Sometimes a relationship hits a bump. Sometimes it hits a fucking wall. Right now I'm in the face-plant position and trying to get my wits. I've been lazy. I've been neglectful. I've been feeling depressed/jealous and not talking with Jake about it. This weekend it all came out and now we are at a point where I feel like I'm in a freefall. I don't know what's going to happen. All I know is the love of my life and the reason for living is hurting and I caused it. He admits his part of the neglect. But in the end it's not about pointing fingers and one upping each other. It's about working with what we have to either save it... or move on. Honestly I don't know how I'd survive. Hell, I don't know how I survived this weekend. It was like my world was pulled from under my feet and I was falling into some black pit of despair. I couldn't see which way was up and had no one to physically grab hold of to slow down the feelings.

The past four years I gave my heart, soul and life to someone and then took him for granted. I ate, slept, breathed him. But when it came down to really recognizing how much he meant to me I failed. Now I'm lost and don't know what to do. My reason for living is gone and I'm just trying to make it through the day. A friend said to look in the mirror and tell yourself "You will be okay". I tried and all I could say is... Don't jump.

Comments

if you f**king jump...i'll kill you

HUGE HUGS babe

I'm evidently a tad late with a response to this but ... please try to always recognize the positive aspects of your life while still "keeping it REAL." SO hard that can be sometimes!!!

Post a comment