I shouldn't have done it. Why get excited about a job that you don't even know about? Yesterday my friend urged me to apply for an MSO position. I don't even know what the hell an MSO does. It's a big jump as far as positions go. Imagine walking up a flight of stairs and trying to step over four steps at a time. Yeppers, It's just like that. The worst part is that I wouldn't even want to be standing on that step in the first place. I've been wanting to move back to campus. Back to Westwood. Being out here is like the step child who lives out of the cellar. We're the afterthought of any UCLA celebration. Too far to go to any conference, too far to even join in on any parties. We get the party favors and stories of what went on, as if that's going to make it alright. A friend even referred to my location as 'the prison'. Sweat shop attitudes and minimal benefits.

This morning I called my friend to get her honest opinion of the position. Together we read the description and my heart sank. Even halfway through I knew I wasn't a good fit. So did she. After talking for a bit I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn't going anywhere soon. Right now I feel like I've been punched in the gut. What's stupid is that I shouldn't have even started down this path until I read the description. 'You'd be perfect for it' is a line I've heard a thousand times. Perfect for some of it, for the rest... not so much. One thing is for sure, I need to start actively looking. My job isn't horrible by any means. For the most part it's one of the better positions. I've grown so much here. When I started I was content with answering phones and stuffing envelopes. As the duties mounted I fought it the whole way. Suddenly I woke up and they didn't seem so bad. Maybe I grew mentally. One day you put down the dolls and see there is a whole world out there. Now I want something more. The journey continues...

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