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« February 2008 | Main | April 2008 » March 31, 2008The End of the Tunnel... or a Train?I was talking to a manager about a case the other day and they complimented me about how helpful I was. I quipped "Hire me" and they said they'd love to. I said I was serious and they said, "So am I". With that I floated through the day. The next day we spoke again and they mentioned having a few positions in mind but needing to run it past the director first. I didn't push. If it happens it will be great. If not, it was a glimpse into what I need to do to get out of my current position. I need to start now. I need clothes. I need to start exercising more. I need to start feeling better about my situation. I need to come to work when on death's doorstep so I can accumulate some sick time and not have a bad looking record. I was honest about my work situation and that I was not looking for anything in particular. I really do enjoy my job. I like *most of* the people I work with and tolerate those that annoy me. Even my boss, for all her faults, isn't the worst I've had. She's gotten a LOT better. The biggest downfall I see is that she refuses to acknowledge that she's done a good job and has some wiggle room to ask for things. She still jumps and asks is this high enough when anyone looks her way and never tells people to back off. It's sad really. She's more interested in getting the approval of people who have nothing to do with her job than making the people who work for her happy. I am not looking for a new job to get away from her. She's manageable. But I'd rather be in a position where I was appreciated more and the duties weren't expected on a whim. I don't even have a job description... but if I did it would have one word on it: Peon.
[keywords: Work boss ucla] March 28, 2008This Day SucksWe're the only office officially open for the Admin Holiday. This means we get all the 'I'm trying to make an appointment at the clinic but they're closed' calls. As if we can do anything but say, "Yes, they are closed. You'll have to call back on Monday." Then listen to them whine and bitch and moan about how they want to make their appointment NOW. I'm in a "Fuck off" mood, so it has not been pleasant. Meanwhile the pot luck party is in full swing and I have been keeping a VERY low profile so I'm not bombarded with comments. I couldn't pay so I'm not going to just mooch. I even had a coworker call in sick and say, "The drinks I brought are your donation. So now you can go!" I respectfully declined and felt about an inch high. Just leave me alone to my food that I brought and eat your damn pot luck! *grumbles*
[keywords: Work coworkers] March 27, 2008I Has Veggies!Some times it just doesn't pay to be a dork. I decided to play with my food this morning (because I'm giddy from caffeine and my boss isn't coming in) and snapped this random photo.Yes, I am a sexy bitch. What you don't see is the lady who sits next to me standing up and seeing me in all my broccoli glory. Yet another classic moment I'll never live down. For some reason being a complete idiot on the internet isn't the same as in real life. Online it's some sort of expectation. The sillier the better. Of course once you cross over into the 'shamed' line you can never go back. That fine line between 'LOL U R teh FUNNAY!' and 'OMFG! What a LOSER!'. So far I've only skirted around the 'Heh' area. Nothing too humorous, but not too bad either. I've gotten a few 'LOL's, but not enough to be 'teh FUNNAY', which is fine by me. Jake is 'Teh FUNNAY' and it's a rough place to be. Once you get there you're expected to always be 'Teh FUNNAY'. I'll happily settle for the 'Heh' and 'Dork!' status. No expectations and enough positive feedback to keep me happy. *looks over at coworker* Meanwhile my offline antics are giving me some sort of 'You're so crazy' title I'm not sure I want to deal with. Not the same expectations as 'Teh FUNNAY', but easier to slip into the 'OMG! She's REALLY crazy'. Ahhh, the titles we all wear. *sips coffee*
[keywords: Work Flickr dork] March 26, 2008Space CaseI seem to have lost my train of thought. I've spent the day correcting a simple spreadsheet no less than seven times. The corrections are stupid shit that I totally should have caught. Like putting the wrong dates. THREE times. My boss finally put her head on the table and just gave up. I'm sure part of it is that I need my monthly vitamin B12. That's the thing with having my surgery. You can't slide on the vitamins. I have to do some major reports and simply don't have the ability to concentrate. Not good. Sooooo not good. In other news we learned about a coworker that was let go with the other Britney snoopers. She was given the option of retiring or having her ass fired. She retired. I like the gal but think they should have fired her ass just like everyone else who violated HIPAA to peek into the life of someone in the entertainment business. I don't care WHAT they do for a living or what kind of person they are personally. Everyone deserves privacy. Everyone. You violate their privacy, you get shitcanned. End of story. I don't care what you are. Janitor, doctor, administrator. Same fate for the same offense. It doesn't matter what they saw, either. They still went into the records with the intent to view private documents. With the amount of emails that we received about HIPAA and the consequences for violating patient privacy anyone who went ahead and did it was a complete moron and doesn't need to be dealing with patient care.
