As some of my friends know, I have been going through a difficult time with Jake. All relationships have them and we're no different. Jake was going through a hard time and had some negative influences to help push him away. He made his choice and left. While I won't go into specifics, in the end it was the best choice. He needed to find himself and I needed that part of me back. The first night was hell. I cried and couldn't sleep. Then I went on his computer to scan a picture and ended up reading some logs between him and an ex friend. Let's just say she was less than kind about me. Those logs cemented my decision. Let him go. I wanted to be a friend. I wanted to stand by him as he found himself. If it happened, great. If not, I move on. My friends swooped in and I had a comfort zone of strength to help me through the tough week.

I made goals for myself. I bought my own XBox 360 and starting playing games. At first it was nauseating. The movement always did that to me. I tried playing Duke Nukem and almost puked, much to my one friend's delight. :p Lael came by on the weekend and we spent it buying games and playing them. He was so patient. I popped in Oblivion and had the most agreeable character. Always nodding. I spent more time looking at the ceiling and floor than moving. But then I got better. *grins* I starting meeting some cool people through XBox and I felt like I was getting back to being me again. Then the bastard had to call me asking to come back. :p At first it was not something I was sure I wanted. I love Jake and he's everything to me. But I had finally started to find a peacefulness I missed. He came over and we talked a lot. It would seem him moving away finally gave him the clarity that he needed to see what he wants. After a few more days of talking I held my breath and said yes. We've spent so much time together. Growing close, growing apart and just growing. Now we're together again and hopeful that we'll grow together.

This weekend we spent unpacking and messing around on the 360 while doing some house work in between. It was a great weekend to be lazy and just melt into each other. We set some goals on places to go, a budget to adhere to and started calling friends to let them know. Jake's mom gave him an earful, but it was because she was worried sick. Instead of fussing about it Jake smiled. She was glad he was back home and we were working things out.

To all of my wonderful friends who stood by me and gave me the support: I cannot thank you enough. I am truly grateful to each one of you. I found strength when I thought I had none. I appreciate the patience you showed me while I rattled off thoughts I needed to work out and advice when I didn't know which direction to go. Ultimately I thank you for giving me the ground back to walk on and standing beside me with whichever direction I chose to go. I love each one of you and feel so lucky to call you a friend.

And now... on to bigger and better things. Yay!

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