Oh G-d. These interviews are going to kill me. I feel like Murphy Brown and these applicants are the quirky assistants that she couldn't stand. Today's applicant showed up at the door wearing a pink sleeveless shirt, short skirt and sunglasses on the top of her head. Her hair... oh my. There were about three inches of root before the bright pink hit, which was not brushed and shoulder length. Her tongue was pink. Her face had piercings... all over. She topped it off with a thick Hannah Montana pen. Petty? Maybe. But who brings a big pen with a Disney character on it to an interview?

This interview was the polar opposite of the first one. She started off by apologizing because she had just had her braces tightened and wouldn't be able to talk much. HAH! By the end I had visions of large objects falling on her just to shut her up. She then spoke about her four kids and how she'd need to take off for them, etc... Each question she answered lasted ten minutes, complete with wild gestures and a constant clicking of her extra long nails. At one point she started talking about one job at the VA. Mr. Snoopy asked her about that and she got real emotional, going on about how badly they are treated, that they died so we have our freedoms (even though she was treated living people) and starting crying. That's right.... crying. In an interview. Awkwaaaard. Every question Mr. Snoopy asked made me want to smash his face in. I had had enough 15 minutes into the 45 minute interview. My phone rang and I literally flew out of my chair to get it. I didn't even care how obvious it looked. It was my boss. A few minutes of chit chat (that I was happy to drag out) and she asked me about the day. I mentioned that we were conducting an interview, then whispered "Thank......you" into the phone. She burst out laughing. We chatted some more before I had to slowly make my way back into hell. By this time Miss Motor Mouth was telling Mr. Snoopy how she preferred working alone. She then went on to talk about how she hated working with other people and how they tend to get into her business. Ten minutes later I was trying to wrap it up without wrapping a chair around her neck. Seriously... this woman brought up major violent impulses. After she left we went back to my office and just stared at each other, enjoying the momentary quiet. Then the laughter started. I don't care how bad it sounds. I laughed my ass off. She was sweet, nice and had a great personality. There's no way in hell she was going to work with me.

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