[keywords: Work coworkers hipaa] March 25, 2008Party PooperWe're supposed to have a potluck this Friday and guess who isn't joining in. Yeppers... You guessed it. Moi. With three days of no pay I am just barely making it and don't have enough to fork out for anything extra. Ironically it's supposed to be a general potluck/birthday celebration for the April birthdays (which means me). Personally I could give a rats ass about it, especially after the decision to make people bring their own cake was decided. Of course this little party was planned up by my boss since it's her 50th, which still makes the whole decision a load of crap. Everyone brings their own cake if they want to celebrate... except for mine. Yeah, real class. I haven't even bothered to tell them. I figure when they ask I'll let them know. I'm just so done with this place lately it's beyond silly. Stupid rules, stupid peole and the person who gets the shaft has been me. Anyway, enough bitching and moaning and whining and griping. I have chocolate. Any day is a good day when there's enough chocolate around.
[keywords: Work coworkers] March 24, 2008Remembering TrixiI remember when I first saw her. I had come into the vet after losing Trouble to Pancreatic Cancer. I don't even remember why I was there. One of the doctors remembered me from visiting hours (I was there until they kicked me out every night he was hospitalized) and asked about Luigi, my other cat. I told her how he was lonely and needy... and I was trying to deal with the loss. I talked about him (big black cat who has a stump for a tail after a fan accident) and she said there was the perfect playmate for him right upstairs. There was a black and white kitten that a doctor had found who was born with half a tail. At first I said no. I wasn't ready. She talked me into just seeing the kitten. A few minutes later a guy walked out with a bad ass kitten perched on his shoulder. He introduced the cat as 'Tough Guy' and told me about how he'd hang out on people's shoulders as they walked around. I pointed out that *he* was a *she* and the guy got embarrassed. "That's one bad assed little girl then!" he said. And with that she hopped into my lap and home we went.Trixi and Luigi had a rough beginning. She was 9 pounds of attitude and he was 20 pounds of wimp. This led to many chases with her swiping at his butt while he screamed as if she was an axe murderer and me close behind swiping at her butt with a broom. She finally got spayed and calmed down some. Three years later Ginger was given to me as a present and the household was full of cats. A year after that Luigi died of squamous cell carcinoma. Trixi and Ginger bonded and all was well. In 2003 Jake moved in and the cats loved him. I mean loved him. I was chopped liver compared to him. Between the two of us they were spoiled beyond rotten. Ginger became ill in 2006 and died from Chronic Renal Failure. She was only seven. Trixi went into mourning. She was super needy and even gained weight. On the advice of a rescuer we got two kittens. She said getting two would help Trixi to adjust. The kittens would play with each other and Trixi would get used to having them around. The plan worked perfectly. Trixi went from mini hissing to even batting them around. For the most part she either slept next to me at the computer or next to Jake as he played video games and left the kittens to romp around on their own. She slept with the kittens and once again relaxed. The last year of her life was good. She had siblings and parents who loved her. She bonded with our friends Mark and Cat. She was content. On Friday we took her to the vet and sat with her for a while beforehand. They have a quiet room with comfortable furniture to sit on and spend some time. Trixi sat between us and even purred. She was in pain but still knew she was with people who loved her. I felt guilty. I felt horrible. But I knew it was the best way. No more pain. No more suffering. They made the experience as comfortable as possible. In the end I cried harder than I can remember. My baby was gone and all I could do was hold her body. We spent the weekend spoiling the two cats and just being numb. I ache. I kept looking for her. Now all I have are memories. And now... so do you.
[keywords: Cats memories Trixi] March 21, 2008*Sigh*Last night Jake and I came home to cat pee on the carpet by the litter box and Trixi sitting in the middle of the room howling. We grabbed her and headed straight for the vet. A really nice doctor did an examination and spoke of chronic renal failure, hyperthyroidism and cancer. My head was swimming in all the possibilities and we went home and waited for the test results to come back. This morning I got the call. The tests pointed towards cancer and two more tests were needed. I opted for the bone marrow aspiration which would definitely rule out or confirm the cancer. Now I'm sitting at work and thinking about her procedure tomorrow and words like 'Multiple Myeloma' and 'six to seven months lifespan' are fading in and out of any conversation I have. I want to be home, but there's nothing I can do. All we can do is sit and wait and look at our options. The money is steep and the decisions are steeper. Quality of life is what's important to me. If it means six or seven months of pain and suffering I won't put her through that. I held onto my first two cats until they were almost limp. It was too long. I held on to them for me. *I* wasn't ready to let them go. Now I understand that it's not about me. It's about them and their physical state. I love Trixi to death but I'm not going to put her through months of needles and medications and nausea just so I can see her wither away.
