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« November 2006 | Main | January 2007 » December 28, 2006No Skirt or Hat DayLast night was insane. We've been having high wind alerts all evening and around 2 AM it went into Dorothy territory. The windows started banging against each other and the power went out. Mind you, we have sliding glass windows. Jake got up to try and wedge stuff against the windows and I heard the upstairs people doing the same. This morning we woke up to High Wind warnings. A HIGH WIND WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 12 PM PST FRIDAY. NORTH WINDS OF 35 TO 50 MPH WITH DAMAGING WIND GUSTS TO 80 MPH WILL CONTINUE. I always wanted a nice pair of red shoes.
[keywords: Weather] December 25, 2006Surfing the Internets....I was surfing through :su: and stumbled across a site that offered some simple tips on how to hide an erection. Of course I had to ask :jake: if this was a regular problem while he was battling monsters on his X-Box 360. Me: Hey! He thinks I'm trying to throw him off. I'm just keeping him on his toes.
[keywords: boyfriend jake surfing] December 22, 2006Wrapping Madness!Yesterday was wrapping day at our house. Number of presents to wrap: 1. I was sitting at the computer with Phoebe when her ears perked up and she took off down the hall like a bat out of hell. The next thing I hear is paper crumpling and Jake yelling, "G-d damn it!" She waltzed back out only to do it again. By the third time Jake learned to listen for her galloping and pulled the paper out of the way. I was no help, laughing and calling to her. I can't imagine wrapping any other gifts. If we have to I'm getting video of it. :D
[keywords: Life Cats boyfriend jake Phoebe presents] December 21, 2006Kleptomaniacs R UsI can't believe they did it AGAIN! This is the third water bottle that went missing at my work. Apparently they like to recycle around here and water bottles are gold. Either that or someone decided to ignore all the obvious trash and just throw away my clearly marked water bottle. So much for being cheap and re-using an old bottled water container. This morning my coworker noticed her bottled water container was missing too. I wouldn't be so annoyed except they keep taking the bottles. They've even gone into my drawer to take them. My boss told me to make a complaint. Riiight. I mentioned it to the office liaison just so they could pass it on to not throw away peoples' items on their desk. Either that or they could actually clean my desk. That'll make em stop. The good news is they are hiring a new cleaning company that will be starting in January. The bad news is our plastic bottles won't be safe for another week. :p
[keywords: Work stealing] December 20, 2006Round Three of Cubicle Neighbor MadnessThe weird IT chick that moved next to me decided to have a mini lunch date with the new guy at her desk last week. She bitches about how loud we are anytime someone asks how her new cubicle is. Meanwhile she seems to have no volume control on her yapper. I would have really liked it for her date. She started off bitching about the Democrats and how they'll see how bad it will get, yada yada yada... Then started in on Clinton (of course). She couldn't understand how Democrats love the guy. Then she added, "I mean... Bush never lied... to a grand jury. He spoke the truth. You know, what he believed to be true." I had to fight the urge to jump the cubicle and slap her upside the head. I've never actually heard someone say that. Sure, there are people who don't read the news and only believe what they hear in church... but this was an educated woman. I had to leave my desk. Yesterday she comes to work sick (one of my pet peeves). Don't bring your germs to work! How sick she was is up for debate though. Her voice went from a complete whisper (Telling her boss she's completely lost her voice) to normal tone (gossip, gossip, gossip with a coworker). All day long... I almost miss the *hocking* dude. Almost.
[keywords: Work coworkers Creepy_IT_Chick] December 18, 2006Wait... You'll WHAT!?!I survived the annual work party and managed to have some fun. We drove to my boss' house on Saturday afternoon, expecting the 'biggest storm of the season'. Yeah, so basically my car got washed. I think more water comes out of a car wash then the whole storm combined. You gotta love that California weather. We were the first ones to arrive (figures) and helped set things out. It was nice to see my boss in a cheerful mood. Her husband even managed to show up (don't ask) and be pleasant. I love how I'm her assistant and he still has no clue as to who I am. And we've met several times. Soon the other guests arrived and we started to enjoy ourselves. The food was good, there was only ONE Christmas game to get through and everyone had a blast. We sat at the cool peoples table and talked about horse fucking and other bizarre news items that would have had the other guests running for the door. JakeD got roped into playing the White Elephant game... and scored a nice candle set. After that we were out the door. I wished my boss a merry Christmas and she gave me an odd look. "I'll see you on Monday." You'll what!?! Oh yes, I was the pillar of calmness. My friend laughed all the way to her car, talking about the expression on my face. Lovely. We followed my friend/his boss who lives around there to see some gorgeous Christmas lights. The homes were incredible and the lights were professionally done. I would love to go back and see more closer to the Christmas holiday.
