signed onto the airline website and searched for our plane. Two minutes later she cheerfully came back on the line to say all was well and we were assigned seats 14X and 14Y. I was so happy I could cry. I thanked the woman and hung up. I was about to close the browser and scrolled up to see our confirmed/locked in place/mineminemine seats. 12, 13, 17. *blink* No row 14. Oh Hell naw! My eye twitched. My fingers twitched. I was about to scream. Instead I called the airline and spoke to THEIR customer service rep. After laughing about my colorful description of Cheap Tickets and me asking if we were indeed flying on the plane's wings she confirmed that we were on row 13. I thanked her and offered her my first born (IE: used condom). She declined. I was about to call Cheap Tickets back to bitch them out but thought better of it. I'll wait till I get my happy ass back before heading down that dark road.