[keywords: Cats vet Trixi] March 20, 2008You Owe Me.... NothingRemember that thread on the Sim site that I was bitching about? Of course you do. Anyway, it was FINALLY locked, but not without a parting shot by the moderator. His statement was basically the forum it was posted in was for bitching... so don't complain if someone bitches and that the guy did something wrong and no one has the right to judge him for admitting it. He's partly right. No one should judge anyone. Not on that forum or in life. No one's perfect and the whole situation was sordid. I think the only issue people had was that he was publicly lying about it ever happening... and for the most part slapping the woman he was practically fucking on the board in the face. A woman who was adored by almost everyone there. In the end he didn't owe it to anyone accept for her. He could tell me that he's a three foot tall Gremlin that loves wearing frilly pink tutus with bee wings stapled onto the back and I'd just nod and move on. At the end of the day he has to look at himself in the mirror and see who he really is. A fucker... Not that I care. *innocent look*
[keywords: drama Sims2] March 19, 2008Religion and Me....Let's try this again, shall we? I tried discussing this on the main site and became THOROUGHLY frustrated. Part of which is my PMS. The other part is that I just wanted to talk about something that was on my mind. You know... ON MY FUCKING BOARD. Yeah, so anyway... Religion has always been a touchy subject for people. Most are happy with their (non) beliefs and have no interest in discussing anything that may rock the boat. Anytime I try discussing religion it's from a Jewish standpoint which immediately puts people on the defensive. I guess I can respect that... even though it's not my intention. I love to learn about other religions. Other lifestyles. Other everything. I want to understand where someone is coming from. It's easier to walk in someone's shoes for a mile if you actually know what they look like. I miss my one friend at work who used to discuss religion with me. That's all I had. ONE person who felt comfortable enough in their religion (Catholic) to discuss it as a whole. Now the people I know are either agnostic or atheist. Any discussion is slapped with a 'that's why I don't believe' answer. Sometimes I want MORE than that. I want to understand. The preacher guy from Obama's camp made some statements that seem very unbecoming of a preacher. While I understand that we are human, he is supposed to be able to guide people. That's his job... moral guidance. How can you guide someone with blasphemy and racial dividing? How can you teach about higher powers when your statements are about what consumes you on earth? Wright isn't the only one. Hell, his statements are mild compared to some of the other people. Fallwell blames homosexuality for 9/11. He preaches like G-d has some special place in his heart for America. Again, they seem to think G-d blessed our borders personally and the rest of the world can go fuck off. Just because man placed the word "G-d" on their currency doesn't mean we own him. Once again I'm sitting in a place where I have questions with no answers. No explanations. No condemnations. The only thing I have is frustration from sharing a personal thought. Religion shouldn't be a scary thing to discuss on it's points. It shouldn't be a war causing, enemy making, blood spilling conversation. Should it?
[keywords: nct pms religion grumpy ranty] March 18, 2008Oh That's Just Great....Creepy IT chick strikes again. After offering up the world she comes through with Jersey. I've been waiting to finalize a major report for four days. She was supposed to run a Macro that gave me all these wonderful numbers. They gave me numbers all right... just the wrong ones. I spent all this time trying to just get everything else ready so I just had to insert the last part and it was for nothing. First my boss changes two parts of my report (four more reports instead of two). Then she says she only wanted ONE part changed. She gives me three days to finalize it and on the fourth (when it was due) I was still waiting on the numbers. Here's the kicker. I said I could redo a years worth of data to make the report look nice. CITC said no problem. Then at 4:45pm yesterday (you know... when I usually leave) she announces the data WON'T be the same because we changed how we gave it to her a few months back. WTF!?!?! If she told me this I could have either sent her the updated data or at least finalized the fucking report. So here I am, busting ass to redo the last section while my boss is bitching at me. I also told her which sections she'd have to work on HOURS before so it would be finalized when I entered my info. Did she do anything? Of course not! Instead she sat there fuming at 5:08am as I packed my shit up and walked out the door. I'll be damned if I'm going to stay over to listen to her bitch about why SHE didn't do her info. Today she seemed okay with it, although she managed to twist around how it was my fault for Mary not notifying me about the data change. This from a woman who can't keep a fucking email that was sent to her FIVE seconds prior.
