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« April 2008 | Main | June 2008 » May 30, 2008You're So... KindAs you can see this week has been hell. Yesterday my boss took me and two of my coworkers to lunch. And by 'took' I mean walked with. The lunch was next door at the Hilton. We had the overpriced buffet. Who pays $17 for a VERY low end salad bar and lunch meat? We ate, talked and I made damn sure we weren't rushed through lunch. It was supposed to be for me, but it ended up being a 'lets hear about how wonderful OB is and all her thoughts on everything'. Whatever. It was her dime. I did get her back when it came to the gift time. She gave me an engraved lipstick holder (yeah, I know...). I opened up the box and she excitedly said, "Look at what it says!" I looked, smiled and said, "Oh! How nice! They spelled it wrong though." You should have seen her face. I waited a few seconds and turned to towards her, saying, "Just kidding...". Yes, I'm an ass. But she sooo deserved it. When the bill came she passed it to my coworkers telling them their portion. I didn't realize she wasn't paying. I felt so embarrassed. At least I got to take a breather from work. Today should be insane, but that's okay. It'll be over in about nine hours and I am going to decompose. The funny part? It really hasn't sunk in that I'm not coming back on Monday. Wish me luck!
[keywords: Work ob] May 27, 2008Shopping HellThis weekend went by so fast it was sick. Saturday I spent six hours at the mall. Again... SIX HOURS. I walked. I tried on clothes. I walked more. I... whined. In the end I managed to buy a few new outfits and enjoyed some bonding with a coworker. I think I would have bonded MUCH better over some drinks and cheesecake, but ya know. I'm still trying to work out the details of next week. And by 'work out' I mean find out what the hell I'm doing. I don't have a start time. I don't have a location. I don't have shit as far as information. So yeah, I'm a bit on edge. My OB came in today in the usual grumpy Monday mood with an added snarkiness to make the day even more fun. Luckily for me she's in a meeting til at least 11:30am. Then it's showtime. I'm going to have to show her how to do the reports and hope she doesn't bitch at me for my 'get it here' instructions. After all... she WAS the one that taught me everything I know. As if...
[keywords: Friends shopping] May 23, 2008Have a BallThis morning my OB had the usual meeting with the AAs. She talked about me leaving for a bit and mentioned that 'she taught me everything I know' and she'd be 'taking back reports' from me... as if she knew how to do them. So I spent the latter part of the day working on the big report instructions. You know, the one that goes to all the big wigs over the hospital. So far I've managed to simply list where she can get all the information. Fuck her if she thinks she knows all the data. She can figure out how to enter them into the Excel graphs embedded into Word without fucking up the whole thing. I'm not going to worry about it. She can kiss my VERY white ass if she thinks I'm that useless. 'Take them back'. HAH. Four more work days, man. Four more work days.
[keywords: Work ob] May 22, 2008Yeah... Because I'm INSANEI am still reeling from this morning. OB says, "Odessa, I got this weird email from NB telling me that your end date was going to have to be May 30th. Why did she send me that?" I told her that it was in response to her statement and she said, "I didn't say you were staying longer. You asked ME if you could." I blinked. I dropped my jaw. I let out a high screechy "WHAT!?!" that made dogs cringe. She insisted I was the one that asked to stay longer. Oh sure. Because I WANT to stay in a job with a boss that's psychotic. We went back and forth for over twenty minutes. Each refusing to back down. She said I started it by asking if I could stay. I countered with a "Did not!" and she said that why did I mention the end date? "Because Ann wanted to confirm and I asked you as a courtesy. Because YOU said you may need me longer." Yeah, I hate this job so hard right now. Later on our IT guy got a dose of Creepy IT Chick to boot. He sat to use my computer while I went to cool off and I came back to her talking some sort of shit about me. He was NOT happy. He finally snapped at her that he makes the IT decisions for our department and that some sort of freeware would NOT be installed. I found out later she was telling him to install some sort of freeware so OB could screen capture easier. She walked out of my cubicle huffing and making smart remarks. I tried to calm him down (and he's usually unflappable). I waved the three hole puncher in front of him and said, "Look what I've got. Need anything punched?" He said in a REALLY loud voice, "Yeah, HER!" Awwwwkward. But funny. Really funny.
