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Tuesday afternoon my coworkers approached me, asking for the pot luck signup sheet. After sifting through the papers on my desk one of them found it. I love how people just plop shit down without telling me. She realized I hadn't signed it yet and said, "You don't cook, right? How about bringing sodas?" I guess my vacant stare was a 'yes' to them and my name was written under 'drinks'. I swear one day I'm going to sign up for the main course and cook it. Then they'll feel my wrath. Fast forward to yesterday morning. I plopped the bottles on the seat with my purse and drove off. I was chatting with Jake on my cellphone (headset) while driving down the 405-S when my car started beeping. First it was a slow beep, but each one came a little faster. I panicked. ME: Fuck! I looked on my dashboard... nothing was flashing. I was driving eratically, trying to get to the off-ramp. By that time it was almost a continuous beep. I thought something was going to explode. Then it stopped. I looked over to see the passenger seat button flashing it's No Seatbelt light. Fucking shit. Then I hear muffled laughter. I almost got into a wreck because I didn't 'buckle up' two bottles of soda. Fucking car. I don't understand why people can't think past themselves. I walked to the car yesterday morning and noticed my neighbor had parked too far over again. There still seemed to be enough room until I opened the door. The side view mirrors clicked and left enough room for an anorexic midget to fit through. Maybe.... I tried everything. Short of cutting my tits off there was no way I was fitting through that slot. I decided to be swift and climb through the back door. As I shut the door and sat in the back seat like a child waiting for her mom to finish shopping the neighbor came down. I felt like such an ass. I tried climbing over the seat only to hook my foot underneath and fall forward. I slowly climbed BACK into the rear seat and yelled that I couldn't get through the front. I opened the door and it swung forward, hitting her new car. Shit. After babbling like a child I just closed the door and sat there... waiting for her to leave so I could regain some of my dignity and get into the front seat. Yeppers, a great way to start the day. On the bright side I pulled into the garage last night and noticed she left enough room for a circus elephant to get in. Today was a very blonde day for me. I was trying to get an .AVI video to work and Pos offered to look at it for me. I sent it to him and then got this: Pos: Diva What I did was send him the icon for the .AVI video. *sigh* Later on I was talking to Bane about how he was dealing with the impending Hurricane heading straight for him and tried to make him feel better. Diva: Did you get the tracking number for your birthday present that I sent? Yeah, I suck.... |
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