[keywords: Work boss reports creepy-it-chick] March 17, 2008*Grunts and Drags Knuckles*This morning was... fun. I pull up to the first stop sign, do my stop and a woman tries to glide through on my right and go in front of me. I'll have none of that! I turn in front and she's stuck behind me. Whatever. I get to the light, turn right and go on my merry way. I decide to change lanes and see a car flying down the street in said lane. I turn into it anyway (plenty of room for them to slow the fuck down) and it ends up being the same twit. Whatever. I am at the street before turning onto the freeway, which is the usual clusterfuck, and she decides to cut someone off in the next lane and honk at me as she drives by... and then stops. In traffic. Guess what happens next. You betcha. My lane pulls forward and we're side by side. So of course I roll my window down, wave my arm at her and scream, "You wanna say something, bitch!?! You wanna say something.... BITCH!?!" Yeah, one of my finer AND CLASSIER moments I'm sure. She stares forward like a fucking pez dispenser and only slightly waves her hand (not quite a flip off, which is lame) as she drives off. Considering she drives three blocks from my house I'm sure we'll see each other again. Stupid cow. Who gets into bitch fights with random neighbors? Again... stupid cow. If you'll excuse me I have to drag my knuckles up to the keyboard and act civilized again.
[keywords: traffic ranty stupid-people-tricks] March 14, 2008Tired.... But SmilingAfter looking at this picture its a wonder I managed to get to work. Between the time change, the medications and the lingering illness I am seriously dragging my ass. I couldn't even open my eyes until the third try. Yay for Flickr and it's easy uploading options.This weekend is going to be spent fucking around and NOT thinking about work. I also plan on sleeping in... which means my cats will be on death watch if the even so much as peep at me. Phoebe had decided that 2am is a great time to get some late night lovin. Considering Jake doesn't even get that, I'll be damned if I'm going to pay attention to a cat. First order of business is to get a new squirt bottle for the bedroom. Pronto. If I even hear a peep I'm aiming and firing in that general direction. Expect stories of wet cats and early morning mop ups in the near future. If that doesn't work I'm buying a Super Soaker. My boss finally arrived at work at around 11am, still sick but on the mend. I can't believe she's even attempting to come in... especially how sick she was. She also managed to forget her keys and asked to borrow mine. "Okay, only if you wash them off afterwards." It's the little things that make my life enjoyable these days. I had to practically pinch myself so I didn't smirk while saying that.
[keywords: Health Work Flickr] March 13, 2008You Ditzy CowHere's the latest scoop on my ever dramatic life in the cubicles of hell that we call work. The lazy cow who pitched a fit about buying a cake for my friend and coworker? Yeah, she's spear heading a pot luck birthday for my boss, another coworker and yours truly. I fucking kid you not. I am beyond chaffed about this. I got the email and practically yelled out "fuck you" before deleting it. My friend intercommed me to express her extreme displeasure about this whole ordeal (IE: It fucking sucks). Personally I'd rather give them the finger and just stick to celebrating my birthday privately. I'll probably get my SARS carrying boss something since its a special birthday... maybe a rhinestone mask.
[keywords: Work coworkers] March 12, 2008*Looks for Mask*I am so angry right now I could just spit. *spits* My boss has decided to come in today after a meeting and asked me to help make a doctor's appointment for her. The reason? She's coughing up green (IE CONTAGEOUS) and needs antibiotics. The idea that she's even in a meeting infecting people is beyond rude. But to tell me she's going to be coming her and bringing her germs in when my resistance is already low is just beyond... words. I want to tell her to stay away. I want to tell her to keep her infectious ass home and have some fucking respect for all the people around her. I don't even have a mask or some Lysol to spray around me. If I get sick again it's going to be Workman's Comp... Fucking cow.
[keywords: Work boss] March 11, 2008*Braces for Karma*I am gloating. It's a bad BAD thing to do... but I just can't help it. My boss called in sick today and she sounds bad. Like she's suffering. Like... she has the same shit that knocked me on my ass. I can't even pinch an ounce of pity for her either. All I can do is just sit here with a smirk on my face and think, "It's about fucking time". Before you shake your head... I spent last night driving home and until I went to sleep in tears. Because of the recent car lawsuit (to be explained later) and other issues I've been pretty tight on finances. To the bone, so to speak. So this illness couldn't have come at a worse time. The last three days I was out it was without pay. My boss *could* okay my use of vacation time, but it's her choice. She chose not to. I have worked my ass off for her, staying after hours and working from home. She has called me on my days off and generally just been a bitch to me. Still... I've supported her. So her telling me 'I have to find out from HR' and then holding off on telling me until the end of the day (knowing I'd be upset) really put a bad taste in my mouth. She knows my financial situation. It's not because I've spent money on bullshit things. Now I'm weighing my options on how to get by until my taxes come in. The part that angers me the most is she made some sort of third person decision. "THEY said I had to stick to policy". Fuck you. I know the policy. It's the supervisor's discretion. So now Karma slapped her for being such a cow to me and my gloating pretty much means I need to do some serious good deeds to not get hit again. Does buying Girlscout cookies from little girls pass as a good deed?