[keywords: Work Creepy_IT_Chick ob] May 21, 2008My New Boss RocksI called my new boss this morning and explained the situation regarding my email and my OB's misinformation. She asked if I was ready to get out of there. Heh. I said yes, but I wanted to make sure it was okay on her end. She's the one that has to continue to work with my OB and I didn't want to cause any friction. She said she'd talk to her boss and let me know what they decided. I understand them needing to be diplomatic to an extent. They still have to work together in certain areas, etc... I love her response to my OB saying that she hasn't even posted my position. "That's her fault." Awesomeness. Pure awesomeness. The bottom line is she's going to discuss it with my other boss and their boss to make a decision. At the most my last day will be June 7th. My NB also said she was hoping I'd be able to take some time off before starting my new job. I said, "I wish!" and she said she'll see what they can do. OMG. I am going to love this job so hard.
[keywords: Work bosses] May 20, 2008*Delete ALL*My finger is on the delete button and I am so tempted to wipe out everything. Information sent to me that I'd normally save is looked at with a quiet chuckle and a 'won't be needing this' whisper before being round filed. Issues and complaints are met with a 'do you reeeeaaally think I care' look until said person gets the hint and walks away. Extra job duties? HAH! Seriously... HAH! Statements like 'We're totally screwed' are met with a knowing glance and ever so slight smirk. Sometimes I even throw in an occasional 'yeppers' before nodding and turning to continue with my report instructions. Yesterday's last minute head game set me into 'fuck you all' overdrive. Don't get me wrong. I love my friends here and will miss them dearly. But the work? Yeah, just like I'd miss dental appointments, mammograms and pap smears.
[keywords: Work] May 19, 2008Last Stand at the UCLA CorralThis morning my OB (old boss) decided to fuck up my mellow. My new boss emailed me to confirm the start date for my new position. I asked my OB and she said, "Tell her I haven't even posted the job yet and want to know when she need me by. The longer she stays with me the better". Then she stood over me to make sure I typed it in verbatim. I wanted to scream. The worst part is that I can't even say shit about it. Since I'm transferring within the same hospital it's up to the managers to duke it out. What's worse is I can't even say anything because it wouldn't be appropriate to bad mouth my OB to my NB. Since my NB is off for a few days I won't even know the outcome until then. So yeah. I am not a happy camper. Later on in the day she sent an email saying that I should no longer be handling any business related calls and if someone calls me I need to forward them to her and let them know I am leaving so she can delegate who will take over the task. A minute later she emailed me to do a report for her. Do you know how hard it was not to forward the email to her and say it needs to be delegated?
[keywords: Work stress] May 15, 2008Creepy LiesThe Creepy IT Chick tried to pull yet another fast one. Instead of saying she forgot something in her Macros she claimed my old boss claimed that was the way she was told to do it. Of course I was in the same meeting... so I knew that was total bullshit. When I tried to explain how it SHOULD be done, she started shaking her head like a two year old having a fit, as if I was in the wrong. Yeah, because we WANT our numbers to be incorrect. Oy. I pulled her confused ass into my OB's office faster than you can say 'you're full of shit' and left it to her to decide. CITC is really good at fast talk and OB was half a nod away from agreeing with her when I jumped in. I had to draw diagrams, print data and a fucking legend before OB realized that I was correct and CITC was out of her fucking mind. Again. My favorite part was after I went to great pains to not do the 'you said' line and stated 'I believe it's CITC's understanding that...' and when I asked if that sounded about right she replied (looking at OB), 'Yes. It was my und... I mean YOU told me to do this...' All class. All class. In the end I was right, she was wrong and I have yet to get my Monthly reports finished. I can tell that she wasn't thrilled about me yanking her ass into OB's office. Just wait until OB expects something from her and I'm not here to buffer. She won't be able to fast talk her way out of that one with all the caffeine, cocaine and meth in the world.
[keywords: Work Creepy_IT_Chick] May 14, 2008Not a Damn ThingThis morning was fun. Again... My OB (old boss) was in rare form, jumping down everyone's throat and freaking out about stupid shit. Then we met (again) about my duties. This time she pulled another staff member in to give the news of what duties they would be taking over. After the usual list she started talking about how everyone needs to learn more Excel, that it will help them in their career, blah blah blah... Whatever. Then she added, "When Odessa started she didn't know anything." Uhh.... Excuse me? WTF!?! While I wasn't the Master Chart Maker or Quick Draw McFormulas... I DID know Excel. I corrected her and she back stepped... adding how much more I've learned. Cow... Anyway, the person taking over mentioned to me about how she should get a raise for 'taking over all my duties'. Because I'm leaving and don't give a fuck I snapped back, "All of them? Please. You're not even getting a portion. But if you feel that way then by all means... ask for one." That shut her up. Considering most of the duties she got are really something she should have been doing from the start... yeah, no tears from this cubicle.
