Today was a trying day for my nerves. Besides the regular slew of calls I had a guy completely flip out on me as soon as I said, "How may I help you?" Aparently Help = Scream at. After the first SIX times I said "I am trying to HELP you" you went over the deep edge. I decided to kick it into high gear and just.... sat there. I waited for about thirty seconds (which is an hour in silence time... ask JakeD) before reinterrating that I was trying to HELP him and that the only way I could HELP him was if he stopped yelling. I think each time I said HELP it was like a poke in the chest. Just enough to almost say FUCK YOU without losing my job. Finally the little bastard shut up and I put him on hold while trying to track down (and kill) the person responsible for him being on my line. I found the original coordinator who took care of his case and asked for the background. She said that she left a message 45 minutes ago with his wife that he still needed information. Fine. I picked up the phone and began to repeat what she said. Halfway through my ears crawled into the side of my head and shivered while he screamed, "My WIFE?!?! I don't HAVE a wife". I promptly put him back on hold and looked for something sharp as I asked her who EXACTLY she called. "Oh wait. This is a different patient." I snapped, "Fine, then YOU can tell him that" and transfered the miserable bastard to her. Then I looked for something dull. My kingdom for a spoon....

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