[keywords: Life Work karma boss] March 10, 2008Oh Hell to the No....My boss is at work... sick. Not even just a little sick, either. She's coughing up a storm and not even covering her mouth. the ignorance astounds me. How someone who has been a nurse for almost thirty years can think that sitting in an office somehow makes everyone immune from your illness. I've been wearing long sleeves to I don't have to touch doors and doorknobs. The ventilation system sucks ass so that's the first issue. We're all breathing the same air. someone coughs on the far right and it comes right over to our side. Right now I have zero sick time and am sweating bullets. I was out for three days without pay and my boss hasn't said anything so I guess I'm humped this next paycheck. I don't even want to risk going in there to ask her if I can use my vacation... especially since she's 'in a mood'. Add to that that she's been talking about retiring more and more... I'm so screwed if she does. Showing 20 years experience means dick when you don't have any sick time to show for it. If my leg gets chopped off I'm going to wrap it in an ace bandage and hop my way into work.
[keywords: Health Work stress boss] March 07, 2008Oh Bite Me...Yeah, so the lazy coworker managed to fuck up any future birthdays. They took a vote (at her insistance) and now if you want to celebrate your birthday you bring your own cake. Give me a fucking break. I always looked forward to having that done by someone. I don't have family and most of my friends aren't local. In short... It's the only time I really have a group of people sing happy birthday to me. I'll be damned if I'm going to buy a fucking cake for myself and bring it to work. That's just sad. My boss knew it was going to piss me off, so she didn't even include me in the vote. She told me as she had one foot in the other direction, ready to bolt. G-d forbid I should have a different fucking opinion. She can kiss my ass if she thinks I'm buying cake for people to eat just to get a happy birthday sung to me. And I'll be damned if I do anything for that cow that decided to bitch about the birthday celebrations.
[keywords: Work coworkers ranty] March 06, 2008WhinyI have to apologize to all my friends for my current emotional state. I'm whiny. We're talking MAJOR whines... Between feeling like shit, not being able to do anything and not being able to accomplish anything I'm in a sort of a funk that is a bitch to get out of. My sinus/ear infection has made it so I can't even concentrate enough to read or play my games. It's also brought on some sort of emotional kamakaze to start things I'm not capable of finishing and then throwing myself at the feet of whomever is unlucky enough to be there and pitching a fit worthy of a two year old in a candy store. I DO appreciate how much patience and compassion my friends have shown me. I DO appreciate the Sims meshes that were created for me. I DO appreciate friends showing up on :nct: and supporting the site. I'm tickled to death to see the newest member, a great guy that usually sticks to comments on my blog. Most of all, I appreciate not being tarred and feathered for being a complete whiny ass about anything and everything. My sinus infection is MUCH better. My ear infection hurts like a sonofabitch, but is still not bad enough to ask for pain killers. I'm just glad I'm finally back at work and being productive. Again, thanks to all my friends. Odessa
[keywords: Health ranty whiny] March 03, 2008You've GOT to be Kidding MeI finally went to the doctors today and he gave me the results. Massive sinus infection AND ear infection. So now I'm taking three types of medications (including Penicillin) to try and get rid of this. I'm miserable, nauseous, light headed and DO NOT want to deal with anything. That being said I was in the store waiting for my prescription to be filled and I hear this constant beeping sound. I turn around and some woman put her child in one of those grocery carts in the shape of a race car so the little rugrats can feel like their driving while you shop. Whatever moron thought it would be a *cute* idea to add a horn should be taken out back and beaten. Daily... Anyway, after a minute or so of this kid banging on the horn every two seconds I flash a look to the oblivious mother. She smiles and says, "He's four. It's cute!" I scowl and say, "Maybe now. In fourteen years if he does it he'll get his ass kicked. Probably by me." She hurried away, glancing back as if I offered to eat the little fucker. Yeah... I'm not in the mood.
[keywords: Health stupid-people] |
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