[keywords: Work coworkers] May 13, 2008Wait... I'm Training WHO?Oh yes, this will be fun. And by 'fun' I mean ripping out my spleen and having it shoved down my throat. My old boss has decided that she's going to take her time to get a replacement. Instead, she's having me train the nurses (Read: NO Word/Excel background) and her on my duties. Weeee! Are you sick of me bitching about it yet? Tough shit. Anyway, I now have to write instructions like it's an Admin Assistants for Dummies book and pray that it passes enough to not have to rewrite a gazillion times. On the positive side... this may mean I won't have to stay at this position any longer than my thirty days since she's not going to have me train a replacement. *crosses fingers, eyes and toes*
[keywords: Work] May 12, 2008Revisiting the 80sOur new temp has this... laugh. At first I couldn't place it. I know it was slightly annoying and slightly creepy. But it was also familiar. Friday morning it hit me. Duran Duran's Nowhere Girl. There's creepy forced laughter in the beginning of the song. It's EXACTLY how she sounds. I keep waiting for the echo and the bad hairdo to cue in after each breath. I don't think the laugh would bother me as much if it didn't sound so... forced. I understand that trying to fit in when you're a temp is tough, but fake laughter seems to push people away. Every time she laughs I can see 'Oh G-d, make her stop' expressions on the faces of my coworkers. I could be evil and tell her a really, really obnoxious joke and then leave the office... but I don't want to spend the last days at my job picking Temp flesh off of my desk. Not to mention I would totally lose any chance of a going away party. Fuck that shit. I'll have my party yet. *flips off lazy coworker*
[keywords: Work coworkers] May 09, 2008What a CowYesterday was trying to say the least. The lazy coworker decides to once again play the 'my phone went on Make Busy (meaning no calls can go through) on it's own'. After running some reports on the phone software I spoke with the phone IT guy who felt it wasn't a phone issue, but her placing herself on MB. To test this he asked if we could switch phones with someone who wasn't having that issue (namely anyone else). I offered to switch and went to tell my 'old' boss. She was in a pissy mood and snapped that she "Just wanted the reports. That's all. JUST the reports." I stomped out, grabbed the reports and put them on her desk. She countered my stomping by snatching the reports up and slapping them down in front of her. I attempted to explain the report, with her interrupting and saying "I underSTAND that' every other sentence. She then said it three times in a row and said she simply wanted "C" to explain why the phone went on MB. She even added, "I was there when it happened". When I responded with, "You were THERE? You were standing IN HER OFFICE and saw it go to MB?" Then she clarified in the most pissy voice she could that she called her and couldn't reach her because it was on MB. I wanted to scream. The answer she wanted would be impossible to give without having a video camera pointing in the cubicle at that very moment. Reports can only go so far. But of course she already knew that. Twit. I stormed out of the office, slowing down just long enough to yell out, "C, will you explain the reports to 'old boss'?". I didn't even wait for an answer. I went over to her boss's assistant. You know, the 'real' assistant. I blew off steam for a bit. She told me she couldn't believe I lasted so long. She's right. I have no idea why I stayed here this long. Yesterday's little fit was just a sampling of what I've been dealing with. Years of rude and inappropriate behavior. Every time she simply shrugs it off with a 'you know how I am' attitude. As if that makes it okay. It's my fault for allowing it to continue. I fully accept that. But I'll be damned if that behavior is going to fly with the next assistant, no matter HOW much they need the job. Minor annoyance: My old boss gives me an exit review. I wasn't thrilled to hear about THAT. So much for me storming back into her office and telling her off. *sigh* So now I wait for another three weeks before finding out if my last day is on the 30th or not. This weekend I'm going into hibernating.
[keywords: Work stress old-boss] *Flicks*So I was driving to work behind some POS Nissan Sentra who couldn't seem to gain enough speed to go faster than 58 mph... in the fast lane. I coped pretty damn well under the circumstances. After muttering to myself I started imagining myself in a very large Monster truck, simply stepping on the gas and smooshing his slow-assed car to bits. All that was left was a tiny square bouncing off of the freeway while his screaming face peers out (Okay, so the truck is also a trash compactor). Then I took a deep breath and simply imagined a giant boxing glove popping out from my car and gently hurling the car forward. My random daydreaming went on for a while, until the idiot decided to slam on their brakes when traffic approached. And by 'approached' I mean about half a mile away. We're not even talking stopped traffic either. A few brake lights, followed by steadily moving traffic. After yelling out a few "WTF!"s I imagined the hand of G-d simply coming down and flicking him off the face of the Earth. Because He'd totally do that. I am one of the Chosen People after all. *looks up and smiles meekly* Let's just hope He has a good sense of humor.
