I saw my first nun. I was driving home while talking to Jake on my cell phone (using the headset, of course) and recounting the day. I glanced over and sitting in traffic going the opposite way was a nun. In a Honda. A nun in a Honda. It blew me away. Yes, I know they are allowed to drive. At least I think the religion allows them. Who knows with all the whacky rules. But this was my first nun. I was excited. After telling Jake he quipped, "You're lucky she didn't smack your hand with a ruler." I retorted, "Honey, I'm Jewish. She'd do a lot more than that."

My Catholic friends always talk about the nuns from hell. I've heard countless stories about evil nuns and their heavy rulers, smacking children at will. The funny part is, some of the wildest people I know went through Catholic School. It's like the idea had the opposite effect. It's like the real goal is to keep em penned up until they're legal... then unleash their wild asses onto the world.

I've always thought nuns were evil. Well, except for the flying nun. They walk around in comfortable shoes and never ever think about sex. Their only enjoyment is the punishment of children, whether they deserve it or not. You never hear of nun scandals... The preachers chase altar boys around while the nuns sharpen their rulers... JUST in case. Anyway, she looked cranky.

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