[keywords: Friends holidays party weekends] December 15, 2006Ho Ho Fuck OffI survived another year without decking the Santa in the halls. That's a Christmas song, isn't it? Anyway, this year I conveniently had to pee when he made the rounds to our area. I stopped by one of the IT guys and we talked about his behavior last year. The IT guy chimed in, "Let him try doing that to my Muslim ass." Yay for another person who understands! While we were chatting they came up to ask him to pose with Santa with his group. His answer: "Oh hell no." I would love for this country to go Jewish for a year. Or any other non Christian religion. Imagine ONLY celebrating someone else's holidays officially. The food you shop for, the days you take off... all based on their religious beliefs. That's one 'Christmas present' I'd happily accept with baby in a manger wrapping and a Santa card to boot.
[keywords: Work holidays religions] December 14, 2006I'm Only a Jew on WednesdaysWe had a meeting to discuss holiday dishes and the subject of Ham came up. I smiled and said nothing while a coworker chimed in, "Isn't that something you don't eat?" I responded that she was correct, Jews don't eat ham. With that my boss blurted out, "Well I don't let something like religion get in the way of eating food." After I found my jaw and re-attached it I simply said, "How nice" and left out the part about hoping she'd feel the same when I converted to Satanism and preformed human sacrifices for lunch. I was highly annoyed to say the least.
[keywords: Work boss holidays religion Judaism] December 13, 2006Tis The Season to be GrumpyThis weekend is our holiday party, which will be held at my boss' house. Oh joy. Oh rapture. She got together with the whole staff (minus me, of course) and agreed upon the day. So what happens? Six people have plans and can't make it. She is a tad annoyed to say the least. Meanwhile the 'come and enjoy' has turned into 'Oh and bring food... Ummm... and some sort of gift.' She gave me the list of people to invite, which I sent out. Now I get a daily 'Did you invite this person?' like I'm going to just start pulling strays off the street to go to her place. I don't even want to go. Why work 40 hours and then have to go and be with coworkers on one of your two days off? Yeah, so Bah Humbug to you too.
[keywords: Work holidays] December 10, 2006Back In the SaddleI am finally 'almost' over the head cold from hell. Tomorrow is my first day back, which means it will be hell. Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Heh. This past week has been a blur, as you can tell by the sporadic posting. Considering this was the first bad cold in a year I guess I'm doing well. Let's just hope my boss remembers that. Oy.
[keywords: Health Work] December 04, 2006*Blows Nose*Kill me now. I've had the head cold from hell for the past three days. On Friday I started feeling sick and told my boss. Her reaction: "Keep away from me!" She's getting her wish today. I'm keeping my miserable self home today and about to go back to bed.
[keywords: Health] December 02, 2006*Sneezes IceCicles*Our office is FREEZING! The weather has been quite chilly out and the winds were strong enough to make the windows vibrate. Since I go from an underground parking lot into a building I didn't think I would need a jacket. WRONG! On Monday I opened the office door and was hit by a wall of cold. I could almost see my breath. After an hour of it getting even colder my boss went to find out what the issue was. Apparently the boiler had broken and those smart guys thought turning on the air conditioning would be a good idea to circulate air. Then the thermostat broke while on. By the end of the day everyone was wearing coats, scarves and gloves. I was jogging in place and begging to leave. Of course thats normal so she ignored me. We finally got an 'official' email telling us what we already knew... and as an added kicker that they wouldn't know if they could fix it until tomorrow. Apparently 'tomorrow' means 'sometime next week' because we had no heat the whole week. By Friday I was trying to type with gloves on. I swear I wanted to spear them with my nipples. I could have, too...
[keywords: Work] |
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