[keywords: traffic driving randomness] May 08, 2008You Have GOT to be Kidding MeSo one of my coworkers wants to apply for my position. She's a good worker... when she wants to be. But *most* of the time she talks to her family members either on the phone or when they stop by her desk and chat for twenty minutes. She's also the one that is easily swayed with gossip and bullies other employees. All those are doable... considering my boss would ride her like a Stallion and break her into a pony. The part that *really* bugs the shit out of me is that she has NO experience with Word, Excel, Access or PowerPoint. I've tried to show her things from time to time and she would have none of it. To be fair... none of them would. Why learn something when I could do it? The worst part is she's had to use Excel in the past. The other day she asked me about the position and I said it was report heavy. Her response, "Well you didn't know it when you started, right?" WTF!?! Why does everyone think I was a total moron when I started at my position. The *only* thing I wasn't used to doing was graphs. Even then I had done some. And when I was hired we had one or two major reports a month. Now I have a total of 32 reports to do every day. That's before I update all my weekly, monthly and quarterly reports. Then there are the reports I'm asked to do on the fly. considering she didn't know how to add a column or make a title, her learning curve is straight up. I don't mind teaching someone my duties... but I'll be damned if I'm going to teach them how to use the programs. Fuck that.
[keywords: Work coworkers] May 06, 2008Way To Go... TwitThe twit, by the way, is me. After consulting with the letter G-ds (Cat and Jake) I finalized my official farewell letter and sent it off to let everyone know I was out of here. First glitch was the group email. Basically... It was wrong. After resending it the next morning Jake IMs me about the email forward I left. the first draft of the farewell email was a sample I found on the web. I deleted, changed and sent to Cat for review. What I didn't realize is the email linked part of the address from the sample, which wasn't even close to my work address. After pondering the idea of getting the email address I decided to recall the email and replace with a new one. I was halfway there and accidentally clicked off of the new email. Instead of canceling the recall it simply deleted without any replacement. That meant I had to see which of the twenty to thirty people opened the email before resending. FINALLY I resent the email to everyone and the responses started flowing in. Some had already heard through the gossip vine. Others were shocked but tickled pink that I was finally getting away from my boss. All wished me well and said they'd probably still be working with me in some form or fashion. Lovely... it's like a bad penny. One coworker saw the failed recall email (I hate that it shows that) and asked if that meant I wasn't leaving. I refrained from saying, "Not very fucking likely" and simply explained it was to try and correct an email error. Whatever. Later on in the day I was told I needed to train one of the nurses to do my daily reports. I went through and counted how many different reports I did and it ended up being twenty seven. I thought the nurse was going to faint. I have yet to write out how to do the major report... and am not looking forward to it. Try explaining how to change Excel graphs imbedded into a Word document to someone who doesn't know how to change Margins. It's one thing to show someone how to do this when they understand Word and Excel... but I'll be damned if I'm going to teach someone the basics of a program so they'll fuck up the document and blame me for not teaching them right. Since I worked so hard (Read: forwarded to Cat and Jake) on my farewell email that I thought I'd post it here for posterity. Hello Everyone, In other words: Laterz! LOL!
[keywords: Work coworkers blonde-moment] May 05, 2008*Whisper Whisper Whisper*I don't know why, but I keep feeling like I have to whisper about my new job. I should be standing on my chair and shouting it to the heavens... but instead I've been pulling people aside and quietly letting them know. Part of me doesn't want to rub it in too much. There's going to be some problems right after I go... especially with those who never managed to get their work done and I picked up the slack (without telling the boss). Why start another fight that will end up being my fault? I'd rather just get the job done and have my reports ready on time. A quick fix that ultimately created a lazy attitude. I'm sure I'll be more vocal about my job as it nears. Right now I have to get my ass in gear and update report instructions, create other report instructions, and basically deal with my boss trying to follow the instructions. Yeah, that's going to be fun. NOT.
[keywords: Work new-job] May 01, 2008I GOT THE JOBOr... as I sent to everyone on AIM: "I GOT THE FUCKING JOB!!!!!!! OMG!" I spent the day fretting about what to do. I haven't heard from the people who interviewed me and I was torn between contacting them or waiting. Half of my friends said to do it, the other half said to wait. After some goading from the 'DO IT' camp I shot off an email and held my breath. Within a minute the phone rang. They offered me the job and said they'd work with my boss on the end date. Formally it's one month. But they would understand if she needed me a bit longer. I agreed and we joked around a bit. I couldn't tell you anything she said after that. All I kept thinking was that they wanted me and I'm finally out of here. FINALLY. Now to write a formal resignation letter that doesn't have the words "Fuck you" anywhere in them. It's tougher than I thought...
[keywords: Work new-job YAY] |
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